#superfamily headcanons

[incorrectbatfam]

What tricks do the pets know?

Ace:

Operate the Batcomputer

Alert Bruce to possible threats

Microwave his own kibble

Speak multiple canine languages

Drag Bruce to bed

Do a headcount of the batfam before they go out

Use Bruce's credit card to buy chew toys

Titus:

Greet Damian

Secret handshake with Damian

Pose for Damian's drawings

Hug Damian

Comfort Damian

Retrieve lost batarangs for Damian

Put Robin costume in laundry for Damian

Guard Damian from the people in the TV

Reach tall shelves for Damian

Love Damian unconditionally

Alfred the cat:

Curl up around a tennis ball

Admire his reflection

Gaslight

Walk all over the dinner table

Bat-Cow:

Sit like a French girl

Do her 10-step skincare routine

Order a 4-course meal from Moober Eats

Unlatch the barn door

Book the private jet

Have a hot girl summer at the Running of the Bulls

Get caught in a love triangle between a bison and a buffalo

Spark an international conflict

Retreat to a Himalayan yak sanctuary on a journey of self-discovery

Meet a dashing steer only to realize they could never work out

Return home and put the plane back before anyone notices

Ghostwrite the next Nicholas Sparks novel

Goliath:

Sleep 20 hours a day

Breathe manually

Bite rocks

Jerry:

Be gay

Fall in love with plastic lawn flamingos

Attack the same flamingos

Peck people indiscriminately

Evade baths

Wiggles:

Ignore commands

Arson

Haley:

Shed all over the furniture

Run away from the vacuum

Weaponize puppy dog eyes

Convince Ace and Titus to share their treats

Clean out an entire jar of peanut butter in the time Dick takes to answer a phone call

Isis:

Bring rare birds to Selina

Leave scathing comments on dog videos

Cough up hairballs on demand

Blair Witch it in the corner of the room

Be bisexual

Eat hot chips

Lie

Dog:

Bark at nothing

Eat dirt

Play hide-and-seek with Jason's guns

Run into glass doors

Occasionally poop outside

Refuse to respond to her name

Chew her own tail

Meow for some reason

Moldy:

Help scientists discover new species of fungi

Induce vivid hallucinations

Cultivate an industrial society

BONUS – Krypto:

Chase airplanes

Aim for a fire hydrant from 50 feet up

Mark typos in Clark and Lois's drafts

Babysit Jon

[superbat-love]

Clark groggily blinked his eyes open. Something seemed off. His ceiling appeared unusually distant, and its familiar features seemed altered. His gaze shifted to a peculiar sight—a bat was perched on the ceiling. Bats in his bedroom? Bewildered, he turned his head, only to discover a slumbering figure beside him, resembling a Calvin Klein model.

Panic surged within him. Had he followed someone home from the bar last night? What had possessed him? And what would his children think?

The man stirred and opened his eyes. Clark launched into a flurry of apologies, admitting he had never been so intoxicated and couldn't recall anything from the previous night. The man looked at him with bleary eyes.

“Relax, Superman. Your virtue is intact.”

“What happened?” Clark realized he must have revealed his secret identity to a complete stranger.

“I brought you to my med bay and extracted the kryptonite from your chest, but you were shivering and dragged me into bed with you. You said you needed to protect me from the cold,” the man explained, slipping on his pants. “Since escaping your grasp was nearly impossible, I decided to make myself comfortable and settle in for the night.”

The events of the past week flooded Clark’s mind, and the man’s identity became clear. “Oh! I’m so sorry, that was presumptuous of me. Umm, I also want to apologize for trying to attack you yesterday when you found me, Batman.”

“What does presumptuous mean?” Someone mumbled nearby, but was quickly hushed by another person.

“Call me Bruce.” Bruce yawned, rising to his feet. “Don’t fret. I did use your son as bait, after all. And consider yourself lucky, I don’t usually sleep with someone on the first date.”

Clark blushed and fidgeted nervously. “I’ll take responsibility for my actions.”

Bruce smirked. “Moving a little fast, aren’t we? Are you sure you want to be taking responsibility for me and my eight kids?”

“E-Eight kids?”

