#master shrimpie

[catfindr]

[ceruleancattail]

Summoning your Familars: Octavinelle Edition

Mystic AU

Mizuchi- water dragon/ serpent

Koromodako- octopus-like yōkai

There’s a certain tension crackling in the air. The brief moment of silence from both sky and sea, before they both whip up into a frenzy. A storm, fast approaching. Out of the corner of your eyes, you could see a serpent like shadow slipping in and out of sight, turquoise fins peeking out like a shark’s.

A warning of what… no. Who was to come. Right after you finish that thought, a weight crashed into your back. You’re tackled by a pair of lanky arms, scales glistening like mirages in the light. They were cold, chilling whatever they touched to the very bone. Those arms wrap around you, squeezing tight. Before you’re lifted right off your feet, cradled in the same pair of arms.

You come face to face with a pair of mismatched eyes, the effect of which was disorienting. A wide, toothy grin beamed at you, canines sharp as daggers.

“What’s up, shrimpy?

Ah, right. I’m supposed to call ya Master now, huh? You’re a little too weak though, to be called master… but don’t ya’ worry your head off now!

I’m right here now, aren’t I? Floyd Leech, the Mizuchi~ So if any one gives ya trouble, just holler my name, and I’ll come running just for ya.

Aw, did that make your lil’ shrimpy heart go pitter patter? You’re a cute one, Master.”

A chill races its way up your spine. This cold settles in your very veins, slowly creeping through your body. Freezing whatever it touches in a delicate layer of frost and ice. A laugh echoes through the air, tinged with cruel amusement, a mocking sort of sadism leaking through every echo. Reminiscent of the deadly temperature at the bottom of the ocean, both cold and cruel.

You feel eyes staring at you from every side, the gaze of a predator boring into your skin. Marking you as prey, as something to chase down and sink both tooth and fang in. In the midst of all these emotions, a chill presses against your shoulder. A hand, claws grazing ever so slightly against your skin.

You turn, only to come face to face with an eerily mismatched set of eyes. A placid smile dancing across his lip, quirking upwards slightly at your trembling arms. A hand brushes along the curve of your chin, gently tilting it upwards.

“You’re trembling like a leaf, my dear master. What’s the matter? The cold’s too much for you?

Oh dear, I always forget how… delicate you humans were. Well, feel free to huddle a little closer, don’t be shy. I am your familiar, after all.

Jade Leech, Mizuchi. At your service now and forever, my master.”

Your shadow seems to have a life of its own. Swaying from side to side, waxing and waning like the waves of the sea. It bubbles right before your feet, pitch-black tendrils stretching out, snaking around anything they could touch.

A breeze whips around your torso, carrying with it a familiar smell. The scent of a lonely morning by the seaside, a fresh start to a new day. Gently, your hand’s coaxed upwards by the breeze, only to be held by a gloved hand. A pair of mist grey eyes meet yours, amusement dancing within his gaze. Locks of silver curl down the side of his face, framing it perfectly. Much like a painted masterpiece, hung up for display for all to see. A gentle kiss was pressed into your knuckles. A light, fleeting touch, much like the kiss of the ocean, lapping against the shore.

He doesn’t let go of your hand afterwards. Slyly, his fingers slip downwards, sliding into yours. Intertwining your hand within his, a gentle pulse beating in time with yours.

“The benevolent, most wonderful Koromodako, Azul Ashengrotto humbly at your service.

Now, what poor, unfortunate soul is in need of my services? Oh, I didn’t mean you, Master… although you do seem a little more fatigued of late. Perhaps a rest is in order? I’ll take very good care of you… for an appropriate price, of course.

I jest. Rest easy, my Master.

I’m here now.”

[merakiui]

RABU.

yandere!jade leech x (female) reader cw: yandere, brief nsfw, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, implied murder/death, implied cannibalism, pregnancy, obsession note - i chatted with @heyyy11 and we discussed noodle shop owner jade!! :D this fic is the result of our thoughts. additionally, it's inspired by maretu's "binomi" and lyrics featured are from mitski's "me and my husband."

i. i steal a few breaths from the world for a minute. and then i’ll be nothing forever. and all of my memories and all of the things i have seen will be gone. with my eyes, with my body, with me.

There’s a pot of perpetual stew sitting on the stove.

It fills the small shop with savory scents, enthralling all who catch its delicious aroma on the air. Your husband of twenty years tends to it every now and then, lifting the lid to stir through its contents with a large wooden spoon. Regulars stop by for a fix of his food and comment much the same thing each time: “That husband of yours sure loves his stew.”

“Oh, he can’t get enough,” you would always reply, giggling at their observations.

You would then scrawl their usual orders in your notepad and they’d give you a knowing look. Still so infatuated even though two decades have passed—aren’t you the sweetest? But you can’t help it. Your husband is everything: affectionate, attentive, a masterful chef…

His forever single twin brother often groused that Jade got all the good fortune. “Y’know, if you’re ever tired of Jade, I’m here for ya,” he’d say, leaning over the counter with a sleazy smirk. “Shrimpy’s free to visit whenever she wants. My arms are always open.”

And Jade would smile tightly at him, brush him away with his broom, all while saying, “I’m afraid the shop’s closed now. You’ll have to come back tomorrow, Floyd.”

He acts in jest. Mostly.

Shortly after your wedding, on your first night as newlyweds, the two of you made a compromise. Jade wanted a family; you weren’t ready to start one. And so, in order to work through this dispute, you came to an agreement: He would be in charge of the prep work for the noodle shop he intended to open—a metaphorical child more than anything. In return, you would take orders and chat with customers. A fair deal, one you thought was attractive in its own right. Jade, ever so patient and understanding, lounged beside you in bed, gesturing towards the ceiling as if attempting to spell out the vision before your very eyes. He spoke so eagerly of his dreams. It warmed your heart.

Naturally, just as passionately, you would support him in his every endeavor.

“What do you think of this name? Rabu Rabu Ramen.”

You rolled over on your side, snuggling closer. You couldn’t snuff the overwhelming elation and tenderness that wrapped itself around you whenever you looked at him. And he was all yours—your husband to love forever, to grow old with, to experience life’s highs and lows together. Your wedding night was just the beginning of what would surely be a riveting romance.

“It’s silly.”

“It’s lovey-dovey.”

“If you like it, I like it.”

“Truly?”

You pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Absolutely.”

It wasn’t long before fantasy bled into reality. The both of you found a quaint spot in a quiet neighborhood. It was more hole-in-the-wall than you would’ve liked, but Jade didn’t seem to mind. Sometimes tourists stumbled in, commenting that they would’ve missed it had they not ventured down the narrow path. Jade liked that aspect. It was secretive, peaceful, off the beaten track…

By the end of your first year running the shop, plenty of praise had spread throughout the neighborhood. You learned the locals’ names and faces quickly, committing each to your memory as if there might be an exam later on. They thought you were the cutest, the way you’d take charge of the front while your husband worked diligently in the back. Grandmothers adored you, and they made sure to point out the obvious at every opportunity. 

“Omago-san, it’s too quiet in here! You’re still so young. Plenty of time for a family. Tell that husband of yours to get busy!”

You could only offer an awkward smile. “Maybe one day.”

When that ‘one day’ would be, you couldn’t say.

