#so Jason is having a not so fun good time because Tim keeps dropping stuff on him and he’s trying not to freak out and upset Tim but that’s

[raeofgayshine]

This fic might fucking kill me but I think it will be worth it because holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit.

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Finally Getting Help (prt 8)

Masterpost

The next day was less chaotic but not by much. They had to go through everything they’d taken from the Fenton’s lab, and reluctantly accepted Danny and Jazz’s help with the task because they were familiar with the tech. That was surprisingly needed since all of their gadgets were extremely obtuse and looked like household appliances. It was honestly surprising how good Danny was with all of this stuff, he knew what everything was, how to take it apart and how to put it back together to show the heroes how it worked. 

“They don’t all work for humans. Some have to be fueled with ectoplasm so they need to be constantly refueled. Dad used to wear a backpack full of the stuff ghost busters style but that’s really not practical so this one isn’t very useful to you. I can use it though,” Danny said as he screwed the last part back on the.. Whatever it was. 

“Okay, but why does it look like a blender?” Tim asked, baffled and impressed.

“Oh that’s because that’s what it was built out of,” Danny said with a crooked smile. “We repurposed a lot of household items into tech. Give me a couple toasters and a microwave and I’ll have three specter deflectors ready for you before dinner time.” He said as he pressed his hand against one of the gins and it started glowing intently green.

“Here don’t drop it,” He said tossing it to Batman, who did manage to catch it. “I fueled it with three shots, just in case Vlad shows up or another ghosts threatens you. And actually even with your charms I would feel a lot better if you all had specter deflectors since you’re all involved with me now,” He sighed and rubbed his face. 

“Well… we can get you toasters and a microwave but we can also get you more advanced parts if those will work better,” Bruce told Danny, gingerly holding the odd gun away from himself. It wasn’t a traditional gun so it wasn’t upsetting but he still didn’t like it. 

Danny looked very tempted but he shook his head. “No I’d better do it with what I know, I can get it done faster that way and they work. I’d love to play with some of those more advanced parts though. I’m sure I can come with some fun stuff.” 

Uh oh, Bruce didn’t like that look on Tim’s face, the last thing he needed was more encouragement! But Danny was the child of mad scientists, he would get along perfectly with Tim, Bruce was going to have to keep a close eye on them to make sure they didn’t accidentally make a death ray. 

“You can join me in my lab later,” Tim offered hopefully and Danny glanced up at him with a borderline feral grin. 

“That sounds great, I’m sure you have much better lab safety than my parents. Love engineering, would hate to die a second time.” He said it like a joke, just the way Jason tended to. Jazz laughed, but only to encourage her brother’s coping method, no one else did. 

“Alright, we’ll go to the nearest home appliance store and get you some toasters and microwaves,” Bruce said. 

“Hell ya, I should have been adopted by a rich family years ago,” Danny cackled. Oh dear, he’d been so traumatized yesterday Bruce hadn’t realized he was Feral. Why did this keep happening.

He informed Alfred of Danny’s request and by the time they finished going over the more confusing inventions and left for lunch the appliances were waiting for Danny in the lab that he and Tim would apparently now be sharing. Danny immediately dove on the machinery starting to take them apart with practiced hands. He seemed calm and in his element but Tim stayed to supervise, both just in case something went wrong, and because it was His lab and they hadn’t talked about rules of cohabitation yet.

Bruce left them to it. Alfred had informed him that Jason had arrived and headed straight to the kitchen without saying hello to anyone else. It wasn’t a surprise, he was closest to Alfred, he’s want to help with making dinner, and get the basic scoop from his most trusted family member before having to face anyone else. Bruce knew better than to intrude on that, but God did he want to. 

Regardless of what his children thought Bruce cared deeply for all of them, and he hated that sometimes they doubted it. He wished he was better at telling and showing them, but he’d managed to convince himself it was too late for him to change so he didn’t have to face the years of mistakes and trauma he had endured and inflicted. No matter what what image he tried to project, he was still only human.

He went to his office, but he couldn’t settle to anything, he did a little bit of this, and little bit of that, and just ended up pacing the carpeted floor. He left them alone as long as he could before he gave in and went down to the kitchen.

���Sorry to interrupt, I just needed a cup of coffee,” He said as casually as he could. The looks Alfred and Jason gave him said neither of them actually believed his excuse, which was fair. “It’s good to see you Jaylad, thanks for coming.”

“Well I’m not going to miss out on a new brother am I? You gonna have this one running around in spandex too B?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, it made Bruce wince but it Was progress because he was acknowledging their familial ties. 

“I’m almost two years too late to stop him,” Bruce said regretfully. “It’s been… a lot has happened. I’m sure Alfred caught you up on most of it, but I’d like to talk to you before you meet either of the siblings.”

“Trying to make sure I won’t be a bad influence?” Jason asked and Bruce couldn’t tell if he was joking or accusing. 

“No, nothing like that,” Bruce said, holding up his hands. “I just want to talk.”

Jason hummed skeptically, scrutinizing Bruce before turning back towards Alfred. “What do you think Alfie, can you spare me?”

“I always appreciate your help master Jason, but I can manage on my own,” Alfred assured, sounding amused. 

“Alright, to your office then?” Jason asked, turning back towards Bruce. 

“Or the sitting room, whichever would be more comfortable.”

“Office,” Jason said firmly, this was the distance that he was keeping between them. They worked together now, and Jason cared for his siblings, but he kept them all at arms length. For everyone’s safety really, if they set him off he didn’t want to hurt them, and he didn’t want to be set off either. It always felt like shit. Jason followed Bruce to the office and sprawled in the soft chair across the desk from Bruce’s. He remembered being a kid, sitting properly and nervously in this chair across from Bruce hoping desperately for his approval. How times change.

“I just wanted to talk to you about the new kids” Bruce started and Jason waved him away.

“I’m really not going to corrupt them or anything, I Probably won’t be around enough to make a difference anyway.” Jason said dismissively.

Bruce took a deep breath, controlling his expression and folding his hands on the table. “That’s not it Jaylad, Alfred must have told you that the boy died and came back?” 

Jason tensed and green swirled in his vision, it was the same thing that Bruce had seen in Danny when Zatana asked about Phantom. “Ya he did.” Defensive and insecure.

“It seems like he, and his sister who was sort of a caretaker to him, know a lot more than we do about the effect that that has on a person. To help us take care of Danny she gave us a presentation about it, it… makes a lot of sense. You should probably talk to her and Danny about it really but I just wanted to apologize. 

“I’ve been trying to fix this, fix… you for a long time and I know I’ve been going about it wrong and I’ve been hurting you.”

“You got a new treatment plan in mind, old man?” Jason asked, his arms crossed and Bruce wished that mistrust wasn’t earned. 

“No,” Bruce sighed looking down. “Really Jason I don’t, I know I was wrong. This is something I just didn’t know I didn’t know about,” He hated his own ignorance, he hated to admit it! He was Batman! The way he kept up with other superheroes was always being prepared for everything and knowing more than everyone around him, but he hadn’t even known there was something there to know!

“This isn’t about that, and it’s not about you staying away from the new kids. Exactly the opposite actually, since they know more about this, and Danny might be one of the few people who really understands what it’s like to die and come back like that, I was hoping you’d spend more time here, around them. I think it might help you both.”

“Huh,” Jason sounded, blinking rapidly because that was the most sincere apology he’d gotten from Bruce and he didn’t quite know how to react to it. “Maybe… maybe.” He hadn’t met the new siblings yet after all, maybe they’d hate each other. 

“Can I meet them now?” He asked looking back up at Bruce curiously. 

“Of course, the girl's name is Jasmine Fenton, called Jazz, the boy goes by Danny. Jazz is turning 18 soon, Danny is 16.” 

Right Tim had mentioned that, so Danny was about 3 years younger than him then. That shouldn’t matter too much, and maybe Tim will be right about the sister and can tease Jason about it. He’d been single for a while and wouldn’t mind changing that.

“Of course, I think you should meet Jazz first, she’s protective of Danny and she hasn’t been very involved in all of this. I think she’d feel better being allowed to… vet you first for lack of a better word. Are you okay with that?” Bruce asked Jason politely. 

“Sure, I don’t really care what order I meet them in and… Look Bruce I know I’m mad at you, and I was really hard on Timmy when everything was still raw. But I’m never going to knowingly hurt a kid, or make life harder for them. If I can help them I will,” Jason said sincerely. 

“Jason, the girl is less than a year younger than you. You’re a kid too,” Bruce said sadly. Jason froze for a moment, Yes he was 19, his mind wasn’t fully developed yet or whatever the hell, but he hadn’t felt like a kid since his death. Even before that, the responsibility for his mother, and then the work as a hero. Bruce wanted soldiers, Jason had never gotten a chance to be a kid really.

“Whatever,” Jason scoffed, shoving his hands into his pockets and standing up, closing himself off from that sincerity. “Do you know where she is?”

“She’s in the library,” Bruce said, his lips twitching up in a smile. “She loves books almost as much as you did, though she seems to be more drawn to non-fiction.” 

Jason hummed and nodded, heading towards the door since he knew his own damn way to the library, Bruce didn’t have to lead! He did follow through, he was clearly protective of these kids so of course he would want to be there when Jason met them.

When he entered the library he saw a young woman sitting at one of the tables with some sort of text book. Her back was straight and her legs tucked under the chair with her ankles crossed. It looked like she was self consciously trying to look put together. She looked up at them, blue green eyes looking him over critically, he could practically see her picking him apart in her mind and he tried not to fidget.

“Hey, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Jason Todd,” He said, walking over and offering her his hand to shake. She was very pretty, but he was surprised by his own complete lack of attraction, she just didn’t register that way, she seemed more… maternal almost.

“Ah, the dead son,” She chuckled, getting up from the table and reaching out to shake his hand, her grip was strong and her hands were soft and cool. “It’s nice to meet you, they mentioned you. Nothing bad,” She added when she saw her face. “And I don’t mean to be rude, I know some people are sensitive about their deaths being mentioned. Danny jokes about it all the time so… I just wanted to let you know that I know, and I accept you.” Jazz said with a warm smile. 

Her easy acceptance caught him off guard and before he could help it he was baring his teeth at her in a snarl, defensive and probing, did she mean it? She grinned sharper bearing sharp fangs at him in a matching sign of… friendly aggression, something inside him settled. He chuckled and took a step back. “Well thanks, nice to meet someone who doesn’t look like they bit a lemon every time I make a death joke.”

“It’s your death, as long as it’s healthy you can own that however comes naturally to you,” Jazz promised, sitting back down at the desk. “I’d love to talk more and get to know you, but we can do that later. You really should meet Danny.”

“You don’t want to come with us,” Bruce broke in, sounding worried. Jason had almost forgotten he was there, he hadn’t realized how… all encompassing the short interaction had been.

“I’ll probably follow,” Jazz said with a shrug, her gaze turning stern as she looked at Bruce. “Remember what I said about never breaking up a fight,” She told him firmly. 

Well if that didn’t make Jason nervous he didn’t know what did. Why would he fight with Danny? Would Danny fight with him? Why? “You really think it’s a good idea for us to meet? Why would we fight?” Jason asked her sharply.

“Of course,” she agreed, her eyes softening as she looked back at him, though her expression remained a little mischievous. “It’ll be good for both of you.”

Next

[ashoss]

Hii!! This is waterunderthebridge12, I just stumbled across your art of The Robin Declaration and it made my entire week <3333. I love Duke so much and I'm so glad there are others who love him too!!! I would love if you dropped your Duke-centric fic recs, I've only read a few good ones (that aren't just him being an outsider) so any recs are appreciated!

oh my god! hii! im so glad u liked the silly little doodle lol i would love to do an actual drawing for either The Robin Generation or the Robin Declaration !! they were such fun reads and i absolutely adored the way you portrayed all of them <33

unfortunately i dont really have a lot of duke-centric fics but i have a couple!

WHEN EARTH FINDS STARS. by orpheusaki

duke & jason, pre-WAR and signal

15.8k words, 4 chapters (unfinished)

"Let it be known that I completely detest the implications of what this situation is mirroring," Red Hood grumbles to himself and it's the longest string of words Duke has heard from any so-called Gotham vigilante, let alone the one who's known for shooting more than he is talking. "The fuck?" Duke mutters, because if he's already going to die, he might as well try and make sense of it. "I'm not going to care about whatever sob story you have," is what Red Hood replies with instead of explaining, "Where are your parents?" "Gone," is all Duke says, because it's really none of this guy's business. It's also the truth. Somehow, Red Hood sounds even more anguished about this information than Duke is, "Ah shit." (Duke steals the tires off Red Hood's bike and somehow gains a family.)

YOU HEAR ITS SONG FROM THE MORNING BIRDS. (series) by orpheusaki

duke & bruce, duke & batfam

9k words, 3 words (unfinished)

A series of Duke Thomas centric works, mostly featuring his growing relationship with his new kind-of-dad-boss-friend, Bruce Wayne.

Keep Your Head, Your Backbone, and Your Heart by MrMich

duke & tim, alfred, bruce

54k words, 6 chapters

The last thing that Duke expected on what was supposed to be just a regular patrol was being suddenly thrown five years into the past, coming face to face with a darker, more violent Batman than the one he knew, a broken family, and a Tim who was a foot shorter than Duke, and not even Robin yet.

A silent shadow flitted past him, just barely visible on the cave walls. He went rigid, tracking the shadow in the corner of his vision. And then he dropped to the floor, just in time, as a familiar black gloved fist passed overhead. He just barely missed being hit by the punishing blow that would have landed right on his temple for a sure concussion if he hadn’t dodged. “Batman?” Duke yelled. He somersaulted forward, just barely avoiding another strike. “B, what are you doing?!” “Who are you,” came the growled response. A shiver crawled down Duke’s spine at the grim hostility in Batman’s voice that promised violence, and something tightened in the back of his throat.

Family-- by incorrectbatfam

duke & batfam

3.3k words, 1 chapter

“Your assignment over the weekend is to write a poem about your family.”

Strange Bedfellows by snackbaskets

duke & steph & jason

2.7k words, 1 chapter

Little known fact about bats: they're AWFUL at sleeping alone. At least, the ones in the Manor seem to be, if the half-conscious kind-of-maybe siblings using Duke as a body pillow are any indication. When did he sign up for this?

Ghosts Of The Past by PlatitudinalTeen

duke & martha, thomas, duke & bruce

7.2k words, 1 chapter

Shortly after moving into Wayne manor, Duke discovers he can commune with the dead when his grandparents, Thomas and Martha Wayne begin to accidentally haunt him. ------- "No powers?" Duke repeated, even more confused as he tried to recall everything he had ever heard about Ghosts. "So, you can't possess anyone or make the lights flicker? What about telekinesis and all the other scary stuff from the books and movies?" "Those things can only be achieved by malicious spirits, dear," Martha told him. "We may be ghosts, but we aren't vengeful." They had made peace with their deaths, and even if they were still tied to the manor, it was exactly where they wanted to be. Thomas chuckled. "Yes, that's more of our son's department," he quipped, using his fingers to mimic Batman's ears. "Vengeance is a young man's game, really."

Starshine by zodarii_dae

duke & bruce, reverse robins

3.6k words, 1 chapter

Duke Thomas is a Gothamite, through and through. There’s not a lot he knows for certain, but he knows that the bagels are great, that Bruce Wayne is stupid rich, and that Batman will always protect him. That’s just how it is. So when Batman promises to bring him to his family, he believes him. Neither of them expected it to happen quite the way it did, but it all works out for the best. Or How Duke loses his parents, gains a new family, and becomes a vigilante- in that order, with some stuff in between.

necessary reminders by Quillium

duke & batfam

5.2k words, 1 chapter

Duke, as Signal becomes known and as Duke becomes part of the Wayne family.

*ao3 acc needed

hope you enjoy !!!

[whoseyscientist]

BEST BATMAN FICS I’VE READ 3 BRUCE WAYNE FOCUSED

Hihoo Here’s some more crazy good batman fics with a particular focus on the sad angsty man in the bat suit because I love him so! Mix of gen/batfam and shipping stuff cause I just wish him well in life c:

As I was making this list I realised alot of them were one-shots huh the more you know- mix of mainly one-shots and the occasional epic lengths lol

= General/ Batfam =

Nominal

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8613352

Don't ask why Batman is sad unless you're willing to give him the time to consult his spreadsheet.

