#Harley is a little shit

[pandagirl45]

Interviewer: who is your favorite parent?

Au miles: dad but pop build me a nest

Morgan: both

Ultron: pop because he takes me out for rides but dad likes helping me cook

Riri: both, they are both smart in their own ways

Harley: pop trains me when he can and dad well, I mean he let me off the hook with homework

Anna: as long as they both don't get hurt or die, I'm happy

Interview:...who dad and pop?

All the gremlins: both

Interviewer: -_-

Tony: *wheezes laughing* we are dap

Bucky: pad even *laughing*

Interviewer:...chaos

[luckyfox3000]

DC X DP PROMT #16

Well hello there my beloved internet strangers! New promt!

Bruce needed a drink. Several bottles worth in fact. Maybe he should call Harley. Have a night out, actually listen to his college friend and let loose.

Or. Or he could deal with the issue at hand. His apparent sort-of-uncle-but-not-really.

Adopted into the wayne family at the age of 11, Danny Fenton soon became Danny Wayne, brother of Thomas Wayne.

Not much was heard about this Wayne after the adoption, and not many cared. Until now.

Bruce had recently received a letter from his lawyer that they found an additional peice to his father's will, hidden in another vault.

Danny Wayne was to be found and given the list of non-descript items. Within the letter that was found there was a single address written, labeled to belong to one Danny Wayne.

...

That's it, Bruce was calling Harley. He'd leave it to Alfred to inform the kids about their sort-of-uncle-but-not-really.

Feel free to add on or use!

[mistergreatbones]

Arkham Knight!Jason and Joker Junior!Tim and Dicky Boy!Dick and Birds of Prey Movie!Cass learn they’re all siblings in other worlds and create the most dysfunctional group of anti-heroes known to mankind. Even worse than the suicide squad because the suicide squad had actual goals whereas these guys just have “steal shit” and maybe “kidnap Batman and Joker and decide which one is our father and which one we should kill”

[coolcoolcoolbutwtf]

Part2 of incorrect quotes from this.

Trixter(Danny) walking: jingle jingle*

JJ (Tim): Why do you keep wearing that old costume still? It's so impractical I mean you have so many bells it's loud and distracting.

Trixter(Danny) who got Harley's old prototype costume and wasn't allowed to take the bells off in the beginning.Has now been wearing it to spit a regretting joker: *shrugs while smiling a pointy teethed cheshire cat smile.

Trixter(Danny) before Tim "joining": *jingle jingle*

Joker in the distance screaming: why didn't I just burn that retched thing when I had the chance!?

The costume in question below.

[poisonousquinzel]

ngl real missed opportunity by DC to let Harley and Mr. Freeze become friends during her primary villain arc (btas or other) cause tbh I can't imagine he'd enjoy sitting in his cell listening to Joker brag about all the ways he's cruel, abusive and uncaring towards Harley, a woman who loves him, while Victor's entire goal is to save his wife who he loves dearly ya know ???? and it's not like all of them haven't been locked up together, the other rogues Know. Joker's not like most abusers who try to keep it behind closed doors, he's very public with his abuse.

And just that feeling of like "I am doing everything I can to save my wife, I have become a criminal and have done awful things in the name of love and I just want nothing more than to have her back and You Have Someone Who Loves You That Much, That Much To Become A Criminal As Well And You Repay That Love By ABUSING HER."

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Pure suffering is loving Harley Quinn and hating that 90% of her new iterations are so reworked/gutted/flanderized that they aren't even Harley. And despite that, the main reasons people hate her all reek of misogyny. Harleen I'm so sorry, once I get Paul Dini's contact info we'll break into DC's editorial department and free you one day

[moomoocowmaid]

The skill of crafting one-liners is both a curse and a blessing in this dog eat dog world.