It’s become something of a widely-held belief that Jade can’t make a single bad dish. Everything on the menu is scrumptious. From the homemade noodles to the variety of broths to the additional ingredients, each prepared by Jade’s adroit hand, it’s a feast for the ravenous. 

Sometimes customers ask for recommendations, and if you aren’t careful you’ll end up fawning over every dish.

“It’s all so amazing, but I like my ramen with bone broth. My husband makes it better than I do.”

It was true. You couldn’t possibly replicate Jade’s skill in the kitchen. At the very least, when it comes to tea, you’re on an even playing field.

“Just what’s his secret anyway?”

To that question, you could only offer a shrug. “Maybe it’s love?”

Jade told you it was a family recipe—a cherished secret passed through the generations. You thought he’d confess at some point now that you’ve been part of the family for so long, but he’s yet to do so. It hurt at first. You’re married! Family! Jade is smooth about the entire thing, promising to tell you one day, easing all of your worries with sugared sentiments. You’re impatient and oh-so-curious, but you force yourself to wait for his sake.

It must be a special secret.

The pot on the stove is an heirloom. It’s old, yet reliable and sturdy. Jade’s mother gifted it to him in the wake of your engagement. Sometimes you think he treasures it more than anything. He’s always hovering near it, having forbidden you from lifting the lid, lest you unintentionally tamper with whatever it is he’s cooking. It smells hearty like meat stew most days, and according to Jade the process is long.

You linger near the stove. A tiny taste wouldn’t hurt, right? After all, Jade cooks things in excess to cure what appears to be an interminable hunger.

But then someone pokes their head inside the shop, calling out a greeting. You move to the front just as Jade returns from the storage room, carrying a crate of vegetables. That taste will have to wait.

Detective Azul Ashengrotto lowers onto a stool at the counter and heaves an exhausted sigh.

“If it isn’t Azul! What brings you here? Tired of the big city?”

Weary hues flick over your face. He manages a smile. “It’s a pleasure to see you again, (Name). You’re still as energetic as ever.”

“You know it. Every day’s sunny over here.” You rest your elbows on the counter and hum. “Although it’s been awfully slow today.”

“I envy you.” He lifts his hat off of his head to card a hand through tousled hair. Now that you’re looking at him, he seems to have lost some weight. His face is thinner. His eye sockets appear hollow, heavy with shadows. “They’re running me ragged over there. Too many cases. Not enough answers.”

“You ought to take better care of your health.”

“I am—will. I plan to as soon as I wrap up this current case.”

“What’s it about? If you can tell me, that is.”

“A young man went missing near the port. They think he might’ve fallen in and drowned. His wallet was brought up from the seabed, but they haven’t recovered his body yet.”

“How unfortunate… I’m sure his family’s distraught.”

Azul drags a hand down his face and sighs again. “A mess.”

“My, my. It’s been some time since I’ve heard that familiar sigh.”

Lowering his arm, Azul fixes him with a sardonic grin. “How kind of you to join us. I was starting to wonder where you were hiding.”

Jade hums and adjusts his bandana. “Forever confined to the kitchen. My wife is eating for two now.”

A minute ticks by before the realization flashes on Azul’s face. He looks between the both of you, stunned.

“Oh, you’ve—wow. I wasn’t expecting… Ahem. Congratulations.”

“Don’t listen to him. He’s talking about his stomach. I’m not pregnant.”

Azul’s countenance shifts through a catalogue of emotions before landing on a scowl. “To think I actually believed you for a moment. I rescind my congratulations.”

“My poor hara, endlessly empty without your sweet sentiments to fill it.”

“And my hara is telling me that you’re going to starve our guest if you keep being silly.” Clicking your tongue at him, you turn your much softer stare on Azul. “The usual, right?”

“Oh, thank you, but I ate before I came. I only intended to stop in and say hello since I was in the area. I really should be leaving now that—”

“Nonsense! You’re already here and Jade has nothing better to do. You should go back on a full stomach.”

“Indeed. A delicious bowl of tonkotsu ramen has your name on it,” Jade adds from his place in the kitchen. “And I do so love busying these idle hands of mine. Should they remain idle, I fear the devil may just find work for them…”

“I really shouldn’t…”

“You look so withered, Zuzu. You’ll feel better after a hot meal. I promise!”

The platonic affection twined through the nickname catches him by surprise. Huffing, his cheeks colored pink, he stuffs his hat on his head to veil the darkening blush. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt…”

“Yay!” You clap your hands together. “I’ll get started on tea.”

You weren’t going to give him much of a choice. Azul probably knows this by now, well-acquainted with your proclivity to play caretaker.

“This winter is particularly brutal,” he comments after you’ve fetched him a cup. It’s more of a change in subject than an observation. He shudders and burrows further into the warmth provided by his coat. “The worst time to die.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. Winter is full of mistakes. Drunken mishaps at night, in which the victim slips on ice and falls into the sea… Sometimes we miss them, and so they aren’t found or retrieved until they start to float to the surface after everything thaws. I can’t begin to imagine how painful that must be—to not know where your loved one has disappeared to, only to find them just as the winter frost melts away to usher in spring.”

“Oh, that’s horrible!” You set the kettle down, and Azul watches steamy tendrils curl up towards the ceiling. “Does it ever scare you—the things you find?”

“I’ve seen so much it’s difficult to know what real fear even is.”

“Ah.” You glance over your shoulder at Jade as he opens the lid on the pot of stew. Your eyes drift over towards Azul once more. “You work hard. You deserve a break after your next case.”

“I could sleep forever when that day comes.”

“Retirement isn’t too far, is it, Ojiisan?”

Azul chokes around his breath. “Do I really look so old? Oh, my heart… If these sleepless nights don’t kill me, that assumption certainly will.”

You giggle. “Sorry, sorry. I meant to say you look as spry as ever.”

“You’re too happy to hammer nails into my coffin.”

“I do it with love. It’s our secret ingredient, you know!”

“So I’ve heard.”

The rest of your conversation stalls out. You wipe the counter with a fresh rag in hopes of giving yourself something to do while Azul reads through the newspaper and sips at his tea. You watch him in your peripheral vision. Is he taking care of himself? It doesn’t look like it, but you’ve known Azul long enough to be familiar with his level of responsible efficiency. Maybe this particular case has him in the trenches.

Just how hard are they working him over there?

As his friend you worry. In fact, you worry yourself sick. Every time he visits he’s in poor shape. Though he masks it with confidence, you can see the toll life is taking on him.

“Have you ever wanted to get married, Azul?”

“If I find the right person, sure.”

“But?”

“But, seeing as that has yet to happen, I have no interest in pursuing something that might waste my time and money. Emotions are exhausting, even more so when invested in something like romance. It’s better to put them towards something that will yield solid results. Like work, for example.”

“That outlook is so frigid! Don’t you wanna fall in love?”

“Love isn’t going to crack these cases,” he grumbles at the paper.

Jade appears at the little window cut into the wall. “Someone sounds like a love killer.”

“I’m only being realistic.” Azul scoffs. “Besides, you have no right to speak as a married man.”

“Envy is a wicked vice. I’ll gladly help you overcome it.”

You take the bowl of tonkotsu ramen from Jade and set it in front of Azul. “Okay, enough of that. Let him enjoy his meal in peace.”

“But I haven’t yet had my fill of fun.”

You reach through the horizontal window to gently tug on Jade’s ear. He rumbles with laughter. “Don’t bully the guests.”

