#incorrect dick grayson quotes

[xpeterstarkx]

jason: who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

steph: >:O language

damian: yeah, watch your fucking language

dick: okay, who taught damian the fuck word?

cass: 'the fuck word'.

tim: are you foolish? you guys use the f word all the time

damian: oh my god, timothy censored it

cass: say fuck, tim.

damian: do it, timothy. say fuck.

[incorrect-waynemanor]

bruce: i left everyone instructions for when i’m gone

dick: mine just says “dick, no”

bruce: i want you to apply it to every possible situation

cass: mine just says “cassandra yes”

bruce: same rules apply to you

[incorrectjaydick]

Dick: I am not an early bird or a night owl. I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.

[sepia-stained-sunset]

Some villain with truth serum: And who is your father really?

Robin! Dick Grayson: My father is... Edward Cullen

Battinson: *long suffering sigh* You accept a movie deal once...

[pixelgirlsworld]

incorrect quotes #3 (Gymnastics)

Dick: “You know what I’m really good at?”

(Y/N): “I can name a few things, Handso-“

Dick: “Gymnastics!!!” *hollers*

(Y/N): *wide-eyed*

[incorrextfandomquotes]

Dick: how did you find me?

Jason: i followed the sound of abba music

[thebitterflamingo]

Rest of quote, since we all know Dick is physically incapable of feeling embarrassment (and that’s canon):

Dick: I was nine! AND I’ve only gotten better since! You could even say I’ve gotten… BAT-ter.

Tim, Jason, Damian and the civilian: *collectively groan.*

[vodrae]

Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Bruce: We need to talk about what’s going on with Tim-

Dick: The stalking?

Bruce: No, we settled that-

Jason: His cloning experiments?

Bruce: I thought he stopped that?

Damian: His hit list?

Bruce: What?

Dick: Dami, we’ve already talked about this it wasn’t a “HIT list” hit list- Is this about his spleen?

Bruce: spleen?

Jason: No it’s gotta be the-

Bruce: This was about his weed stash but I’m sensing there are more pressing issues I’ve not been made aware of?

[xpeterstarkx]

cass: the floor is lava!

tim: *helps steph onto the counter*

damian: *kicks dick off the sofa*

jason: *lays on the floor*

cass: ...are you okay?

jason: no.

[incorrectjaydick]

Dick: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

[sepia-stained-sunset]

Dick: Fight me!!

Tim, somehow looming behind him despite being half his height, shrouded in shadows with his eyes glinting maniacally, mouthing: Do Not.

[elecilaombre]

Tim * holding a can of Pepsi * : Do you guys want some Pespi ?

Jason* laughing* : Some what ?

Tim : Pespi .

Duke : It's PePsi not PeSpi Timmy.

Tim : That's what I said Pespi.

Tim : Pespi

Duke : Please would you...

Tim * interrupting Duke * : Pespi

Tim * shrugging* : It's normal it's because I'm ambidextrous.

Damian : Ambidextrous ?

Stephanie * chirping in* : He means Bisexual !

Dick * at the same time * : He means bilingual !

Bruce * tired dad™* : He means he has dyslexia.

[lustwithoutlore]

After a mission…

Dick: I can’t wait to go home, have a bowl of cereal, and go to sleep.

Duke: Lucky, I have patrol in like, two hours. No sleep for me. What’re you going to do when you get home, Jason?

Dick: Wait! Let me guess. Crack open a beer, order in Chinese food, and fall asleep on the couch watching a gritty action movie.

Jason, fully planning on having a lavender scented bubble bath while drinking vanilla earl grey tea and watching Pride and Prejudice: … Something like that.

[91-1lover]

What if Damian and Tim love each other and even like? It's just more of a situation "Manipulating others is easier ". Maybe an example will help;

Damian: Father, May I go to Zoo today?

Bruce:No Damian, you're grounded.

Tim:Oh, that's bad. I could go with you to take photos of otter, but if you are not going I think I will stay too. What's a zoo without company. Maybe I will go with Kon next week.

Bruce *Super happy in a moment of thinking his youngest kids getting along*: If you two agree not to kill each other, Damian can go

Tim and Damian:*Knowing looks*

Or situation like;

Tim who has abandoned issues and is having fear of people leaving him: Dick is mad at me. Can you stab me so he will be in his mother hen mode Instead?

Damian who would like to have 5 minutes of peace from Grayson: Say no more

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.

And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.

Labels are put on everything.

On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.

The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".

The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".

Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.

"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".

Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".

There is a label beneath the desk too.

Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".

It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.

Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.

Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.

"Batceiling"