#incorrect house

[youretellingmethisdidnthappen]

Y/N: Is that your hand on my ass?

House: Yep, it was an accident.

Y/N: Your hand is still on my ass.

House: Accidentally.

[that-bitch-kat3]

walburga: you’re not good enough for my son

remus: you’re not good enough for your son

walburga: excuse me?

remus: you heard me.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Astarion: Little girls who kiss frogs expect them to turn into you.

Wyll: Oh come on. I’m not that good-looking.

Gale: Yeah, you are.

Karlach: You kind of are.

[lilyofthevalleyys]

Sirius at an award show: First of all, I would like to thank Regulus, my brother, for telling me I wasn’t going to win so don’t bother to prepare a speech. From the bottom of my heart, most sincerely, fuck you Reg.

[glossglamour]

i know i just posted this like a week ago But. now im posting it again. this time with a picture !

[dcookechild]

[yourgalgremlin]

Fleamont Potter who makes a plan the day he takes in Sirius Black as his own son in 1975.

Fleamont Potter who waits until James makes Regulus his son-in-law to make a heartwarming “father-of-both-grooms” speech at their wedding reception.

Fleamont Potter who leaves said wedding reception to go find Orion Black in his swanky members-only billiards hall—saying:

“Hello, my name is Fleamont Potter. You abused my kids, Sirius & Regulus. They’re fine now, but the same can’t be said for you.”

& then breaks Orion’s kneecap in with his own pool cue.

[The vision]

[adeptune01]

*bored at a Wayne gala*

Tim: Anybody have any game ideas?

Dick: Let's play the question game!

Jason: NO! Do NOT listen to him.

Duke: What's the question game?

Dick: Two people have a conversation but only in questions. The first person to say a normal sentence loses- but couldn't you have figured it out?

Damian: That does not sound difficult.

Jason: He is unnaturally good at this stupid game. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Dick: It's not that bad is it? So who's up first?

Jason: Run away, little pigs. Run away while you still can.

Steph: Could I give it a go?

Dick: I don't know? Could you?

Steph: You're pretty confident aren't you?

Dick: Any reason I shouldn't be?

Steph: Remind me: your old outfit was butt-ugly, right?

Duke: Isn't that a little...personal?

Steph: Quiet, you. Wait, no, hang on-

Jason: Ooooh, sorry, Steph!

Steph: Duke distracted me! That's cheating!

Dick: Would you like a rematch?

Tim: Wait, wait. Let me give this a try.

Dick: You want to try, Tim?

Tim: Why not?

Dick: Let me know when you're ready?

Tim: I'm ready.

Jason: Short and sweet.

Dick: Anyone else? Jason?

Jason: Hell no- I've lost enough of my life to this dumb game.

Dick: What about you, Damian? You want to give this a try?

Damian: Well, wouldn't that be the next logical step?

Dick: Who said this was a logical game?

Damian: Were you the one who told Bruce to limit my animal adoption rates?

Dick: And what if I was?

Damian: Would you not feel betrayed?

Dick: Would you not like me to act in your own interest?

Damian: Is that a real question?

Dick: Is that an incredibly weak response?

*several hours later*

Damian: But have I proved my point?

Dick: Can we agree to disagree?

Duke: Dick, how long is this going to go on for?

Jason: Hours...days. Months doesn't seem unreasonable.

Tim: Speaking from experience?

Jason: You have no idea.

[regulusblock]

Barty: bro i think we committed the perfect crime

Evan: what do u mean bro

Barty: i stole ur heart and u stole mine

Evan: bro

Barty: bro

[just-tell-him-you-love-him]

It's all about specificity

[houseswife]

people who aren’t in the house md fandom assume that the batshit craziness of these plotlines starts and ends with the old man yaoi and the malpractice. you all think you understand? [grabs you by the face] listen to me closely. these patients specifically seek out house because he’s known as the capital-G God of diagnostics. on MULTIPLE occasions someone has come in with seizures, coughing up blood, in multi-system organ failure and the team is like “it says here in the chart that you’ve had sex before?… yeah so we have concluded that ur allergic to cum :/ sorry.” and then are genuinely shocked when their treatment of “no more taking big fat loads from peanis” doesn’t reverse sepsis. this is a medical drama. about medical mysteries

[m1ndbrand]

Aegon: So you like Aemond?

Y/N: Yes...Thoughts?

Aegon: and prayers, girl what

[speakbythechariot]

More owl house textposts

[lilyofthevalleyys]

*Sirius fucks something up*

Regulus: Now why would you do that???

Remus: Well, he’s not the brightest star in the sky

Regulus:

Sirius:

Sirius: Did

Sirius: Did you just-

[glossglamour]

dont question the quality i made this in ms paint. wilson looks cunt-struck and thats all that matters

[dcookechild]