(legitimately?? funniest batman fic I’ve ever read, one-shot) 

The Jason Project

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19899613

Jason had just wanted to see his autopsy report, he had only wanted to know what information Bruce had about his death. And when Bruce hadn't given it to him, he had stolen it. He hadn’t meant to stumble upon the bucket list of a dead child and the footage of a grieving father crossing one item after another off the list.

(^ short, sweet and very emotional)

More Precious Than Gold

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13273611/chapters/30371190

Most dragons sleep on their hoards.

Bruce's hoard sleeps on him.

Or: Bruce is a dragon. Predictably, he hoards orphans.

(so, so goddamn cute, two shot)

Manor-Dad lets me drive the Batmobile

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19002637/chapters/45125308

Bruce had two options when Dick found the Cave. 1) Tell him the truth. 2) Go along with Dick’s excited “You’re dating Batman!” until he figured out the truth.

Several children later Bruce wished he’d gone with option 1) or he wouldn’t have to deal with all his kids believing he and Batman were separate people. Yes, even Damian.

(Unfinished but still so very funny, crazy good fic)

dad time

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20434550

five times the justice league misinterpreted batman's actions + one time they absolutely did not

(Bruce just proudly showing off his kids in League business is so canon lmao, one shot, also this author in general has some quality batfam content legit)

Cingulomania (Sometimes, Dad Needs a Hug)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690424#main

‘Right,’ Tim said, in the voice he used on missions, ‘we’re going to have to call in an expert.’ * ‘Hey guys!’ Dick said, voice slightly crackly over Tim’s phone speakers. ‘What’s up? I’m not supposed to visit until tomorrow - is something wrong?’ - Something is seriously not right with Bruce. They’re a family of detectives and no one can figure it out. It’s kind of embarrassing.

They’re all starting to get worried. - (Sometimes, Bruce needs a hug.)

(^ Feeding my bruce is touch starved agenda quite nicely, one shot)

A Hero Lost

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40358904/chapters/101096682#workskin

When Jason Todd died on that fateful April day, Bruce was tempted to just... stop. To let the world know he was Batman, and that it'd just lost a hero in Jason Todd.

And so he did.

It didn't keep him from mourning the death of his son.

Or: Bruce quits being Batman in the wake of Jason's death, tells the world who he is, then retires to Montana and slowly finds healing. And when Jason comes back to life six months later, and Talia tells him 'you remain unavenged,' he can't find any evidence to support that, so he goes home.

(^ Truly, truly beautiful, it’s a short read but very much worth it)

In For a Pound Series

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17558375/chapters/41378861

25 is too young to be a Dad. That's what Bruce thought when Talia dropped off this baby she claimed was his. Add to that a jealous 11-year-old Dick, and Bruce has his hands full. What does one even do with a baby? Why does this baby scowl so much? And when on earth is Talia coming back?

(^ Very good series with some very fun batfam shenanigans)

Matches

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8074405

What in the hell kind of name for an alias is Matches?

(one-shot, silly, very funny dialogue- bruce is so awkwardly charming I love it)

= Shipping =

Whoever Falls First

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7679041

"There's more kryptonite out there. When the Superman returns, there's going to be an all-star battle royale in the criminal underworld. Every megalomaniacal freak will want a piece of it so they can get a piece of you. And some of them will manage. They'll weaponize it and won't hesitate to use it against you, and when that happens I will not have you flailing around like an idiot."

aka: Bruce teaches Clark how to fight.

(have I recommended this before? I can’t remember, either way it’s immaculately written, superbat one-shot)

pull out the pin

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42361755

Revulsion curled in Clark’s gut, instinctual and sudden. He knew, without knowing how, that the creature wearing Bruce’s face was not Bruce.

“Oh boy,” Not-Bruce cracked its neck, turning its grin on the rest of the group, “You do not want to be in this head, let me tell you.”

(superbat and sooo good, also do yourself a favour and just read all of this authors stuff, its always a banger)

Dilectus Meus Mihi...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/301669/chapters/482974

Clark Kent has lost all his memories of being Superman, and Bruce Wayne must retrain him in the use of his powers. But his super-powered identity isn't all he's forgotten...

(two shot, fun and sweet, just superbat falling in love again <3)

my body is an orphanage (we take everyone in)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12683415

He can stand in a room with the League members and receive surreptitious glances from each one of them individually, each one of them trying to communicate with the intensity of their eyes some sort of camaraderie with Bruce, us against the world, which would be funny, would be far less bitter and ironic, if he wasn’t so desperate to affirm with each of them in turn, yes, you are my friend, for better or for worse.

So he lets them have sex with him because it seems like that means a lot to them.

(^ ace bruce!- incredibly bittersweet with a very sweet ending, poor bruce man :c)

ship-to-ship combat

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39666915/chapters/99302841

"Clark. What the hell is this," Lois asks, staring at Clark's Bruceman WIP folder. Clark's first instinct is to fly away, but that would still leave his fic on display for her to see. His second instinct is to blast a hole straight through his laptop screen with his heat vision, which isn't much better.

Clark, in an attempt to make some spare cash, unintentionally stumbles into the world of superhero fanfiction, becomes a prolific writer for Gotham's OTP, and tries his best to fend off rival fans who want him to convert to superbat instead.

(^ i really just assume everyones already heard of this one cause it’s just- really well written but its superbat and bruceman(LOL) it’s un-finished but hilarious and surprisingly real and emotional)

as to which may be the true

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7880368/chapters/17998981#main

It isn't difficult to go on in the wake of Superman's death. His resurrection, though, poses a problem—especially when it turns out there's no such thing as the right moment to explain that Martha Kent's obnoxious billionaire friend? Is also the man who tried really hard to shove a kryptonite spear through Clark's face.

(I love post resurrection content it’s so good, superbat)

Nine Tenths

https://archiveofourown.org/works/426785

In which the man who's faster than a speeding bullet is pretty slow on the uptake. Bruce corrects this problem the only way he knows how: by being smarter than the average bat. Stark is more than willing to lend a hand.

(this is so cute, gotta love some jealous superbat, also Clark being the one that hates a random hero for literally no reason is fucking hilarious I love it everytime lol)

Remembering Normal

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11494842/chapters/25786338

Hal Jordan is a totally normal alpha, and definitely NOT gay. At all. Like, even a little. Except there was this once. . .

(steamyy, this author has such an insane grasp on bruce and hal as characters its actually insane, their lvl of dialogue is something I aspire for, batlantern)

Late Night Talks

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34941634

Two-face's new partner looks a lot like Bruce Wayne. Surely that doesn't mean anything...

(Twobat, oneshot and the first introduction I’ve ever had to two face/matches malone)

[castrian-amore]

Bitter, had the Heart

Dead Tired(Danny Fenton x Tim Drake), Tim Drake Centric, unfinished, the author is plotting, temporary Character death, please check out ao3 for full Tags list

2/46 chapters | Chapter Length: 4676 words

TWS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Cannon-Typical violence, mild gore, graphic depictions of injury and fixing said injury, trauma

Chapter 2: The time Jason Todd Accidentally Adopted a puppy

Jason had met Distortion in an interesting way. Anyone who had met or interacted with the guy could say that. He himself was an interesting person. Mysterious mostly.

Another person infected by the pits. 

Distortion was young. Younger and more skilled than even most who worked for him on the streets. He held himself like a king with smirks and sarcasm hiding his true emotions. He was silly and he was fun and it gave Jason’s heart a ping through the years they had known each other. 

Distortion first showed up in Jason’s life 3 years ago sitting the stupidest way on his chair. Head hanging. Goggles covering his eyes on a cracked and broken iPhone. Feet draped over the top. He was also bleeding… a lot. 

Blood mixed with the murky pit water green that haunted his vision. He was delirious having given himself apparently the remains of a morphine shot to deal with the pain so he could even get there. 

He looked so young and helpless even as he sat up walking over to talk to the gang leader, and promptly dropped in front of Jason unable to hold himself up any longer. 

“I need your help…” he whispered. He didn’t have a mask on then… his teeth stained with blood as he weakly smiled in Jason’s arms. “You’re the only one who could ever help me… another Revenant.” 

The aching pool of anger in his soul had been quiet that day. It was quiet a lot of the days Distortion was around . Whatever pit waters flowing through Distortion’s veins existed thick enough to Calm Jason’s torrential waves. Jason didn’t mind when he was around because of this. 

“Kid you’re…”

“Dying? Tell me about it, if we can,”a wet cough escapes his lips as the blood hits Jason’s shirt. “If we can cauterize the wound I can explain it better but—“

“You need to live first.” 

Cue a shaky nod.

And Distortion did explain. He explained a lot. 

“What you and I are? Different but similar made from two different types of the same substance. You were made from stuff that’s been far too corrupted. An unfiltered and dirty substance and I was made from the stuff straight from the tap, pure, filtered.” 

He had promptly passed out though and Jason left him on his couch. His employees wouldn’t ask about the ungodly screams they heard in his office as they cauterize the wound. Or the amount of water and snacks he would bring up in the following days and weeks of Jason slowly forming an attachment to the kid. He healed faster than most would have, only proving his point of them being two sides of the same coin. Opposites but the same really. Both pit children. Distortion never said the word pit. He didn’t like to talk about it too much except when it became necessary too. 

At first their relationship was simple. Distortion owed Jason for saving him, and hiding him. Jason, for once, insisted it was fine, but the masked man stuck around. It was a slow thing at first. Dis insisted on supervising deliveries when Jason was busy. Then keeping an eye out for members he saw on Jason’s desk reporting to him when he saw them. He soon became a consistent part of his daily life and operations. 

It came at a cost for Dis though, and Jason knew it. When the bats came around he disappeared only coming back two days later exactly. He kept under the radar. His smiley bright personality was a beacon of good in Jason’s life for the first 6 months of their partnership. He turned a blind eye to Jason’s murdering and questionable actions at times. Not that he did it too much any more. It was partly a deal for keeping Bruce off of his back. 

“Don’t you have school?”Jason finally had asked after month six of the teen always hanging around. The kid was laying at the very top of a huge stack of crates and boxes in Jason’s main warehouse and office. Most of it was mundane supplies. Dis was reading a novel. One namely Jason had given him to read to get the kid to leave him alone for a few hours knowing the kid would eventually get bored. 

“Nope,”Dis popped his P on his words and rolled over to look down at him setting the book off to the side. “I don’t exist. I died.” 

“Right..”Jason had sighed and rubbed his forehead. Mask on his face. He opted for the mask rather than the helmet when doing  mundane tasks around his office. If he needed to go out with the bats he could more than likely end up having to put it on. 

“Do you want too? You know? Finish school. Go to college?” Jason asked, looking up at the kid who climbed down with far more speed than a normal human jumping and doing a flip to get off the last bit. He was fast, even comparatively to Damian or Dick. 

“I like doing this. Keeping an eye out on things that I need too.” 

“You never told me what you’re keeping an eye out for Dis. If you tell me, I can help you.” 

A solid frown settling into his face. 

“I can’t bother you with it.” 

“Kid, yes you can. You and I have to stick together, you know that.”

“I don’t have too. I could leave at any time I wanted too.” A frown settling across his face slowly. 

“You can and you do. You know I never ask questions. I never press you for anything you never wanna tell me, but you’re a fucking teenage. You should be going to school and studying. I have a program you can join. I can get you a fake identity. No one will be any the wiser.” Except the bats, but he would do anything to make sure Dis stayed far far under their radar. He’d been managing it for months, and he could continue doing it as long as necessary.

“But I should be here to help you. Keep an eye out for you. To-to look out for the entire reason I can’t leave!” 

“You can leave Dis. You can leave anytime you want to.” 

“I don’t- I can’t!”The kid exclaimed. Now Jason was confused. The kid couldn’t leave despite just saying he could. Maybe he knew he could leave Jason, but when where couldn’t he leave from? 

“I would much prefer you stay close Dis.. if I’m being honest.” A quiet moment of realness. It wasn’t that much of a surprise that Jason had gotten attached. It seemed to trigger something in Distortion that night though.  

“I don’t have a choice in that matter, Hood!” He had exclaimed back and looking back on that night two and a half years ago maybe Dis had been revealing so much to him but he couldn’t see it. He was trying to help Dis and all Dis was giving him was attitude. 

“I can’t just leave Gotham like you! I can’t just go off and do research in this city. All my answers lie in this cursed city, her streets winding and painful and blood soaked and never giving me anything useful!” 

“She gave you me..” Jason had admitted whole heartedly maybe more sentimental than he had meant for it too. ‘She gave you this friendship we share. Our connection. Only we can relate to each other. If we separate, where does that leave us, alone? Again?”

“I’ve been operating alone, Hood, for longer than you know.” 

“And so have I?! I enjoy your company. Is that too much to ask that I want to make sure you’re cared for and have all the options for success? I’ve always treated you as a fucking equal, yet now I see you’re nothing more than a child.”  

“And you’re nothing more than a fool who can’t see the obvious in front of him.” 

“Fine. You don’t want to take up my offer of school, you don’t want to talk to me? Like an adult? I want to help you Dis. You know I do. I want to see you succeed and find whatever it is you’re looking for. Whatever it is you’re patiently waiting for it to happen, but if you’re not going to treat me as an equal back then we have nothing more to say to each other Dis.” Hood had gone too far and even he had realized that. He had been a mentor to this kid. He had let the kid look up to him and now that kid was seeing his mentor betray him. A feeling far too reminiscent of his own past for his liking. 

It re-awoke the pit lingering in his soul again. That anger was back. 

“Good bye, Hood.” 

“Dis… I’m sorry.” 

“No. You’re right. I’m a child.” Dis looked up at Hood. For a second the man thought he could see piercing angry and broken blue eyes behind his goggles. A familiar look. And he left the building the door slamming behind him. He cared far more for that kid than he cared to admit.  

Even the bats had noticed his anger return. They had questioned him about it but he had explained he had it handled and not to worry. Dick had confronted him about away from everyone too asking if he had been in a relationship but even he couldn’t hide everything from his eldest brother. Dick could see through him. Even if he saw it the wrong way. Jason moved on. He had no choice. 

But the thing with Dis was that he had shitty timing. Shitty and meaningly timing lined up with stupid puns that made you snort and sarcasm that left you unable to breath from laughter. So as Jason stepped into one of his safehouses mask off completely having just gotten out from a fight that for sure broke one of his ribs and even had the bats called. He called them and then bolted. Let the batman and the demon handle that one. Not under his supervision. They didn’t have to know he had even been there at all. 

He had realized he was not alone. Met with the heart wrenching scene of a much more worn Dis. The man was pale. Paler than last time which he hadn’t even known was possible. The man leaned against the wall with a tray in front of him a few bullets sitting neatly in it. Hands shaking pretty badly blood pooling around him. 

“Shit,”he whispers out with a smile across his face. “Hiya Hood.”

And Jason’s heart shatters. He goes on autopilot running to his bathroom and grabbing the rest of his emergency first aid kneeling next to Dis. The man pulls his goggles off of his head and throws them to the side and Jason could feel his heart drop. He was so tired. Deep circles sat under Dis’ eyes. An all too familiar blue staring back at Jason. 

“What, you had your mask off it’s only fair.” If Dis hadn’t had that stupid ability to calm the Pit inside of him he would already be wanting to go off and kill whatever or whoever it was that decided to fuck with one of his own. His Dis. His bro-- 

“Have I ever told you about my past at all?”A nervous chuckle escapes from his lips. 

“Dis, I swear to fucking god you’re not dying today.”He hisses getting the others familair branded jacket off of him and lifting the black shirt up a bit to see the extent of the damage. This was not good. 4 bullet holes. He leaned him forwards. Only one exit wound. Dis had managed to get one out by himself but that left two more inside of him. 

“I know… maybe. I don’t even know if I can die, right?” A slow deep breath from the kid as he seemed to debate on taking another. On if he wanted to take another or if he wanted to just give up then and there. 

“Trust me your pulse says otherwise kid,”Jason hisses and moved to lay Dis on the floor grabbing a pillow from his couch to put under his couch. “Talk to me. What about your past did you want to tell me?”

“I died by electrocution, you know? I have the lichtenberg scars and everything. It was a lab accident.” 

