#Quote Kent

[incorrectbatfam]

Has Bruce ever packed the kids lunch when Alfred wasn't there? How'd it go?

[Wayne Enterprises]

Tim: Finally, time for my break.

Tim: *opens his mini fridge*

*dozens of apples fall out*

———————

[the library]

Steph: *chugs a gallon of milk*

Cass: *bites into a bread loaf*

Barbara: I'm not even gonna ask.

———————

[day patrol]

Duke: *opens his lunchbox*

Duke: *sighs*

Duke: *pulls out his bat-skillet*

Duke: *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg—*

———————

[West-Reeve Middle School]

Damian: Kent, I will trade you your cupcake for this head of lettuce.

Jon: ...

Jon: Deal.

———————

[Bludhaven]

Jason: Bruce packed our lunches. He said we're supposed to share.

Jason: *hands him a bag*

Dick: What'd you get?

Jason: A frozen turkey. You?

Dick: *opens it*

*fire alarm goes off*

[timdrakeismypatronus]

Kon: Tim is my friend, and if I love him, it’s the way I would love a brother. Jason: Tim is my brother and if he looked at me the way you look at him, I would call the police

[mcuxhp777]

Clark: *Out of curiosity* How did all four of you even become Robin

Dick: My parents died in the circus

Jason: I stole Bruce's tyres off of the batmobile

Tim: I stalked him

Damian: I'm his only biological son and there's no refund button

[iwannabealice]

clark: i met this boy last night that seemed to really hate you

bruce: that could be anyone, what did he look like?

clark: tall, white, dark hair, really big-

bruce: ah, that’d be jason. my son

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Bruce: Why are you two fighting?

Damian: Kent keeps insisting I’m a clone.

Clark: Jon now that’s not very nice.

Jon: But it’s true. He was made the same Connor was, and everyone calls him a clone.

Clark: Well it’s different-

Jon: How?

Bruce: Yeah Clark, how?

*Outside, ten minutes later, as Bruce and Clark argue*

Tim: This was the best idea we’ve ever had.

Kon: Totally.

Damian: Tt, I believe we are owed payment?

[waterfire1848]

Clark: Wait. The kids already told you this?? Bruce: What?! The kids say insane stuff all the time! How was I supposed to know this one was true?! Tim, who hasn't slept in three days: Bank accounts are a scam created by the shadow government. Bruce: See?!?!

[unidentifiedgothamite]

duke: who do you guys think is bruce's favorite child?

jason: it's probably fingerstripes

dick: me?! it's obviously you, jay

tim: it's jason

steph: facts. b lets him get away with everything, including murder

cass: jason

damian: as much as i loathe to admit it, father does treat todd differently

jason: ya'll are trippin'

meanwhile...

clark: b, just curious, but, do you have a favorite child?

bruce: hn, what date is it?

clark: um, may 12th?

bruce: then it's batcow

clark: what

bruce: did i stutter?

[superbat-love]

Clark: [stares at Ace] Is that what I think it is?

Bruce: Oh, that’s Chewperman, Ace’s favorite chew toy.

Clark: You let Ace chew on a mini me?

Bruce: That’s what it’s made for. If it makes you feel bad, I’ll make one for Krypto too. He’ll love it, right boy?

Ace: Woof.

The following week at the Fortress of Solitude…

Bruce: Why is this toy kept behind a glass casing? It’s meant for Krypto. [takes it out of the casing and tosses it to Krypto] Here boy!

Krypto: [happily chomps on the Batman chew toy]

Clark: Noooo! Don’t! Krypto, let go of Batsqueak!

Bruce: Batsqueak?

Clark: It just feels wrong, Bruce! I can’t bear to let any harm come to Batsqueak. He should be kept safe in his ice cave, not mauled by giant fangs.

Bruce: …

[vixfern]

Bruce: So what's for dinner?

Clark: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise!

Bruce: ...

Bruce: Is it soup?

Clark: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Bruce: Please, Clark, enough with the soup puns.

Clark: Wow, you're soup-per mean.

Bruce: STOP!

*one hour later*

Bruce: It's fucking tacos?!?!?!

[singswan-springswan]

Clark: Bruce Bruce what is this 9 yr old Dick: :D Clark: Bruce Bruce, haggard, injecting 5 hour energy straight into his arm: baby bird Clark: you can't let a child fight crime Bruce, near tears: you want to try and stop him? please for the love of God Clark try please Dick: I'm gonna do murder! Dick: *cartwheels* Clark: oh no Bruce: that's what I said

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: Would you like something to drink? We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper—

Clark: Spiders?

Bruce: Spiders it is, then.

Clark: No, that wasn't—

Bruce: *already pouring a glass of spiders*

[headcanonthings]

Clark: *Laying face down on the floor* Lois: So Bruce said he liked you? Clark, muffled: Yeah Diana: ...and you asked him to marry you? Clark: Yeah Lois: Oh shit. How did he react? Clark: Dunno, I ran before I could scare him even more *Meanwhile* Bruce, kicking in the door to the Manor: Kids, Alfred! Holy shit I'm gonna get married!

[mcuxhp777]

Damian: These are my older brothers

Jon: Hi

The three brothers: Hey

Damian: Oh, you will love Titus

Jon: Oh, he and Krypto can play along

Damian: Of course

*They walk out of the living room*

Jason: No fucking way is that Damian

Tim: *Shrugs* Maybe Jon actually made him human

Dick: I have to agree with Jason, he referred to us as 'brothers' and not 'Bruce's three disappointments'

[p1nkshield]

Bruce: Robin, this is Superman

Clark: hello! it’s a pleasure to meet-

Robin!Dick: Can you throw me?

Clark: I’m sorry what?

Robin!Dick: I said can you throw me with all your strength into the sky!

Clark: No?!? Why?!? You would die!

Robin!Dick: I won’t die I’m built different!!!! Throw me!! I wanna taste the clouds and see how many flips I can do!!

Bruce: *long dad sigh*

Clark: clouds just taste like water!

Robin!Dick: Sounds like something someone might say if they wanted all the tasty clouds to themselves!

Clark: What?!?

Years Later

Dick: Uncle Clark?

Clark: No, I will not.

Dick: >:(

[werewolf-in-sweaters]

Bruce: Rules are made to be broken. Clark: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Dick: Uh, piñatas. Jason: Glow sticks. Tim: Karate boards. Damian: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Bruce: Rules. Clark:

[perfectquote]

Never apologize for burning too brightly or collapsing into yourself every night. That is how galaxies are made.

Tyler Kent White