“Yes, you can start by taking one off my hands. I recommend Damian.”

“You can’t send me away! Alfred would never allow it!” Damian protested from under the bed.

“We can play with my new Xbox! Dad just got it for me for my birthday.” Jon chimed in.

Bruce bent down to address the two kids huddled underneath. “I won’t, provided you stop eavesdropping on private conversations.”

Superbat Family Fics

[alfredsolos]

I came across these panels while re-reading supersons and I just had to make a post about it:

I desperately need this to be an inside joke among them. Like Damian calling Jon SuperBaaar/Boy Superman and Jon calling Damian Batboy to annoy each other.

[vodrae]

As Red Hood violently gets his hands out of Supergirl's grip without showing any efforts, Kara airy oxygeny hydrogeny beathy breathing breathes deeply profound deep.

- What ? The former Robin growls to her.

Kara's cheeks become scarellety bloody reddy red as she looks gently lovely fondly at the man before.

- ARE YOU SURE I'M THE MOST INDICATED FOR THAT ??

Scream Red Hood as he pumps gallons after gallons of venom in his veins to perform is best tug of war feat.

- Yes ! It's always a tie with Kon and Cassie ! PULL NOW !

- YES MA'AM ! He fearly scaredly shyly growls.

[friendlyneighborhoodplebeian]

There is no way that Supers are built like that in the eyes of Kryptonians. As humans to get stronger we need to work out, working out causes micro-tears in muscles that heal stronger that causes us to bulk up. But Supers are aliens, they are specifically aliens that are much stronger than humans naturally without working out, the Supers living on Earth have never encountered something that would be super difficult to lift that often meaning their muscles never experienced physical strain often enough to cause the micro-tears that lead to bulk. Meaning that Supers shouldn’t be built like that, they have never worked out a day in their lives, so if they were to meet a Kryptonian that did work out it would be comparing a babies bulk to a body builder’s. Is this a long winded way to say that I think that the Supers are actually as strong as an average Kryptonian and actually don’t have super strength comparatively to their alien race? Yes it is.

[spider-jaysart]

Character Headcanons: Jon Kent

@paladin-of-nerd-fandom65

1. He's a big Spider-Man fan and favorites Peter Parker. He has a lot of the comics, video games, all of the movies, and even has the action figures of Peter, Spider-Gwen, Miles, MJ, plus the Sinister Six and owns a Spider-Man hoodie and beanie too

2. He loves eating many ice cream flavors and likes adding many different toppings onto them

3. He has a big phobia of Peacocks and hates the fact that whenever he's at the Zoo, he has to end up facing them in person at some point, since they're always allowed to walk around the place freely. When he was really little, he would usually scream and cry if he saw them and would try to run or even fly away, causing both Lois and especially Clark to have to hold him down as best as they can and quickly go to a different path with him to get away. Now that he's older, he usually just cries to himself on the inside about it while having obvious panic on his face, gripping onto both of his parents hands or sleeves, and staying super close by their side safely, trying to walk fast out of there with them

4. His favorite flowers are Sunflowers. He loves how tall and beautifully lively they are

5. He isn't just taller than Damian, he's also like a giant standing next to other kids too, even his own brother Chris. Sometimes other kids are very surprised by this while others are a little afraid to mess with him because of it, even though he's obviously very friendly, which he usually tries to show them to reassure them that there's no need to be concerned

6. He loves singing while washing the dishes or making something to eat by himself, thinking he's all alone in the kitchen. Clark and Lois can always hear him though and always giggle and laugh together about it. They even have past recordings too of him doing this when he was too busy to actually notice them

7. He loves chocolate fudge cake with buttercream frosting

8. Just like how girl friends do when hanging out, he and Kathy sometimes have talks with eachother about boys, especially whenever Kathy wants to rant about the other ones that she knows if they did something to bother her

9. His favorite animated Disney movies are The little mermaid (she's also his fave Disney princess), Wreck-it Ralph 1, Ratatouille, Wall-E, and the Toy Story series

10. He loves painting his nails sometimes

Thanks for the ask, buddy!!

