Has Bruce ever packed the kids lunch when Alfred wasn't there? How'd it go?
[Wayne Enterprises]
Tim: Finally, time for my break.
Tim: *opens his mini fridge*
*dozens of apples fall out*
———————
[the library]
Steph: *chugs a gallon of milk*
Cass: *bites into a bread loaf*
Barbara: I'm not even gonna ask.
———————
[day patrol]
Duke: *opens his lunchbox*
Duke: *sighs*
Duke: *pulls out his bat-skillet*
Duke: *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg—*
———————
[West-Reeve Middle School]
Damian: Kent, I will trade you your cupcake for this head of lettuce.
Jon: ...
Jon: Deal.
———————
[Bludhaven]
Jason: Bruce packed our lunches. He said we're supposed to share.
Jason: *hands him a bag*
Dick: What'd you get?
Jason: A frozen turkey. You?
Dick: *opens it*
*fire alarm goes off*
9K notes
·
View notes
Damian being a gen alpha implies in gen alpha Jon too ...
[at a sleepover]
Damian, whispering: Jon?
Jon: Yeah?
Damian: Our planet is doomed.
Jon: Yeah, it is.
Jon: Wanna sneak downstairs for snacks?
Damian: Sure.
———————
Steph, as a Batburger cashier: Sorry ma'am, that product was discontinued months ago.
Jon: *secretly starts recording*
Margie: You didn't even bother to check! What kind of lazy service is this? No wonder the world is the way it is with your generation. I should call the corporate hotline right now and report you for refusing to serve a paying customer. See how you like it when you lose your job.
Damian: Hey Karen, she said they don't have it anymore. Either get something else or leave. Some of us have places to be.
Margie: And who do you think you are?
Damian, pointing to Jon's camera: The best friend of someone with 150,000 followers.
Jon: Say hi to the internet!
———————
Damian and Jon: *putting up hand-drawn posters around town*
Comm. Gordon: What are you kids doing?
Damian: Advertising our joint channel.
Jon: We're gonna have an epic Cheese Viking and Fortnite mashup tournament.
Damian: Proceeds go to the Wayne Foundation.
Comm. Gordon: *scribbles a note and hands it to them*
Comm. Gordon: If anyone asks you for a permit, it's on me.
———————
Damian and Jon: *huddled around the Batcomputer*
Jon: I think we should sort it by distance instead.
Damian, typing code: Good idea.
Barbara: What's that?
Jon: Our new website.
Damian: It allows people to report stray animals they see without the risk that comes with physical contact.
Barbara: Oh, cool. Carry on.
———————
Kara: What do you want to drink?
Jon: Mountain Dew. Dami, you want one?
Damian: Depends. Is it vegan?
Kara: *starts typing into Google*
Jon: Hey Alexa, is Mountain Dew vegan?
———————
[texting]
Jon: Dami, get on Discord.
Damian: Why?
Jon: Live-action One Piece streaming in the Gay Minecraft server.
———————
Jon: Ms. Kyle, check it out!
Selina: What is it?
Damian: TikTok added a set of Catwoman stickers.
Selina: Show me.
———————
Kate: I still think you are far too young for things like Instagram.
Damian and Jon: *snicker*
Kate: What?
Jon: Well, Ms. Kane, how should we put it...
Damian: No one uses Instagram anymore.
———————
Jon: *takes a 0.5 of him and Damian with Dick in the background*
Damian: You're in our BeReal now. Deal with it.
Dick: What's a BeReal?
———————
Damian, handing Jon a rock: I would like to buy this playhouse.
Jon: Too bad, the economy just disappeared.
Lois: What are you doing?
Jon: We're playing Society.
———————
Damian: Alfred, we're hungry.
Alfred, on the phone: *makes the thumb and pinky gesture and mouths "I'm busy"*
Jon: Huh?
Alfred: I'm on the phone, boys.
Damian: I think he meant this.
Damian: *puts his palm to his ear*
———————
Jon: Parkour!
Jon: *hops over a log*
Jon: Parkour!
Jon: *climbs a tree*
Damian: *recording*
Clark, to Bruce: That's one way to play.
Bruce: Mhm.
Clark: Do you ever get worried about, you know, how these kids are turning out?
Jon: Parkou—
Damian: Wait, stop, there's a bird's egg here. I wonder what species it is.
Jon: I have an app that can scan it.
Bruce, to Clark: I think they're gonna be alright.
2K notes
·
View notes