“Sounds not much more pleasant than mine. I was beaten to death with a crowbar,”Jason admits just trying to keep him talking. His shirt rolled up, he poured the disinfectant alcohol over a pair of tweezers. “Keep talking Distortion.” 

“I was 13 about to turn 14 when my parents-- their experiment failed and fuck I was so dumb and my friends convinced me to go inside of it, and it turned on with me inside,”A sob escaped his lips as Jason forced the tweezers in his abdomen and Danny grit his teeth letting out a cry. “And now I can’t even go home to tell them how much I was sorry I was gone for so long.” 

“You never left Gotham.” 

“I can’t.” 

“Dis…” 

“If I’m going to die someone needs to know my name. The ancients will come for me eventually right? I’ll be a ghost… i'm in their hands at that point.”

“You’re not going to die Dis--”

“My name is Danny.” 

Jason found the bullet pulling it out and setting it in the tray. The kid was crying. Jason moved to get the other one out. Talking. Wait yes. Talking. Keep the kid talking. 

“Nice to meet you Danny… I’m Jason.” 

He went to the other bullet causing the other to cry out in pain again ice spreading around them catching him off guard. He barely had time to get the bullet out before things wanted to ice over. The temperature in the room plummeted. Even for a meta Danny’s pain tolerance was high. It showed just how much he had grown accustomed to the streets. 

“You’re a meta?” Jason asks softly making sure there was no malice in his voice. A weak laugh escaped Danny’s lips panting in pain. A tear slipping down his cheek.  

“Yeah, sorry. Forgot to mention that, I got cold feet you know?” 

Jason snorted. There he was. There was his kid. He was bad at puns ,but… Danny needed something to cling too. He continued to talk, and the more he did, the more his heart broke. Danny apparently had had two friends named Sam and Tucker. They were his ride or die. He told Jason of his sister who protected him and practically raised him amongst their household of neglectful and abusive parents who barely fed or paid them any mind. Jason was glad he had gotten away. When Jason had asked about that Danny had gone quiet. He stitched Danny up and had him drink water and have a snack. He treated Danny’s smaller wounds. A broken rid or two and his arm had been fractured from what Jason could tell. 

Their relationship had gotten much better… 

Jason had nursed his own broken ribs as he spent the next few weeks taking care of the kid. The man being in and out of consciousness for the next week and a half. A few times Jason wasn’t sure he was going to make it. 

Even as he healed though Jason realized just how sickly he looked. Those dark circles never went away. His skin remained pale. He remained looking sickly. Jason had asked him about that too but he brushed it off like it was nothing. 

The two lived separately as the next year passed. Jason privately funding Danny’s college at Gotham U. The man acting on his own and doing what he wanted. 

“You’re getting too close Danny.”

“You’re being overbearing again Jason,”Danny stuck his tongue out at the older man reading a text book while laying on the couch. The TV on going on about something from space. Jason threw his phone on top of the book. 

“Okay so I got seen I got caught! They didn’t track me. They’re not going to find me. I won’t let them.” 

Jason tried not to notice how sickly he had grown. Lessened appetite. Sunken in cheeks. Dark circles, always tired. Always just exhausted. The young adult was pushing himself and he was getting sicker. Prone to getting fevers that were especially dangerous for the ice meta. One time Jason had to throw Danny in the river to get him to cool down enough in the middle of winter because he couldn’t get ice to the apartment much faster. It was what worked, he guessed. 

“You’re my underling to them Danny! I’ve kept you under their radar for 3 fucking years!” Jason poked fun at him as he moved to make food for them both. They had a habit of forgetting but Jason and Danny had dinner once a month at the very least. More common than Jason would go see his actual family. They tended to stop by unannounced which was why Jason and Danny always had their dinners at Danny’s place which was right past Crime Alley. Leaving was the main thing he normally had to keep an eye out for. 

Jason’s eyes scanned across Danny’s apartment. College textbooks scattered around the area. The TV didn’t work so he had gotten rid of it ages ago replacing it with a desk with his laptop on top. Maps of the stars were painted on the walls haphazardly. A topic Danny seemed to enjoy and he enjoyed listening to him talk about in the first place. It was like watching the kid light up. 

“Taking your medicine?”Jason asked despite knowing the answer as he opened the medicine cabinet where the mostly filled container sat. 

“Uhhh… yeah. I did.” 

“Liar.” 

“Nosey bitch.” 

“Says you.” 

Danny flipped him off as  he caught the container that was thrown at him giving him a final sticking out of his tongue. Danny opened the container pulling out the pill making eye contact with Jason before popping it into his mouth and swallowing. 

“You’re like trying to get a child to take their vitamins I swear to god,”Jason rolled his eyes as Danny threw the container back at him. Jason had convinced the man to take some sort of medicine for his shitty body. Danny refused a doctor and all of those tests so they had to make due. Danny took a lot of medicine overall. Some anti-anxiety medication, depression meds(that jason may or may not have been supposed to be taking), as well as some medicine to help with his heart. His heart acted up a lot and it gave Danny a lot of issues in school. Jason swore it wasn’t just his meta powers affecting the man. His heart also didn’t help his already naturally cold body. 

“Nah this is easier than you trying to get me to read a classic novel.” 

“They’re good Danny.” 

“They’re old Jason,”Danny replied snapping his own textbook shut. Jason catching glimpse of the cover. 

“Reading up on the transdimensional portal theory?”he chuckles. 

“It’s interesting, okay! Didn’t that one dude, what’s his name apart of the super hero girl scout club thingy? He runs really fast?” God did Jason love this kid. 

“You mean Flash.” 

“YEAH HIM! Didn’t he manage to do it once?” Maybe one day Jason could introduce Danny to his family. One day when Danny wasn’t investigating a very serious murder. One day when he wasn’t so sickly. He also just wanted Danny to look the justice league in the face and mis-name them all. The kid recognized no one. Even now he’d never been out of the city and rather didn’t care for anything outside of it anyways. Jason tried to take him  to Bludhaven once and still, to no avail. 

“I think so,”Jason grabbed a pan and began to cook the impossible meat for their tacos. He moved to cut some tacos and other vegetables. Was that a fucking batarang?

“Did you get attacked by one of the Bats?!?”Jason exclaimed looking over at Danny. 

“Uhhhhh… no?”

“Danny!” 

“I’m fine just hit me in the leg!” 

“Let me see it you dumb fuck.” 

“Bitch.” 

“I’m the one taking care of you!”

“Ancients your worse than Jazz,”he groaned moving to set his hand on the table rolling up his pants to show a neatly wrapped wound that was bleeding through. Cue a groan from Jason as he walked over sitting on the coffee table and moving Danny’s leg into his lap as he unwrapped it to double check the wound. He knew Danny could take care of himself. That was an unspoken rule with how injured he constantly got. Like he was used to fighting a different way than he currently did. 

The wound was clean, all of the bats kept their batarangs sharp so he was thankfully for that. “This needs stitches Danny…”

“It’s not that bad,”Danny tried to move to rewrap the wound but Jason stopped him giving him a dangerous look and Danny’s hands went up. 

“Okay fine.” He leaned back arms crossed. Jason could tell he was a little upset. He got up being gentle with his leg setting it off to the side going for Danny’s first aid kit and moving to get to work on sewing the wound shut. Danny flinched and occasionally made a small noise of discomfort but he handled it well. 

“Wanna talk about that case of yours since I’m going to be covering your ass until forever if you don’t lay the fuck, low.” A mild threat. 

“15 bodies! 15! The oldest dating back to when we first met in Gotham. They were slow at first you know? Only 2 murders the first year, each one more gruesome than the last. 5 the second year and now on year 3 and we have 8 within the first 6 months. These numbers? They’re only going to grow.” 

“Each one with the same traits. Missing heart. Tortured victims. Ghost Speak on the walls.” A defining indifference between when. Danny constantly joked he was far closer to being dead than alive with Jason. He just a ‘hop skip and a jump’ away or really Danny’s favorite line he just had to jump 2 times ‘till he was among the dead and maybe do a little cha cha real smooth on his way over. Danny knew ghost speak. Was fluent in reading, writing, and speaking it but he wasn’t far enough over to the dead side to automatically know it. Danny’d been teaching him though.

“And an occasional missing kidney that someone wanted for a snack,” Jason clarified having heard the details of this case 20 times over.

“The ghost speak is the same every time,”he groaned as Jason hit a particularly harsh part of the stitching. “Belong, to live, to die, again, trust not the living friend.” 

“That’s so cryptic.” 

“You’re telling me I’ve been staring at it in my notes for 3 years.” 

“You can’t leave the city until you solve the case?” 

“I refuse to leave the city until I solve this case,”Danny clarified. 

“Then you’ll continue to work on college, besides I like our monthly dinners.” 

“You’re acting like I wouldn’t come back?” 

“Wouldn’t you? You’ve known this place and only this place for a while. I wouldn’t shame you for not wanting to spend a second more here.”

“I don’t think I could stay away from Gotham even if I tired,”Danny shrugged. “She has a way of drawing people who need to be here back.”  

“So any hints on who’s doing these murders?”

“Someone who knows Ghost Speech?” 

“Wow, what a lead.” 

“They’re leaving trace amounts of ectoplasm around so they’re either a revenant like you and I,”a lie. He had known the kid had been lying saying he was a revenant. He was something more really. Even Jason could pick that up, but if the kid didn’t wanna tell him he sure as hell wasn’t going to pry. “Or they’re a full ghost but Gotham only has so much ectoplasm to go around you know? And I mean I—“he cut himself off. 

“And you?” 

“And I know that getting the pure shit is hard as fuck. This shit is pure,”he reaches across to grab a vile on the table. Uncorking it and giving it a swirl. “Hard to find in this area especially. So he must have either a portal or something to keep himself together, he’ll need something to sustain himself with especially with how powerful he is if he’s showing up and doing this much damage.” 

“And your final theory?”

“It’s a ghost. A powerful one that’s making Gotham it’s haunt.” 

“Can you take care of it alone?” 

“In this state? No.” 

“Do you want to take a risk?” 

“… what is it.” Jason finished wrapping his leg going to to check on the food. 

“What if we finally make you known to the bats. It’ll drive Red Robin insane he hadn’t noticed you sneaking around for such a long time and on top of that you knowing more about his case than he does.” 

“You just want to see my entire existence fuck with the bats don’t you?” 

“Maybe, besides.. they have resources maybe we can talk to them about your condition Danny.” 

“No. I’ll work with them. They do not get to know about my heart. It isn’t a problem in the field.” 

“Admit it, your heart is dying you fucking need surgery Danny!” 

“I’m fine,” a low growl escaped Danny’s throat. 

“No you’re not! We are just praying this medicine is working and the more you use your abilities the more strain it puts on you as a whole let alone on your heart! You keep using them and you’ll be dead.”The cold green eyes glare caught his attention and Jason knew to back off as he finished their food. Push Danny too far and it would trigger his abilities even more and while Jason wouldn’t be affected who knows how thick the ice would be across the apartment. He set tacos in front of him to distract them as they put on some cheesy book movie, Pride and prejudice. Well Jason didn’t have think it was cheesy, Danny on the other hand? Thought it was dumb as all hell. He put up with it because Jason asked him too. A sign He wasn’t that mad at the elder. 

The night was quiet after that. Maybe Jason had pushed a little too far. He opened his phone after Danny had passed out on his shoulder shooting a text to the group chat between him, Dick and Tim. 

Little Wing is Online🟢

Little Wing: I have a friend who says he’s willing to finally meet you guys

Tim’s reply was almost instantaneous. 

Baby Bird is Online 🟢

Baby Bird: Is it distortion?

Little Wing: The one and only. 

Big Bird: Who is that?

Baby Bird: Do you ever go offline Greyson?

Big Bird: Bold of you to assume I sleep

Baby Bird: And you think I do?

Big Bird: Touchè; anyways who are we meeting?

Baby Bird: A new vigilante

Big Bird: ohhhh, when and where Little Wing!

Little Wing: Friday. Midnight, my warehouse. Bats doesn’t find out yet. He’s hesitant about even meeting you.

Big Bird: Wait who is Distortion exactly and why are we meeting him?

Baby Bird: How were you ever a Robin?

Big Bird: My charms 💅💅💅💅

Little Wing has gone Offline 🔴

Big Bird: NOOOOOOO BABY BRO COME BACK I NEED TO GET A GOOD A ROAST IN BEFORE YOU LEAVE

Baby Bird: You’ll get him next time old man. 

Big Bird: YOU LITTLE 

Baby Bird has gone Offline 🔴

Big Bird: ALL ALONEEEEEEEEEE

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Please click here to continue reading on Archive

[ragingbookdragon]

Make All The Cookies

Batmom x Batfamily One-Shot

Word Count: 1.5K Warnings: Explicit Language

Author's Note: Edited and titled changed! Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

The manor was quiet as he walked through it, making his way to the bedroom from the cave. His sons had gone off to bed in the earlier hours after they’d gotten home from patrol, his wife kissing his cheek and going off to bed as well, too tired to deal with whatever he was still working on—Bruce could tell she was overworked by the way she had tiredly told him goodnight and wandered up the stairs, leaning on her eldest sons the entire time.

He rolled his shoulders as he reached the stairs to the second floor, and as he put his foot on the first one, he stilled his movement, the sound of metal clanging together coming from down the hall in the kitchen. He frowned, mind shooting out different scenarios of who could be in the kitchen. One of the boys getting up for a snack? Alfred preparing something for breakfast the night before?

Unsure of which one it was, and he turned, feet carrying him to the breakfast room. The closer he got, the more sounds he could hear, and he wondered what exactly was happening inside. He turned the corner, expecting to see one of his sons raiding the fridge of all the sweets or fruits, but was greeted by the sight of his wife stirring something in a bowl, leaning against the island whilst humming some song she’d heard on the radio.

A small smile graced his lips as he watched her pick up a bag of chocolate chips and pour a handful into her mouth before she tipped the bag and poured them into the bowl. She went back to mixing, still oblivious to him until he stepped inside and up behind her. “What are you doing up so late, sweetheart?”

She spun around with a sharp curse, one hand clutching the bowl to her chest, the other pointing the spatula at him. As she realized who she was staring at, she heaved a sigh, setting down the bowl and tossing the spatula in it. “Jesus Bruce, you scared the shit out of me.”

He grinned and wrapped an arm around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. “Sorry (Y/N), wasn’t my intention to.” She hummed at him absentmindedly, pulling the pan towards her and starting the process of rolling the cookie dough. Bruce shifted, wrapping his other arm around her waist, his chest pressed to her back. “You never answered my question.”

(Y/N) rolled a ball of dough between her hands. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Is something bothering you?” Bruce asked, pressing his lips to her shoulder.

She shrugged, placing the dough on the cookie sheet before grabbing more. “It’s not important dear…just work stuff.”

“If it’s important to you, it’s important to me.” He shifted, nuzzling her neck and quipping, “And if it’s work stuff, it involves Wayne Enterprises…what’s going on?”

(Y/N)’s hands stilled, and after a moment, she leaned back into his chest, her head dropping to rest back against his shoulder. “I’ve got three board meeting before this weekend, I have a meeting about the modeling line on Saturday, I’ve got a meeting with Damian’s teacher about a kid he’s been arguing with all week, and to top it off—”

She pointed at the refrigerator and griped, “Some turd-nugget used the rest of the salted butter and I had to use unsalted for the cookies.” She gestured to the bowl. “You don’t put unsalted butter in cookies! You use salted because it gives more flavor! How am I supposed to make my famous chocolate chip cookies without the correct ingredients?”

Bruce observed her for a moment before shifting an arm, picking up a ball of cookie dough and popping it into his mouth, much to (Y/N)’s irritation. He chewed and swallowed, then shrugged. “Tastes fine to me. Can’t even tell the difference.”

(Y/N) narrowed her eyes at him and picked up the spatula, pointing in his direction. “You do that again and I’m gonna smack the shit out of your hand, clear?”

Bruce smiled at her and wrapped his arm back around her waist. “So, why don’t you just let Lucius handle the board meetings sweetheart?”

She scoffed, hands rolling another ball. “And dump more work onto him than he already handles? No, I need to do my part too.” She jutted her chin out to a glass across the island. “Hand me my water, please.” Bruce obliged, picking her water glass up and handing it to her; she took a sip before setting it down and telling him, “Wash you hands and help me roll the rest of these cookies, please.” He nodded, moving to the sink and rinsing his hands before walking back over.