[avasem]

[violent138]

Haven't seen this/read this in any comics/elsewhere yet but it would be so cool if Clark also sent Bizarro to live with the Kents for a bit. Like the Kent Farm is a superfam rehabilitation/sanctuary where they all get to function and be smothered by Martha and Jonathan's love. The occupants of Kent Farm have included Clark, Conner, Kara, Bizarro (others?), and I think it's neat.

Also because it is just another showcase of what phenomenal parents the Kents are, and how they would've accepted their freaky kid in every iteration.

[ntshastark]

“That’s no robot -- He’s my pal, Iron Man”

Thor Vol 2 (1998) #80

Writers: Michael Avon Oeming and Daniel Berman. Penciler/Inker: Andrea Divito. Colourist: Laura Villari. Letterer: Randy Gentile.

[fryingpan1234567]

DID ANYONE ELSE KNOW LOIS LANE IS CUBAN-AMERICAN AND HER FIRST LANGUAGE IS SPANISH

like dude I’m so happy (I’m not Latina I’m Asian but still we love to see it)

so therefore headcanon that, while she’s admitted she’s not fluent anymore, she taught Jon the Spanish that she knew (which, granted, was a lot) alongside English when he was growing up.

they also celebrated Día de Muertos!! when Lois taught Clark about it, he was so in awe!! and was so glad to have a way to traditionally honor his family and planet!!

when Conner joins the family, it happens to be in the fall, so he’s roped into the tradition as well. while he doesn’t have anyone to celebrate, he does enjoy the festivities and lets Jon drag him around and show him the food his mom taught him how to make and the flowers and the ofrenda, which is half Cuban and half Kryptonian (quite the sight to behold). Conner loves the whole ordeal.

Damian is naturally all knowing and is aware of the holiday’s existence, but he really learns more about it when he and Jon get close. here on this blog we stick to the Latino!Jason Todd headcanon, and while his parents died while he was young and he never really celebrated, he was thrilled to have someone else in the house who knew wth he was talking about. and don’t tell anyone… but Jay keeps a small ofrenda for his parents in one corner of his room, beautifully decorated and kept up. Alfred is the only one who knows, as he helps Jason make the food.

just!! Latino Super-fam!! I lov them!!

[incorrectbatfam]

Gen Alpha Damian and Jon are funny, but I really feel bad for Dick and Clark, they're the sweetest boomer here

If Damian and Jon are Gen Alpha then that means Dick is older Gen Z and Clark is a millennial. So it'd be more like:

[Gen Alpha parent support group]

Clark: I can't understand these kids nowadays. Back in the day, the only things you had to keep track of were MySpace and AOL. BTW my parents didn't let me have them until I was almost 18 and even then it was only for an hour a day on our dial-up. Now I see Jon stopping in the middle of dinner to snap his BeReal or whatever before I got him to put his phone away but it's like... what happened? Where did the time go.

Dick: Facts, I vibe so hard with that. No cap, last night Damian was highkey shading me by saying I got too much Boomer energy to look like a snack and I deadass almost threw hands with a literal fetus before I had a galaxy brain moment and instead spilled the tea about his weeb stan finsta to my bestie Jason who made a kidsona burner to lurk and lemme tell you he ate and left no crumbs.

Clark: *runs out the room crying*

Bruce:

Bruce: All in favor of raising the group's age minimum?

[superbat-love]

Bruce: I’ve finally done it. I think this may be one of my best inventions yet.

Clark: Awesome! It’s a..a..umm is that a lollipop?

Bruce: It’s not just a lollipop; it’s THE lollipop, Clark. This is the lollipop that never ends, no many how many times you lick it. It’s a regenerating lollipop, the ultimate snack for superhumans with bottomless pits for stomachs.

Clark: Wow!

Bruce: Hands off! That’s not for you. I made them especially for Jon and Kon.

Clark: What? No! What about me?

Bruce: Okay, this S-shaped, apple-flavored one is for you.

[mockstarling]

Kinda sad DC Comics HCs

The Luthor Star

Lillian Luthor, Lex’s mother, has a natural formation in her irises that makes a star-like figure. She passed this down to Lex and after her death it was one of the only things Lionel, Lex’s father, could not take away from him. In turn, it was passed down to Kon too. Lex didn’t realize until he saw a close up on Kon during a news broadcast of a fight. Lex was alone in his penthouse so he allowed himself to cry.

