#can you tell i love selina?

[dangerousdan-dan]

This one's by far one of my favorite Batman and Catwoman stories

Date Knight by Darwyn Cooke and Tim Sale

[thwackk]

my brother asked me to create my own interpretation of catwoman because i seem to have “so many issues with so many of her designs” his words, not mine

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason is a hopeless romantic 100%

it just doesnt show

But everyone goes to him whn its time to plan dates

Dick: Hey, can I ask you something?

Jason, reading: No.

Dick: You see, Wally and I have our weekly date night coming up, but we've been to pretty much every place there is. You got any ideas for how to shake things up?

Jason: *scribbles coordinates and tosses him the Bat-plane keys*

[later]

Wally: Wow, I've never been to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Dick: I'm glad you like it.

Dick: *texts Jason a thumbs up*

Jason: *read at 8:55 PM*

———————

Tim: Jason, glad you're here! I totally forgot it's me and Bernard's six-month anniversary. Help me out, man.

Jason, clipping his toenails: Fine. You better write this down 'cause I'm only saying it once.

Tim: *nods*

Jason: Go to Home Depot. You're gonna need some rope, a tarp, hammer and nails, a hatchet, matches, and fuel. After that...

Tim: *furiously takes notes*

[later]

Bernard: A camping trip was a great idea. It's nice to get away from it all. And I can't believe you set this all up yourself.

Tim, chuckling nervously: What's a boyfriend for if not to build a tent and chop down a tree?

———————

Duke: So the school dance is coming up.

Jason, working: Theme?

Duke: Under the sea.

Jason: Ugh, how cliché. Anyway, Armand's Tailoring has a blue suit that'll match whatever your girlfriend's wearing. Tell him I sent you. After that, call Patricia's Bistro and make a reservation with the code word "surreptitious." Alfred can take you in the limo if you give him a 24-hour heads-up to clean it. Once you're there, remind the DJ he owes me a favor to get your song requests bumped up. And remember, a slow dance is basically moving your feet in a square but otherwise go with the flow.

Duke: Sweet, thanks!

———————

Cass: Steph is sad.

Jason, cooking: *sighs*

Jason: *takes out a tub of ice cream*

Jason: *scoops a hole in the middle*

Jason: *fills it with candy*

Jason: Here.

Cass: Thanks!

———————

*phone rings*

Jason, waking up from a nap: What?

Kory: Sorry if I woke you. Barbara's coming over for breakfast in half an hour but I burned it with my powers. It was supposed to be eggs benedict.

Jason: Order takeout and put it on fancy plates.

Kory: You're a lifesaver—

Jason: *already hung up and went back to sleep*

———————

Kate: It's Renee's birthday tomorrow. I have a gift, but I'm not sure if it's good enough.

Jason, polishing his gun: If it's from you, it will be.

———————

Bruce: *walks in*

Bruce: Hey, son. Selina's not talking to me after our argument. How do I tell her how much she means to me?

Jason, reciting Shakespeare: I know no ways to mince it in love, but directly to say, "I love you."

Bruce: You're right. I'm just gonna tell it to her straight. Thank you.

Bruce: *leaves*

Jason: *takes off his headphones and turns around*

Jason: Did someone say something?

———————

Damian: Todd, what is love supposed to feel like?

Jason: Why do you want to know?

Damian: None of your concern. Now tell me.

Jason: *shoots a training dummy*

Jason: It's when they're lodged in your head like a bullet. Except without the excruciating pain and messy red stuff.

Damian, nodding: Tell me more.

———————

Roy: *takes down a villain*

Jason, sitting on a roof: *wolf whistles*

Roy: The hell?

Jason: I know hot when I see it.

Roy: What are you doing here?

Jason: I brought Arrowdogs.

Roy: You hate Arrowdogs.

Jason: But you don't.

Roy: Aw, how sweet—EYES UP HERE, TODD!

[thebibliosphere]

What do you think of the Telltale Batman games?

I went into it a bit on this post a while back (spoilers for the ending in the final reblog chain). But in quick summary:

Lots of fun. Well worth buying when it goes on sale.

Really love how much humor Bruce is allowed. His undercover persona as a dirtbag billionaire turning into a crime lord is a lot of fun.

Bruce and Selina get on like a house on fire with all the expected casualties of a house fire in Gotham.

Harley Quinn mob boss: YES YES YES

The game really said, 'BatJokes otp <3333'

ID: Two screenshots from the Batman: The Enemy Within Telltale game. Both screenshots depict a nighttime background in the city of Gotham. The top image shows the Joker, dressed in a green shirt dragging Batman, who is dressed in civilian clothes as Bruce Wayne, over a table by the collar of his leather jacket as he demands, “Why won’t you love me?!” while Bruce stares wide-eyed at him, lips parted in surprise.

The next image shows both men turning comically to regard a civilian at a nearby table who looks like he wants the floor to swallow him up just so he can get away from what looks like the weirdest public gay break-up going on outside the Gotham equivalent of a Starbucks at 4am.

---

I really enjoy the dialogue options you have as Bruce Wayne vs. Batman and the fact that you can play Bruce as airheaded or cunty as you like. He's either playing Bruce as a spoiled little rich boy or a well-meaning himbo with elevator music playing behind his eyes. There's no in-between.

Alfred is written out of character at the end, and it pulls the whole thing down.

I'd still play a third installment if they made one because I really want to enjoy Tell Tale style games; they just always seem to let me down a bit. But I want to believe...

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hello!

I've been getting very into DC again, from all the comics I had in my attic.

So i would like to request a "meeting the batfam" like think.

Being Bruce's new boyfriend and meeting the kids and how would they react.

Have a nice day! (You're the only think keeping me from commiting a crime/jk)

Bruce Wayne x male reader

Headcanons

Ive been on a kick lately of making half-god characters, so reader is the son of a god, hehe ^^

You were the son of Ares, a half god, and the son of a god most feared, and that the Justice league had fought many times.

So, by relation, many people didn’t trust you when they learned about your parentage. Had you been any crueler of a person, that might have driven you down a path where you followed in your fathers’ footsteps, but you weren’t.

You ended up inheriting many of his powers, even gaining his clairvoyance and precognition in dreams. Said dreams had been your first sign that you were more than just your average person, as you foresaw many of the larger disasters around the world.

There ends up being a sense of duty in your heart as your dreams keep warning you about an invasion of earth, becoming more and more detailed every night. It reaches a point where you think you are going mad.

As a last-ditch effort, you end up in Gotham, where you spend days trying to find any of the bats, just trying to find somebody to believe you. In the end, you stumble across Bruce, who probably thinks you are on something because of the less than put together state you are in.

That is until you spill everything you have been dreaming about, and how its all happened, and how this dream keeps haunting you every night.