“Why, I would never, my dearest.”

Azul watches this back-and-forth with a forlorn longing in his pale blues. Wordlessly, he sinks his soup spoon into the broth and lifts the noodles between his chopsticks. He eats with such zest it makes you wonder if this is his first meal of the day. Sensing your stare, he attempts to pace himself.

You smile sadly. He looks like he needs this.

“As always, it’s delicious,” he says once he’s made a sizable dent in the portion.

Jade basks in the praise. “I’m pleased you enjoy it.”

“But… Well.” The ghost of a frown settles on his weathered features. “The broth tastes different. You must’ve used a new seasoning. Or perhaps this is an expensive cut of pork? Whatever it is, it’s different. Not bad, mind you. I’m sure if it were anyone else it would’ve been difficult to catch.”

“Is this the impressive power of Detective Ashengrotto’s taste buds at work?” you joke, to which Azul flashes you a proud grin that’s more teeth than lip.

“Well, I have been using ingredients with better qualities as of late… I’m not very fond of serving cheap products to honored guests.”

“Isn’t my Jade so considerate? He’s too cute.” You stand up on your toes to kiss his cheek. “He even grows some of the vegetables himself. Green onions and mushrooms and the like.”

“Ah, of course. How could I forget that dubious green thumb of yours?” Azul muses, recalling the time in which Jade served him a new dish in exchange for valid critique. He had conveniently neglected to inform Azul that it contained mushrooms, something he has eaten plenty of in the time that he’s known you and Jade. So many that all varieties have been spoiled for him. “In any case, what’s the secret ingredient? Imported pork? Some sort of flavor that’s seeped in when left to simmer? No, not that… It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t place it!”

Jade chuckles. “There is no secret. It’s just love.”

Azul pokes around the bowl with his chopsticks, his eyes narrowed with an intense scrutiny. “I can recognize every other flavor. The meat, the green onions, the egg, the noodles… And I can parse the broth well enough. There’s just something else—a hint of something I’ve never tasted before. This profile is missing from my gastronomic lexicon.”

You tilt your head, puzzled. “Well, it’s the same broth, isn’t it?”

The both of you turn to Jade for his input. He nods. “My recipe and method haven’t changed.”

“So it’s still the same as before?” Azul’s nose wrinkles. “Strange. I was certain there was a taste of something more…”

Before he can dwell on it any longer, the radio at his hip crackles to life: “Sir, you’re needed at the port. We’ve got something you should see. Over.”

Azul detaches it from his belt and lifts it to his mouth. “I’ll be there soon. Don’t touch anything if you can help it. Out.” Releasing the button, he deflates briefly and then addresses you and Jade next. “It was wonderful seeing you again, but I’m afraid I must cut my visit short.”

“Then we won’t keep you.”

He moves to pull money from his wallet, but you stop him.

“On the house. You deserve it.”

Despite your generous offer, he still places the exact amount on the counter. “You won’t make profit if you’re giving food away for free.”

“Wha—but you’re a friend!”

“That makes it even worse. It’s not very fair to favor me to this extent.”

“Azuuul, don’t be so stubborn! You did this last time, too.”

“I surmise it will be much the same next time he graces us with his presence,” Jade says, eyeing you sympathetically.

“Ugh. Really… If you won’t let us treat you, at least promise you’ll take better care of yourself. No more skipping meals. Get a full eight hours. Prioritize yourself, too, okay?”

Azul starts for the door, so you miss the way he flusters up to his ears. They’re all very valid concerns, of course, but then he’s never been able to swallow the embarrassment that accompanies being unduly fussed over.

“I’ll do what I can,” he says instead and steps outside into the snowy afternoon.

You fold your arms over your chest and huff noisily. “What are we going to do with him? He’s in bad health and he still insists on being difficult. Must he faint before he realizes it?”

Jade emerges from the kitchen, sliding easily behind the counter where you stand. An amused glint shimmers in two-toned eyes. “I suppose we can only hope he’ll fix his bad habits sooner rather than later.”

“If only there were two of me… That way one could tend to the shop alongside you and the other could help him with his work.”

Jade embraces you firmly. With a giggle, you crane your neck to look at him.

“Two is much too troublesome.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because then I wouldn’t have you all to myself.” His lips curve into a practiced pout. “What if (Name) Number Two finds Detective Ashengrotto more desirable than her own husband?”

You reach up to pinch his cheek in light scolding. “You know that would never happen.”

“It’s a possibility.”

“I would never. If I did, that wouldn’t be the real me. I love you too much.” You twirl out of his arms to collect the dirty dishes. “Hey, since he’s no longer here, what was really in Azul’s ramen?”

“I haven’t the faintest inkling, my dear. I used the same ingredients I always do. Perhaps he was tasting something that wasn’t actually there?”

“Maybe… He looked pretty tired, Jade.” You peer at your reflection in the broth. “I wonder if he’ll be okay.”

“I’m sure he will.” Jade follows you into the tiny, compact kitchen. “You do know his penchant for smoking has worsened. I fear his sense of taste may be compromised from so many cigarettes. That, and age. Oh, but these are merely my own theories. He might have caught flavors of a love he’s never known before on those ruined taste buds of his.”

“Ah, right. Because everything you make is filled with love.”

“Not everything. There’s still something I’ve yet to fill with my love.”

He presses himself against you, his hands settling on your waist. You roll your eyes at his very obvious flirting.

“I’m assuming that something is actually a someone?”

“Indeed. And she’s standing right in front of me.”

His arms snake around your front so that you’re effectively trapped between him and the countertop. His hands close around your breasts to grope you through your shirt. You shiver against him when his fingers brush against the precise area of where your nipples are. It’s when he pinches both between his thumb and index that you finally shut the faucet off, surrendering to his touch instead of the dishes piled in the basin.

“At least close the front. What if someone walks in?”

“Unlikely,” he murmurs, his lips hot on your neck. His fingers slip under your shirt to undo the clasp of your bra. “It’s slow today. We can manage.”

You brace yourself at the sink and gasp when he grinds against your ass. “T-Ten minutes.”

“Only ten?”

“Would you prefer five? Your mouth is so smart today.”

“My love, I need only seconds to unravel you. You’re quite easy.”

You bark out a sharp laugh. “I’m not the one with the hard-on, my darling.”

“You’re too alluring, even in uniform. So beautiful, always and forever, my sweet wife.”

“Flattery isn’t going to get you out of dirty dish duty.”

“How cold… You rival the snow outside.”

You shift slightly to face him, offering him an impish grin. “I’d hate for my Jade to freeze. Let’s warm up together, all right?”

You don’t have to tell him twice.

And all the while, your voices filling the kitchen in unison, bodies pressed close, the pot continues to simmer on the stove.

ii. and i am the idiot with the painted face. in the corner, taking up space. but when he walks in, i am loved, i am loved.

“Can I ask you something, Floyd?”

“What’s up?” he answers around a mouthful of udon. A few strands hang out from between his lips, and he slurps them up in a motion so fluid it leaves you impressed. As for the mess he makes… Not so much.

“What’s the secret thing that’s been passed through your family?”

Floyd blinks at you, lost. “The secret thing?”

“It’s some ingredient or flavor or…whatever that Jade says is a family secret. I have no idea what it is. He won’t tell me no matter how many times I ask.”