They worked in silence, and before they knew it, (Y/N) was popping the cookie pan in the oven and setting the timer. They rested against the kitchen island, (Y/N) resting her head on his arm. She watched the oven for a moment, then sighed, “I can’t believe my immediate reaction to stress is to bake cookies.”

Bruce snorted at her. “At least you don’t stress clean like Jason does.” (Y/N) nodded in agreement, shifting and burying her face in his chest, feeling his arms rest across her back. Bruce leaned down, lips brushing just beside her ear. “You don’t have to take on the world, sweetheart…it’s okay to take a moment for yourself.”

She nodded against his chest, turning her head so that she could see him. “I don’t really want to do the meetings this week.”

“Then call Lucius and ask him to cover for you, and I’ll handle the modeling agency and Damian’s teacher…sound good?”

(Y/N) nodded, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. “What about my cookies?”

Bruce chuckled lowly. “I’m afraid that ship’s already sailed, sweetheart.” Before she could respond, the timer beeped and Bruce said, “Speaking of ship, looks like it’s found a harbor.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, pulling away and putting on an oven-mitt, opening the oven and pulling out the pan. She set it on a trivet and pulled the mitt off, tossing it aside and moving back into Bruce’s arms. “I need to make more cookies…I’m still stressed.”

Bruce hummed, reaching up and massaging her shoulders. “How about we stress eat these cookies you just baked?” He tipped his head back and asked, “Does that sound like a better idea?”

Whatever response she had was cut off as four boys stumbled into the kitchen. “We smell cookies.”

Bruce and (Y/N) looked over to see Dick and Jason standing there, Tim and Damian wrapped around their backs; (Y/N) huffed a laugh at the sight. “They just came out of the oven, so they’re still hot.”

Jason stepped forward, leaning over and plucking one from the pan and holding it up. “Hot or not, they’re cookies…we’ll take ‘em.” He waved the cookie. “Oi, Timberly.” He glanced back and sighed, shaking his shoulders. “Timmy, wake up, I’ve got a cookie for you.”

Tim stuck out a hand, sleepily responding, “Gimme.” Jason handed it to him, and he held it, head dropping back against his shoulder. Dick laughed and picked two up, handing one to Damian, keeping the other for himself. The two parents watched their sons descend on the freshly baked cookies, smiles on their faces.

Jason looked up from his and said, “These are good, mom.”

The others, save Tim who’d fallen back asleep, nodded, and (Y/N) smiled at them. “Thank you, baby.”

Footsteps came from down the hallway, and they all turned to see Alfred stepping in the kitchen. He gestured to the kitchen and the family eating cookies. “What on earth has happened to my kitchen! And are you eating before breakfast!”

No one said a word, too afraid to until (Y/N) stepped forward, pointing at the others. “Alfred, I woke up and came in here and they were eating cookies. I told them that you would be angry if you came in here, but they didn’t listen.” The others gave shouts.

“What?!”

“That’s not true!”

“You’re the one who made the cookies, (Y/N).”

She turned to her husband, a smirk on her face. “No, I’m not. I only use salted butter in my cookies.” (Y/N) plucked the empty butter box from the counter. “Whoever made these, used unsalted butter.” Bruce’s face morphed in shock and she turned back to Alfred. “I think it’s safe to say that you can handle their punishments, Alfie?”

He nodded, crossing his arms across his chest. “Of course, Missus Wayne.” He glared at the others. “I can certainly handle it.”

(Y/N) smiled as she grabbed one of the cookies, pressing her lips to Bruce’s cheek and whispering, “Thank you for handling my affairs, husband. You’re such a dear.”

He glared as she pulled away and hissed, “And you’re a witch. A temptress of a witch whom I love, but a witch nonetheless.”

(Y/N) winked as she backed out of the kitchen. “Goodnight boys! Have fun cleaning up the kitchen!”

[stressedoutcanary]

Family Matters - Batfamily x Reader

Summary: A surprise birthday party and Batfamily being chaotic.

“That's it Dick just a little to the right...No the other right...No! Not there you goofus! Just...Just get down from the chandelier before it comes crashing down on the rest of us and For God's Sake let Duke handle the ribbons before you somehow strangle yourself with them”

Warnings ⚠️: Fluff, lots of it, angst because I can’t help myself, Reader has got some parental issues. Hurt/Comfort.

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: I wanted some good dad Bruce content so I did it myself. Also I might have been influenced by a post I made a while back about Bruce and his children. I haven't used reader's pronouns anywhere so it's kinda gender neutral.

I don’t know where I was going with this, my imagines are often like a train derailed from its track but I think it’s fine. So Enjoy ;)  

•°•°•°•°

"Focus (Y/S/N), don't jump in in blind, assessing what action your opponent is about to undertake and countering it out before they can complete that action, this is the key lesson for you today", Batman's commanding voice echoed in the enclosed area of the batcave as he observed you attempting to roundhouse kick the boy in front of you. It was rather rashly executed with the hope of knocking him down which, for obvious reasons, only ended up with your leg connecting with nothing but thin air.

'Damn he is fast when he actually tries.'

"Easy for you to say Old Man! You aren't the one dancing with Mister Duckboy, the teen wonder over here!", you exclaimed, panting as your chest heaved from the exertion.

"Duckboy?!", Tim looked near scandalized as you grinned in return, stealing a glance towards the giggling crowd gathered near the stairs.

Everyone was already in the cave, it was a rare occurrence, it happened only when the issues of upmost importance were being discussed. Today was one of those days; The planning of Alfred Pennyworth's surprise birthday party.

However things usually went a lot less violent, this day every year. The sparring session this year was the result of you messing up, real bad while on patrol last night and since you were around the same age as Tim, he was found to be the most appropriate partner for it. The only drawback was that he had a staff in his hands while your weapons were confiscated, because in Bruce's words 'you rely on them too much'. You were already tired and Tim had a huge advantage over you, if you wanted to win this match you had to be quick and efficient at the same time.

Distracting Tim by your comment allowed you to have an opening, gathering all your strength you went in for a forward strike. Unfortunately he was more than ready to take you on, he crouched down, narrowly missing your punch then proceeded to swipe your legs off of the ground with his bo staff making you fall butt first on the floor.

"Congratulations you've managed to hurt both my ass and my ego, Timbers", You said laying back on the ground, hands and legs spread out and instead of helping you up, Tim joined you on the floor sitting next to you. You gave him a look that was equivalent to 'next time I get the chance, I am going to push you off a roof'.

"Your skills need improvement", Bruce said in his monotonous tone as you grunted knowing that a full ass lecture was gonna follow, but before he could get another word out, Jason chimed in with a statement no one ever expected to hear from him,"You know (Y/N), he's not wrong in fact I think the old man's actually got a point."

Jaws dropped to floor, Tim looked like he just saw a ghost, Dick who was standing near Barbara pinched himself to see whether he was dreaming or not, Damian snapped his neck up from where he was sharpening his katana, even Titus and Ace perked their heads up at the sudden silence that settled over the place. Barbara, Cass, Duke and Steph looked equally shocked.

"Before you all get any ideas, what I'm trying to say is you better pay attention because B over here won't be able to save your ass, 'cause if you slack off the next thing you know you would be in a warehouse with a maniac, getting blown to bits", Jason looked at Bruce with accusing eyes.

'And here I thought he was finally going to say something sensible', you thought to yourself as he continued,

"Take it from someone who has had that experience, you guys remember right? The fact that I--"

"Died, we know!!", everyone groaned at the same time and Bruce looked like he had to physically restrain himself from faceplaming.

"Okay! Guys how about we go ahead and do the thing we all actually came here to do instead of... whatever this conversation was", you suggested, getting up and patting the dust off your clothes.

"Well then someone has got to ask the important question here", Barbara looked around as she worded her sentence,"who is going to be the one to keep Alfred busy while we get everything ready?"

Once again the cave went silent. For a whole bunch of detectives, you all were very, very scared of Alfred, including Bruce even though he will never admit it, lying to The old-butler-cum-grandpa and making random excuses for the whole 3 hours was a thought dreadful enough to make all of you exchange petrified glances at each other hoping someone would step forward to do the job.

"I'll do it", dick raised his hand.

"NO!", everyone snapped and Dick's head tilted with a pout.

"You are good at doing a lot of stuff boy wonder, hiding things from Alfred isn't one of them", Barbara comforted Dick as Damian stepped up next.

"*tt* Since none of you imbeciles have the courage or the ability to do it. I shall be the one to handle Pennyworth. Gordon, Cain and Titus, I will require your assistance", Damian spoke or rather commanded as he went up the stairs, followed by the group he chose.

"Don't mess this up for us, you gremlin!"

"Tim!", you lightly jabbed him in the side with your elbow.

"Ow! What?"

"Be nice", you narrowed your eyes and he understood you were being serious.

"Fine I'll try, but don't blame me if he starts something", Tim shrugged carelessly. You shook your head and let out an audible sigh as you followed everyone else up towards the manor.

•°•°

"That's it Dick just a little to the right...No the other right...No! Not there you goofus! Just...Just get down from the chandelier before it comes crashing down on the rest of us and For God's Sake let Duke handle the ribbons before you somehow strangle yourself with them", you eyed him worriedly.

"Oh come (Y/N) it'll be fine!", the cheerfulness in his voice made you cock an eyebrow at him from below. Duke slid in beside you.

"10 bucks says he will somehow fall within the next hour"

"Oh Duke you should know better, 20 says he'll fall within 30 minutes", you turned towards him with an evil smile.

"What are you both talking about down there?"

"NOTHING!", you both said in unison on which Dick gave you a confused look.

"Oh Hey look Steph needs my help with the cake so, see ya!", you quickly moved to the other side of the room checking in with Stephanie and Tim. She gave you a thumbs up to signal that everything was going according to plan and the place was almost ready. Everyone was laughing, bickering, having fun, it was all very rare and seeing it, a warm feeling spread throughout you.

You smiled to yourself for a moment but it faltered and a frown pulled up at your lips, a sorrowful thought crossed your mind, something you always kept buried deep down. Looking around and seeing as nobody needed your help at the moment you decided to slip out of the chaos, taking slow steps towards the patio to clear your head.

•°•°

Leaning against the railing you thought back to how you left your house this morning telling your mother that you are going to stay at your friend's place for a while and how she just waved her hand at that, not even questioning you anymore. Your mind was completely elsewhere, despite the awe-inspiring dense forest right in front of you, your eyes were lost in space.

You registered, a bit too late, the presence of someone standing beside you.

"It is a nice view, but something tells me that's not what brought to out here, away from everyone else"

"Careful there Brucie or people might think that you are actually capable of some emotions which happen include caring for people", you retorted back at him. It was always a sort of defense mechanism for you, whenever you felt exposed you countered it with snarky remark.

You closed your eyes hoping that Bruce would just walk away. But he didn't. He stayed there.

Bruce leaned on the railing beside you and waited. You took a deep breath, contemplating you next move carefully.

"...Look It's really silly so can we drop it?", you whispered wondering why in the world would Bruce of all people, care about your feelings.

"Talk to me (Y/N). I can tell when something is bothering you, I may not be your father, but you are my family.", unlike usual, his voice was gentle and genuine when he spoke to you.

"I am really not a fan of surprise birthdays", you stated, starting off vaguely.

"And why is that?"

"Because I...It's silly but this one time I spent a whole week working on a birthday gift for my mom, it was like a craft pop up box which had multiple photos of us together, I made that from scratch! everything in it I made that, I worked hard for it, I did it out of love but when I gave her that surprise gift you know what she said Bruce! She said that I wasted my time that she would've been much happier if I had focused on my studies, she never even once said that she liked it and I--", you looked at him with tears brimming in your eyes, threatening to spill.

"I don't know Bruce, it-it just makes me feel sad you know? every little thing reminds me that my mother doesn’t seem to love me anymore. There is this constant thought in my mind that no one cares about me, about what I do for them and I don’t know what to do with a thought like that."

"That's not true, look around you kiddo, you are surrounded by people who would do anything for you, who love you from the bottom of their hearts", Bruce finally looked at you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"That's the thing! I am not an orphan!", you blurted out and Bruce looked more confused than ever.

"I'm aware"

"No! No you are not. I am not one of those kids you picked up from somewhere, I don't live here, Like I am sure you people aren't even sane, hell! you all make up the most dysfunctional family I have ever seen! I don’t belong here, you people have no reason to care about", Bruce gave you a sideways look, slightly chuckling at your sudden description of the people in the manor.

"But I still love everyone, my mom, you, every dumbass inside the manor right now, no matter much pain they cause me and I don't get why", this time when he looked at you, you didn't look like the vigilante who sucker punched The Riddler in the face last night, you looked like a scared little kid who is lost.

Bruce stood up straight and wrapped you in a hug. Something you never expected to happen in a million years. The shocked settled in after a bit and you wrapped your hands around him, burying your face in his chest.

"The people we love are still people at the end of the day. They act out, and sometimes they let us down, hurt us even, but that doesn't mean we stop loving them. For every bad memory, there will always be a good one that will get you through it. I promise you that (Y/N)", Bruce pulled away and gave you a warm smile. You couldn't help but smile back, your face matching his.

"Okay who are you and what have you done with Bruce Wayne? because I don't recognize this man who is full of emotions and on top of that, is giving free hugs right now", you broke into a grin, making Bruce's face go back to the stoic version.

"If you tell anyone, I will deny it"

"Sure you will"

Suddenly a clattering sound came from the hall, alerting you both. This, however, was followed by a 'I'm okay!' By the one Dick Grayson, which in turn was followed by Duke's 'Oh no!'

"Any idea what that was about?", Bruce inquired raising an eyebrow as you burst out laughing.

"That, you big softie, was the sound of me getting my 20 dollars, now let's get back before they destroy everything."

•°•°

You and Bruce entered back into the hall, everyone was gathered around waiting for Damian and his group to signal the beloved butler's arrival. You stood next to Tim as Jason moved towards the switches to turn off the lights.

"Okay I'll bite why are you covered in frosting before the party even started?"

"Steph", Tim replied, too tired to elaborate, leaving you giggling.

Barbara, Cass and Damian rushed through the door, looking close to terrified, with Titus tagging along.

"He is here, HIDE!", Damian said quickly closing the doors.

After a few moments, the door creaked open and Alfred's voice came through, "Master Damian, you and I will have words for what you did to-- Oh my", he was stuck to his position at the door, too shocked to say anything more after looking at the decorations and bunch gathered around an enormous cake.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALFRED!!", you all exclaimed with extreme excitement.

As the party went on you noticed that there was, in fact, a broken chandelier broomed to the side, later on there were a few not-at-all-safe stunts performed by the boys, some really bad puns made by Dick, all sorts of shenanigans by the others and cake, lots of cake. You looked around, everyone was busy doing something but now you knew Bruce was right:

You have one hell of a family, original, found or otherwise. And you love them all no matter what.

°•°•°•°•

Tags: @thesesickfics-justmakemesick

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[anakinthetrashking]

the batkids as things I did in school

Dick:

take dance class and be friends with everyone even though there was some weird infighting going on between everyone. forget to do the assignment to make up a dance ourselves, just improv'd it and got a good grade, somehow. had the most fun slipping down the hallways in socks.

halfway through the year asked to have a free period instead of ASL 3, bc the teacher wasn't teaching us anything or even keeping it interesting so I spent the whole afternoon in Physics class instead.

went all out for 80s day during Spirit Week but turns out no one else did. got a lot of weird looks and concerned questions that day. one kid said I looked like a jumpscare. thanks dude.

missed more than half of my statistics classes but was still getting a better grade than the seniors I sat near. 😭

Barbara:

got really angry when the Pre-AP Bio teacher disnt know whether Carbon was 6 or 8 on the Periodic Table. 14yr old me thought that it was extremely important to know as a science teacher. failed the first 6wks, got moved to a regular bio class, was late everyday but the teacher still loved me. found and identified a tumor in the stomach of the pig we dissected in class. Can still sing the entire DNA song(to the tune of I Want it That Way) word for word over 10yrs later. Still gets stuck in my head sometimes.

kept getting told off in sewing class bc we weren't supposed to hold the pins in our mouth while sewing bc it's dangerous if we accidentally swallow them but that's what I was used to doing at home.