Bruce of course listens to everything you have to say, and takes you as seriously as anything else he would. He keeps your warning in mind and gets prepared, and when your precognition comes to pass, he is ready.

From then in, Bruce passes by your place every now and then, as you end up moving to Gotham as Batman is the only hero you feel takes you seriously.

Hes the one to help you figure out your true parentage, and gets you in contact with some people who can help you deal with your new developing powers. You two end up bonding a lot, and over time, fall in love.

You both make each other feel like a full person and like you are understood. The relationship is kept quiet on Bruces end, not because he doesn’t trust his family or anything, but because he just wants to keep it to himself for a bit.

It does get a bit hard to hide the hand shaped bruises on his hips or torso when your godly strength slips out, but Bruce has lived with worse aches and bruises in his life, so its not something people notice.

You never went out of your way to become a hero, even with your godly powers. You are happy living your life and being together with Bruce, much of your stress gone since you know Bruce will believe you when it comes to your dreams.

When the day finally comes where you go to meet his family, you can’t help but feel a little nervous. Sure, you’ve met them in passing as their vigilante alter egos, when they’ve followed Bruce during his meetings with you, but this will be as Bruces lover.

Bruce is endeared by how hard you want to make a good impression, how you fuss with your hair and your clothes to be most presentable. When you ask him if you need to bring a gift or something, he just laughs a little and kisses your forehead, telling you to stop worrying as he’s sure they’ll love you.

The family all know Bruce is bringing his lover that night for family dinner, but they all don’t know who it is, even Alfred is in the dark.

They are all a bit on edge, as Bruce doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to partners. And since he didn’t tell them a name, they assume its not the people he’s normally been with, like Selina or Talia.

Imagine their surprise when Bruce arrives with you on his arm, from your civilian clothes to your sheepish smile, to you looking downright nervous to meet them as you clearly want to make a good first impression.

It might take a bit for any of them to recognize you, as only a few of them might have met you in passing, but you probably end up telling them during dinner when they ask how you and Bruce met.

I can’t see them being against you more than they would any other partner, especially when you go out of your way to use your dreams and abilities to help as many people as possible.

Cass is most likely the one to warm up to you first, as she can easily read that you are a good person who loves Bruce very much, and Cass’s approval makes the others become less tense and more open to the idea of you.

Alfred is also happy that Bruce has found someone who isn’t a criminal or assassin for once, even though they all know you could punch a guy to smithereens if you wanted too, thanks to your godly strength.

But your personality makes it clear that’s not something you want to do, so that gives you extra points in their books. They most likely use their knowledge from Diana and her parentage when it comes to you, incase you end up doing something a little too godly without realizing.

They’ve all been around many different kinds of people and beings, so I don’t think anything you do put them off. They’ll all just need time to warm up to you, and see with their own eyes that you truly do love Bruce, and that Bruce loves you back just as much.

It would take a while, as they were all trained by Bruce and are all suspicious of anybody and take forever to trust. It starts to make you think they’ll never like you, even when Bruce tells you they will, they just need time.

You know you’ve gained their trust when they start showing up in your apartment, be it after patrol, during the day, or any other time, they’re likely to just appear. This also means you end up learning a lot more first aid than you thought you’d ever need.

The last to trust you is Damian, but you can tell you scored a win when he demands you learn self-defense, as your form is horrible, and he drags you down to the cave to walk you through the basics.

Bruce feels like his heart could burst with love when he sees his family accepting you, and he couldn’t be any happier. The batfam is pretty damn happy too, as Bruce starts taking care of himself because of you.

Can’t have a date if he hasn’t slept in days, or if he’s covered in bruises or has broken bones. You probably end up spending a lot of time at the manor too, since Bruce can’t just go into town to spend time in your apartment during the day, or else the paparazzi would find out about the relationship almost immediately.

So, all in all, his kids would like you quite a lot after they got enough time to learn what kinda person you were, and what your morals were. They might even start seeing you as a safe person to go too when they need someone to talk too or just need some company.

[audhd-nightwing]

batfam and the JL as incorrect quotes

*in the batmobile*

Robin (12 y/o Dick Grayson): Have I ever told you how much I love you?

Batman: We are not stopping at McDonald's.

Robin: This is bullshit.

***

Tim: I have an idea. It's deceptive and borderline unethical.

Damian: I'm listening.

***

*at a gala*

10 y/o Dick, to Lex: It was nice meeting you!

Bruce: No, it wasn't.

Dick: We hate you!

***

Batman: What's the point of all of this?

Red Hood: Revenge!

Batman: The best revenge is living well.

Red Hood: Well, there's no chance of that.

***

Tim: So, what’s the plan?

Steph: I don’t know. You’re smart, Damian is mean, come up with something.

***

Bruce: YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME!

Clark: Wh-

Bruce: YOU'RE ESSENTIAL TO MY EXISTENCE!

Clark: Why are you screaming?!

Bruce: I HAVE DIFFICULTY EXPRESSING MYSELF! IT HELPS TO SAY SENTIMENTAL THINGS IN AN AGGRESSIVE TONE!

Clark:

Bruce: I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!

***

Dick, cradling Wally’s face lovingly: Hey. I spilled superglue on my hands.

***

*at the Watchtower*

Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): Is Batman… laughing?

Flash (Barry Allen): *nods*

Green Lantern: I’ve never been more scared in my life.

***

Jason: I know we’ve always had this unspoken rivalry.

Tim: Not a rivalry, you’re just always mean to me. And not unspoken, you talk about it all the time.

***

Harley Quinn: I did it for love!

Nightwing: Cool motive, still murder.

***

Harley: I’m not a thug, I’m a law abiding citizen!

Signal: Okay, then name one law.

Harley: Don’t kill people.

Signal: That’s on me, I set the bar too low.

***

Cass: I was thinking about how I’d make the perfect American president, based on my skill set, dance ability, and blood lust.

***

Dick: Tim, please keep an eye on Damian today. He’s gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched.

Tim: Sure, I’d love to see Damian get punched.

Dick: Try again.

Tim: ….I will stop Damian from getting punched.

***

*after a JL meeting*

Batman: Flash, can I speak to you for a minute.

Flash (Wally West): Oooooh, someone’s in trouble!

Batman:

Flash: It’s me. I don’t know why I did that.

***

Hal: And, once again, Green Lantern and the Flash save the day!

Diana: You didn’t do anything. It was all Barry.

Hal: We’re a package deal. Everyone knows that.

***

Nightwing and Red Hood: *looking at a suspicious stain*

Red Hood: Gasoline? I’m pretty sure that’s water. Well, only one way to tell.

Red Hood: *lights a match and sets the stain on fire*

Nightwing: There were definitely more ways to tell!