“Ohhh, you’re talkin’ about Mama’s pot, right? That thing’s been in our family forever. She gave it to Jade cuz I didn’t want it.” Floyd points with his chopsticks, playfully accusatory. “What? You into cookware now? I can getcha somethin’ if ya want.”

“What’s this about cookware?” Jade asks, poking his head inside. He looks warm and comfortable in his nagagi and haori, a pleasant sight for your eyes, but the broom clutched in his hands tells a threatening tale. 

Ignoring the fact that he so clearly eavesdropped, you wave him forwards so that you can straighten his scarf. Jade props the broom against the doorway before striding closer. He leans into your touch with a smug smile, which is shamelessly directed at his brother.

“Oh, you’re freezing! Let me fix you a cup of tea. You’ll catch your death if you spend any longer sweeping out there.”

“Thank you, my dear. I fear the chill is rather paralyzing…”

Floyd rolls his eyes. “He’s fine. Nothin’ he can’t handle.”

“I might just die.”

His dramatics don’t faze Floyd, but they do draw a chuckle from you. “We can’t have that.” You duck into the kitchen and return minutes later with a warm cup of chai. “Floyd was just telling me about your mother’s pot.”

“Was he now?”

“Only cuz Shrimpy asked.”

Jade blows at the steamy beverage to cool it before bringing it to his lips for a sampling. He hums his approval. “It’s quite special.”

Floyd slumps against the counter. “Whatever. It’s boring!”

“I suppose there isn’t much to discuss regarding an old pot.”

“Nothing we haven’t already mentioned.”

“Speaking of that… You thinkin’ about closin’ up the shop for the holidays? Pops’s been on my ass. He and Mama want you to visit.”

Jade gazes at you, but you’re already looking at him. “Should we?” you ask. “I’m not opposed. I just know you like running things here.”

“Not like you’re gonna get crazy business on Christmas.”

“No, but there are a fair amount of regulars who might stop by.”

“We should visit your parents, Jade. It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, listen to Shrimpy. Mama’s been missin’ ya.” Floyd shovels more noodles in his mouth. “And afterwards we can all do somethin’ fun on New Year’s Eve.”

“That sounds great! Let’s do it!”

“S’no fun spendin’ the holidays workin’ yourself into the ground.”

“Exactly. Your brother makes a good point. What do you say, Jade? We’ll make the trip to see your parents and then come back in time for New Year’s Eve.”

Jade smiles, approving of the idea. “In that case, I should call Mother so she knows when to expect us.” Taking a final sip from his tea, he rises from his seat and disappears into the kitchen. Seconds later, you hear soft footfalls on the floor above.

“You really don’t know?”

Floyd shrugs. “No idea. The only thing that kinda fits the whole secret ingredient vibe is Mama’s pot. That’s been passed through the family. Other than that? I’ve got nothing.”

“Well… Yeah, that’s true. Maybe it really is nothing.”

Floyd laughs. “This sure means a lot to ya.”

“Of course it does! We’ve been married for two decades and I still don’t know what this ‘family secret’ is. Decades, Floyd! Surely he would’ve told me by now.”

“Is it really that important?”

“It is to me.” You gaze sidelong at the broom and inhale a steadying breath. “It feels like I’m not a part of the family if he won’t tell me something as simple as this. You’d think twenty years qualifies you as—”

“Hey, you’re always gonna be family to me.” Floyd’s hand reaches to cover yours. He hesitates and instead grabs another napkin. “Jade’s just bein’ a hard-ass. Gets it from our old man.”

“Do you think this ‘family secret’ is real?”

“Who knows? I’m sure he’ll fess up once he gets tired of playing this game.”

“Yeah, that sounds like my Jade. He’s really too much sometimes.” You shake your head and sigh. “Thanks for saying that, though. That part about me being family. It… It means a lot.”

“It’s the truth.” Floyd sets his chopsticks and chirirenge down, lifting the bowl to drink what’s left of the broth. He whistles, supremely satisfied, and slouches on the stool. “You ever need anything—doesn’t matter what it is or how much trouble you think it might be—just gimme a call. I’ll be there to help.”

“Thanks. A-Again. Truly.”

Floyd flashes you a toothy smile. “Don’t mention it.”

You collect his bowl, intending to bring it to the sink, but Floyd’s next words stop you in your tracks.

“Hey, Jade’s got that pot on, yeah?”

“The pot? Oh, yes, the pot! What about it?”

“Has it been stirred lately? You gotta do that once in a while, right?”

Your nerves, which had previously been pulled taut, smooth out. He’s referring to cooking. Nothing else. Just cooking.

“I’ll do that. Thanks for the reminder.”

“Mhm! Smells yummy, by the way.”

“Doesn’t it? Jade’s food is amazing.”

“Mine’s pretty killer, too. You gotta come over and try some.”

“If you’re cooking for me, you’ll have to cook for Jade as well.” You giggle to yourself as you cross into the kitchen, only for the laughter to stick in your throat.

Jade stands at the stove. He lowers the lid onto the pot and sets the wooden spoon aside. He was so quiet you hardly noticed him. How long has he been there? When did he return from upstairs?

“Oh, good timing! Floyd and I were just saying the pot needed to be stirred.”

Jade smiles and takes Floyd’s empty bowl from you. “Did we all have a collective thought just now?”

“Ooh, like telepathy?”

“Wouldn’t that be shocking? Three-way telepathy.”

You watch Jade set the bowl beside the others in need of washing. “That would be so noisy! Three times as many thoughts… I wouldn’t be able to hear myself think.”

“It’d be like watchin’ a show about the two of you,” Floyd pipes up from the front.

“Thankfully, that will never happen.” Jade guides you back out. You peer over your shoulder at the pot. “What a relief our minds aren’t connected. I don’t think I’d enjoy a stray listening in on our private affairs.”

You slap his arm gently. “Floyd’s not a stray!”

“Might as well be since it feels like he’s kickin’ me to the curb. So mean.”

“Not at all. I’m just making a distinction clear.” Jade’s smile is razored, his words catty. “You’re always welcome to visit so long as you keep your hands to yourself.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hands off the Shrimpy. I gotcha.” Floyd pops up from his seat and stretches. It seems as if all of Jade’s remarks, each born from petty possessiveness, roll off his shoulders. “I’m not gonna steal her from you if that’s what’s got you so worked up.”

“You couldn’t even if you tried.”

Floyd’s once easygoing expression sours. “You’re beggin’ for cement shoes, ain’tcha?”

Jade feigns offense, placing his hands over your ears even though it’s a pointless gesture. “For my own blood to threaten me in front of my sweet pearl… It brings tears to my eyes.”

“All right, all right! I’m goin.’ Geez.” Floyd struts out the door, not wanting to be manually shooed out by Jade and his beloved broom. “And don’t forget about New Year’s Eve!”

You wave farewell until he’s vanished out of sight. Only then do you turn to address your husband. “You ought to be nicer to him. He’s your brother.”

“I was. Very nice, in fact.”

“Really? How?”

“I didn’t charge him for the meal.”

iii. me and my husband, we’re doing better. it’s always been just him and me together. so i bet all i have on that furrowed brow. and at least in this lifetime we’re sticking together. me and my husband, we’re sticking together.

Everyone thought the odds were significantly slimmer than that of younger women—impossible by your standards—but somehow you’re pregnant at forty-four. You suspected it when you missed your period and then, just days prior, woke up with a terrible bout of morning sickness.