[random-sparks-98]

Divorced. Beheaded. Died. Divorced. Beheaded. Survived. Tonight, Gotham, We Are LIVE! (3905 words) by Sparky441 Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Duke Thomas, Damian Wayne, Harleen Quinzel, Pamela Isley, Edward Nygma, Jonathan Crane, Oswald Cobblepot, Harvey Dent, Selina Kyle, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth Additional Tags: Chaotic Batfamily (DCU), Tired Parent Bruce Wayne, Crazy Gotham City, Inspired by Six the musical, Crack Treated Seriously, Life in Gotham City (DCU), Gotham City Rogues, It's Halloween Folks, Dick and Harley are on the same wavelength, Chaotic Harleen Quinzel, Chaotic Dick Grayson, Jason Todd Being a Little Shit, bat kids being little shits, Dick Grayson Being a Little Shit, Stephanie Brown Being a Little Shit, Tim Drake Being a Little Shit, Duke Thomas is a Batfamily Member, Duke Thomas Being a Little Shit, Damian Wayne is a Little Shit, Cassandra Cain Being a Little Shit, BAMF Barbara Gordon, chaotic selina kyle, I'd love to say, no beta we die like robins, but there was actually some beta so-, some beta we come back like robins

Summary: Dick bursts into the room. “I’ve just had the Greatest Idea for a group costume this year!!!”

Jason glances over from where he’s holding Damian’s katana out of reach. “Will it fuck with Bruce?”

Dick grins widely. “Of course!”

The assembled bat kids all share a maniacal grin. ”Say no more. We’re in.”

–🦇–

Meanwhile, across Gotham:

Harley bursts into the room. “I’ve just had the Greatest Idea for a group costume this year!!!”

Ivy looks up from the plant she was tending to. “Will it fuck with the bat?”

Harley grins widely. “Of course!”

The assembled rouges all share a maniacal grin. “Say no more. We’re in.”

–🦇–

Meanwhile, in the Batcave:

Bruce shudders as a sudden chill runs down his spine. He brushes it off and turns back to the case file he’s working on. It must be the normal coldness of the cave.

Surely not something else.

Summary:

Dick bursts into the room.

“I’ve just had the Greatest Idea for a group costume this year!!!”

Jason glances over from where he’s holding Damian’s katana out of reach. “Will it fuck with Bruce?”

Dick grins widely. “Of course!”

The assembled bat kids all share a maniacal grin. ”Say no more. We’re in.”

–🦇–

Meanwhile, across Gotham:

Harley bursts into the room.

“I’ve just had the Greatest Idea for a group costume this year!!!”

Ivy looks up from the plant she was tending to. “Will it fuck with the bat?”

Harley grins widely. “Of course!”

The assembled rouges all share a maniacal grin. “Say no more. We’re in.”

–🦇–

Meanwhile, in the Batcave.

Bruce shudders as a sudden chill runs down his spine. He brushes it off and turns back to the case file he’s working on. It must be the normal coldness of the cave. 

Surely not something else.

[littlefankingdom]

Harley Quinn: Nah. He's not Batman. He just kind of wishes he was.

Jason Todd: I AM Batman

Lucy (Harley's daughter): That's a little tragic.

Harley Quinn: I know, right?

- Jason "I will not be Batman but also I want to be Batman" being call out by Harley Quinn in Injustice 2

[lunejump]

I started watching the harley quinn show can u tell.

[marvel-lous-guy]

Bruce: *with his glasses on his head*  Hey guys? I can't find my glasses

Harley: I'll help you look for them for $10

Peter: Harley! That's mean... I'll tell you where they are for $15

Tony: guys! Quit it! Bruce, I'll go get them for you for $20

[pandagirl45]

Harley: hey, bucky

Bucky: hm?

Harley: you and Tony give me lemon and grapefruit vibes

Bucky: *painfully confused*

Harley: *walks away*

Bucky:...*researches it but then mortified and embarrassed by the double meaning*

[harleybarbarahandler]

hope a gotham city sirens movie is being put on the new dceu slate as we speak and that queer women are being hired to both write and direct it

[en-scribed]

ABYSS - The Brewing Storm [short urban fantasy snippet]

A character introduction for a story co-created with @heirmyst about personified immortal Stars secretly living on Earth... and the human boy who stumbles into their world holding an otherworldly parasite! Previous posts: [SUN] [ARCTURUS] [VEGA] [POLARIS] Word count: 1716

Jade’s eyes snapped open. He sat upright with a gasp of much needed air, a little too abruptly. His chair teetered dangerously backward. The hoodie obscuring his view didn’t let him regain his balance in time, but a helpful hand from the side steadied the chair for him.

Thanks, Harley, he wanted to say. His aching, scratchy throat only allowed an incoherent mumble between coughs to push through. 

“Jade Farren, how nice of you to join us,” the teacher’s unamused voice piped up all the way from the front of the classroom. “Do me a favor and try to keep up for the next fifteen minutes? This shortened class is dense as is.”