***

Bruce: I tried to acknowledge her feelings. It wasn’t easy. There were a lot of them.

[earlier that day]

Selina: I’m just so confused- Are you… are you climbing out the window?

Bruce: *halfway out the window*

Bruce:

Bruce: No.

***

*at a bar*

Jason: Thanks for the advice. I gotta go.

Roy: Um, aren’t you forgetting something?

Jason:

Jason: *hesitates before awkwardly kissing him on the forehead*

Roy: No! Pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

[tearful-bat]

Batfamily love language headcanons

All memebers of Batfamily x reader

word count:608

Bruce Wayne

Gift giving: Bruce is busy being batman and what not so he doesn't really have time to spend with you, also he's pretty closed off with his emotions so I can’t see him giving words of affirmation so he probably just makes up for not being with you a lot by sending and buying you lots of expensive gifts

Dick Grayson 

words of affirmation: When he's busy protecting Bludhaven he’ll send you cute messages whiles he's working

physical touch: after he gets back from it he’ll just hug you until you both eventually fall asleep 

Tim drake

gift giving: like Bruce is pretty busy so will also just send you lots of mostly useless expensive gifts 

physical touch: won’t out right ask you for physical affection but secretly craves it

Jason Todd 

quality time: just likes having you presence there while he's doing things like reading or working on case files 

physical touch: like Tim he craves physical affection but won’t ask 

Damian Wayne

quality time: just generally likes hanging around with you even if you’re just doing stuff in comfortable silence 

Gift giving: probably will occasionally buy you expensive gifts but I can also see him giving you paintings he's painted or if he goes abroad he’ll ll bring you back something 

physical touch: probably won’t ask, maybe would motion for you to do it by holding out his hand and stuff but would kind of expect you to do it and if you didn’t he’d get all pouty 

Duke Thomas 

words of affirmation: loves to tell you how much he loves you is kinda cheesy and if you do it back he gets really giddy 

acts of service: if you ask him to do anything he’ll do it no questions asked 

Cassandra Cain

Acts of service: Cassandra isn’t good at telling you how much she loves you so she shows it through he actions

Physical touch: if your walking together somewhere will hold your hand the whole time. Will come to your apartment after her patrol and after you patch her up will hold you for the whole night until you have to leave for work/ school.

Stephanie brown

Words of affirmation: like Dick she’ll send you messages during her patrol and will also compliment any outfit you wear

Quality time: just randomly shows up to your apartment to spend time with you even if it’s during her patrol.

Physical touch: if you are both together chances are she’s either hugging you or holding your hand

Barbara Gordon

Quality time: just likes spending time with you. Will invite you to stay in the clock tower with her while she’s working as oracle she finds your presence comforting and relies on you to tell her to take a break from the computer

Acts of service: she already does lots for the batfamily as oracle so if you asked her to do something she’d be on it for you

Kate Kane

Gift giving: will leave sweet little gifts at your doorstep

Harper Row

Gift giving: will make gadgets for you as gifts

Quality time : just like’s casually hanging out with you maybe playing video games together or something

Selina Kyle

Gift giving: will gift you stuff she’s stolen or if you say you like something in a shop window or something will go out and steal it for you

Words of affirmation: like Stephanie she’ll compliment all your outfits and tease you a lot

Physical touch: when she comes home from being catwoman likes to fall asleep in her bed with you

Helena Bertinelli 

acts of service: you ask her to do something for you and she’ll do it 

[bruciemilf]

No Capes! AU where Bruce and everyone else is an actor.

Famous Hollywood moguls Thomas and Martha would've rather died in real life than make Bruce a child actor so he didn't start till he was 24

It's an ongoing gag that Thomas always tweets "On my way to die again! As if you didn't know" with every Gray Ghost remake

The Waynes are always just. So chaotic

Bruce and Selina constantly bring stray cats on set; Bruce just hides them under his black shirt famously known as a void with no end.

Behind the Scenes cuts have images of this man pulling 10 cats from under there and the director is convinced he has a cryptid on set

They have to edit so much footage because Bruce always says "sorry" after "punching" someone. "Bruce, they have padding, they're fine!" "And no health Insurance. Do something about that."

Sometimes he forgets to take off the costume after filming. The record set for how many Subways he sent into a panic is infinite

That being said, Bruce's kids aren't afraid of him at all, and WILL run up to him everytime they visit to chant "dork! Dork! Dork!" While flocking around him. He cries from happiness

But he cries all the time, so it's hard to tell for what

The movie's soundtrack is just Bruce's middle school playlist, " They said they needed something rotten and terrible, like, -- poison for the ears. If you listen to it you get sick."

Bruce's biggest "diva moment" was refusing to give up the eyeliner and he still sends apology cards to the cast and crew for his " horrible behavior"

"He just kinda said no a bit loud and ran out of the studio while sobbing quietly."

Literally every villain on set is a sweetheart. Selina does her own make-up as well as Bruce's and Oz's and you can see Carmine lurking like a little gobling behind them just to scare her

There's this joke that none of Selina's streams ever go well because the crew is her curse. She's trying to talk about how to steal on set, meanwhile, Bruce next to her, "Did you know cats have no collarbone. Also, the electric chair was invented by a dentist."

You'd think everyone's favorite duo would be Bruce and Selina, and you wouldn't be wrong, but the public can't wait for Bruce and Carmine to have a press conference or interview together

Mostly because Carmine obviously dealt some shady cards in his past and Bruce is so clueless . " Have I ever tried coke...No, I like Pepsi." While Carmine is trying not to laugh behind him

Edward is just as bad. He's trying to tell the director that's not how bombs are made, and someone's head exploding wouldn't look like that, and Bruce is like :O Eddie, I didn't know you were a gamer

Edward is a menace on set and Bruce stays blind to it because he like him. There's rows of videos of Bruce stopping mid scene, going " Eddie," before jumping on the guy like the kitten he's NOT

Alfred still brings Bruce lunch and snacks and he throws down with Oz for no reason. He always brings the kids (read; they sneak in) and it's very clear they're not getting any shooting done that day

Dick, age 10, impatiently asks why Gray Ghost can't have a sidekick. In the last moments of the movie Dick runs in, improvises a scene with Bruce, and the fans love him too much not to include him after

You just leave Bruce alone when his babies are on set; Damian is strapped to his chest cause he's so small that everyone almost steps on him, Jason is giving the writers tip, Tim is taking pics of everyone, and Bruce smothers them with kisses constantly

[phoenixkaptain]

DC is so silly because none of them can agree on what Batman’s motivation actually is.

Like, does this guy only care about Gotham City? Is he obsessed with keeping this one specific city safe? Is obsessed to the point that he’s willing to risk other people’s lives in the pursuit of justice?