Jon-El

Since Jon Kent’s Kryptonian genes are so strong, he developed purple irises once he has the Superman title because of how often he uses his powers and how much they’ve grown in power.

Damian al Ghul

Due to how Damian never knew anything about his father until he meant him in person, when he re-enrolled into school he kept messing up by writing “Damian al Ghul” instead of “Damian Wayne”.

Kon El Luthor

Given how Lional treated his family, the Luthor siblings made an unspoken pact that family comes first above anything. They drop anything and everything to be with one another when something happens. They even spend hours on the phone together at the randomest times. That being said, after Lex accepted that Kon isn’t go anywhere he has gone out of his way to make sure that he doesn’t get hurt or is given better treatment when he is kidnap or what have you by various villains. Yes, he paid them off. What do you want.

[vodrae]

First time meeting

Damian : "Your bones are wet."

Jon : "Hello too ?"

[i-might-be-jason]

Alright, Tumblr users. Let’s see what dumb shit I came up with today.

Speedsters have their lightning rods, right? Pull them out of the Speed Force when they get lost in it or whatever. This gave me an idea at the glorious time of 1:15 am.

Supers. They have anchors. When they’re flying a bit too high from where their friends and lovers are comfortable with (figurative and literal), they pull them back down to Earth.

Conner zoning out wayyy too much for the comfort of the YJ team? Grab Tim, Bart, or Cassie to drag him back down.

Jon getting excited and beginning to fly extravagant distances into the air? Damian will tell him to get down and calm himself, Kent.

Anchors can be platonic or romantic, y’know, your choice. Feel free to repost, make art, and do whatever with this new idea. Also please help me find more ideas for the names because anchors isn’t sitting well with me.

[birdy-bat-writes]

Head cannon: SuperFam taking care of a Sick Lois

Author’s Note: Heyyyyy. Can you believe it? I posted something! I know, I’m baffled too. So, I want to apologize once more for how absolutely inactive and DEAD I have been, like I’m pretty sure this is my first post in 2 years. I’m hoping this post commemorates the end of my slump and I’m so excited to be back into this community and talk to you guys! You don’t even know how much happiness I get from talking to you all!

In other news, I have COMPLETELY forgotten how to do this. I’m trying to remember and get used to the process of titling, adding the authors note, content warnings, tags, and linking this in my Masterlist and stuff. I had to dig through the depths of my computer history to find my taglist but I guarantee you guys I’m missing some things that are the traditional norms in tumblr content posts. Please let me know how I can improve! I imagine my writing has probably changed or gone down a bit in the time I’ve been inactive so I would really appreciate any comments either on the posts themselves or in my inbox or even chat me up! I love talking to you all! Anyway, without further ado, let me present to you, the shenanigans of the superfamily.

@offendedfishnoisesoises deserves majority of the credit because 1, my favorite enabler Is back at it again and enabling me and 2, they basically cowrote this entire thing! Love you fishhhhh!

____________________________________________________

Clark, Jon and Kon tend to be impervious to the majority of human illnesses. They do occasionally suffer a small cold from overusing their power and burning themselves out, and sometimes Jon and Kon’s human genes leave them a little more susceptible to the rare fever but for the most part, the superhumans of the Kent family don’t often get sick.

When they do? They are absolute babies, and Lois is the perfect loving caretaker who soothes them through it all. She’s taken care of countless colds, fevers, super sneeze attacks and more.

That being said, Lois is also the only one of the 4 who doesn’t have superpowers (the Kryptonian kind, her mom powers are unmatched and sharp as a knife), meaning she can get sick a little more often than the rest.

The first time she got a fever when Jon and Kon were both old enough to notice was a real experience. You can imagine how 3 supers (all of whom are very protective of their dear mom and wife) would be a little overwhelmed and panicked at the sight of Lois sleeping in until 2:00 pm, all pale and warm.

Jon: “No, this is freaking me out, should we use the ice breath?”

Clark: “No!”

Kon: “She’s breathing really heavily! Does this happen with colds?”