Standing in the bathroom, staring at the positive test like it’s a relic from Atlantis, you pinch yourself. Hard. It stings, and with this your disbelief mellows into something astonished.

Pregnant. You’re pregnant.

And this time you’re ready for a family. You’re ready to raise a child. Somewhat. Amidst every positive emotion there's anxiety and fear, and they reign so tyrannical that you almost forget you’re meant to be excited. Tamping down insecurity, you turn the test over in your hands.

I’ve got to tell Jade.

But before that you think back on the timeline in an effort to pinpoint the fateful day. After mapping it out for a brief while, you arrive at what’s possibly the least romantic way to conceive a child. Going at it raw and reckless in the kitchen, bent over a sink filled with dirty dishes and pressed against the wall… At least it was in a place both of you treasure.

Not the worst place, you think. I guess it doesn’t have to be a typical rose-petals-on-the-floor situation.

You’re practically vibrating out of your skin when you tiptoe out of the bathroom. Jade’s already downstairs. You can hear him humming as he works to open the shop. Hastily, you change into your work clothes and stuff the test in your pocket.

Jade’s notorious for his surprises, but it’s never been easy to return the favor. You mull over this facet of his character as you skip down the stairs. How can you shock him with this good news when he makes it so difficult? It’s as if he’s always two steps ahead, expecting the unexpected before it can even happen.

Jade brightens when you walk into the kitchen. He meets you halfway, lifting your hand to his lips. “Good morning. How did you sleep, my pearl?”

You squeeze his hand. “Like the dead.”

He chuckles. “I’m pleased it was so restful.”

You glance at the pot then and an idea sprouts. “Is there anything else that needs to get done? Is the front opened?”

“Just about. I need to prep a few more things here and then—”

“I can do it! It’s just stocking up on what’s low, right? That’s not very hard.”

“Do you mind?”

“Of course not.” You claim the spot he had once been standing in. He was in the process of filling a container with chopped green onions before you came down. “Go on and open the front. I’ve got things handled here.”

“I do so adore you.”

“I adore you more.”

“I adore you most.” He beams and stalks off through the doorway. 

Now left to your own devices, you move to the sink and turn on the water to wash your hands. If all goes according to plan, you’ll open the lid, pretend something’s wrong with its contents, and when Jade comes over to investigate you’ll act as if you’ve pulled the positive test from the pot. It’s a harmless surprise. You’re sure he won’t be expecting it, especially since he’s the one who does all of the cooking.

After confirming Jade’s still busy with the front, you creep over to the stove. That infamous pot awaits. You slide your hand into an oven mitt and grab hold of the lid, lifting it slowly. You’re immediately hit with the delicious scent of bone broth, so fragrant it almost has you salivating.

Focus! I can eat after the big reveal.

You open your mouth to call Jade over and then pause.

Has he stirred it yet? It looks a little… No, it’s definitely murky. Is bone broth supposed to be this dark? Maybe I just need to stir it.

You lower the wooden spoon into the broth and, scraping along the sides and bottom, mix expertly. The bones knock into each other from the disturbance, and you inhale deeply. It reminds you of the tonkotsu ramen Azul fancies so much. You could go for a bowl right now.

You’re about to take the spoon out and cover the pot when something floats to the surface. Without meaning to, you recall Azul’s words from last month: Sometimes we miss them, and so they aren’t found or retrieved until they start to float to the surface after everything thaws. Curiously, you scoop the object up onto the spoon. Broth spills over into the pot and then you see it.

A finger.

A human finger.

What the fuck is a finger doing in Jade’s pot?

The nail has been plucked off and the skin is sagging away, turned to pliable mush from sitting in the pot for so long, but it is undoubtedly a finger.

A very real, very human finger.

Bile slithers up your throat with thick, acidic fingers.

Fingers.

There’s another one and then another. Three fingers. You poke around in the broth, dreading what else you might see. You don’t want to find a full set of ten. Anything but that. You count five and that’s all you can stomach before you’re shakily covering the pot with the lid. You set the spoon and oven mitt down next, your mind reeling.

You want to vomit.

You’re about to vomit.

You’re going to—

“(Name)?”

You whirl to look at him. Your husband. He stands in the doorway, a dark look on his face. You can’t describe the emotion, or lack thereof. It’s more of a shadow. An oppressive shadow. An intimidating shadow. A shadow that seems to say: You’ve seen too much.

“J-Jade!” How long has he been standing there? How much does he know? “Sorry. I… I felt sick just now. I think I should…rest a bit more.”

The gloom fades away into perfect placidity. “My, my. That’s not good.” He takes a step towards you and pauses when you jerk away. “Is everything all right?”

“Y-Yes, of course! I’m just…not feeling it today…or something.”

“I suppose it can’t be helped.” His eyes slide towards the stovetop. “I do so dislike getting into disagreements with you. So to avoid that I’ll ask once and only once. What did you see in the pot?”

Your spine stiffens, straight and still as a board, and you hang your head guiltily. “I… I’m sorry. I saw… W-Well, I don’t want to believe it. I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding or a mistake of some kind. It’s just that—um… I… I saw…”

Fingers. Human fingers!

“I saw what I think is y-your secret ingredient. The thing—” your voice cracks, and you swallow thickly to push rising bile back— “Azul tasted that day…” “And that secret ingredient is…”

Tears brim and spill over in silent, horror-struck waterfalls. You risk a glance at your husband, and a wobbly smile pulls your lips apart.

“Love.”

[rock-in-robins]

13 yr old, shrimpy Tim Drake forcibly shoving grapes down a depressed batman's throat: so B what did you think about Mr. Arnold's tax fraud and embezzlement?

Batman, sulking:

Tim nodding like he actually replied while grabbing more grapes: your right I should anomalously tell his wife he secretly has 2 kids

Alfred, not intervening: It would be the gentlemanly thing to do master Timothy.

[harunayuuka2060]

Ace: You didn't tell us you're working here for part-time.

Deuce: We thought you got yourself in trouble and you had to sign a deal with Ashengrotto-senpai.

MC: Yeah. Sorry about that. Grim's eyeing on this new gadget and he insisted that we buy it.

Ace: Then have him work?

MC: He tried. But he broke a lot of dishes. So I have to pay for that too.

Jade: *approaches MC* Sorry to interrupt your conversation. Can I ask you to clean up Table 8?

MC: Okay. *walks to clean the said table*

Jade: *chuckles* They're so diligent.

Ace: Ne, Jade-senpai. How's it going for them?

Jade: Azul's very pleased with their work.

Floyd: Shrimpy's a customer-magnet too.

Ace: Ah! Where did you come from?

Floyd: The back.

Deuce: Anyway, customer-magnet?

MC: *just as they finished cleaning up Table 8*

*New customers sat down*

Ace and Deuce: ...

Ace: Isn't that normal?

Floyd: No. Customers here like choosing the table they want to sit at.

Jade: However, when MC started working here, customers would immediately choose the table they have cleaned.

Jade: Even Azul was perplexed by this.

Ace: Oh?

Ace and Deuce: *looks at MC again*

MC: *talking to the customer*

*the customer seems to be asking for further assistance*

MC: *goes behind him then leaning close while pointing at the menu the customer is holding*

*the customer hiding his smile, blushing*

Ace, Deuce, Floyd, and Jade: ...