Or, does he care about other people? Alfred, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, even Selina. Is he obsessed with keeping his loved ones safe? Is he obsessed with keeping Gotham safe because he wants the people in Gotham to be safe?

Does he train Robin out of a desire for a soldier or a need to cling to a thread of humanity? Does he keep Alfred employed primarily because Alfred is good at keeping secrets or because he trusts Alfred to keep his secrets? Does he ever love any of the women he dates, Selina included, or does he see them as another part of his disguise?

What is Batman’s motivation? What is he feeling at any given time in a story? What keeps him going when the nights drag on endlessly? What makes him get out of bed? What makes him take care of himself so that he can take care of it? Is it Gotham, or is it the people in Gotham?

And honestly, the answer is all of the above. The writers don’t agree on the answer, so the answer is that all apply. Batman would die for Gotham, Batman would die for Robin, Batman would die for Alfred. Batman wants to protect Gotham more than anything. Batman finds that he wants to protect Robin and Alfred and those he loves even more than Gotham. Batman views Robin as a soldier to be kept at arm’s length. Batman views Robin as his son and loves him like a father would.

It affects everything that Batman touches, this inconclusive motivation. Batman views the Justice League as his friends, his family even. Batman never gets close to any members of the Justice League because he only views them as associates and nothing more.

Batman can be conceivably anything. His motivation can become anything. Because his motivation is set up and reset and reset and reset- his motivation, what he cares about, it can be basically whatever you want. Whatever the writers want.

And this is why you have people hate Batman because he’s cold and uncaring and nigh abusive. You have people who love Batman because he thaws for those he loves and is kind and caring. You have people who like Batman because he’s good with children. You have people who like Batman because he’s awkward and doesn’t even know how to hold a child.

All of these versions have been portrayed, and sometimes multiple versions are portrayed in the same comic line. Batman lets Robin tease him and misses Robin when they’re apart, but he also gets mad at Robin for something that he has to know isn’t Robin’s fault. Batman is cold and distant to Robin but also says he trusts Robin as much as he trusts himself. Batman doesn’t know what Tim’s family life is like because he doesn’t feel it’s important, as long as it doesn’t affect Tim’s work, and he also asks Tim to tell him about his family’s situation because he sees himself in Tim and wants to offer comfort.

These are all Batman, but are also not Batman. Because the writers want you to view Batman as whatever they’re portraying him as in that one specific comic. What is Batman like? Well, it depends on the comic issue, not the comic series.

I like to focus on Bruce having interests and cares outside of Gotham alone. I like writing him as having friends he trusts and kids he loves. Because this is more interesting to me than the Bruce who is cold and uncaring. But, I also understand that this isn’t the only way he’s portrayed. This is the way I perceive him, the way I read all of his comics and the reason why I can make excuses for his actions that others find objectionable or unforgivable.

My way of reading Bruce isn’t the right or wrong way to do so, because there is no wrong way to read Bruce’s character. He’s genuinely been portrayed as just about all the versions you can find. And of course people exaggerate, they worsen him or (in my case) make him better. Which isn’t wrong either.

Batman is both a loving and a distant father. Batman both cares only for Gotham and has interests beyond Gotham. Batman has no friends and a few close friends. Batman is serious and dark and brooding and Batman is silly and playful and pretending to be emotionless. The writers don’t agree, the fans don’t agree, no one agrees so Batman is a nebulous character of clear motives only when it suits the narrative he’s engaged in.

[confused-wanderer]

Incorrect batfam quotes as things I’ve heard as a college student that definitely fit them:

—

Dick: Stop copying me!

Jason: StOp CoPyInG mE!

Dick: Oh my god you’re so annoying

Jason: oh my god you’re so annoying

Dick: I love you

Jason:

Dick: Say it bro

Jason: *booking it to the door*

Dick : SAY IT BACK MOTHERFUCK-

—

Barbara: .. wait I’m lost now

Stephanie: Girl I’ve been lost a long time ago

—

*while the batboys are doing laundry*

Dick: .. hey Jason?

Jason: yeah?

Dick: I put money and my clothes in the washing machine but it won’t start. Could you try?

Jason *stares at it and gently pries the door open before slamming it shut with such force that it swings open again*

Dick: DONT BREAK IT I PAID FOR THIS MAN

Jason: Hold on lemme try some- *swings harder*

Tim: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IDIOT ??

Washer *beeps and starts washing*

—

Duke: ah.. such a peaceful day and gorgeous vie-

*hears screaming in the distance*

Duke: Aaand we’re walking-

—

Tim: I’m sorry but could you tell me how to spell your name? I’m trying to save your contact.

Damian: It doesn’t matter.

Tim: Of course it does! I just want to make sure I spell it right.

Damian: No, seriously. It doesn’t matter how you spell it. That’s not even my real name.

—

Jason and Damian having breakfast in silence at a restaurant

Damian: so I have a knife in my room.

—

Bruce: And there’s this girl in the bathroom who’s been crying there for hours! And I don’t even know who it is, I can just see her shoes

Selina : Wait let’s check it out

Bruce: .. isn’t that an invasion of her privacy?

Selina: you’re no fun… I wonder what’s going on

Bruce: well she was talking to her friend about *insert very oddly specific rant about every microscopic detail*

Selina:

Bruce: ? What?

Selina: ..and youre trashing me for tryna find out who it is.

Bruce: Hey I was debating if I should call out and ask her if she was okay

Selina: Mhmm. Nosy. Imma go check-

Bruce: I have to fill my bottle anyways so I guess I’ll join..

— later —

Harley: and then what happened?

Selina: This mf was waiting for me outside while I found out and then I shooed him away to fill his bottle. And then we both watched as he placed it under the tap only for it to immediately start overflowing

Harley *howling with laughter*

Bruce: IT WAS HALF- EMPTY

Selina: It was FULL

Bruce: ..you’re exaggerating

Selina: Girl be for real you’re just as nosy as I am, that’s why we get along so well~

———————————————————————-

[thealtoduck]

My Little Love

Selina Kyle x Son!Reader

Bruce Wayne x Son!Reader

Warnings: Fluff…

BatCat!Bro Masterlist

Summary: Bruce finds out you snuck out again alone at night and decides to follow you…

——

Bruce had just finished up his patrolling for the night when he got a call from Alfred. ”Master Bruce, you wouldn’t happen to know Master Y/n’s wherabouts?” He questioned. ”I thought he was at home, didn’t he say he’d be studying” Bruce said.

”Apparently not, his window was open and we suspect he snuck out again” Alfred explained. Bruce let out an annoyed huff and said ”Track his phone and send me the location”. Bruce made his way to the Batmobile as Alfred sent him the data.

Your location showed on the Batmobile’s map, you were inside a bus and it was moving, Bruce started the car and drove to follow you. The map showed you were on a bridge leading out of Gotham, Bruce wondered what you wee up too. He sped up the car and drove towards the bridge.