Badly hidden laughter echoed throughout the room. His fists clenched. Maybe it was time he really gave them something to laugh about.

“Good morning,” Harley whispered, cutting the thought short. Through the black spots dancing in Jade's vision, he could barely see Harley's pink, bracelet-laden shirt sleeve. Harley was putting aside his own notebook and reaching forward to lift Jade's hood. “All good?”

“Mm,” Jade managed, making a feeble effort to swat the hand away. “When did you get here?”

“In the middle of class, while you were already out cold.” 

“Cold is right,” Jade muttered. “The fucking AC’s killing me. Ask to turn it off.”

“It’s not the AC. You’ve just caught something.” They patted Jade’s back and returned to their work; color coded pens, ridiculously detailed notes and all, complete with a fantasy novel on the side for later. 

Jade’s desk, meanwhile, had one open textbook, which he was fairly certain was for the wrong subject. 

“It’s okay,” Harley said, smiling sympathetically. “I’ll get this down for you. Rest up before the assembly.”

Jade accepted that without question, dropping back onto the desk when sitting for too long made his head spin. He fixed his gaze to the front of the room, fighting to stay awake. Chemistry class may have been torture, but it still was a step above drowning in his sleep again.

The bell screeched right on schedule. In the time Jade took to close his singular wrong textbook, almost everyone else had already scrambled to their feet, put their things away and made a beeline toward the auditorium. Jade and Harley were, of course, the last people left.

Harley held a paper in his hands. His face scrunched up in concentration as he scanned it. “Do you think Kiren will mind if I mess up the song?”

“No, but he’ll mind if I happen to breathe in a way he doesn’t like,” Jade pulled his jacket strings tight and shoved his freezing hands into his pockets. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Are you sure you shouldn’t just go home?” Harley asked. “I mean, you look… really bad.”

If the comment came from anyone else right then, it would practically be asking for a punch. But it was Harley, so Jade settled for shooting him a look. “You coming or what?”

Harley sighed and ushered him forward, unfazed. “Just know that if we end up late, it’s on you!” 

When they burst into the auditorium and rushed backstage, Kiren was already rattling off orders at everyone present, clipboard in hand like some sort of miniature director. He counted off all the heads he could see, and then froze, running his hand through his dark curls when he saw people missing. Jade almost considered hiding just to see how far the panic could go, but Kiren missed nothing. Jade and Harley had entered the scene, and Kiren would apparently be damned if he allowed them a second to breathe before forcing them into position. 

“Harley, oh my god, finally!” Kiren grabbed his hand and deposited him near the center of the group. 

Harley followed along, glancing back to give Jade an apologetic wave. 

“There! That’s perfect!” Kiren’s smile plummeted as he turned back to face the far less cooperative newcomer. “And you…”

“Me.” Jade shrugged. “Don’t worry, Mr. President. I’ll save you the trouble and—”

“Nice try, but you’re not off the hook,” he interrupted. “Please, Jade. Do me a favor and don’t ruin this one too.” He turned back to the rest of the classmates, relaxing the slightest bit. “Or… I guess, the curtain's almost up, so you can’t really turn this into a whole thing. Huh.” 

That infuriating triumphant smile did it. Jade curled his fists at his sides. “What? Like I’m some… fucking time bomb you’ve successfully tamed?”

Kiren, ever the asshole, had the nerve to look surprised, as if he didn’t do this at every opportunity. How did anyone ever buy his act? “Jade, when did I ever say—”

“You never have to say it.” His heart pounded, reaching his ears in cold, heavy drumbeats. It intensified when he took in the onlookers’ presence, realizing no one even bothered keeping up the pretense of looking away anymore. He gestured toward them. “See? Everyone watching always makes up their own goddamn minds about me!”

“Okay, just… pipe down, will you?” Kiren said, his gaze frantically darting to the curtain. “People might hear!”

Right. The curtain would rise soon and this was an important assembly, whatever. Jade didn’t care anymore. 

A storm broke within his heart, driving him forward as he lunged at Kiren. But Mr. President wasn’t as squeaky clean as he looked; he knew when to anticipate Jade’s punches by now, and swiftly stepped to the side when Jade had already set his target. 

The next thing Jade knew, he was on the ground, his head driven straight through a used backdrop. 