Ace: Prefect should be called the Rizz master.

[dark-pink-fantasy]

Jackplushie reblog

Demon Au

New AU

Demon AU

I am Myre

Grimm

Riddle introduction

Demon!Ace

Demon!Adeuce duo

Heartslabyul Clan pt.2

Living w/ Heartslabyul

Heartslabyul demons when their master gets hurt

Heartslabyul with a master who likes to pamper and take care of them

Demon!Trey, Riddle, Cater's reactions when Master steals a kiss from them

Warm ft. Deuce

Macaroni and cheese ft.Demon!Ace

Fake boyfriend ft. Demon!Azul, Trey, Cater

Fake boyfriend ft. Demon!Rook, Kalim, And Jamil

Savannaclaw Clan

Let me love you ft. Jack

Yandere Demon Ruggie with a master that spoils him

Demon!Octavinelle Drabble

A lone candle, a flickering flame ft. Demon!Octavinelle

Demon!Azul

Harsh ft.Demon!Jade

Demon!Octatrio Headcannons

Demon!Octavinelle Horns

Demon!Octatrio + reader cuddle pile

Demon!Azul with a moody self-indulgent master

Octavinelle devouring their master

Octatrios darling has fish/oceanphobia

Demon!Octavinelle's master's that's fallen head over heels for them

Demon!Octavinelle looking after their Master

Demon!Octavinelle with a master who already has a partner

Kissing Demon!Octavinelle when they’re “sleeping”

Master having both Demon!Azul and Jamil in the same place

Demon!Vil's Horns pt.2 pt.3

Demon!Kalim

Demon!Idia playing video games

Scarabia Clan

Demon!Jamil's Master

Demon!Jamil with a Master who tends to overwork

Pomefiore Clan

Demon!Epel

Demon!Rook

Demon!Vil (ask)

Silver and Sebek as Demons

Diasomnia clan

Demon!Leona and Demon!Malleus pt.2 pt. 3

Demon!Scarabia, Ruggie, and Vil with s/o who loves them.

Failing to Protect their Master

Demon!Kalim and Jack (ask)

Demon!Idia pt.2

Demon!Malleus

Demon Au brainrot pt.2

Consuming Souls

Contract pt.2

Contract ends pt.2 pt.3

Some Demon Lore pt.2

True Forms

Myre x Cater

Mas-tah (Ask)

Bestest Boi (Ask)

Marketable plushies (Ask)

Can a Demon can fall in love with their master? (Ask)

Past Setting

Myre's Favorite Demon pt.2

Demon!Trey, Ace, Azul with a s/o that was caught singing

How would Demon!Leona, Azul, and Jamil react to falling in love with their master

Cater, Trey, and Jade deal with a master who is guarded and doesn't fall for their lies and manipulation

Yandere Demon!Jade, Leona, Jamil with a sick master

Who would most likely to eat your soul once the contract is finished? pt. 2

How will Octavinelle give a massage to their master?

Which demons would be the most down to play the pocky game?

“Why would you complain about the close proximity?” ft. Demon!Jade

“Come on Shrimpy! I wanna eat cake!” ft. Demon!Floyd

[cloudcountry]

May I please get a fanfic where the guys react to male Mc/reader in a dress? Specifically for sebek, vil, kalim, jade and Floyd?

SUMMARY: Various TWST character reacting to Male!MC wearing a dress.

WARNINGS: None!!

COMMENTS: ofc you can anon <3 i think its funny that half the characters on this list would definitely wear dresses (at least they would in my head. vil is canon though for sure.)

Jade doesn’t even look twice when you exit Ramshackle wearing a dress. As a merman, he doesn’t see the point of assigning clothing to gender (nor does he see the point of clothing at all, but he digresses.)

He canonically finds clothing uncomfortable anyways, so he’s all for it if dresses are what make you more comfortable! He might make a dark joke about how the swishing of your skirt reminds him of the desperate struggling of prey but shhh

Sometimes he finds himself marveling at the fabric and how fragile it seems. It would be a shame if it tore, huh? Oh, don’t worry. He wouldn’t dare rip such a pretty piece of clothing.

Floyd being one of the characters I mentioned above...yeah he’s definitely worn dresses before, so seeing you in one only sparks curiosity about what the occasion is. Say, Shrimpy, why are you dressed up all handsomely, huh?

If anyone asks you why you’re wearing a dress “because you’re a boy,” Floyd’s making his scary face and threatening them with a good squeezing. It’s none of your business, tidewrack. Now scram.

Hell, if anything this makes you far more interesting! Do you see all those lame asses that wear the same shit every day? It’s a good thing you’re wearing something fresh and new!!

Kalim may sound insensitive at first because he blurts out a loud “why are you wearing a dress?” But he doesn’t mean any harm! Like Floyd, it’s more of a “What’s the occasion?” question!!

As a kid, he probably saw dresses and thought that they were nice, and let his sisters dress him up whenever they were in the mood to do so

He’ll talk for HOURS about how good the dress looks on you and offer to buy you more, much to Jamil’s annoyance. (Please tell him no, Jamil does NOT want to be taken dress shopping AGAIN unless it’s for your birthday.)

Vil “Fuck Gender Roles” Schoenheit doesn’t bat an eye. As far as he’s concerned, you’re wearing a dress and that’s a piece of clothing that’s androgynous.

I HAVE SEEN FANART OF THIS MAN WEARING DRESSES AND HE IS GORGEOUS. Bless the artists that draw Vil Schoenheit in dresses, I hope both sides of your pillow are cold forevermore. ANYWAYS my point is he’s completely confident rocking clothing that is typically seen as feminine and he would love it if you were confident enough to do that too!

And if it’s only something you do in private, be prepared to have Vil as your personal support system. He’s totally for you wearing clothing that you like.

Sebek sees you wearing a dress and his first thought is that you’re doing this for mobility. He compliments your dedication to your workout routine and offers some pointers in a very smug voice.

When you tell him you’re wearing it because you want to, and not for any training reasons, Sebek recoils in shock. What? Human, you mean your entire life is not spent training?! This is why you’re so weak!

Almost passes out when Malleus shows up the next day in a dress, saying the Child of Man was wearing one and he wanted to try it out too. I mean, yes, of course you looked handsome! But you always do! AND WAHHHH!! YOUNG MASTER MALLEUS!! YOU LOOK STUNNING AS WELL!! Crying ensues.

