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#Incorrect Justice League
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let's pretend that this is the right timeline because what if Dick becomes Batman at the same time when Wally becomes The Flash?
let's also say that this is just like the Justice League animated series wherein the League members don't know each member's identities (except of course Bruce, he knows everybody).
how funny would it be if Dick and Wally are together and the rest of the League are confused because all of a sudden Batman and Flash are close like super close? i mean they have witnessed how Flash gets intimidated by Batman. now, that's not the case anymore.
during a meeting:
Hal, leaning to John during a League meeting, whispers: I'm not losing my mind, right?
John, whispers back: I think I know what you mean.
Hal: Why is Flash making heart eyes to Bats????
John: I know??? Flash doesn't even look him in the eyes before.
Hal: That's so odd, dude.
Batman glances at the two Green Lanterns which makes them shut up.
meanwhile, across the table, Martian Manhunter has a light smile on his lips and Superman covers his laugh with a cough.
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at the cafeteria:
Ollie: Hey, Dinah. Have you noticed something unusual between Batman and Flash lately?
Dinah: It is quite unusual, huh? I was talking to Hawkgirl the other day and she said she saw Flash bridal carry Bats.
Ollie: What the actual fu-
Flash, approaches the couple's table with a big bowl of nachos on his hand: Hey, guys! Mind if I sit with you?
Ollie and Dinah give a knowing look at each other. a conversation they definitely will finish later.
-
during in an another planet mission:
Batman, after announcing everyone's partners for the mission:... And lastly, I will pair up with Flash in today's mission.
Flash grins widely, that has Arthur thinking his cheeks might be hurting after that.
Arthur: Yeah, yeah. At this point, we already know, Bats!
the Green Lanterns, along with Captain Marvel and Booster Gold, snicker at his comment.
Batman ignores Arthur's comment and the rest of the members scatter to their assigned locations.
Victor, who was paired with Arthur: Was gonna give that comment too.
Arthur: It's like they are inseparable all of a sudden.
Victor, shakes his head: Well, I have seen weirder things.
-
in the meeting hall:
Wonder Woman, pulls Batman in the corner of the room: Okay, that's enough. You are truly ignoring me. What is going on with you lately?
Batman: Did the rest of the League put you up to this?
Wonder Woman, has her hands on her hips: They didn't need to. So, tell me. And don't you ever lie to me, I can see right through you, Batman.
Batman, sighs: It's hard for me to explain. I can't-I can't tell you right now.
Wonder Woman: Hera! Now, Bru-Batman.
before Batman responses, the door of the meeting hall opens and in comes Robin with his katana. the conversations between the League members come to a stop as they stare at the young hero.
Robin, glances at everyone, before approaching Flash: I need help with an important matter.
Flash, smiles and ruffles Robin's hair, as if that's second nature: Of course, little dude.
Hal, stands up from his seat: THAT'S IT! Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on????
Ollie, stands up with him: Are we in another dimension that I don't know about?????
Dinah pulls Ollie down by his arm to make him sit again.
the rest of the League members start to converse against each other.
Superman, floats a bit from his seat: Why don't we all settle down? There's nothing to be alarmed about.
Robin, shakes his head: Tt. Absolute fools.
by the time Bruce and Barry are back:
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Bruce, pinches the bridge of his nose: Chum, you could at least be discreet with Wally.
Dick: It's not my fault, B! I swear I was going to explain to Aunt Diana then Dami entered the room.
Damian: Tt. Don't blame me, Grayson. Why don't you lecture West on how to be more responsible? He left me on read when I asked help for my Science project.
Dick, sighs: And what about Timmy? He could have helped.
Damian: I don't want anything to do with Drake.
Bruce massages his temples as he feels a headache coming up.
-
Barry: Wally!!!!
Wally, zooms right in front of Barry: I couldn't help it, okay?? Dick is just irresistible.
Iris giggles as she prepares the table for dinner.
Barry, sighs: That's alright. I'll talk to Bats on how we can explain it to the team.
Wally, grins and sits down by the table: It was hard not to laugh at them. They were so confused.
Barry, chuckles: I'm sure Hal's expression was the funniest.
Wally, laughs: You have no idea, Uncle Barry.
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niiwa-angel · 4 months
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Barry to Bruce: Hal and I bought tickets late and each wound up in middle seats on the same row.
Barry: I've already apologized to the people beside me 10 times. He's sharing beef jerky with his people and might be in someone's wedding.
Bruce to Barry: That's why I fly private.
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lithiumseven · 2 years
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Captain Marvel, an actual 12 year old, trying to pass as a grownup: I will take a cup of coffee please
Waitress: Alright, how would you like it?
Captain Marvel, panicking: Uh…….sunny side up?