After driving for a while he saw your icon had stopped on the map, it had stopped next to an old gas station. Meaning you must’ve gotten off the bus there. Soon Bruce arrived and parked the Batmobile in the gas station parking and got out, you were nowhere in sight.

He walked around the corner of the closed station where he found you, leaning against a wall, back turned to him. Bruce silently made his way behind you and placed a hand on your shoulder. You suddenly turned around with a balled up fist, punching Bruce in his armoured chest.

Which was a mistake on your part. You let out a small wince in pain. ”Don’t sneak up on me, Bruce” you said annoyed rubbing your now bruised fist. ”What are you doing out here?” Bruce questioned plainly. ”None of your business, now go home” you told him.

”I thought Dick talked to you about the whole sneaking out thing” Bruce said. ”I didn’t ”sneak out”, i just left without telling anyone and i had a good reason too” you defended yourself. ”What do you mean, you ”had a good reason too”?” Bruce asked. ”Like i said it’s ”none of your business” now go, i’m waiting for someone” you said looking around. ”Who?” Bruce questioned.

”I think he’s looking for me” a familiar voice spoke up from behind Bruce.

Bruce turned around and was met with Selina, you immediately ran past Bruce and in to your mother’s arms, as you were wrapped in a tight hug. ”Hi, my little kitten” Selina said lovingly in your embrace. ”Selina?” Bruce said suprised.

”Hi Bruce, it’s been a while” she greeted. You and your mom spent about an hour catching up on what the other had been up to, since you moved in with Bruce and the others and since she went on the run. Bruce stood silently and listened, not wanting to interrupt knowing how much you had missed your mom.

”Are you coming home soon?” you asked her hopefully. ”Not yet, they’re still on my tail but as soon as i can, you’ll be first to know, okay?” she explained. ”Okay” you uttered disappointed. ”Y/n, can you give me a moment to speak with your dad?” she asked. ”Sure” you said walking towards the parking lot of the gas station.

”You know, i’ve missed you too, Bruce” Selina said giving him a kiss on the cheek. ”I’ve missed you too, Silena” Bruce said warmly. ”So, how has he been behaving?” Selina asked referring to you. Bruce gave a slight smile and started ”Well…”.

”He’s secretive and tough, he steals from his siblings, he sneaks out without telling anyone, gets in to fights at school and somehow has decided he thinks Black Canary is cooler than me” Bruce explained. ”That’s my boy” Selina said proudly and quickly added ”Our boy”. Bruce smiled turned slightly saddened. ”I think he sees himself mostly as your boy” he said.

”That’s my fault” Selina admitted and continued ”I should’ve introduced him to you sooner and let him get to know his father before just leaving, but he loves you, i can tell”. ”How?” Bruce questioned. ”Otherwise he’d sneak out and not come back” Selina explained.

She and Bruce then walked up to you waiting on the gas station. ”I’ll need to get going soon, Bruce, can you go wait in the car” she said and walked towards you. Selina grabbed you and pulled you in to another tight hug. She then said softly ”Look Y/n, you need learn to trust your dad, i know he’s been gone for 13 years of your life and that was a bad choice on my part”.

”Don’t hold it against him that he wasn’t there for you, okay?” she finished and you nodded. ”Now run along your dad is waiting” she said and put her biking helmet on. She then started her bike and drove off. You went back to the Batmobile and sat down in the passenger seat.

”Sorry, i snuck out again, B-… Dad” you said, the word dad feeling strange in your mouth. ”It’s okay, Y/n, it was ”none of my business” after all” Bruce said jokingly and started the drive home. By the time you two got back to the manor you had fallen asleep resting your head against your dad’s shoulder.

[ghostbsuter]

Twins, minus the Demon (Part 1)

.・゜-: ✧ :-

When Damian and Danyal were created, it was not to become the League's successors, but to be the children for the trio to raise.

It didn't work, eveyrhting shattered when Ra's Al Ghul found out about the heirs.

Their Umi, Talia, went back to the League when the two were taken, Mother and Father none the wiser.

And so, they were trained carefully beneath the watchful eye of their grandfather.

Until they were 10.

Talia, Umi, revolved against the leader of the league and sent her boys to Gotham. She kickstarted a war with a battle cry, holding her sword up and chin never lowered.

Knowing Umi would be back, because she always did come back, they separated and planned.

Damian left with Father, Danyal with Mother.

Neither knew of the other, lest they ruin the suprise after all.

Like cats on a mission, truly.

—

Studying his self-proclaimed blood son, he noticed with sadness that he had Talias eyes, her tan, and walked just like her.

Yet he also reminded him of Selina, with the swiftness of a cat, eyes never straying and only satisfied when succeeded. He mildly notes he had her unruly curls with amusement.

He was a mix of demon and cat, but also with the spice of bat.

Stubborn like him, never backing down and always fighting.

He wonders why Talia left them, hiding a secret child along.

The spot for Robin was free, Tim having renamed himself with a new hero alias and finally flying from the nest.

Bruce should tell Selina, with his new Robin by his side.

—

While the man mourned, Selina had been enlightened when her eyes met his.

It was bittersweet in a way, to know the woman you loved had hidden a child from her and Bruce, but it also brought hope.

Because wherever talia was, this, this proves she didn't leave for nothing.

Selina sees the similarities between her and Danyal, he was quick-witted, let his emotions in the moment lead, and loves just as fierce as Talia does.

She also sees his hair curl just like her own, blue eyes that can only be from Bruce, lighter in shade than Talia is and with the matching paranoia of the bat included.

And she sent her son to her.

Their son.

Because she couldn't take care of him right now, something happened, and it forced her hand and focused on protecting the child first.

It meant one day, she would come back.

To her, to them.

She needs to introduce him to Bruce.

—

While Robin had his fair time as vigilante sidekick, Ragdoll robbed the rich and made sure to tease the other as much as possible.

It wasn't until they met, that the light was flipped and the truth revealed.

(For being such a old guy, Danyal really tips his head to Dick, the guy figured him out in a second, not far behind was Tim.)

(He really should have concealed his eyes, would have been more fun.)

They met on a rooftop, Catwoman leaning on a gargoyle as her little helper stood by her side.

(Catwoman wasn't fooled as easy, it took just a few longer glances that she'd figured out the switch.)

The bat's and birds on the other side, and soon enough, Batman gestures to his Robin, who steps forward.

Mirroring the bird, so did the cat.

"This is Robin." He introduces, and selina bites her laughter back, because–

That's her boy, or apparently, one of her boys.

"Ragdoll." She gives a fleeing smile, tilting her head to her apprentice.