Jason:

stunned the much older kids in my class playing Hangman by looking up and immediately guessing "Labyrinth" from the few letters that everyone else had guessed (one of them looked up what the hardest word was for the game and that was it. it would have been if I wasn't so obsessed with Phantom of the Opera and the David Bowie Labyrinth movie at that point in time)

read all of the short stories in that years English textbook within the first month of school every year

Cass:

smile at people (esp teachers) so wide that id have to close my eyes, and then immediately dropping the smile. (it gave me a break from eye contact and trying to figure out what expression I "should" have in that moment)

Everytime I joyfully played in the rain during lunch and then froze my butt off during afternoon classes in the AC.

also the times I was late for afternoon class bc I was overjoyed at seeing snow.

Tim:

was too overwhelmed to actually do the required amount of weekly reading so I just picked classic books I had already read and picked a random place to put the bookmark and easily answered the teachers questions on what I was "reading"

be a "gifted" student so I was put in the fast track math class but was too anxious to deal with that teacher's incessant yelling at the students so I begged them to put me in a different class. they put me in a regular paced class and told me to just go ahead and do the fast track by myself at my own pace. got distracted and never did the work. switched schools the next year and got put in the next math up and totally regretted it but was in too deep to back out.

dropped out of public school in 11th grade to have a mental breakdown ✌️ eventually finished HS later through online classes and stuff.

Steph:

get hooked on Kpop bc the one friend I had made moved away and now I was stuck with her friends at lunch without much of anything in common so we had to make something.

fell asleep in class bc I was awake all night watching kdramas.

had to do a report on a European country and then got overly attached to the country of Moldova...

Duke:

only got detention twice in all of the years of school. once for being late all the time and once for not turning in my homework on time(the teach didn't want to give me detention but she threatened everyone with it and it was only fair)

Always skipped Pep Rallys and hung out in the Orchestra room instead. also ate lunch in one of the empty practice rooms behind the band hall with friends bc we could :)

got overly excited about black hole radiation and decided to ask my then science teacher about it and was SUPER disappointed when she didn't know anything about it (despite it being a fairly new concept at the time and she only taught middle school non-specific science)

Damian:

got put in theatre class to fill an empty spot on my schedule, enjoyed it IMMENSELY, got assigned "weirdo kid" role by the teacher for the end of year play. really went all out to play up the weirdo role. probably could have just been myself and it would've been enough.

managed to get into a Ceramics class without taking an applicable basic art credit first. the teacher thought it was weird but she didn't kick me out!

all three times I was asked out I turned them down brutally because I didn't really understand social convention. whoops. sorry dudes.

accidentally offended someone when I said that Art 1 was easy :/ (I think they thought I was saying art in general was easy, which. no. I was taking Art 1 as an online class and it was all the basic stuff about art I had learned from my older sis over the years)

[bigskydreaming]

And one more bit from the “Kings of the Sky” AU albeit several installments in, because I just......don’t know when or why I stumbled into an obsession with the dynamics between Dick and Jason and Cass as the eldest three Wayne siblings, but its there, its real, and its happening. I’ve stopped fighting it. I just....enjoy writing those three being dumb siblings who are dumb like so, so much.

Anyway, in this AU series, Jason doesn’t go to Ethiopia and die, but rather eventually joins Dick at Titans Tower more regularly and is Flamebird. Both are closer with Bruce here than in canon because Dick helped Bruce and Jason get through the Garzonas stuff and Jason helped kick Bruce in the direction of Dick and adoption papers right after the Brother Blood storyline. Then Cass is actually the third to join the family, by way of Babs, and she’s Batgirl and then Black Bat, but there’s a period of time when its just Dick, Jason and Cass as the Wayne kids. 

(PS - this is the same series as where Jason ends up with his own age group of Titans, and accidentally falls into a love quadrangle of doom that is absolutely NOT a polycule dammit, with Tom Bronson (Tomcat), Ray Terrill (The Ray) and Todd Rice (Obsidian). Which amuses his brother and sister to no end).

Tim and Duke are both next, but sorta at the same time? Like Tim’s story takes a sharp turn when Robin II never dies and obviously is Flamebird now like Robin I is Nightwing, and Tim winds up in foster care after his parents die differently than in canon. Duke is also in foster care at this time, though a different placement, and while no Robin has died here, its been awhile since there’s been one in Gotham, and to kids who grew up with the idea of there always being a Robin, that feels weird and wrong ultimately. 

So Tim and Duke both hit on the idea of being Robin like, at around the same time and totally disconnected from one another, and that leads to them both joining the Batfam around the same time, and co-sharing Robin until Damian arrives much later and they both move on to new identities. But there’s no real confusion between Robins because Duke is the daytime Robin with more yellow coloring in his costume and Tim is the nighttime Robin with more red, and people say Red or Yellow if they ever need to differentiate which Robin they’re talking about. Anyway.

************

So [Tim and Duke] run into trouble eventually and then when running from trouble they run into each other and they’re like….huh. Awkward. And then they decide well, might as well both run from trouble in the same direction, I guess. So they do.

“Did you have a plan for dealing with these guys?” Tim yelled at Duke. The other boy looked back over his shoulder briefly and gave what would probably have been a half-shrug if he didn’t awkwardly try to barrel-roll over a car two seconds later.

“Umm, sorta?”

“How sorta are we talking about? Maybe the two of us together could fill in the gaps in the plan and come up with one full plan?”

“Uh yeah, no, its not that kinda sorta. I meant sorta in the sense that I thought I had a plan but it didn’t work and that’s why these guys are after me. Sooooo…”

“Not helpful, basically.”

“Yeah. Pretty much. And hey, I don’t hear you offering up a plan! Did you even have one at all?”

“Uh….I mean I kinda didn’t think I was going to need one because I figured some kid running around in a mask making a nuisance of himself was the sorta thing that was bound to attract Batman. And so I was just pretty much running around until that happened, and then I’d make a case for how I obviously need training and Gotham needs Robin and if its not me its likely to be someone else trying eventually anyway so why not be me?”

Duke paused just long enough to squint at him. “That’s a terrible plan.”

Tim rolled his eyes. The effort didn’t pair well with his huffing and over-all exertions from running for his life and all that, but necessity demanded. “Yeah I know, that’s why I never said it was a plan! It was mostly….more…idea-ish.”

“I’m just saying, I thought I was doing this wrong, but at least I had a plan! I mean yeah, it might have ended up with me accidentally busting in on what I thought was a bunch of Riddler’s henchmen setting up some kind of clue thing, only it was actually a bunch of Intergang type guys with alien space guns or some shit all dressed up as Riddler henchmen for some reason? I dunno what they were trying to do honestly, but so yeah I might have ended up running away on foot from like twenty of them and some kind of hovercycle -”

“I’m going to cut you off there and say wherever this is going its probably not the superior vantage point I think you think you have.”

Meanwhile, Batman was not going to be coming because he’s off on a JLA mission. However, in his absence Dick and Jason are in town filling in, and they finished taking out the bad guys several blocks back and caught up to whomever was running from them, figured out the situation and are currently sitting on the edge of a rooftop watching them realize they’re totally lost and trying to figure out where to go from here. Mostly because Dick and Jason are incredibly amused listening to their back and forth and also just…this whole situation.

Dick justifies not piping up to let them know they’re safe now by saying this is good intel gathering so we can offer Bruce our assessment as to whether they’re gonna try and keep doing this whether we train them or not, and also how they handle this whole being lost situation. Not knowing they don’t have to run anymore isn’t going to hurt them and really, this is a good field exercise almost.

Jason justifies not piping up by saying this is fucking hilarious and I will hurt you if you end this any sooner than we have to, I deserve this, I had a rough week.

Which is right around the time that Cass pipes up from where she’s been lurking unnoticed behind them this whole time: “Oh no. Was it Tom? Or Ray? Or was it Todd?”

And she does it right in Jason’s ear so he kinda aborted-shrieks and almost falls off the roof except Cass is ready for that and grabs his arm to steady him.

“I hate when you do that!” Jason growls in an attempt to cover up how badly she got him and also because he hates when she does it which is why she does it a lot. Again, they don’t hate each other at all, but they do seem to act like it a lot, and neither of them is entirely sure why. They kinda just started doing it and have each been trying to get the other back ever since and ended up locked in an unending spiral of gotcha-gotchaback, except, y’know, Batfam style.

Dick occasionally picks sides just to muddy the waters. And then he randomly switches sides without warning, so neither of them ever wants to risk getting too peeved at him even when he’s helping the other, because that might push him fully over to the other side and leave them permanently outnumbered, so they’re kinda stuck, which is exactly as he likes it, lol.

“Why are you Satan,” Jason hisses dramatically as he gets up and stomps over to the other side of the roof to sulk, lest she almost knock him off again. Its not the almost falling part that bothers him, its that she’s the one that snatches him to safety each time. She’s like a freaking cat toying with a - yeah not going there, just blaming Selina. Knew them hanging out was going to be bad news for me somehow, he gripes.

Cass just shrugs and smoothly sits down cross-legged right where she is, grinning Cheshire-cat style at him from there. “Childhood trauma,” is her answer.

“Great, and now you’re stealing my comeback on top of it?! Is nothing sacred to you?”

She offers another shrug. He would like to return those for store credit please. Maybe get something useful instead. “Haven’t decided yet. Babs is still helping me explore my options. We’re going alphabetically and we’re only on  the E-religions.”

“God, you’re the worst. I can’t believe you ruined sisters for me.”

“You already used that same line last week when you came out of your room still half-asleep and she was just sitting directly across from your door waiting and staring unblinking and you yelped and dropped your laptop on your toe, and then cursed so loud that B came running around the hall thinking we were being invaded,” Dick reported idly, still perched in the same position he’d been in all along and watching the boys below them. “Just in case you thought no one noticed when you recycle.”

“I noticed too,” Cass added solemnly.

“I have no siblings,” Jason intoned. He threw up his hands dramatically and then loudly jumped down to the street below with a little help from the fire escape. It drew both Duke and Tim’s attention and they startled before realizing it was Flamebird. And that he’d landed on the street and was stalking past them while barely acknowledging them. And that that was Nightwing standing on the roof now with his hands on his hips yelling after him.

“Oh, reeeeeeal subtle. You’re not having fun anymore so you gotta make sure nobody else does either. Wow, the Brat-like behavior, just jumped out of the shadows with that one!”

And that was Flamebird not even turning around and just yelling back. “I HAVE NO SIBLINGS!”

And also they were both pretty sure that was Batgirl crouched on the roof next to Nightwing now, and she was…..sticking her tongue out at Flamebird’s back? No, Batgirl very much definitely was sticking out her tongue, that wasn’t in doubt, it was more just….very unexpected to see.

What was happening right now?

********

Eventually Tim and Duke have inevitably worn down [Bruce’s] resistance to training them by insisting they’re gonna keep doing this and if its not them its gonna be someone sooner or later anyway. Because, as they put it, you guys may not know this but Gotham’s gotten used to Robins by now and it freaks people out not to see one and Robin’s as important as Batman really and there needs to be a Robin and its not just us that will think that, like look at the fact that already two of us had the exact same idea, huh? And also, we’re gonna keep doing it anyway, sooooo….there’s that.

And then Cass vouches that they’re both 100% serious about that.

And then Dick vouches that as a former determined daredevil kid that was absolutely going to keep doing the same thing no matter whether you’d helped me or not, B, I also am of the assessment that these two mean it all the way.

And not to be left out and just to have something to contribute but also grumpy because his brother and sister are picking on him and he’s eighteen going on ten, Jason throws in: “And my assessment is that they both definitely seem dumb enough to keep doing this without help anyway and they definitely need help or they definitely will die, I’d give it a month, month and a half tops.”

And then Bruce dryly thanks his children for their contributions, their keen insights in this matter have been absolutely invaluable, he has no idea how he would make a decision here without it.

“Oooh, a rare sighting of Bat-snark in the wild. Someone call Nat-Geo quick, maybe he’ll do it again,” Dick says.

Bruce sighs. Duke and Tim look like they’re trying to decide if they’re allowed to be amused or if that’s also part of some weird Bat-test that they’re probably taking without even knowing it.

So Tim and Duke move in, start training together, and then also get sent to school together and it takes a month or so of settling in before they decide whether or not they actually are happy about this. There’s a period of deciding they’re supposed to be bitter rivals who snipe at each other back and forth across the dining table at every available opportunity, but that changes the first night Dick and Jason come back from the Tower since Tim and Duke have moved in and where Cass is also home instead of at the Clocktower with Babs.

Since all three of the older Batkids, upon seeing Tim and Duke squabble at dinner, decide to obnoxiously coo about how adorable it is watching the kids play. Which pretty instantly cements Duke and Tim as realizing their best chance of surviving the sudden acquisition of three older superhero ninja foster siblings who all can be as obnoxious as they are dangerous but also as much as they are - Duke and Tim are convinced - all quite insane.

A belief further cemented the next morning, with all three of them having spent the night at the Manor as well. Treating Duke and Tim to their first Saturday morning episode of the Cass and Jason show.

In this episode, Jason emerged from his bedroom in his pajamas still but warily peeking his head out first to look both ways down the hall before deciding it was clear…..and then makes it just almost to the end of the hallway leading to the stairs, when Cass drops down from where she’d been waiting perched above the other side of the door, in such a way as to suddenly fill the doorway just in front of him, hanging upside down suspending herself just with her feet wedged above the doorway, all while keeping her hands crossed her chest, a dead-eyed expression on her face, and with her tongue hanging out like she’s some kind of vampire hanging upside down in mid-slumber.

Jason shrieked and stumbled back a foot before catching himself and shoving two fingers in a cross shape in her direction.

“Demon! DEMON! Goddammit, I abjure thee, that’s supposed to fucking do something about having a demon sister, now what the fuck does it take to banish you!?”

“Can’t be banished,” Cass informed him, still upside down. “Can be bought though.”

Jason halted. “What?”

“I’m really surprised you never figured it out,” Dick said from his room further down the hallway. He was leaning against the doorjamb, arms casually crossed.

“Why did you think she never goes after me?”

Jason swiveled back and forth between his siblings suspiciously, trying to scry both their inscrutable (and in Cass’ case, still upside down) faces for signs they were telling the truth. “You’re telling me that Little Miss Monstrous has been a pain in my ass from day one and the reason she’s never so much as eked a single boo in your direction is you’ve been bribing her all this time?”

Dick shrugged. “Its all about getting in on the ground floor.”

Jason squinted, still unconvinced. “Nuh-uh. No way. You’re just fucking with me. Like if this is for real, what have you been buying her off with?”

Dick smiled beatifically. “Cuddles and hugs.”

“NO! NO! Bullshit! I am NOT falling for this crap again, you are not gonna get me this way this time. I call BS, fuck you, nuh uh, you’re lying out your ass and your ass-face both.”

“Wait, what is this ‘this’ that I did before? What ever are you talking about?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”

“Is this about the Care Bear you had when you were fifteen?”

“Shut upppppppppppppppp, I didn’t have a Care Bear then, you’re such a - “

“Oh, I dunno, I’m preeeeetty sure there’s some holiday photos from that year that would say otherwise, pretty definitively in the form of you and your Care Bear….”

“That I only had because you literally just gave it to me as a present solely so that you could claim that I had a Care Bear when I was fifteen, you douchebag!”

“Just because I gave you the Care Bear didn’t mean you had to keep the Care Bear and hold the Care Bear and love the Care Bear, Jay. You chose to do all that.”

“I only kept the damn thing because you’re an asshole who lied about it being a family heirloom so I felt like I had to or I’d be a total jerk. Is nothing sacred to you?”

“I didn’t lie! It is a treasured family heirloom! Its the first Care Bear I gave to my little brother to teach him the important and valuable lesson that Care Bears - say it with me now - “

“Finish that sentence and they will never find your body.”

“CARE!” Cass shrieked from behind him before jumping on Jason’s back and bearing him down to the floor in an undignified tangle as she splayed atop him like a starfish and he stared up at the ceiling in a kind of strangled frozen fury, like there was so much emotion he wanted to process he’d overheated and now was stuck like that until he cooled down.

That was when Dick leaned over him and solemnly added one final thought, as though it was a crucial addition of the gravest importance:: “A lot.”

Jason’s eye twitched.

Dick’s eyes went wide in response. “Uh oh. He went to the Danger Zone. Run Cass. We’ve unleashed the dogs of war!”