[ppnuggiex]

HII ur aesthetic is just so pretty and the way you write is so shekehsjjdkd fell in love when I read the first sentence, I'm not even joking😕

BUT ANYWAYY could I req diasomnia, heartslabyul, and/or octavinelle with a gn!reader who has a habit of squishing peoples cheeks whenever they hold eye contact 4 too long? /*flutters eyelashes cutely*/

THANKYOU PO IF YOY ACTUALLY DO THIS HOPE U DONT DROWN IN REQS OR SMTH HAVE A GREAT DAY MWAMWAA also i don't even know which characters are good with this kinda prompt so honestly im dependin on u 2 choose whoevee u want 🙇‍♀️ bye sissymars 🥺🥺🤭🤭🤗🤗

　　　　　　TWST x gn reader

　　　　『　malleus ,, sebek ,, riddle ,, cater ,, floyd ,, gender neutral reader    』

　　-> reader who squishes cheeks when ppl stare too much

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack

　　— TYSM 😭♥️♥️ this made my day omg ,, so glad you like my writing ,, i kinda did a few from each dorm you asked for except for octavinelle bc character limit is 5 for me 😭💔 but youre more than welcome to request for others ! :D hope you enjoy this 🙏❤️

    - malleus

| • he usually doesnt mean to stare for too long ,, always knowing it was rude and how it feels to be stared at by others

| • though he was focused on talking about the gargoyles at the gates and hadnt tore his gaze away for a moment

| • he shut up immediately the moment you reached out and squished his cheeks ,, eyes wide in astonishment

| • how fearless you are ,, child of man

| • he does ask about it ,, wondering what the reason was for ,, and when he learns why he apologizes and promises not to do it again

    - sebek

| • bro was on another rant abt his master ,, how courageous and how kind he is for putting up with these stupid humans everyday

| • oh how he adored his master ,, how pure and wonderful he was

| • it got to the point he was shaking your shoulders and making direct ,, intense ,, eye contact

| • annoyed with how long he was staring ,, you reached up and squeezed his cheeks

| • he jumps back ,, so confused and offended

| • why would you do that !?? explain now human !!

| • he huffs and puffs about the reasoning ,, but listens and respects your boundaries

    - riddle

| • he was probably ranting about another reckless first year making a mess of the kitchen or some students ignoring the queen’s rules

| • he didnt mean to stare for too long ,, most likely already knowing about how you get about it

| • when you squish his cheeks ,, he may or may not have let out an embarrassing squeak

| • he’ll puff his cheeks and apologize ,, telling you not to talk abt the squeak to anyone

| • his face is so red by the end ,, embarrassed he let himself stare too long and let out a squeak

    - cater

| • knowing how observant he is ,, he’d know about it immediately when he sees you do it to ace and deuce

| • he’ll be quick to discard his eyes when he realizes hes been looking too long

| • though he sort of stared a little too long once ,, trying to take a selfie with you

| • when you squish his cheeks outta nowhere ,, he’ll jump back a little and almost drop his phone

| • he apologizes and says he was adoring you for the moment ,, before taking the selfie and moving on to focus on that

    - floyd

| • he probably stares on purpose when he gets ahold of this information

| • its only so you can squish his cheeks ,, hes a bit weird abt it ,, craving your touch and if staring at you long enough grants him that then he will gladly do so

| • but if you get rlly bothered by it than he will stop

| • this time he just happened to do it accidentally ,, trying to memorize your smile as much as he could while it was there

| • he didnt realize what he was doing until you squeezed his cheeks with a huff

| • he blinked a few times before giggling and pulling you into his lap ,, wrapping his arms around you

| • “ ahhh sorry shrimpy ~ i didnt mean to stare too much ,,” he purred before pressing a kiss to your head

[captainjacklyn]

Yk the master chef event?

What if mc is done with Octavinelle and their shit so they serve takoyaki and a whole grilled octopus to azul.

And for the leech twins unadon or unagi kabayaki

I have nothing against jamil but I would serve him Snake soup or stew as a thank you for the damn overblot <3

also octavinelle + jamil please

WOAH !!! I LIKE YOU AND YOUR ANGER LET'S FUCKING GOOOO

Content : mc has had enough with everyone's bullshit and they decide to get their revenge by slamming food of themselves into their FACES. This is absolute CRACK, so if you wanted angst, this ain't it. Also this is rather short because besides being ABSOLUTELY STUNNED I don't know what to tell you.

Warnings : Cussing, a lot of cussing. If you don't want to read about the boys getting hilarious fucking trauma then don't interact with this. If you do then enjoy !

Cooking disaster event MASTERLIST can be found here

Mc being done with Octavinelle and Jamil's bullshit decides to traumatize them like their childhood wasn't enough

OH BOY WAS THIS SURPRISING FOR AZUL

his head probably went : "oh, so this is how it feels to have YOUR OWN FUCKING KIND SERVED AS A MEAL"

and reader, why would you go and say "Bon Appetit" like this was ok ?!

Reader : Death Stare Intensifies

.......

*decides to not ever fuck with you again cause he feels like the next thing on his plate will be the head of his own mother*

Looks at plate, looks at shrimpy, looks at plate and then looks back at shrimpy again.

Repeat the process until his neck decides to crack and fade into nothing but ashes.

He is surprised and absolutely-

I have nothing else to say, he is surprised what else do you want ?

and also why are you looking at him like that and for some reason he hears boss music-

"Bon Appetit"

.....

*Proceeds to look around him awkwardly only to spot azul with the same case*

Woah.. shrimpy is bold

This dud turned into the shocked pikachu meme right then and there when you gave him unadon.

he just stands there.

.....

I MEAN IT WOULD BE A WASTE IF HE DIDN'T EAT IT-

Oh OH OH

YOU HAVE HIS RESPECT GOD DANG !

Freezes completely upon realizing the soup that you gave him had snakes in it.

"I thought about you while chopping their heads of !"

will not mess with you ever again in his life.

THAT WAS BRUTAL-

he knows he probably deserves it for being a dick and all but that was UNEXPECTED-

sees you two days later and starts to speed walk away from you with a very confused kalim.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Could you do a yandere Idia, Malleus, and Floyd with a darling who acts like Jane Doe from ride the cyclone? (If you can’t do this I understand!)

I liked the play

and I love her ballad

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Jane Doe Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

(Y/n) (L/n) is known best for your stiff motions and disconcerting observations. Usually met with fear, impervious to insults you don’t understand, and often forgetting your name you certainly become a person of interest to many. And the many that get to know you realize you’re not nearly as frightening as they perceived nor do you mean to be creepy just confused. Unfortunately for them the more people who begin to realize this about you tend to get closer to you. Not on their watch:

Idia Shroud

“You know what I think is scary? That a bear who happened upon some cocaine started eating and became addicted. What stopped the bear was not his desire to use the energy he got from this new prey but because he died. It disturbs me how far addiction can disguise the hand of death.”

“If this is some round-about way to tell me to stop gaming then I don’t buy it.”

He’s not as off-put when he realizes you don’t fit into that ‘normie’ category

Nor do you fit in his slot as an ultimate gamer

Well he can fix that really fast

It starts with putting a controller in your hand

And he slowly finds he doesn’t get nervous around you…for awhile

He still finds his hair alighting in pink flames when your cheeks touch as he governs you over your shoulder

Or how he overheats at your willingness to follow his menial acts for your friendship affection

“Y-yeah n-normal friends sit very close no matter the setting!”

“Like this?”

“Y-yeah!”

“And I should wrap my arms around your waist like this?”

“Y-yup!”

And you are none the wiser when you’re practicing all his lessons with others that he’s watching with absolute rage

So like the game master, he is he keeps his eyes on the field having cameras anywhere and everywhere watching your every awkward movement

Fanboying when he gets the perfect angle of you curiously tilting your head

And for the trash NPCs that bother you him+ he’s using his technical prowess to put them six feet under

“Ha, stupid NPC they really thought I’d let that slide?! Fat chance.”

Malleus Draconia

“Would you like to brush my doll’s hair?”

“I would like to but it seems her head is missing.”

“Hmmm, that reminds me of something.”

“Oh? How so?”

“I’m sure I can–” 

*Detaches head from body Frankenstein style*

“Oh yes I still can.”