"Okay, so, Nightwing, Red Robin and Black Bat immediately figured it out." Robin speaks up, two firm grips on his costume, and one tug has him dressed as his cat counterpart. He seems sheepish.

(Dick in particular is leaning forward with a wide grin, dragged behind him is Jason, interested but stubborn.)

"Tt," Ragdoll throws his own costume away, revealing Robin. "You need more practice. It took catwoman only 3 hours. I win."

The boy walks forward to his twins side, it seemed to amuse catwoman even more.

"Nuh uh! Technically speaking Batman didn't even know!"

Both pointedly look at the clad in black outfit wearing man, frozen stiff and looking between the two.

"Really, father?" Another 'tt' and Robin grumbles. "Fine, I'll take you to the stupid milkshake cafe."

Cheering, Ragdoll is throwing his arms around Robin's neck, dangling in front of his, the older twin having a secure grip on the black collar, lest Ragdoll fall.

"I get my milkshake!" Robin only seems more exasperated at his behaviour, shaking his head.

With delight and literally vibrating from his spot, Nightwing jumped at the two, staring between them with curiosity.

With his lead, so did the other birds and bats, teasing and playfully giving them head pats.

"Twins?" Batman's gruff voice breaks through the little gathering they have.

"Yes, father." The firstborn easily replies, the second only following behind. "Umi didn't want to overwhelm you and Catwoman when she sent us here. Don't be mad?"

"Now that we're talking about this, neither explained your circumstances nor why now?" She nears them with her cat like dance, slipping next to Batman and leaning into his side.

Both twins share a look.

"Umi was adamant that we'd meet and get along first before bringing in our situation." Robin explains, his voice is steady yet unsure in the way only a child with recent loss could sound.

"It's not that she didn't trust you," Ragdoll explains to Batman when the man looked like he wanted to interject. "Umi knew you'd help us regardless of our blood connection."

They share another look, one fiddles with his hands, the other having a steady grip on his hilt.

"This is no conversation for anyone to hear, we can't risk being found because we slacked off in security."

The twin wearing leather and cat ears snorts, mischief twinkling, and jumping forward to give Red Robin a pat on the chest.

A smile only a cat could wear takes over, and with joy he hollers. "Tag! Your it!"

Not even a second later, he was thrown over Robins shoulder and both skedaddled to the cave.

"Tt, truly experts, to freeze like that on a rooftop. Assassins could have easily killed all of you in that moment."

Robins tease echoes through the comm and causes them all to unfreeze.

With a huff of laughter, Red Hood pushed Nightwing to RR as sacrifice and bolted after the twins.

A yelp and Nightwing was swiftly tagged, RR disappearing with Spoiler in tow.

When he searches for a target, both Batman and Catwoman are already gone.

"Aw man."

—

In the end, Robin comfortably sits at the chair in front of the batcomputer, Ragdoll on the arm rest with his legs tossed out on the others lap.

"You guys are so slow!"

As the other mile around, Damian and Dnyal exchange hushed whispers, only drawn out when Batman urges them by clearing his throat.

"Okay, this won't be easy," Danny drawls the words, fumbling with Damians hair instead.

The other scowls but does nothing else. "First of all, Umi did not leave you willingly." He speaks loud and clear, mask off and staring at Bat and Cat.

"She never planned on leaving, but complications arose with our birth."

Smiling nervous, Danny takes over.

"You're familiar with our grandfather, yes?" At the nods, he grimaces. "When he heard he had potential heirs, he kidnapped us once born. Umi had to follow immediately, lest one of us dies because grandfather wasn't careful."

"She couldn't exactly flee either, with two toddlers, so what she could do, she did. It might not have been the best childhood, but umi did her best!"

While the children of the bat stay mostly silent, Bruce, without cowl, and Selina don't.

"Why now? Why did she send you two at 10?"

Damian drums his fingers on the others legs laid out on him, humming.

"On our 10th birthday, Grandfather gave us a rather... peculiar mission." He winces at the explanation, those words bring no truth of the situation to light.

"What akhi means, we're twins." Dnany holds up two fingers. "Two people, one destiny. Grandfather did not like that two remained, seeing as only one can become the next Demon head."

Someone took a sharp intake of air somewhere, he can't really focus, the memories are not pleasant ones he'd get reminded of.

"Umi didn't let it happen," Damian drawls, massaging Danyal's fingers with bored expression, the forced nonchalance doesn't fool anyone.

"She swung her sword and declared war on grandfather. It was the start of a civil war in the league, dangerous to us for we were still known as heirs."

Danny meets Selinas eyes. "Umi didn't just send us here because of the chance, it was also for protection. With groups joining the civil war for the throne, some might have the idea to kill off the heirs, us in this situation."

A wince and he starts blabbering. "Not that I'd like to die in the next few hours, or days, or weeks, or—"

"You're rambling, daynal."

"Sorry akhi."

With a wave of his hand, Batman nods at the rest of the bat's and birds, they leave to continue patrol.

Silence in the cave, only interrupted by drops of water and the clicks of the bat's above them.

"Thank you." Her voice is soft as she walks to them, heels clicking on the ground. Her gloved hands ruffle the ebony hair of the two and brings them into a hug.

"We will protect you, love you and wait for Umi to come back," Selina declares with careful words, nails running through thick curly hair.

Damian and Danyal can't argue otherwise, the other not as comfortable as his counterpart with the hug, but leaning in neverless.

This will be a journey, neither parents having had twins before and growing back closer with them.

(When talia left, Bruce and Selina grew apart. It brought tension they'd ignore in publics eye, vulnerable moments only for the other to see and so much mourning.)

(Talia is not back, but her children are. Their children. Wonderful twins that will stomp and smash the tension between them and bring back what Talia took.)

(They cannot wait for the day their third will rejoin them.)

[incorrectbatfam]

How does Tim come out to every member of the batfam (/how they find out and subsequent reactions)

Tim: I'm b—

Dick: OMG it's happening.

Tim: —ingeing Stranger Things this weekend, you want in?

Dick: Oh. I'm good, thanks. I promised Wally we'd speed-watch it together.

Tim: Suit yourself.

Tim: Also I like boys.

———————

Tim: Guys, I have something to tell you.

Tim: I'm bi.

Tim: I hope that doesn't change anything.

Steph, Cass, Babs, and Duke: *already exchanging money*

———————

Tim: Alfred, I'm bi.

Alfred: That's nice Master Tim, but could you pick a time when you're not bleeding out?

———————

Tim: I'm bi.

Damian: Buying what?

Tim: No, Damian, I'm bi.

Damian: You already said that, but WHAT are you buying?

Tim: I'm telling you I like boys and girls.

Damian, increasingly frustrated: How is that relevant to your purchase?

———————

Tim: Selina, can I trust you with something?

