#batfam lol

[spicy-apple-pie]

AU where Damian feels really bad for hurting Tim but won't admit it out loud, so he goes into over protective mode.

... I made a part 2...

...Part 3...

EDIT: PROSHIPPERS GET OUT OF HERE YOU GOOFS

[yuwigqi]

HC an actual real forensic psychologist interviews Joker, and realizes he does not meet the legal requirements for being mentally unfit to stand trial (TRUE), and the jury finds he does not meet the requirements for criminal insanity (TRUE) and he is sentenced to death and just like actually successfully executed by Belle Reve Penitentiary.

Batman's official statement "I do not kill. However, I do not give formal statements in political issues, such as the death penalty. If Joker escapes, I will send him back to Belle Reve, regardless of whatever sentencing he receives. I am a Vanguard. I am not a New Jersey Apex Court Justice. Sentencing is outside my jurisdiction or personal interests. Thank you."

Orphan's statement is "I believe wholeheartedly in the sanctity of life. However, I am not opposed to euthanasia."

Red Hood gets hired as a literal Seasonal Summer Worker for Belle Reve, and stands guard.

Barbara Gordon gets hired as Belle Reve Archivist.

Duke Thomas speaks publicly about the Justice System's constant ignorance of the realities of Mental Illness, and the pathologization of acts of violence as mental illness, as well as how white men are frequently given passes for violence by the justice system.

The Joker is executed on April 1st. He is cremated, and his ashes are used in compost alongside goat and pig manure.

Dr. Harleen Quinzel is tried as well, and actually found criminally insane, and after 1 year in psychiatric hospital, and triweekly therapy, she has shown proof of improvement and rehabilitation, 2 years after that, her licensure is reinstated. Instead of going into patient practice, she does psychiatric research, and publishes several papers on the interactions of PTSD and psychotic disorders, as well as developing counseling treatments for domestic abuse and cult survivors.

"Jokes on You Day" becomes a national holiday.

[violent138]

The idea of the Batkids doing normal people things while suited up is hilarious to me, you know, like Red Robin and Spoiler making the 9 o'clock news while racing through a grocery store because they totally forgot to get the things Alfred asked them to bring for the family dinner. Or Damian and Dick swinging into the Bludhaven Zoo mid-patrol because Dami really wanted to see the new baby tiger. Red Hood buying lemonade from a kid's stand and then standing there awkwardly messing with his helmet, trying not to hurt the kid's feelings. Black Bat, on a particularly tiring day randomly appeared in the nosebleeds of the ballet hall and started sniping phones out of people's hands. Or Signal and a deeply irritated Batman changing out a blown-out tyre in some back alley, earning amused looks.

[frappegoddess]

I originally said this in a reblog but, picture this

Bruce Wayne gets invited by BuzzFeed to read thirst tweets. They are all from his Justice League coworkers.

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Bruce, in a completely monotonous voice: @Superman says: I wanna suck Bruce Wayne's soul out through his dick and spit it back in his face.

Bruce, with a completely straight face: Poetic

--------------------------------------------

Cue the batkids watching this video after its been uploaded and gone viral on Twitter: Remember when Uncle Supes wrote that tweet about you when he was stoned off his ass??

------------------------------------------

Said video was further used as blackmail by Tim, Jason and Steph. Duke couldn't look him in the eye for a week straight. Damian is yet to understand why the kids at school keep making jokes about his dad.

------------------------------------------

The Justice League will never live it down

[arttuff]

brucie wayne is not immune to the sudden urge to hug his son

[poppingaround]

Jason: Today I’ll be teaching how to stop using anti-self language.

Dick: I’m listening.

Jason: Instead of saying “I messed up.” say “Why don’t you stop me.”

Damian: Hm.

Damian: Instead of saying “You’re great.” say “You’re a higher stepping stone for me.”

Jason: You got it.

Dick: I don’t think that’s right…

Cass: Instead of saying “I’m sorry.” say “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Jason: Exactly.

Dick: Not exactly.

Tim: Instead of saying “People should control the government.” say “I should control the entire world.”

Jason: Hell yeah.

Steph: Instead of saying “I’m not funny.” say “I alone decide what is funny.”

Duke: Instead of saying “Thank you.” say “ ”

Jason: Damn that’s good.

