#incorrect peter

[peter-parkers-left-pinky]

*Natasha teaching Peter to drive and taking Y/n along for the ride*

Natasha: That's a pothole. To the left!

Peter: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*

Y/n, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.

Peter: I don't think that's how the song goes.

Natasha, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.

Peter: Country Roads.

Y/n: To the place.

Peter and Y/n in unison: I Belong!

Natasha, crying harder: What the fuck?

[marvel-lous-guy]

Peter: do you ever wonder about whose 'it'?

Tony: what? What do you mean 'it'?

Peter: well, some of us are still 'it' from a game of tag

Peter: the only way a game of tag truly stops is if the person who is 'it' dies

Tony: okay, 1: that got real morbid real fast. And 2: that fucked me up way more than it should have

[monster-cock69]

save a car, ride a mechanic ~~ Peter Parker 2022

[fromjannah]

ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE + memes/text posts (1/?)

[marvelomadness06]

Remus: James… why do you have bite marks on your arms?

James: *sweating nervously* OH- oh, Urm I was babysitting my little cousin and- and he bites. haha.

Remus: *raises one eyebrow*

Sirius: *sympathetic* That sucks mate. Reggie was a fucking biter too- reckon I’ve still got scars from the little shit.

James: *quietly squeaks*

Remus: *raises the other eyebrow*

James: … I’ve got to go *absolutely bolts*

Sirius: what was that about?

Remus: *sighs* It would appear that you and James have the same cousin.

[welovelouisandbucky]

Me: *gets periods* *sighs*

Also me: *searches x reader period fics on Tumblr/ao3*

[moonytoastx]

Regulus: "Your eyes are red. Are you high again?"

Barty, imitating Regulus: "ArE yOu HiGH AGaIN?"

Barty: "No, bitch. I've been crying.

Regulus:

Regulus: "Oh."

[youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff]

Dick, at the police station: hi, i'm here for jason.

officer: last name?

Dick : .....ah. you must be new.

[cardinalcheerio]

I have a headcannon that at some point in his early robin days, Jason decided he wanted to be like Alfred and committed to drinking tea, using British slang and the accent while being robin.

This obviously confused the rogues a lot.

Fighting Mr. Freeze:

Jason: aye, what in the bloody hell do you think your doin? (Horrible British and gotham accent mix)

Freeze: I am- wait. Robin? Are you ok?

Bats: it's a phase. Just ignore it.

Freeze: keep forgetting he's a kid... anyways-

[redadidassneakers]

Dorcas: who was your first kiss?

Sirius: Remus

James: Remus

Lily: Remus

Mary: Remus

Barty: Remus

Peter: Remus

Regulus: Remus

Dorcas: Remus, you little slut

Sirius: you kissed my brother?!

Remus: uhhh

[billi-mausi]

James: Regulus kissed me!

Sirius(excited): NO!

Peter: OH my god oh my god oh my god!

James(dreamy sighing): It was unbelievable.

Peter: Oh my god oh my god!

Remus: Okay alright! We wanna hear everything! Peter get the wine, James, does this end well or do we need tissues?

James: Oh it ended very well.

Peter(hurrying with the glasses): DON'T start without me! Don't start!

Sirius: Okay let's hear about the kiss!

__________________________________________

Meanwhile

Regulus: And then I kissed him.

Barty: Tongue?

Regulus: Yeah.

Dorcas: Cool.

Barty, Evan, Dorcas & Pandora (nodding and going back to their pizza):

[peter-parkers-left-pinky]

Peter: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water?

Y/n: Because your toast would get soggy!

[marvel-lous-guy]

Peter: *on the phone* Hey Mister Stark! I have some news!

Tony: What happened kid?

Peter: Well, remember when you told me not to burn down the compound?

Tony: You burned down the compound!?

Peter: No! I put out the fire almost immediately! This is a success story!

[number1abbasupporter]

Sirius: i’m gay

James: that’s cool mate

James: everyone has gay thoughts though

Remus:

Peter:

Sirius:

Remus: boy do i have news for you

[fromjannah]

ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE + the onion headlines (2/?)

[doctorwhoincorrectquotes]