I’m not done, he told himself, flailing blind to pull himself free. His heartbeat only quickened. Stage lights blinked on and off overhead, but the darkness filling Jade’s vision stayed even when they clicked on for good. I’ll fucking show them…

Someone was screaming, closing in on him. Footsteps rushed to his side. Jade prepared another hit, before his ears cleared enough to let him place the voice.

“Jade!” Harley cast aside the destroyed backdrop and propped Jade up to a sitting position. “Hey. Come on, talk to me!”

“Leave him be, Harley,” Kiren said a short way off, voice laced with his usual unbearable saccharine. “Let him clean up his own messes for once.”

Something cold stung behind Jade’s failing eyes. “My head…”

“I know,” Harley said quickly, his panic crystal clear. “Don’t worry, okay? I’ll take care of it!”

Before Jade could ask how the hell they would do that, they were hauling him to his unsteady feet and rushing him out the stage door. Jade allowed himself to be led forward, not trusting whatever would happen if he resisted or let go. 

The two of them made it outside. Under the natural light of windows, Harley stopped, studying Jade with keener focus. “How are you feeling?” 

Jade blinked away the sunbeams that were burning white hot holes into his sight. “Fuck stars,” he said, because that was the only thing his mind would let him.

Judging by Harley’s baffled face, it was the wrong thing to say. “That’s not an answer, and it makes no sense!” He scanned the area, before settling on something. “In here!” 

Harley pushed through a nearby bathroom door, setting Jade against a wall. 

Only then did Jade feel the sticky wetness dripping from his head. Tentatively, he raised a hand to the spot. 

“Don’t touch!” Harley warned, already fiddling with his emergency cleanup kit. “I told you, I'll take care of it!”

Oh. So that was what they meant earlier. Of course Harley had been talking about the wound and not… whatever else was happening there.

Jade’s heart finally slowed. The sensation of warmth returned as Harley wiped off the blood and pressed a bandage to the wound. As was routine by now, the two of them let the comfortable silence engulf the adrenaline. 

Then, as always, Harley broke it. “Jade…” they began softly.

“I know!” Jade snapped back on instinct. Then, quieter, “I didn’t want... you shouldn’t have had to see that.”

Harley shook his head. “That’s not the point. You jumped in so fast, you hurt yourself and…” His frown carried quiet concern, instantly evaporating every ounce of residual anger in Jade. “It never even crossed your mind to stop, did it?”

Jade looked down at his hands. No. But I’m sick, his first thought protested. I haven’t gotten any sleep. Kiren was pissing me off. None of the excuses left his throat; Harley wouldn’t stand for them, and they barely scratched the surface anyway. 

Harley grabbed his bag, rummaging inside for something. “I need to check in with the rest of the assembly. You should go home.”

“But…” Jade trailed off, realizing there was no reason to stay the rest of the shitty day. He’d only come because it didn’t count as skipping if he never showed up at all, and what had showing up gotten him?

“There we go.” Harley smiled, reading his mind in that unnerving best friend way they always did, knowing they'd won the argument. They pushed a folded raincoat into Jade’s hands. “Here. In case rain surprises you on the way back.”

“Uh…”

They rolled their eyes. “What, you’re too cool for pink now?”

“If I was, I wouldn’t be here with you,” Jade said. “Is it going to rain today?”

“Who knows at this point? It’s just best if you don’t take chances. It already gave you this weird cold.”

Jade didn’t argue. 

On the bicycle ride back home, he lagged behind his usual pace and looked up at the sun practically out of habit. He’d done it ever since the “black sun” incident that freaked everyone’s shit and dominated the news five days ago. Well, the sun definitely wasn’t black now. Despite the clouds surrounding it, the beams shone on, hurting Jade’s eyes even more than usual. If he squinted, the dark rings surrounding it seemed to return, sending a shiver down his spine. It took a single blink to dispel the imagined return, and yet…

Fuck this shit, Jade decided, and continued on his way. 

There was no point thinking about this bullshit on a sick brain that was probably one bad day away from imploding, unless he wanted to prove people like Kiren right. 

[w0rmsprite]

style stuff

today was my first day of high skewl.. pretty fun...

[sheena-is-a-punk-rocker]

Being sick sucks, but at least it involves matzo ball soup

Just a super fluffy quinnflag sick fic for y’all! 

Rick wakes up to the sound of Harley hacking up a lung beside him.