Cass was off and on her feet in a second, taking off down the hall like a rocket. “Not the dogs of war!” She yelled.

Dick was only seconds behind her when behind him, Jason rose like an eruption, growling wordlessly and sparks practically flashing from his suddenly flinty eyes. He charged after them like an enraged bull.

“Kenny Loggins wouldn’t want this!” Dick yelled over his shoulder as he rounded the doorway and vanished. Jason rounded it in hot pursuit.

“Poison Ivy won’t even be able to make compost from what’s left of you when I’m through!”

The yelling and running vanished into the distance. Duke and Tim finally looked at each other blankly.

“What?” Tim asked. Duke shrugged helplessly.

A door opened at the end of the hallway. Bruce stuck his head out. “Is it safe?”

Tim just stared at him.

“What?” Duke asked.

**************

LOL mostly I just want to get to the tail end of the series, when Dick and Jason go undercover as supervillains in the Society of well, Supervillains....Dick as War Shrike and Jason as Gray Jay. (A kind of bird usually known for or referenced as being thieving and unpredictable and unexpectedly dangerous despite its size. Jason never went into the Lazarus Pit here and so isn’t as huge as he is in canon, he’s on the smaller side due to his early life’s malnutrition. Living with Bruce helped him catch up enough that he’s not TINY tiny, but he’s still smaller enough that this particular mantle fits him a little better than it would his massive canon depiction).

Cass also partakes in the undercover storyline, just showing up uninvited in a persona she’s crafted for the mission and calls Black Swan. And War Shrike and Gray Jay are both so startled and obviously a little freaked by her unexpected arrival, that combined with her being ticked at her brothers for leaving her behind, RUDE, and them sufficiently cowed and guilted by her wrath, that it all adds up to the other villains as being clear evidence that she is the boss and they are her advance minions. 

Which mollifies and satisfies Cass immensely, and leaves Jason grumpy that their mission was hijacked and also his sister is The Worst, and leaves Dick temporarily disgruntled because This Whole Thing Was His Idea DAMMIT but then five seconds later finding it hilarious because Dick is a chaos connoisseur and he has an appreciation for whimsy and the unexpected.

“I can’t believe you not only gate-crashed our extremely sensitive and delicate undercover operation, but you completely hijacked it as well! This is so typical,” Jason grouched.

Cass simply swept ahead of him and strode down the hallway with lethal grace. “Silence minion.”

Jason spluttered behind her and she grinned to herself. He really made it too easy sometimes.

[anothertimdrakestan]

hello please may i request the batboys proposing to their s/o 🥺 those marriage hcs were real cute and they just got me thinking u know. thank u 🖤

How The Batfam Prosposes To Their S/O HC

ofc! thank you! check out the marriage hc HERE! this req is beyond adorable and i tried to live up to the cuteness 🥰

Dick Grayson:

- dick would be SO EXTRA dude

- he'd get all your loved ones, family, friends etc and bundle up his whole family and have them waiting to suprise you

- he seems like a proposing on your anniversary so you don't expect it guys

- if you're down for slightly public stuff he'd take you to a theme park like disneyland and you'd both spend the day with your loved ones watching tim and dami bicker over the fastest way to get to the most rides or your best friend totally simping over jason and him flirting like a motherfucker, hand in hand with dick, just happy that there's finally a perfect day where everyone is together

- imagine going up on a huge rollercoaster and dick whispering all his favorite moments with you as the cart ticks up a massive hill

- then right before the drop, dick turns to you, "what i'm really asking is: marry me y/n" and the ride drops, you screaming yes as you zoom down the massive hill and do loop de loops, your happy tears flying all over the place

- the picture they take when you drop shows you cry-screaming while dick grins like an idiot

- getting off the ride dick's brothers and your loved ones are bouncing off the walls "WHAT DID YOU SAY" y/b/f screeched as soon as you come out from the ride

- with one hand you held up the printed picture of you screaming with "she said yes!" written on the top and with the other hand you held up a brand new, gorgeous ring siting snuggly on your finger

- the rest of the day is spent hand in hand with dick, you keep walking around saying "look how pretty my ring looks next to this!" or "WAIT LET ME TAKE A PICTURE WITH MY HAND OUT" and you both get tons of adorable candid photos with various disneyland/theme parks places and items that you'll be treasuring forever

Jason Todd:

- texting jason that your boss suprisingly let your team off work a couple hours early you both made plans to meet at home for dinner together and a night in, a rarity recently with how busy you were finishing school and having a job while he had red hood duties

- coming back to your shared home there were rose petals trailing you into your bedroom, and a huge paper screen blocking you from seeing the kitchen or your dining room, but you wanted to let jason have his fun so you followed the petals

- on your bed was the outfit that makes you feel like a hot bitch and a note saying "hey angel, put this on then open the laptop" and you complied

- as soon as you put in your login a video titled "to the love of my life" which was pretty sappy for jason, but you clicked anyway

- a roughly edited video shows jason sitting down, his cheeks slightly tear stained as he says "y/n i've loved you with everything and more, more than i ever knew was possible. you taught me i deserved to be loved and you showed me how to live life to the fullest" as he continued you felt tears start to brim, jason was always more of an actions guy so these words meant everything to you

- the video was so intensely personal it had you openly crying at the end when jason smiled at the camera "hey love, you're probably crying right now - i know that because i love you beautiful. so, care to come back outside now?" the video ended and you got up, realizing what was about to happen

- at the end of your hallway was jason, dressed in a suit, his cheeks stained with tears like yours, holding out his hand for you

- trying not to fall apart you stumbled into his embrace while he kissed your head, pushing you back slightly to get on one knee with a cheesy grin

- "i didn't think i'd ever get to do this, you know i always think in the negative, but with you everything is good. so be my good, forever. be my better half, my favorite thing, my home, my girl, forever. marry me y/n" unable to speak through all the flooding emotions you just nodded, letting out an excited squeak as jason grabbed your hand, sliding a ring on the finger

- leading you into the dining room jason had whipped out his expert chef skills and made an amazing dinner, and the two of you spent the night reminiscing on old memories, hoping for amazing future moments, and just relaxing in each other's embrace

Tim Drake:

- tim is not smooth let's be real, and when you've been with him for all those years he physically cannot keep a secret from you so you knew something was up when he actually set aside 5 hours for a date night, uninterrupted

- it took about 3 tries to get dick to break and admit tim was planning on proposing that night, you expected it soon, neither of you were big on suprise public moments and were super open in communicating and had both agreed that this year was the best to finally get engaged, tim always wanted to make you feel safe and this would be no different so you weren't worried

- taking careful notice to apply only waterproof mascara you were ready for a tear filled night with the love of your life

- during the fancy dinner you were jittery and excited waiting for a ring in your pasta or a note under your napkin, but nothing, and tim was acting normal as ever, making you think he'd aborted the mission

- it was always fun having a private dinner with tim, he loved to rent out the roof of gotham building and gettting a private dinner served on top of the world, making you feel like the only person in the world

- as you finished cracking jokes, telling stories, and overall just loving each other's presence you got up and went to head down when tim grabbed your hand, pulling you into a hug whispering "ready for a little suprise my love?" while your breath caught in your chest as almost on cue a helicopter landed on the other side of the top of the building

- wind whipping around tim kept your hand in his, helping you in and securing you, putting on your headset and giving your cheek a quick peck 

- as the helicopter took off you saw gotham from god's eye view, watching as it got smaller, melting into the last few rays of sunlight, tim gave your hand a squeeze as he said "the view's almost as pretty as you y'know" with your favorite cheesy grin

- as the helicopter turned giving you a perfect view of the setting sun tim began his speech, pulling your hands into his, "y/n through every up and down you've been there, i always thought i wasn't wanted until i met you and i can never repay you for everything you've taught me, i'd give you the world if i could, but i think the next best thing is giving you me. in every moment i promise to be yours, your sidekick, your partner in crime, your secret keeper, and your lover. i will always be yours, no matter what. and tonight i'm asking you to be mine, will you marry me y/n?"

- you nodded vigorously as tim pulled out a velvet box, opening to take out a beautiful ring, slipping it on your finger while you pushed away tears

- the helicopter dropped you both off outside of gotham at one of jason's safe houses that tim had transformed into a little one night home, and it was far enough outside of gotham that you could see the stars, laying on the roof as tim listed off various constellations and you both whispered about your future together, hand in hand with your other half for the rest of your life

Damian Wayne:

- when damian told dick his plan to just ask you to marry him during patrol he got a whole lecture about the importance of making it a memorable moment and blah blah blah so damian really wanted to live up to this "life changing moment" where he's not even marrying you just asking you as if after all these years you'd suddenly say no

- so that's how you ended up packed into one of bruce's cars with titus and damiwn driving to a supposedly beautiful hiking trail

- you were genuinely concerned for damians mental health because every time there was traffic or titus needing a rest stop he looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel

- once there the hike was serene, the three of you trekking up a beautiful mountain surrounded by the fresh air

- during a particularly sweaty patch you lazily took off your shirt, hoping to get a little cooler, you normally trained in a sports bra and leggings anyway so it wasn't weird until damian refused to take his shirt off too. as you and titus sprinted forwards you teased dami "love bird i can see you sweating cmon!" but he continued to refuse and you let it go

- you'd both slowed down to a walking pace as you rounded to the top of the mountain, the view was beyond beautiful and you plopped down on the crest of the mountain, using damians lap as a pillow while titus sprawled across the both of you

- as damian mindlessly played with your hair, lightly tugging it as he stayed deep in thought you took a moment to really appriciate your boyfriend

- he's eyes shone and his jawline was slightly hardened in a way that shows he was busy in thought, your eyes traced down from his perfect lips to his neck, where you noticed a thin white string hanging around his neck slipping down behind his shirt. without thinking, and before dami could react, you tugged the string out of his shirt, a golden band with a perfect diamond met your eyes before damian could stop you from seeing it

- "d-damian is that what i think it is" you whispered, sitting up to face him while he blushed

- "beloved, i was trying to think of the words to say but you're always three steps ahead of me aren't you" he whispered, untying the string with ease and slipping the ring off of the string, he stared at the ring unable to make eye contact with you "everything i do is for you my love, and though i don't quite understand why cementing it in the eyes of a government is important, if it means i can love you for my entire life i will do anything. so please my love, my best friend, my favorite girl, marry me beloved" he finished, swallowing harshly to fight back the rogue feeling to cry

- you did not hold back. letting tears slip out while he put the ring on your finger you flung yourself into his arms and he relaxed in your embrace, titus beginning to lick your face clearing the tears while you giggled, truly on top of the world with damian, forever and always

a/n: these all got so sappy ahcowkfjr i'm such a fluff monster omg... anyways! i tried to keep them fun and interesting but i definitely air with damian on the side of thinking proposals are slightly overhyped and as an anxious bean i already get scared at the idea of everyone looking at you no matter how in love you are haha so all the proposals were kinda personal i hope that's okay lolzzz anywho! love you hope you enjoyed!

[a-wayne-at-heart-too]

Ask: The 27th of April, the Last (and Long) Part

Bonus Ask:

[Stately Wayne Manor]

Jason: *helping Alfred clear out the dinner table* You think we should’ve asked Harley to stay for dinner? 

Alfred: If you wished to see Master Bruce’s hair turn to grey as you ate dessert, I don’t see why not.

Jason: *burps loudly and fans his breath away* Whoops. Sorry, Alf. Just my way of complimenting your cooking.

Alfred: *carrying the dishes to the kitchen* Then perhaps you should come here more often, Master Jason.

Jason: *following Alfred* I'd rather not cause any trouble.

Alfred: *stops in his tracks and turns to face Jason with a stern expression* And you don't think it troubles me that you feel unwelcome here?

Jason: *takes the dishes from Alfred’s hands, sets them on the kitchen island, and pulls him in for a hug* Alf, hey... I didn’t mean it like that. I know you guys care about me, it’s just...

Alfred: *sobbing into Jason's shirt* We've already lost you once... Once is enough, Jason...

Jason: *tightens the hug and gently plants a kiss on top of Alfred’s head* I know, I know... I'm back, Alf. I'm back.

>>> *** <<<

Dick and Barbara: *sitting on the carpeted floor in the study, enjoying the heat from the fireplace in front of them, going through a stack of photo albums*

Dick: *smiling fondly* Wow, these are old-old.... I should probably scan them before they crumble to pieces.

Dick: *stops at a page and points at a picture of Bruce and Jason on a boat, smiling, and holding up a tuna* Check this out, Babs... Aw, I love this one. I had a few days off from work, decided to spend it here. Somehow Jason convinced Bruce to take break from himself and go fishing.  

Dick: *talking animatedly* So, there we are on Bruce’s huge fishing boat, the Bat-2-Sea -- And Jason’s starting to get seasick because he’s been hanging out by the edge, waiting for a bite for hours -- The persistence on that kid! --  And he finally gets one! A big one, Babs -- *spreads his arms* -- and it was pulling down hard like you wouldn’t believe, but Jason just wouldn’t let go! -- So Bruce drops the glass of wine he’s holding and runs to grab him --

Barbara: What were you doing?

Dick: Who do you think took the picture? As I was saying -- Bruce, he -- he -- *starts to laugh so hard that he tears up* trips over Jason’s line somehow and falls into the ocean! *slapping-the-floor laughing* The World’s Greatest Detective, in his Batwaders, drenched like a wet bird... *sighs happily* You should’ve seen his face!

Barbara: *turns the page* Oh, I can see it now. Still stone-faced, but wet.

Barbara: *stops at a page and giggles* Aw... Will you look at that?

Dick: *looks at the photo Babs is pointing at and chuckles softly* That’s adorable. 

Barbara: Those scaly leotards fit him better than they ever did you, Boy Wonder.

Dick: *smirks* Whatever. But I have to admit, he did look great. He looked really... happy. I wish... I wish I saw more of him in action, you know? *voice breaking* I could’ve maybe trained him the way I did Tim and Damian --

Barbara: *rubs his back comfortingly* Dick...

Jason: *walks into the study* Dickie, I took some of your --

Dick: *clears his throat and wipes his eyes haphazardly* Hey, Little Wing!

Jason: Wait, are those our old family photos?

Barbara: *pats the empty spot beside her* C'mere.

Jason: *sits down and rubs his hands together* Where’s the one where Bruce goes kersplat in the ocean?

Jason: *flips through the pages and grimaces at his photos as Robin* You're not gonna use these to blackmail me, are you?

>>> *** <<<

Duke: *watches as his RPG character explodes for the fifth time in a row and shakes his head* You beat me again! You're so good at this game, man.

Jason: *snorts and puts his controller down* Dude, you weren't even trying. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were letting me win.

Duke: What? Naaaah... That's... Come on, why would I do that?

Jason: *gets up and shrugs, grinning knowingly* I dunno... 'Cause you like seeing me alive?

Duke: Yeah. It’s pretty awesome, actually.

Jason: *offers to bump fists* I gotta pack up. Good game, though. See you around, bro.

Duke: *exploding-fist-bumps with Jason* You too, bro.

Jason: *pats Ace the Bathound’s head as he exits the game room*

>>> *** <<<

Steph: *examining Jason’s face* You look really pale.

Cass: *pointing at various spots on his face* And you have a lot of... scars.

Jason: *sitting on a stool in front of Cass’s vanity dresser, staring at himself in the mirror and absentmindedly running a finger over the shirt-covered scar on his chest* Yeah? That bad, huh?

Steph: *grins* Nothing a little makeup can’t fix.

Jason: *rubbing his chin* You think so? I mean, I just came here to borrow a few weapons from Cass, but if you think I need a makeover...

Steph and Cass: *look at each other and squeal in delight*

>>> *** <<<

Tim: And this *holding up a minuscule gadget between his fingers for Jason to see* generates a force field over your entire body. The more the impact, the greater the energy generated. Schway, huh?

Jason: *nodding his head appreciatively as he takes the gadget and sticks it on the lapel of his leather jacket* Schway.

Tim: *proudly shows Jason a Bat-shaped breastplate * Now, this -- You're gonna love this -- It can turn you invisible to the naked eye for roughly 34.5 seconds, giving you time to do all kinds of offensive or defensive stuff. They won’t know what hit them, Jay. You’re basically gonna be invincible and Joker... Joker, he’s... he’s not... not gonna... *drops the breastplate unceremoniously* 

Jason: *places a hand on Tim’s shoulder* Thank you, Timbo. Really. But I'll be fine out there. You don't have to worry about me.