Selina: Is it jewelry?

Tim: No.

Selina: Then yes.

Tim: Okay, here it goes... I'm bi.

Selina: I love and accept you the way you are. Also, you forgot this.

Selina: *tosses him his wallet*

———————

[texting]

Tim: *sends the bi flag*

Kate: k

———————

Tim: I'm bi.

Harper: Bruce, he's copying me!

———————

[on the phone]

Jason: I'm outside the Nest.

Tim: Hang on, I'll let you in—

Tim: *looks out the window*

Tim: Why do you have a shovel?

Jason: Isn't that what you wanted to tell me?

Tim: I—no??? I was gonna come out.

Jason: Oh.

Jason: So what am I gonna do with this shovel?

———————

Bruce: *working*

Tim: Dad, I'm gonna sneak my boyfriend through the window.

Bruce: *grunts*

Bruce: Wait.

[lazydoodlesandfanfic]

BATMAN/ BATFAMILY MASTERLIST

*DISCLAIMER: SOME STORIES MAY BE TAGGED FOR WRONG DEMOGRAPHIC (ie, Not GN, male or fem) IF SO, PLEASE POLITELTY INFORM ME SO I CAN FIX IT

BRUCE WAYNE/ BATMAN

I Can't Protect You Anymore (Batman X Daughter!Reader)

Turning Into Jason (Bruce Wayne X Daughter!Reader)

Teleportation Help (Bruce Wayne X Daughter!Reader)

Forgotten Birthday (Bruce Wayne X Daughter!Reader)

Finding Identities (Bruce Wayne X Teen!Reader)

Independence (Bruce Wayne X Male!Teen!Reader)

Dick And Jason's Friend (Bruce Wayne X Male!Reader

Addicton To Fear (Bruce Wayne X Male!Reader)

Happy Anniversary (Bruce Wayne X Male!Reader)

DICK GRAYSON/ NIGHTWING

Plan PDA (Dick Grayson X Male!Reader) Pt 1/ Pt 2/ Pt 3

Movies And Plans (Dick Grayson X Male!Reader)

Telling Truths (Dick Grason X Male!Reader)

Loathing To Love (Dick Grayson X Male!Reader)

Seeing An Unwanted Face (Dick Grayson X Male!Reader)

Escaping Joker (Dick Grayson X Fem!Reader) *TW

Hating Your Presence (Dick Grayson X Fem!Reader)

Betrayed (Dick Grayson X Reader)

JASON TODD/ RED HOOD

MIA (Jason Todd X Male!Reader) Pt 1/ Pt 2

Just An Accident (Jason Todd X Male!Reader)

Sleeping Over (Jason Todd X Male!Reaer)

Never Forgotten (Jason Todd X Male!Reader)

Serving Revenge (Jason Todd X Male!Reader)

Practically Together (Jason Todd X Male!Reader) Pt 1/ Pt 2

Help Through Change (Jason Todd X Reader)

Selina's Kitten (Jason Todd X Fem!Reader)

Meeting The Family (Jason Todd X Fem!Reader)

Quoting Shakespeare (Jason Todd X Fem!Reader)

Nightmares (Jason Todd X Fem!Reader)

Jason's Partner's Sacrifice (Jason Todd X Fem!Reader)

Opposing Ego (Jason Todd X Fem!Reader)

Shut Up! (Jason Todd X Fem!Reader)

Protecting Children (Jason Todd X Fem!Reader)

Wrong Apartment (Jason Todd X Fem!Reader)

Staying Home (Jason Todd X Fem!Reader)

Under The Mask (Jason Todd X Fem!Reader)

Normalcy In Chaos (Jason Todd X Brother!Reader)

Anxieties (Jason Todd X Sister!Reader)

TIM DRAKE/ RED ROBIN

You're More Important (Tim Drake X Reader)

Childhood Promises (Tim Drake X Male!Reader)

DAMIAN WAYNE/ ROBIN

Trust Takes Time (Damian Wayne X Batmom!Reader)

A New Member Of The Family (Damian Wayne X Sister!Reader)

Secret Friendship (Damian Wayne X Fem!Reader)

Meeting On Rooftops (Damian Wayne X Fem!Reader)

Similar Suffering (Damian Wayne X Fem!Reader)

Needing To Move (Damian Wayne X Reader)

Longing At Galas (Adult!Damian Wayne X Male!Reader)

ALFRED PENNYWORTH

Needing A Cheer Up (Alfred Pennyworth X Fem!Reader)

BATFAM

Lost Control (Batfam X Fem!Reader)

A Part Of The Family (Batfam X Fem!Reader)

Nothing Said (Batfam X Fem!Reader) Pt 1/ Pt2

Hanging Criminals (Batfam X Brother!Reader) Pt 1/ Pt 2

New Sister (Batfam X Fem!Reader) Pt 1/ Pt 2

Much Loved Sister In Law (Batfam X Fem!Reader)

Walking Home (Batfam X Deaf!Batson!Reader)

Little Daredevil (Batfam X Blind!Batsis!Reader)

Being Bruce' First Bio Son And You're Developing Relationship With Damian Would Include...

Date With A Girl (Batfam X Batsis!Reader)

Birthday Blues (Batfam X Male!Reader)

[justgowithitplease]

jason todd with the valentines day special pleasee

YOU'RE SO GOOD TO ME

It was Valentine's Day, yet Jason still had patrol. God you hated it. You couldn't have one night home with your boyfriend without it being disrupted or cancelled. Not even on the holiday of love. Fuck, even Bruce and Selina had taken the night off.

You were in yours and Jason's apartment, laying on your bed in the dark. The only light in the room was from your phone, which was filled with images from your friends Instagrams of their boyfriends and fiancé(e)s and husbands.

They were having an amazing night with fancy restaurants while you were worrying if your lover would make it back home or not.

You let your phone flop out of your hand and onto the bed as you reach to his side of the bed. Your fingers dig into his pillow as you drag it over to you. You hug it tightly, taking in a big breath to inhale the scent of rain and motorcycle grease. An odd yet comforting smell.

You slowly start to drift off to sleep, the warmth of the blankets and the darkness of the room pulling you into it's depths. Your breathing slows down as your eyelashes flutter, you finally sleeping.

An hour or so later, you're woken up by the familiar sound of military boots and kevlar hitting the ground. The door opens a few seconds later, revealing an exhausted looking Jason.

He's in black cargo pants made with kevlar woven in, and a long sleeved black shirt. His dark brown hair is ruffled and messy. The white stripe in the front of his hair is on the right side of his face instead of the left where it usually is.

"Jaybird?" You mutter sleepily, looking over at him as you rub sleep from your eyes

"...hi love..." he whispers softly "I gotta cut on my side. D'yah mind patchin' me up?"