“If you're gonna die, please do it quieter,” he mumbles, still half asleep.

It's at this point where Harley would normally punch him and tell him to fuck off but instead she sniffs and says pathetically, “I don't feel good.”

That makes him pause. When Harley's sick she never admits it. Instead she powers through it and acts like everything is completely normal. That tells him this isn't an everyday run of the mill cold.

“You okay, Harls?” he asks, suddenly concerned.

“No!” she complains, before having another coughing fit. She sounds congested and miserable. “I feel like I'm gonna puke.”

He reaches over to feel her forehead. She's burning up. He makes a move to get out of bed but she reaches a hand out to stop him.

“Don't go!” she whines.

“You've got a fever, Harls. I'll be right back.”

She reluctantly lets go of him and he makes his way to the medicine cabinet. As he rummages around for the Tylenol he makes a mental checklist of what he'll need to keep her comfortable.

When he gets back he finds that Harley has stolen his spot on the bed and cocooned herself in the blankets. She reaches a hand out from the pile. “Snuggle with me.”

“Harls, you're gonna overheat.”

“Nah, I'm freezing. And besides, I missed ya.”

“I was only gone for five minutes,” he reminds her with a chuckle, as he slips under the mountain of blankets with her.

He hands her two pills and gets her to sit up enough for her to take them with the glass of water he has ready. Once that's done she lays back down and curls up against his side—legs tangling with his and one arm thrown across his chest. He wraps an arm around her and pulls her close.

He immediately starts sweating. He's already a human space heater, according to Harley, and they're covered in at least three blankets. He can't help but hope she falls asleep so he can escape. Luckily it doesn't take long.

Once Harley is snoring away softly, Rick tries to carefully extricate himself from the tangle of blankets and limbs. He doesn't get very far before Harley is tightening her grip around his waist.

“Where're ya goin'?” she whines, still half asleep.

“I was gonna go get you food,” he admits. “And some other essentials.”

She perks up. “Oooh, can ya get me an egg sandwich?”

He sighs. “Harls, you literally just told me you feel like you're gonna puke. You're not getting an egg sandwich.”

She huffs and tightens her grip on him further. “Fine, then ya can't leave.”

He chuckles softly. “I was going to get you some matzo ball soup from that Jewish deli you're obsessed with but if you don't want that...”

She peeks up at him. “The one down the street?”

“That's the one.”

She thinks for a minute before loosening her hold on him. “Okay, fine, you can go. But ya better bring me back a knish while you're out.”

“Matzo ball soup and a knish, got it,” he says as he slips out of bed and goes to the dresser to find a shirt to wear.

As he's pulling the garment over his head he hears Harley tsk and say, “Ya know, it really should be illegal for you to have to wear a shirt.”

He blushes but doesn't respond. Before he heads out he goes back to the bed so he can kiss her forehead. As he's leaning down, she suddenly grabs him by the shirt and pulls him towards her to give him a proper kiss. He dodges it at the last second.

She pouts. “Aww, I can't even get a kiss before ya leave?”

He kisses her forehead. “Normally, yes, but you don't want both of us to be sick, do you?”

Harley just grumbles in response and rolls over—burrowing further under the mountain of blankets.

------

Rick's back an hour and a half later with Harley's soup and knish (that the owner—a little old Jewish grandma—had thrown in for free). He makes his way to the kitchen and puts the soup in a bowl before carrying it to the bedroom.

He stifles a laugh at the sight that greets him. The medicine has obviously kicked in because Harley's kicked off all the blankets. She's sprawled out on the bed and her hair is a sweaty mess.

He sets the bowl of soup on the nightstand and shakes her gently.

She rolls over with a groan and says, “I feel gross.”

He reaches over to feel her forehead. Her skin feels clammy and cold.

“Want me to run you a bath?” he asks.

She perks up. “You'd do that?”

“Of course, Harls.” He gets up from the bed and tells her, “Eat your soup.”

He's just getting the bath started when he hears a loud “Fuck!” coming from the bedroom.

He rolls his eyes and calls back, “Did you burn your mouth?”

There's silence for several seconds before Harley answers back, “Maybe.”

She's done with her soup by the time he comes back to the bedroom to take her to the bath. He grabs the bowl and sets it aside before moving to scoop her up so he can carry her.

She shoves him away and insists, “I can do it myself!”

She gets herself out of bed and then promptly stumbles and runs into his chest. He laughs and holds her close. “Feeling dizzy?”