Tim: Yeah? Can you promise me that? Because I don’t think I can live through another one of Bruce's meltdowns.

Jason: *chuckles softly* Aren't they the best?

>>> *** <<<

Jason: *staring at an empty grave layered with concrete in the backyard*

Jason: *rolls his eyes* I know you're there.

Bruce: *comes out of the shadows and stands next to Jason*

Jason: Why'd you keep it?

Bruce: Because I'm a sentimental old fool.

Jason: This is just... creepy. Even for you.

Bruce and Jason: *stare at the empty grave in silence*

Jason: I've forgiven you.

Bruce: *glances at Jason, who could’ve sworn his adoptive father’s eyes were bloodshot* 

Jason: You know that, don’t you? I mean, I know we’re always going to disagree about Jok-- about him, and a few other things, but... You’ll always be family, Bruce. My family. 

Bruce: *looks at Jason, smiling wearily*

Jason: *grinning back at Bruce*

Bruce: *puts an arm around Jason’s shoulder* Thank you... Son.

Jason: *pulls Bruce in for a tight hug*

Bruce and Jason: ... 

Jason: Hey, remember that time you went kersplat in the ocean?

>>> *** <<<

Damian: *knocks softly on Jason's bedroom door* Todd.

Jason: *stuffing a duffel bag with clothes, homemade snacks, and weapons* Hey, kid, come in. I’m just getting my stuff ready --

Damian: These came from Mother. *drops a pile of books on Jason’s old desk*

Jason: *picking one after the other up excitedly* Tolstoy, Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, Shakespeare, Marx... No way... 

Damian: They’ve been with me for a while. But since you rarely come over, they’ve been collecting dust and taking up valuable space in my room. -Tt-

Jason: *wiping the dust off with his shirt and hugging each one* She kept them... These were my friends back when I was in the League... 

Damian: I didn’t realize we had more in common than just being my Father’s sons.

Jason: Wow. I have no idea how I’m supposed to bring all of these home. I mean, I got here on roller blades, for Bat’s sake -- 

Damian: *thrusts a piece of paper into Jason’s chest* This is for you.

Jason: *gingerly uncrumples it, revealing a painting of him and Damian*

Jason: *reading the writing in calligraphy underneath* “The Second Chance Robins”... *looks at Damian, feeling the tears well up in his eyes* You made this?

Damian: *looking down at his feet* When it’s my day... M-my d-day... Will you come over, too?

Jason: *gets down on bended knee to be at eye level with his little brother* Hey, buddy, look at me. Damian, look at me. Of course. Listen, we’ll do whatever you want. We’ll, um... We’ll take bad guys down together! Pull pranks on Tim! You name it, I got you.

Damian: Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Todd.

Jason: I promise that I’ll do my best, okay?

Damian: You could stay the night, you know. You’re home anyway.

Jason: *ruffles Damian’s hair and grins* I'd like that. As long as you hang out here with me. And I promise I won't tell anybody because it'll ruin our reputation.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

If truth be told, @wingedskyes​ , Jason makes himself available on his Death Day. Because even if neither he nor his family and friends mention it, he knows that they need him just as much as he needs them.

Thank you for this Ask. It was both fun and just a tad bit heartbreaking to write. 

And thank you, @warrior-of-the-blue-moon​ , for the nice addition. 

See: Part 1, Part 2

[pricetagofficial]

Don’t You Answer That Phone

Warnings: Language, violence, drug mentions. and bref mentions of smut.

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

Word Count 1k-ish

A/N: So I wrote this on Wattpad for a friend and I decided to post it here. It was orginally not a reader-insert so it might be a little weird.

"Jason fucking Todd, where the fuck did you go!?" You stormed into the safe house with her eyes ablaze in search of the idiot you called You boyfriend. You slammed the door shut behind yourself and glared. Jason may be trained by Batman, but so were you and knew for a fact that Jason was there in the safe house and he was hiding from you and for good reason.

"Hey princess, you want to go on patrol with me tonight?" Jason leaned over the couch and rested his head on you shoulder looking at the TV you were concentrating so hard on. Of course, you were watching (your favorite movie), it seemed that that was the only movie you ever watched but Jason found it cute.

"Why? What are you going to do?" you asked, looking over to meet his blue eyes.

"Well, someone has started dealing this new drug and somehow kids are getting a hold of it. I'm going out to see if I can trace down the source and put a stop to it. Of course, I want my partner to join me, I think it would be fun." he explained pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

You sat there and watched the movie. "You just want to see my ass in my new suit huh?" you chuckled.

Jason let out a laugh. "That may be part of the reason, but I just want to spend some time with you. Is that a crime?"

"Is that a crime, says the crime lord," you muttered.

Jason chuckled and shook his head. "Is that a yes?"

You turned your head to look at him. "Count me in." Jason grinned and walked to your shared room to get changed with you right behind him. You had turned off the TV and leaned against the door frame as you watched Jason suit up and throw his leather jacket on.

He turned around to see his girlfriend was admiring him. With a raised brow, he lifted your chin to look at him. "What's on your mind princess?" he asked with a grin.

"Nothing much, just how sexy my boyfriend is when he suits up and how much I would love to see him without it." Jason rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to your lips.

"After this, I'm all yours to do whatever you please with." he grinned and you then shoved him out of the room.

"Come on, princess. It's nothing I haven't seen." he chuckled.

Shutting the door, you rolled your eyes and went to the closet, pulled out your suit, and began to discard the clothes and slid into your (vigilante name) suit. Pinning your hair back you pulled on the hood and placed your mask on your face.

Jason opened the door and looked at you, his eyes raking over your body. "You ready sweetheart?" he asked.

You turned to look at him with a grin. "Ready, let's go kick some ass."

With the two of you out on the town, the criminals of Gotham were frightened back into their holes. Only the idiots and stupidly brave were out when both Red Hood and (y/v/n) were on the prowl. Red Hood was known to be a little less friendly than Batman if you could consider Batman friendly.

(y/v/n) was even less friendly than Red Hood was, and no one wanted to cross either one of you let alone the both of you together.

Turning out the lights, you and Red Hood slid out of a window of the safe house and took to the rooftops jumping across the alleys and grappling up the tall buildings. "So where are we going, Red?" You said through your com.

"The theater district, that's where the highest concentration of the new drug is so that is where we will start,"  he answered as you both grappled to the top of the building next to them. Your safe house was in the industrial district of Gotham and that was on the other side of the city. It was going to take a while for you guys to get there.

Once you landed in the theater district, Red Hood and yourself landed with a soft thud as you watched a group of dealers handed out shipments to deal around the city. Grey Arrow watched as the men dispersed.

"You take the left and I take the right?" you asked. Red Hood looked at you and nodded.

"The one who drops the least has to buy dinner." he laughed and jumped off the roof with you right behind him laughing as you both free-fell through the air. Grabbing an arrow, you aimed it and shot one of the men in the foot, keeping him planted to the ground.

Landing with a roll, you kicked him in the head knocking him out. Turning to look at the others nearby you grinned. "Who's next?"

"Shit! It's the fucking Red Hood and (y/v/n)." one of them mumbled. Red Hood and you stood back to back with your weapons prepped with a large grin on both of your faces.

"We caught the attention of them both! We fucking messed up!"

You laughed and aimed an arrow at him. "Yeah, I think you did. Now, tell us who is supplying you with the drugs and who the fuck decided that it was a good idea to deal it to kids?" you demanded.

Red Hood held the others at gunpoint. "I suggest you answer the lady's question, I'm afraid she might be less forgiving than I am when it comes to this and I'm not forgiving at all." he grinned.

The men were silent. It looks like they were going to do this the hard way. Quickly you had shot four arrows at the men and hit them in the thighs making them fall to the floor as you ran over and knocked them out. The sound of gunshots rang across the alley as both you and Red Hood fought side by side.

You had counted up the bodies, and out of the twenty men they had fought, you took out ten of them. Turning, you saw Red Hood shoot a rubber bullet at the final dealer and that made his count ten as well.

It was a tie.

There was a shuffle from the alley and you both turned your heads to see a younger-looking man, no older than the two of them and he was scared. You and Red Hood looked at each other.

"Dibs!" you called at the same time and both of you went after the man who took off down the street. You decided to stick to the streets, as Red Hood took to the rooftops.

"Hood, don't you dare. I called dibs!" you cried, jumping over a dumpster that he threw.

"Sorry babe, I don't like to lose." he chuckled and jumped off the roof and landed beside you.

You frowned and shot a tripwire and Red Hood triggered it as the wire wrapped itself around him, sending him to the floor. With a laugh, you kept following the guy who ran down towards the Gotham Bay Bridge.

You looked ahead and saw that somehow Red Hood was coming up the other side of the bridge towards him, and you could hear his laughter through the comlink as you pursued the man. He looked ahead and saw Red Hood in front of him and you were behind him. Without a second thought, he turned and went towards the edge of the bridge.

He stood at the edge and pulled the gun out of his side, and aimed it at you both. "Stay back or I'll shoot!"

Red Hood looked at this guy with an amused expression "Our suits are bulletproof dumbass." he called.

"You may be, but I'm not." He turned the gun and aimed it at his own head.

"Come on, don't you have someone waiting for you at home? A wife, husband, partner? Possibly kids? You don't seem the guy who would deal drugs for fun." you called, setting her bow down and holding a hand out slowly.

It wasn't a competition anymore on who could catch him, it was about keeping him alive now.

"You don't know what he's like," he muttered.

"Who? What who is like?" you had asked, your voice softening.

"He'll kill me if I say."

"We can get you protection, just give us a name." Red Hood said, taking off his helmet still wearing a domino mask underneath.

The man looked between both of you and slowly lowered the gun. "Sionis, the man I work for is Roman Sionis. I borrowed money because my wife left me with our kids, this is how he wanted me to pay him back."

You took a few more steps closer to him. "We'll get you protection from Black Mask, we have those kinds of connections. You and your kids will be safe. Why don't you come down from the ledge?"

The man nodded slowly and stepped down. You and Red Hood looked at each other. It seemed they needed to pay a visit to Roman Sionis and have a friendly little chat with him.

You listened around the safe house and could hear a faint struggle coming from the bathroom. Throwing your stuff to the floor, you stormed over and threw the bathroom door open. Sat on the floor was Jason with his shirt off as he tried to stitch up his own wounds while wincing in pain.

When the door opened, Jason looked up and gave you a sheepish smile. "Hey gorgeous, what's up?"

"What's up? What's up!? I find out from Bruce that you went and talked to Black Mask without backup, got blown up and all you have to say is 'what's up?'!?" you shouted.

Jason rolled his eyes. "You weren't answering your phone, so I decided to go alone."

"You could have called Dick, or Tim! I didn't know you were calling me until I got my phone back from what's her face. She took it out of my hands the second I arrived." you snapped.

"Well, maybe you need better friends."

"Well, maybe you need to not be so fucking stubborn!"

"Well, maybe you need to keep your phone with you at all times!"

"Well maybe you should stop trying to push me away!" she snapped.

As the two of you yelled at each other, you had stepped closer and stood right in front of each other with both of your chests heaving in anger.

Jason huffed and looked away. "I do not push you away," he muttered crossing his arms.

"Oh, you don't? Then why didn't you come and get me then? I would have rathered go and do this with you than hang out with Jessica." you crossed your arms. The two of you stayed quiet, as you stared him down. The silence was interrupted when Jason's phone began to ring. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw that it was Roy.

"I need to take this."

"Don't you fucking answer that phone Jason Peter Todd." your voice was that dangerous tone again, and it had caught Jason's attention. He slowly set his phone down on the bathroom sink, his eyes not leaving your.

"And why not?"

You grabbed his face and pulled him into a feverish kiss. "You can answer it once I'm done with you." Jason's hands went to your hips and pinned you to the wall, Rory letting out a small noise of surprise. You felt your phone ring in your back pocket, and knew that Roy had probably tried calling you as well.

Jason grinned against your lips as he slid a hand lower and pulled your phone out of your pocket and set it aside, before placing his hands on your ass and giving it a squeeze. "Don't you fucking answer that phone (y/n) (y/m/n) (y/l/n)," he muttered against your lips.

"And why not?" you grinned softly, copying his words from earlier.

"You can answer it when I'm done with you." he grinned and lifted you up and carried you to your shared room.

A while later Roy was stood outside the safe house with his arms crossed. Both you and Jason were ignoring his calls and he wanted to know why. He had spent fifteen minutes knocking before he gave up and just opened the door.

As he walked in, he saw your things on the floor and saw the bathroom door open. Peeking in, he saw that both of your phones were on the sink but where were you? Roy heard noises coming from behind the closed bedroom door, what were the chances that you were arguing again?

With a groan, Roy opened the door and saw that you and Jason were in fact not arguing.

[bioodorange]

||Pastas on Halloween||

I'll make a part 2 if y'all wanna see anyone else

X-Virus

Cody would play an actor at one of those haunted houses

Were talking huge, multiple attractions and long ass lines

A personal HC, Cody is bomb at SFX makeup

He'd have a fun time before hand, half dressed up and helping people he worked with get ready

He'd do it with normal people because with the pastas its cheating

He'd do the same one every year and make friends through it

Start planning months ahead with everyone and leaving at random ass times to go set it up

He'd have a souvenir each year

And he'd sell overpriced tickets to those he didn't like

Even if he likes you this shit ain't free

Wouldn't let ANYONE see his makeup or costume outside the other workers for ultimate scare factor

All would be going well until he gets fuckin socked by one of the kids

Their mom would apologise like "omg I'm so sorry I kn-"

And he breaks character gets up with a huge smile on his face and laughs his ass off

"nice one" and offers a high five

Very into Halloween and very hard to upset him during this season

Masky

Claims to not be super into it

Like ew why it's just a holiday??

But spends 3 hours looking for the perfect costume at spirit

Would casually rob a Walmart for all of the candy

And on Halloween just has the stupidest grin on his face

Like his reason for being happy just halloween

That's all he says when someone asks

Takes great pride in the pumpkin he carved

Yes he dragged brian to get it with him

he MIGHT try and bake the pumpkin seeds

He has a mental list of good and bad horror movies

One comment from Brian about how he always changes his opinion and he writes it tf down

The next morning around 8:30 am

SLAM

Brian, confused "Tim what the fuck is that-"

"Everything" "What the hell does that mean?"

"you said I change my opinion a lot so now it's all here!" "What the h-"

"yes it is color coded, thank you for asking"

"how long did this take you?"

"16 hours"

Radiates proudly in dumbass sleep deprived energy

Laughing Jack

So as expected he likes halloween

dUh

Since this dude loves children

He would definitely have fun with this Holiday

He would go to like a preschool before halloween and just fuckin watch those little parades they have kids do

Like where they go around the school In their costumes

He'd roast the shit out of them

And everyone else too

He'd give so much tips like what you could do to make it better

But wouldn't tell you how to do so and continue to put you on blast

He thinks spirit is overrated and insists on making his costume himself

But he'll do it in the like two days leading up to halloween and will get very feral with anyone who interrupts his work

He likes trick or treating but not with people so he'd have like Jason and candy pop go to different rooms in the mansion and give him candy

For like 5 hours straight

He'd stab the candy on his fingers like a shish kabob

He'd also murder anyone who eats a KitKat by biting into it

Even though he's a weirdo who chews ice cream and swallows cookies whole

Homicidal Liu

So Liu feeds like stray cats and other animals in the woods

He feels bad because theres shit like the rake out there

But he would dress every single animal up

And spend like all afternoon taking pictures off them

He isn't one to dress up, it isn't really his thing

He'd wish he could hand out candy because he wants to see like all the kids cool costumes and stuff

Would low-key murder a fuckin spirit of Halloween attendant so he could have their job for a day

He'd go to Costco and get all different kinds of candy and leave out those little "take one :)" bowls like out and about

Now when it's like later at night he'd go around beating people up who like kill black cats because apparently Halloween is oh so horrible

Also in the few days after halloween when people start returning their black cats and stuff he takes all is them home to the mansion

And eventually slender makes him release them or keep them in the basement

Everyone got annoyed of dying cat noises coming from his room at 2 am

I feel like Liu wouldn't be a fan of horror movies

But he'd be totally down to watch the originals like Hocus Pocus, Halloween Town and Monster House

He is a fan of Tim Burton

His favourite movie is the Corpse Bride

Ticci Toby

He fucks pumpkin

But no Toby is a big fan of fall

And halloween!