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frownyalfred · 2 years
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Bruce: nobody thinks Superman and I are involved
Hal, to the Justice League: um, raise your hand if you thought Batman and Superman were a thing
(everyone around the table raises their hand)
Bruce, dying inside: Clark, for the love of God, please put your hand down
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mockstarling · 2 years
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Masterlist | Previous | Next
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a-comic-bitch · 1 year
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I can’t stop thinking about Batman’s face reveal and the Justice league not focusing on the fact that he is Bruce Wayne but the fact that he’s fuck!ng beautiful.
Cause they all think he is a social outcast that lives in a cave so the surprise that he is actually crazy attractive would be devastating.
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vertigoambrosia · 2 years
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yjcorefourenjoyer · 3 months
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AU that the batkids are all serious and bat-like ONLY WHEN BATMAN ISN’T AROUND
Like when they’re on their own team/out of Gotham? Most respected, calm and serious person there. They have a plan and it will work. “Oh yeah I memorized all the exits and people here the second I entered, you didn’t?” That’s them.
But in Gotham w/ Batman? Pranks galore and singing on patrol, they forget to sleep and forget to eat. When Batman tells them their gonna have a longer patrol they all sigh and complain while trying to give other siblings their work in exchange for doing that sibling’s chore.
But nobody knows that they act like that!! Batman would say something like
“Gosh my kids blew something up I have to go,”
AND EVERYONE WHOSE EVER MET THEM IS ALL CONFUSED LIKE “BUT THEIR A BAT?!?! HUH??!”
and Batman would respond
“Oh yeah you know them, always doing something their not supposed to”
JL: “NO?!”
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vodrae · 4 months
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Villain swaps Bruce and Clark minds.
Bruce: I get the "man of steel" now. *Punches villain*
Clark: Why...Why...WHY ARE YOU SO MUCH IN PAIN ?!
Bruce: What do you mean ? I took a 12 hours break yesterday, I'm as fresh as a newborn.
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firerose18991 · 6 months
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Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?
Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT
Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR
*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*
Bruce: BE-quiet.  They're ADOPTED!
Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.
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mcuxhp777 · 1 month
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just imagine how stressed the jl would be after finding out that bruce has a biological son. he's batman, so of course, he's not going to get laid, right? then he introduces the new robin that acts and looks a lot like him and the jl malfunctions
Diana: So, he's not adopted?
Bruce: No, he's my son
Clark: How did you? How can you? How did this happen?
Hal: What Clark's trying to ask is, how did you get laid?
Clark: Especially with you brooding all the time
Bruce: It just happened
Diana: *Picks up Damian* He's quite cute
Damian, about to stab Diana: I am not cute
Diana, who is used to kids with a sword due to being raised on Themyscira: Oh and he's a warrior by heart
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batfamgalore · 2 months
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*The Justice League reaches out to Nightwing and tells him they need help on a case. Dick asks Bruce why they asked him*
Bruce: I might have mentioned to the Justice League, accidentally, that you… might be able to help.
Dick: Whoah. Time out. Flag on the play. Did you vouch for me?
Bruce: No. I wouldn’t say exactly I vouched for you.
Dick: Wally, Bruce vouched for me.
Bruce: I did not vouch for you.
Dick: You were bragging on me. You have a dad crush on me.
Bruce: Dick, I was not bragging on you. I was merely stating facts about your track record that are in the newspaper.
Dick: Let’s hug it out.
Bruce: Put your arms down.
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frownyalfred · 2 months
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Bruce, sitting through the mandatory psych eval he created for the Justice League that Clark is also making him take:
Hal Jordan, underlining something on his clipboard: “Name a weakness.”
Bruce: “All of my questions sound like insults.”
Hal:
Bruce:
Hal: “…can you give an example?”
Bruce: “Can you not think of one yourself?”
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incorrectbatfam · 7 months
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Bruce: Would you like something to drink? We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper—
Clark: Spiders?
Bruce: Spiders it is, then.
Clark: No, that wasn't—
Bruce: *already pouring a glass of spiders*
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mockstarling · 2 years
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Hal: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.
Oliver, used to hal being dumb: Sure. . .
Guy: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.
Oliver: Okay?
Jessica: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.
Oliver:
Kyle: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-
Oliver: Jesus, that one is a little-
Barry, interested: No, no, Ollie let them keep going.
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a-comic-bitch · 2 years
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I love the idea of a fic where most people don’t interact with Gotham and the people outside of Gotham don’t know much about it except it’s a dangerous place and has Batman. Same goes with the Justice league. So one day the Justice league has to go to Gotham for some mission and they are shocked and disturbed at how violent and gruesome the villains are. And Batman just dealing with it like it’s normal.
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