You nod, getting up. You stand up and trudge over to the bathroom, flicking on the lights. Both yours and Jason's eyes squint from the sudden intrusion on your corneas.

Jason leans against the sink counter, you rummaging through the drawers. You pull out some hydrogen peroxide, gauze, and pre wrap you bought for things like this.

You turn on the sink and wet a square of gauze. You press it to the gash on the side of his ribs, getting rid of the dried blood crusting the shirt to his body. He helps lift his shirt up, keeping it off the wound as you clean it.

He's done this enough times, been beaten and cut so much the sting of the cleaner doesn't hurt. And he's not really one who's sappy, so he's never tell you this, but it hurts a little less when you're cleaning his wounds.

You put the gauze over his wound, wrapping pre wrap around his ribs to keep the gauze on. He takes off his shirt and replaces it with a spare green T-shirt from off the bathroom floor. He watches you put the med kit back, his grey eyes tracing you.

You walk out of the bathroom, flicking the lights off as you leave. You lift up the covers on the bed and crawl under, the warmth threatening to take you immediately if it weren't for Jason's weight appearing next to you.

As you two lay comfortably in the silence and darkness, Jason shifts over to lay his head on your chest and have his arms draped over your hips. His body heat soaks into you, pulling you deeper and deeper into the almost irresistible urge to sleep. The only reason you don't is because his whispers reach your ears before you can.

"You're so good to me." Jason whispers softly "Happy Valentine's Day love. Sorry it sucks."

[sanguineterrain]

Hi, I love your fics. Feel free to say no to this request but I was wondering if maybe you could write something about asexual Jason Todd? I've always felt like he'd be aspec and identified with him because of that. You write intimacy and love without sex so well, and it'd be wonderful to see it with ace Jason. Maybe one where he tells the reader and he's really scared but they accept him? But if you don't want to, completely fine. Thank you for sharing your writing. 🧡

Hey there nonnie. This one is very personal to me; I'm also ace and have often had the thought that Jason is aspec too. I think sometimes I write him that way without realizing it. I hope you and others enjoy this one! 💓

asexual!jason todd x gn!reader. tw sexuality discussion, some internalized acephobia, love confession. please be kind in the comments.

****

Rain patters on the kitchen window. You'd come over with the excuse of the two egg and cheese sandwiches from the bodega Jason likes so much.

"I think I could eat egg and cheese sandwiches for every meal," he says, mustard on his nose.

You want to say something stupid. Something about bringing him egg and cheese sandwiches in the rain forever. Something about a grave and hunger and what it means to be fed, to feed.

"From anywhere or specifically from the bodega?" you ask.

"Bodega, obviously. Alfred's, too. And yours. Food made with love." He shakes the foil. "I can taste the love."

"Jason?"

"Hm?"

"I..." You touch your nose. "Mustard."

He wipes it off. The thin takeout napkin is tiny in his hand.

"Don't even know how it got up there," he mumbles.

Oh, God. You're about to say something stupid.

"I love you," you blurt. "I—I'm falling in love with you, Jason."

Silence. Jason freezes mid-bite.

"Fuck," he whispers.

You watch as he springs from the couch and starts to pace. He chews on a cuticle, eyes wild. The sandwich is abandoned on the coffee table. You frown.

"Jason. Jay. Hey. Jaybird."

Nothing. You catch his free hand and rub his knuckles. Jason's eyes dart to you. He stops.

"I didn't say that to scare you," you say, even though it hurts, the idea that your love scares him. "It's okay if you don't feel the same."

"I do," Jason says miserably. "Fuck, I do. I love you so much. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

You squeeze his hand, suddenly, incandescently happy.

"You do?" you ask.

"But I—" He shakes his head. "I can't love you the way you want me to."

"Jay, whatever you think coming back did, I promise that—"

"No." Jason swallows hard and shuts his eyes. "God, that's the thing. 'S not from the Pit. I thought—y'know, I waited for everything to slide into place. The Lazarus Pit is s'posed to resurrect a person. Build them anew. But I felt the same."

"Felt the same?"

Jason looks at you then, and you know that expression. It's a plea. Don't use this information to hurt me.

You tug him back to the couch, coax him into sitting. He very carefully doesn't let any part of him touch you.

"I didn't, uh, have a name for it when I was younger. I didn't, like, think about sex or anything like that very much before B took me in 'cause I was in survival mode, y'know?"

"That makes sense, Jay," you offer gently.

"Right. Well, but it just... stayed that way. And before you ask, yeah, I've tried. I've tried to force the feelings." He takes a shaky breath. "I remember Dick telling me about how he'd started dating Kori—I mean, Kori, she's beautiful, y'know? And I was like, what's wrong with me that I can't feel that? I knew that she was beautiful, logically, but I didn't... feel it. I picked it apart for months, trying to figure out why I couldn't be like him or B or Selina."

"Oh, Jay..."

"No, I know. I tried. I crushed on a few people, but I never acted on it 'cause I knew there was something... different. Something to hide. And then I thought the Pit would give that to me, that feeling I've never had, and it didn't. And I guess I should be happy that it's not something that needs to be fixed or restored or whatever, but all I feel is shame. I feel sick when someone looks at me like I'm a piece of meat. I attract more attention with how I look now, and it's worse than before, having no control over how people desire me."

You frown. "Jason, if I've ever made you feel that way, I hope you'd tell me. I'm sorry if I have."

"No, you—you're perfect. God, you make me feel so safe. Cared for in a way I haven't known in a long time. And that's why this is so shit. 'Cause this won't work. You want something I can't give you."

"Who says I don't want what you can give me?"

Jason laughs. It comes out choked. "Oh, no, no. You don't know what you're saying. Maybe it'll take six months or a year or two years but you'll get fed up with not having sex. I'm not worth celibacy. I know I'm not."

"Jason." You lightly touch his cheek. He looks at you, eyes wet. "Oh, Jay. Why do you think that? Why do you think you're only good for your body?"

"Hah. I've only been good for my body for years now. 'S nothing new, and it doesn't matter whether I'm a boyfriend or a soldier."

"Jason. It does matter. It does. You're not a body to me, you're a person. A brain. A heart. A good soul."

He blinks fast. "Don't... y'don't have to say that stuff. Let me down easy. It's okay if you leave. I don't have what you want."

"But you do. There's no reason you don't. Sex? I can do without."

He scoffs. "That easy, huh?"

"With you? Yes," you say. "Easiest choice I've ever made, actually. Like deciding to bring you a breakfast sandwich. I woke up and I did that. Because I love you."

His fingers creep to yours. You hold them as soon as he's within reach.

"I'm not gonna change," he says.

Jason thinks it's a warning. You see it for what it is: hope.

"That's alright," you say, squeezing his hand. "I'm not trying to change you."