Jason: Your turn.

Dick: …Fine, instead of saying “I was wrong.” say “You are wrong.”

Jason: Well there’s still room to improve but it’s alright.

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Big bird protecting his baby bird :3

[inspisart]

dick took the news that a strange thirteen year old broke into his apartment while he was away at the circus pretty well, I gotta say

[batcavescolony]

*family hanging out*

Damian: *sneaking in animals* Drake I need a distraction.

Tim: why should I help you?

Damian: I won't tell everyone how many people you killed when you blew up Grandfather's league bases.

Tim: fine. HEY REMEMBER THAT TIME DICK KILLED THE JOKER AND BRUCE REVIVED HIM?

Dick&Bruce: *looks at Tim in horror*

Tim: it was getting too chummy around here anyways.

Jason: I'M SORRY WHAT!!!

Damian: *sneaks his animals in*

[sunnycanwrite]

things that have happened recently in Wayne Manor:

Alfred removed all the curtains to air then out and discovered someone has been writing on them for years.

Cow shaped hooveprints were found on the hood of Dick's car

Cow shaped hooveprints were found on the hood of Jason's car

Damian decided to move out for a good two days before showing up again, and had been clingy since, weird

Tim found out he has a gluten allergy and has been in a one sided argument with Alfred over it.

Someone thought it was funny to hid every single mug in the house in Duke's closet it was not at all he opened it and a fed of the fell over and broke.

Cass fell asleep on the couch only to awake up in a completely different part of the house, her brother's fighting over what animated barbie movie to watch. They chose the twelve dancing princesses of course.

[oh-theatre]

Bruce: I pissed off Jason to the point he decided to take out stitches in my uniform… it fell apart as soon as I put it on

Dick: That’s the thing with pissing off a ‘dead’ man. He’s got nothing but time

[reineydraws]

rip the bat boys 💀

[violent138]

Tim, looking around the darkened corridor: "You think it's a good idea to be breaking into random places right now?"

Jason said nothing, fumbling in his pockets.

Dick: "You live here, don't you?" Which gets everyone's attention laser-focused.

Jason just cast him a look, getting the door open.

Steph entered first, smacking into something that falls over. "Jeez." She complained, stumbling backward until Cass steadied her by the shoulders. "Sorry, that's my bad."

Duke turned on the lights in one motion, making everyone blink and wince.

"Get off me." Damian snapped, and Dick carefully let him go, letting him limp angrily into a chair. He frowned, scrutinizing the place. "You live here? Why would anyone--"

"Guys." Dick rubbed his eyes over the mask, cutting off Damian and Jason’s sharp answer. "First aid kit?" Dick asked Jason tiredly.

Jason nodded, moving to get it and heard Damian ask "What?" in response to a patented glare he must be getting.

Tim had made a beeline for the kitchen. "Dude, why do you have a singular set of dishes? And why are there just guns in this cabinet?"

Jason scoffed, handing Dick the kit. "Didn't realize I was running a fucking bed and breakfast."

"There's guns in this cabinet too!" Tim shook his head, opening and closing two more. "Oh good, just large knives in this one."

At Tim's raised eyebrows, Jason went into the kitchen and shooed Cass down the counter she was perched on, grabbing the paper plates he kept in a drawer and shoving them into Tim's chest.

Glancing at the way Steph was rubbing her neck, slouched at the table, Jason grabbed two ice packs, sliding one her way and throwing the other to Damian.

Duke, taking a book off Jason's meticulously organized shelf: "Why do you have seven copies of Pride and Prejudice? Did you keep forgetting you bought it, or--?"

Jason, storming over to put the book back. "Stop."

Dick looked up from the wound he was stitching. "Are they different at at all?"

"Are they in different languages?" Steph asked.

"Did you barter them for food? Because your fridge is fucking empty." Tim reported.

Jason groaned, realizing that they weren't going to drop it. "One has a different introduction and one is the zombies version. And yes, the rest are the same, now could you all stop touching stuff?"

"Why do you have five copies of the same book?"

[merletka]

eepy jason please 🫶

[oifaaa]

Your little Jason's face is so squishable

[ghost-bxrd]

“Hood? Hood?? Do you copy????”