She pouts but admits, “Maybe a little.”

She lets him pick her up this time without protest.

They're halfway to the bathroom when Harley suddenly grabs his chin and squints. And then starts cackling once she sees the lipstick stain that's been left on his cheek.

He sighs. “Bubbie says hi.”

Bubbie is the little Jewish grandma who runs the deli. She's basically adopted Harley and they both highly suspect she's punched at least two Nazis based on the way she runs her restaurant.

He sets her on her feet once they reach the bathroom and starts helping her undress.

“Couldn't wait to get me naked, could ya?” she flirts, as he's on his knees helping her out of her underwear.

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head but doesn't respond. He presses his lips to her bare stomach before standing back up.

She rolls up on her toes and leans against his chest. His hands automatically go to her waist. He notices the mischievous glint in her eye and knows exactly what's going through her head. She goes in for a kiss and he turns his head so her lips catch his cheek instead.

“Aww, still no kiss?” she complains.

He kisses her nose. “Not while you're still sick.”

“But I'm horny!” she whines.

He snorts. “Harley, you can't even stand up on your own right now.”

She just pouts in response.

He sighs and points to the bathtub. She takes the hint and carefully steps over the edge and lowers herself into the water. She immediately lets out a content sigh.

“Better?” he asks.

“Much better!”

She lays back to get her hair wet and then reaches for the shampoo. He grabs it before she can and says, “Want some help?”

She nods in response and he squirts some soap into his hands. She moans softly as his nails scratch her scalp. Once he's done lathering, he urges her to lay back so she can rinse it out. He does the same thing with her conditioner and then they just sit there in comfortable silence.

He notices the mischievous look on her face too late. Before he can react, Harley's grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him into a sloppy kiss.

Rick doesn't pull away immediately—he's missed kissing her as much as she has, after all. But eventually his brain catches up to his body and he breaks the kiss.

“Harley, what the fuck?” he protests.

She rolls her eyes and laughs. “Calm your tits, you'll be fine!”

He can't help but be skeptical as her laughter morphs into a coughing fit.

He grumbles and takes his wet shirt off. Harley's breath hitches and she says, “It's not fair how jacked ya are! How's a girl supposed to focus when she's got this to look at?” She gestures to his torso.

He blushes, still not quite used to her comments about his body. As she once told him, he “doesn't know he's hot.” Before he can respond, she adds, “I wanna climb ya like a fuckin' tree.”

He gets an idea—he's decided he needs to get back at her for that surprise kiss. He smirks and dips his hand into the water and settles it on her thigh. As he trails his fingers higher, he rasps in her ear, “And you'll get the opportunity to do just that real soon.” She bites her lip and tips her head back—he's so close to where she wants him. She lets out a whine as his hand suddenly disappears. “But,” he continues, “not until you're better.”

He laughs at the glare Harley shoots his way, along with a middle finger. He kisses her forehead and asks, “Ready to get out of the tub?”

She nods and he reaches over to grab a towel. He helps her stand and once she steps out of the tub he wraps her in a towel. She lets out a yawn and leans against his chest as he dries her off. Once her hair is toweled off, he wraps her up and scoops her into his arms. She's practically asleep again by the time they reach the bedroom.

He sets her down on the bed and goes to the dresser to find one of his shirts for her to wear. He makes her take some cold medicine and then he's ushering her under the covers. He goes back to the bathroom to clean up and when he comes back, Harley is cocooned under a (much more reasonable) single blanket, fast asleep.

She stirs as he slides under the covers with her. He curls up behind her and says, “It's just me, Harls. Go back to sleep.”

---------

They spend the next two days like that—curled up in bed together, with Rick only leaving to get her food and medicine.

On day three, Rick wakes up feeling like he's been hit by a truck. As he hacks up a lung he glares at Harley, who's looking extremely guilty.

“Sorry?” she offers.

He gives her a middle finger in response.

“Well,” he rasps, “looks like we're both useless now.”

Harley perks up. “Movie date on the couch?”

He can't help but smile. He can never stay mad at her for long. “Movie date sounds great.”

He helps her gather up the blankets to take out to the living room. He parks his ass on the couch and wraps himself in a comforter while she gets a movie started. He holds his arm out and envelopes her in the blanket with him once she joins him on the couch.

They're both asleep before the opening credits roll.