He really likes M&M's

Chewy candy is hard to eat with the gash in his cheek

He'd suck all the colored covering off of the M&M and spit it out

He'd do this to all of them before eating them

If you watch a horror movie he insists on eating all the half popped popcorn kernels

Toby would be a fun of funny slashers like Child's Play

He'd be the one dude who'd spoil wtf was gonna happen during the movie

And get a shit ton of popcorn thrown at him

He'd get a lot of criticism for how his cosplay was innacurate

"his hoodie has thicker stripes then that like co"

Yeah uh then he'd bite this bitches finger-

Toby unironically barks at people change my mind

For his costume he'd probably go to a smaller local business to support them

He'd get dressed up as Dracula or something a classic but a good one

Jeff or something would make fun of how he could see Toby's fake ass fangs through his mouth gash

Then Jeff would get fuckin socked in the face

Don't mess with this bitch when he's excited about Halloween!

Jeff the Killer

He also fucks pumpkins

His worst nightmare see those Jeff the Killer morph suits at spirit Halloween

He'd get his costume from fuckin hot topic or something

He'd post youtube make up tutorials on how to look like him

Ben would get mad cash from filming Jeff raging when he got demonetized

He'd spend like 20 minutes getting his hair in a wig cap only to realize he didn't need it for his costume

He'd be into really shitty candies like tootsie rolls and black licorice

He'd get curb stomped by LJ for biting right into a fuckin KitKat bar

Very adamant on kidnapping children

That is until he realizes how annoying they are

"what do you mean you have to e a t" "no shut the fuck up and e- NO I DON'T CARE IF IT'S COOKED" "OH MY GOD SHUT UP"

Jeff releases the children and now refuses to hangout with ben

Simply because of how small and feral he is

He'd go around scaring kids for revenge and taking the fuckin candy they drop

[teentitanimals]

Batfam on a MineCraft Server

idk man im just vibing

Bruce: He just wants to be apart of what his kids are doing from time to time, but ends up just having his kids kill him constantly and forcing him to live in a hole. Sometimes he pretends to be worse than he actually is, because his kids are having fun clowning on him :)

Alfred: They managed to get him to play once, on Bruce’s account, and they treated him like a king, building him an entire palace of gold and iron. Bruce was very confused when he logged back on not in his dirt hole prison.

Dick: He’s the average player, who enjoys building and battling equally. He often starts the prank wars, and always ends up losing them, but he doesn’t mind, because his family is bonding. He gets stolen from and griefed the most. He definitely had a mountainside house with a village he built underneath it, but he ends up abandoning it for an underwater base, and got upset when Jason blew up his old base.

Jason: He is, essentially, just a troll on the main MineCraft server. He exists solely to make his siblings’ lives digital hell. TNT is his favorite weapon, and he’s not too shabby at redstone. He excels at TNT cannons, but often finds they take too long to build. Despite this, he has a singleplayer world where he’s built himself a little hut with his wolf friend, and spends his time making the village under his care beautiful.

Tim: He purposely builds a dirt house, and proudly keeps making his house out of mostly dirt. Despite that, he has many redstone traps and potions in his Dirt Mansion. He is also the owner and admin of the main MineCraft server. He once hacked into Jason’s account and went onto his singleplayer world and destroyed a part of his village and hide his wolf after Jason blew up a redstone project he was working on for days.

Damian: He’s the type of person who claims to be a hardcore gamer, and will want as many overpowered items as possible to defeat the Enderdragon in a stunning show of strength so he can brag, but his fatal flaw lies in the fact that he keeps taming every wolf and cat he spots, and anytime any of them gets the tiniest hurt he drops everything to heal them despite reminding himself they’re just data. Somehow he ends up with an entire zoo of every animal he can get, and he ends up being more of a farmer than the hardcore gamer he wanted and claims to be. He also forced Tim to add a mod that allows you to tame Enderdragons.

Cassandra: She has fun just playing the game with her siblings, and her favorite part was finding the mineshaft and beating the Enderdragon. She participates in prank wars and ends up winning them 50% of the time. She’s never made a base, instead just taking a bed around with her. She once slept in a cave Bruce had been imprisoned in, right in front of his face.

Duke: He loves MineCraft, it’s one of his favorite games. He likes building, crafting, fighting, brewing, everything. He’s eager to play and mess around with his siblings’, and sticks around Cass and Tim’s sides the most. He’s joined Jason in blowing up others’ houses and Dick in starting prank wars. He wins the other half of the prank wars.

Barbara: Tim made her admin at the start, but she immediately started abusing the powers and messing around with everyone, including helping Jason blow shit up and blowing Jason up. Tim took away her powers, but he knew it didn’t matter as she just hacked herself back in. Luckily, she’s not on too often.

Stephanie: Switches between being Jason’s troll buddy and building herself a beautiful mansion without warning. She’s not the greatest builder, but she’s definitely not the worst. She also builds things and then blows them up, and then demands Tim go back to a previous save file to get her building back. Mostly just to annoy him.

Kate: Got invited to the server once and just kinda walked around, stole some stuff, and then logged off. She rejoined eventually and built herself a house and then logged off again. They wait for the day she joins again.

Carrie: She loves playing with mods and constantly begs Tim to add more and more mods. She has multiple separate servers of her own with different modpacks. She managed to convince Damian to join a server of hers that had a bunch of animal modpacks and they’re currently building a zoo. She also likes playing creative, even though she isn’t that good at the building aspect of MineCraft, but she tries her hardest, and has fun.

Harper: She begged so hard for Tim to make them play “The Floor is Lava” on the server that he eventually broke and did (creating a back-up first). They didn’t tell anybody, but suddenly lava started rising and all hell broke loose. Babs helped, and Harper hasn’t logged back on since Tim reset it back to normal. She’s waiting for when Babs hacks in and makes them play the Floor is Lava again.

Cullen: Really just wants to play normally, but knows its impossible. He made his house out of obsidian as much as possible so Jason couldn’t blow it up. He has diamond everything but Dick keeps replacing it with wooden stuff during prank wars and at this point he just lives with wooden tools now and doesn’t care. Jason still blew up his house.

Helena: She builds pixel art. That’s it. She’ll go mining with you and help you beat the Wither if you ask, but she just likes building pixel art. Also has an army of dogs rivaling Damian’s own, except she will actually use hers and doesn’t care if one or two dies.

Alina: She doesn’t like to go mining, she’s bad at fighting, doesn’t know anything about redstone or potions, accidentally hits bees and wolves all the time, but also has the most stacked gear. This is due to constantly asking her older brothers to give her items, or just straight up stealing them. When everyone figured out she was conning them, she logged off the server until everyone forgot.

Terry and Matt: The two brothers have their own two servers that they play on from time to time, one is normal survival, other is hardcore. They argue a lot as they can both be tryhards when it comes to the game, but they have fun together, so they don’t really mind.

[ragingbookdragon]

An Unexpected Friendship, But A Friendship Nonetheless

A Jason Todd and Harley Quinn One-Shot (Non-Reader Insert)

Word Count: 2K Warnings: Explicit Language, Angst

Author's Note: So I wrote this for @aurailia or @nitebirdie because she drew that wonderful Jason picture for me which you can find right here! I hope you like this, Jess! Love you! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Jason expected a lot of things.

1. Getting yelled at by Bruce for shooting serial murderers and rapists? Check.

2. Getting yelled at by Damian for calling him short? Check.

3. Getting yelled at by Tim for spray painting a billboard of him with penises? Check.

4. Getting yelled at by Dick for picking on his younger brothers? Check.

So really, it was getting yelled at by his family that he expected the most, but all things considered about his life, his expectations weren’t pretty high. He knew he was going to get hurt on patrol, knew was going to spend the rest of his life dealing with the chronic pain and learning how to manage it.

But the one thing Jason never expected, was to end up being friends with Harley Quinn.

And honest to God, the whole friendship only started because the psychiatrist they both went to accidentally scheduled them at the same time. A screw up. A monumental screw up. But it did lead to a revolutionary session where Jason and Harley spent most of their time badgering each other about their habits while the woman merely watched on and scribbled furiously at her notepad.

When they both left, they were in such a heated argument about which way would be better to deal with the Joker. Jason suggested a bullet in the head and Harley suggested cutting off his arms and legs. An excellent suggestion, he had to admit, but nothing would satisfy him more than killing the pasty bastard, and she knew that too.

Surprisingly, when Harley got to her bus stop, she grabbed the front collar of his shirt to keep him in place while she typed her number in his phone. Of course, Jason wasn’t sure what to be more concerned about: the fact that she’d lifted his phone without him knowing, or that she was putting her number in it and telling him to call her when he needed someone to talk to.

He’d responded that he didn’t need another shrink in his head.

She’d given him a pitied look and said it wasn’t for that, but for a friend.

And Jason wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but three weeks after, he was dialing her number at two A.M. just to hear someone’s voice over the deafening silence in his apartment.

They talked for hours about anything and everything. Cars, weapons, games, favorite childhood memories, everything they could think of. And by the time they’d finally talked until their tongues were numb, the sun had started peeking above the buildings in the distance.

He apologized for keeping her all night.

Harley laughed and asked to hang out on patrol come Friday night then hung up.

Jason hadn’t even told her who he was, but low and behold she was doing cartwheels on the roof of the building he was looking out on that night. And it should’ve annoyed him but hell, he’d grown up with Dick—gymnastics was something he was used to being around.

Halfway through their stakeout, she was perched on the side of the ledge, staring at the side of his head, and it shouldn’t’ve unnerved him like it did, but there was something about her bright blue eyes drilling into his brain that made his skin crawl—and not in the good way.

Will you stop boring holes in me, Quinn? He’d grunted. Pay attention.

Why? She’d retorted. Aren’t you tired of doing this? Don’t you wanna go do something fun?

Stopping drug dealers is good for Gotham.

I’m not talking about good for Gotham, Jason. I’m talking about for you.

Harley hauled him up and tugged him along, him barely resisting because good God she was relentless and headstrong when she put her mind to something. So, he let her. And she dragged him to the Bat-Burger down the block and shoved a roll of money towards the cashier, ordering one of everything on the menu.

And Jason found it really odd when he was balancing two trays in his hands while Harley carried the milkshakes over to the booth in the corner where they huddled in and started eating.

She held up a packet in between her fingers. Want some Jokerized seasoning?

He blinked at her and gently took it, sprinkling the red, white, and green flakes over his fries. And he wasn’t offended when she reached over and took one, popping it in her mouth.

It’s terrible to say it, but God I love this shit. She laughed and Jason’s jaw dropped.

I know! He agreed with a grin. I can’t help it! It’s so good!

Her eyes had narrowed at that. You should smile more, Jason. You look normal when you do.

Normal? He repeated.

You look happy. And that’s what you should strive for. She finalized and took the Robin Nuggets from his tray, grinning when he let out a noise of complaint.

When they could finally move after consuming so much food, she tugged him along to the department store that had closed hours before and while Jason wasn’t one to ever care about breaking and entering, he did have a problem with property that wasn’t a center for criminal activity.

Don’t be a baby. She griped and slipped in though one of the vents and Jason merely stared at the opening before he heard her yell to him. Get a move on! We have stuff to do!

Begrudgingly, he squeezed himself into the way too small vent and shimmied after her.

And Harley Quinn must’ve been planning this for a while because when his feet finally hit the floor, he watched as she started disabling security cameras and alarms in the entire building before spinning around and grinning at him.

Mall’s ours. Let’s get it. And she was off.

Bruce was not going to be happy about this but watching her swing that electrified bat at the glass windows, watching them shatter into millions of shards stirred up something devious in him and Harley was cackling when he broke a window with an armored elbow and yanked out the mannequin, tugging the black leather jacket off before shrugging it on.

He posed with his shoulders squared and strong and she clapped her hands. Looks good! Wanna go hit one of the jewelry stores and find some silver earrings to go with it?

Jason nodded and somehow Harley ended up piggybacking on him, giggling profusely when he started belting out Queen at the top of his lungs; she even joined when they got to the operatics.

And somehow, he let her convince him to go and help her raid the major makeup store in the mall. Harley managed to fill three backpacks full of lipsticks, foundations, eye-shadows, and a whole lotta other shit that Jason had no idea what they were for.

How much money do you think all that is? He inquired and she shrugged.

Probably a grand? Maybe two if I’m being honest. This place is a money-sucking-makeup-hog and I’ll be damned if I’m paying a hundred bucks for one set of lipstick and eyeliner.

She turned to him. Anywhere you wanna go? There’s a map out there if you wanna go look.

Jason nodded and walked out of the store while she was busy filling whatever belt pocket wasn’t empty.

After a few minutes, he heard, Found anywhere?

He pointed silently at one of the stores on the brightened map and she squinted, looking it over.

You wanna go there?

Wouldn’t’ve suggested it if I didn’t.

She shrugged and piggybacked him again. Lead the way, Jason.

He hated that the elevators had been out, and while he hadn’t broken a sweat carrying Harley up three flights of immovable stairs, his knees and his back were killing him when they finally got to the store.

He started wandering inside but stopped when she tossed him a duffel bag.

Fill it up with everything you want.

Jason tried to smile but could only manage a grimace as he stepped in and started going up and down the aisles. He wasn’t too picky with his choosing. Books that looked like they’d help manage his pain he shoved in the duffel bag. An electric pulsing gel pad went in too followed by a vibrating roller he could stretch his muscles on.

He was flipping through a book geared towards mindful chronic pain management when he felt her slide next to him.

Finding everything alright?

Mostly…this one is all about conditioning the mind to work with the pain.

Sounds useful. Meditation and mindfulness have been known to work. It’s really all about placebo-ing your mind into it. She looked at him. Jason, do you ever think about going to a physical therapist?

He scoffed. I already go see a shrink. Why would I go see another doctor?

Because your mind is one thing, and your body is another. Her hand was cool when she placed it on his arm. Jason, if you’re in pain, there are people who can help you.

He really wanted to be snarky but all he could do was glare at her. And what about you? Do you go see a doctor for all the things he did to you too?

Harley gazed at him for a long time before answering him firmly. I will if you do. Or… she started, then trailed off and picked up a few books on physical therapy. You can come to the apartment that Ivy and I live in and we can do it together.

And Jason blinked in shock because he’d never met a person who would agree to do something for themselves if he did something for himself, an agreement for dual help.

You’d really do that for me? For you too?

Harley smiled, big and pearly white, red lipstick a bit smeared in the corner from their meal earlier.

We’re both screwed up cause of what he did, Jason. But here’s where we’re different from everyone else.She linked her arm with his, leaned close and murmured. We’re not going to stew in it while healing is in our futures.

You know we’ll never be one hundred percent fixed, right?

It’s not about fixing, Jason. It’s about healing. Healing doesn’t mean you’re fixed. Memories, pain, it’ll always be there and no amount of management for pain or therapy is going to fix that.

She stared up at him. But it will remind you that you’re still you. Even if there’s a few broken pieces here and there. And no one can take that from you. Not even him.

Jason’s lungs were too tight to form words and his eyes stung horribly but he managed to swallow the lump enough to choke out his reply. You’re alright, Harley.

Smiling, she pressed her cheek into his bicep. Call me Harleen, Jason.

Not Harley?

No, not Harley. I only let the ones I care about call me Harleen.

Does this mean we’re friends then?

Oh, this absolutely means we’re friends now. Best friends, in fact. She tugged at his arm. And I think there’s a Wayne Enterprises outlet somewhere in here and I think we should leave Brucie boy a message.

Jason laughed and wiped his eyes, hurrying after her. Can we spray paint dicks everywhere?

Only if I can spray paint boobs.

You’ve got yourself a deal, Harleen.

Jason expected a lot in his life. To be yelled at by his family for being a pain-in-the-ass son and brother, to be injured on the job, to see a therapist every Tuesday and Thursday, to call his family every night to tell them he loved them.

But the one thing he never expected, was to find one of the greatest friends he’d ever had in a woman he had once been on opposite sides with.

He also didn’t expect Batman to come through the window of the outlet in the middle of their spray painting but that’s another story for another time.