Clark: “Sometimes…”

Kon: “Sometimes?! What is ‘sometimes’? Does this happen to you? Did you recover fully?”

Clark: “Well, this doesn’t happen to me that often, but I think this is normal.”

Jon: “You THINK? No, no, I’m calling Grandma.”

It’s quite funny to watch because they think it’s way worse than it is. Lois is comfortably out with her Nyquil and sleeping through all of it.

At some point while Clark is being told what to add in the chicken soup by Ma Kent, Damian calls to ask if Jon wants to hang out.

Damian: “You busy?”

Jon: “Not now, Damian! I can barely hear my mom breathing.”

Damian: “WHAT? What’s going on? Is everything okay? Where’s your dad?”

Jon: “He doesn’t know what to do. None of us do. I’ve never seen her like this. I think I’ll get her some tissues to stop the leaking.”

Damian: “Oh my gosh, stay right there.”

So, then Batman, Robin, the Flash and Aquaman show up, because the JLA signal went off. I mean, clearly this is a JLA level threat.

Damian: “Where’s the blood?”

Jon: “What blood?”

Flash: “Oh my god, There’s bLoOd??”

Batman: “Clark, what happened?”

Clark: “She…. has a cold….Why is half the Justice League here?”

Jon: “There’s no blood, Damian, I got tissues to stop her nose leaking!”

Aquaman: “A cold? I thought this was serious!”

Clark, Kon and Jon in unison: “THIS IS SERIOUS!”

This is about when Lois woke up and opened her eyes to multiple superheroes in her living room waving around tissues and instant noodle soup, arguing over much water to add.

*Proceeds to check the expiration date on the NyQuil*

Deciding this was a fever dream, Lois closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

Damian: “This was your emergency? Grayson works through this all the time!”

Kon: “That might speak more to Dick's terrible self-care routine and even more terrible self-preservation.”

Flash: Maybe we can google some Home remedi- Aquaman! We talked about this! You don’t find a human being’s pulse in their feet!”

Aquaman: “Well how am I supposed to know? You think I’m a normal human?”

Flash: “Well don’t look at me! I heal quick.”

They all look at Bruce.

Bruce: *Sweats* “Don’t look at me, I have no clue what to do. It’s all Alfred.”

After a very long call with Alfred, everyone went home, and Clark carried his wife and kids to their rooms. He noticed that Lois ate some cheerios and the soup he brought to her before she fell asleep and stayed with her through the night to make sure she had everything she needed.

The next morning, Lois found the table laid with breakfast ready for her.

Lois: “Aww you guys! Thank you for taking care of me, you’re all so sweet. You know, it’s so funny I had the craziest dream yesterday.”

*Proceeds to tell them about how a chunk of the Justice League was in her house arguing over soup and how she thinks it’s a dream because such a bizarre thing would never really happen*

Them: “Haha, yeah, that’s sooo crazy. We would never actually let that happen….”

So, they denied it because in hindsight, it seemed pretty silly to be so worried. That’s not to say that they didn’t react the exact same way the next time Lois had a cold.

They couldn’t keep this secret forever though, as Alfred called to check up on Lois. It was at that moment that she knew, her boys had absolutely NO idea what they were doing, but she loved them all the same.

Lois: “Hey guys, I think my friend is sick. She’s feeling all dizzy. And a little warm.”

Clark: “Oh no, should we go to her?”

Lois: “Well, I was thinking we could the JLA and Alfred :D”

Busted.

Heads turn to her at breakneck speed, and she starts laughing.

She was definitely going to coach them later but for now, she just stood there with her family, taking in how much they all cared for each other.

_______________________________________________________

Thank you all so much! Leave a comment and tell me how you've been! I love you all!! <3<3<3

Taglist: @anothertimdrakestan @offendedfishnoises @comicsandhoney @river-bottom-nightmare @catxsnow @cries-in-fangirl @batarella @idkmanicantenglish @musesofliterature @l-horizondepeu @subtleappreciation @ereaaa @foenixphire @screennamealreadyused

I imagine some of you have changed usernames so i will look for your new names and try to add them! for now, Let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist! <3