“Oh my–”

Not only do you have no fear of him but you are the most interesting character he has the pleasure of meeting

You're so unorthodox he’s never bored

Not that he ever would be

He truly falls when your blunt affection for him as friend lover+ stirs something deeper in him

He can’t begin to imagine life without you being beside

Him learning from him and freely sharing your observations

And despite many others cringing at your creepy statements

He delights in them

“It truly is horrific how easily guinea pigs decide to cannibalize their young.”

“Haha! Yes, that is true. If you were in their place would you do the same? I ask because I can relate to the jealousy of the male. I would rather keep you to myself for all eternity.”

He doesn’t hide his affections and immediately dives into courting you 

And you don’t have the knowledge to turn him away though

But should any unfortunate interloper put it lightly on your radar that you don’t have to accept

He’s smiting them then and there

“See. (Y/n)? He says such negative things and the lightning struck him immediately after. It is only the balance of cause and effect.”

Floyd Leech

“(Y/nnnn)!”

“....”

“(YYYYY/nnnnn)!”

“....”

“(YYYYY/NNNN)!!!!

“Ah, that is what I’m called…right?”

“Hmmmm nope, your name is Shrimpy!”

He’s had the most fun with you in a long time

Anything with you around is fun

Whether its because everyone’s reactions are fun when you talk 

Or how you make people run perfect for an ambush

To say he gets angry at your occupied attention is an understatement

It's more than joy 

its you 

your his, his territory, his name-forgetting shrimpy that belongs to him

“Your eyes are nice.”

“Ahah that’s cute Shrimpy! I share them with Jade!” 

“They’re wild…like that of a carnivorous predator. The kind that gut their prey while still alive.”

“Awww Shrimpy! Marry me.”

If it isn’t a given that he squeezes anyone who diverts your attention

But he can’t help but decide you don’t need to move at all from his reach

[magicpumpkin3]

Hyped cheerleader x Boys

Characters: Floyd Leech, Leona Kingscholar, Jamil Viper, Riddle Rosehearts

Note: I saw it in my fever dream

Floyd Leech

The utter child like happiness

He is so hyped that not only did you show up for the game, but also chear for him like there's no tomorrow. Standing there, covered in his team's merchandise, while holding a board with his name written on it with different bright colours and bunch of glitter, practically screaming on top of your lungs, whenever he earns a score.

When his attention snaps away from the basketball court to you, Floyd waves at you, with the most goofiest grin. You just make him so happy Shrimpy, he can't help it even if it costs them a few points.

During the time out, others sit and relax, but not Floyd, he has a hugging session to attend to. Boy will squeeze you in his arms, giggling like a teenage girl from 2010th TV show, while rocking back and forth on his heels, occasionally nuzzling his cheek into your face.

At one point, when he scores a point for his team, Floyd will yell "for the Shrimpy!" With his arms in the air, while looking you dead in the eyes with the most mischievous grin possible.

Leona Kingscholar

The smuggest anyone has ever seen him.

Who would be so hyped about a chess championship? Leona's herbivore would. While the game lasts they sit quietly, covered in Savanclaw like colours, with a huge banner with Leona's face on it, admittedly sometimes practically vibrating with excitement with attempts to hold their inner beast back not to distract one specific lion.

But as soon as Leona says checkmate it's game over for silence. Leona sits pridefully, arms crossed over his chest, looking down at his defeated opponent. Smug smile speeding across his face, like butter on a toast. While on the background his herbivore jumps in excitement, waving the banner, while pridefully announcing, how awesome he is.

When it's a break time, he'll lay down on your lap and listen to your praises. Smiling and looking at you with one eye closed and another slightly opened, when you go quite. What's the matter herbivore? Lion got your tongue?~

Leona will take this secret to his grave, but he feels flustered by this. Just a tiniest bit. Your bright eyes and wide smile do things to his heart, that the said organ isn't supposed to experience.

Jamil Viper

Second hand embarrassment.

Now, he appreciates your dedication to him and your full support, but Great Seven, that's an over kill. Jamil is so flustered whenever he's looking your way, he can hardly focus on the game itself. He is fighting Gods and spirits above not to throw the ball at you, for yelling his name so loud every time he was about to score.

One thing if it were just you, but somehow you decided to recruit Kalim into your master plan! This poor man is dying from the embarrassment.

Even though he feels extremely flustered and embarrassed, he actually likes how excited you're. The way your eyes lit up, the way you bounce around with banner in your hands, Jamil likes the fact that it's all because of him, he makes you feel this way and no one else. But he'll still talk to you about your impulse control, or rather lack of it.

During the breaks, he'd walk up to you and try to emphasize how your cheering distracts other players, only to be rudely interrupted by half of his team saying that they find your couple adorable. Jamil is going to murder them.

Riddle Rosehearts

First hand embarrassment.

This man will win this horse riding competition just for this to be over. Riddle appreciates the enthusiasm, but oh my Sevens, so help him. He is so red, that some people think that someone eat his tart again and he's fumed by his rage to the point where it helps Riddle to win round after round.

As much as he likes your... dedication, Riddle will talk to you in between the breaks. Yes, he'll be flustered and awkward about it, because secretly, he enjoys it a lot, but Riddle will still ask you to dail it back. But of course it holds you back only for a small amount of time, so the cycle shall repeat over and over again, and each time your beloved boyfriend shall be reder then the previous one.

Even though he is embarrassed and flustered almost to a critical point, each time he does something ‘incredibly’ Riddle will glance in your direction. Your cheers and excited expression fill him with determination to the limit, Riddle never had anyone, who’d be so happy and proud to be associated with him so much, so Rosehearts plans to make it all more memorable for you too.

[linkemon]

Love language headcanons

Friendly reminder that English is not my first language. You can check my Masterlists both in English and Polish here.

Consider supporting me on Ko-fi.

Other headcanons from this series can be found here.

Rook Hunt • Words

• If there is anyone at Night Raven College who has mastered the art of speech, it is definitely Rook. The boy has been using flowery phrases since you first met. It has become so much a part of him that you can't imagine him speaking in normal words.

• His love language is words, so he naturally gave nicknames to the people around him during the time he spent with them. However, you are unique and that comes with certain privileges. You have already been called the Crown jewel of his heart, An angel with a divine face, and The most beautiful person the world has ever seen. Interestingly, if anyone else had said it, you would have thought of it as empty platitudes but not with Rook. You know he sincerely believes everything he says.

• First graders literally can't listen to the boy for long periods of time. His words are so sweet that it makes them all sick, as Ace put it...

• Hunt likes to give you poems in which he praises various aspects of your character. Of course, the concept of beauty must always come up but he wants you to remember that beauty is not just about appearance.

• Rook uses foreign-sounding words very often. At first you looked up what they meant. Now you simply ask him to translate what he is saying but sometimes you will be refused. Some things are more interesting being a mystery...

Jack Howl • Acts of service

• Something broke? Need help you with your bag? Renovation at Ramshackle? This man is definitely the answer to all your problems. At times you feel that perhaps his distant connection to dogs due to being a beast with wolf-like characteristics is responsible for his textbook loyalty. Once you have won him over, he will always be there, willing to help.

• His love language seems to be usually favors. He'll find or take care of Grim when you're having a bad day. He will help fill the hole when your dormitory roof is leaking. He will lend you his jacket when you are cold.

• You sometimes let him do things that you could do yourself. All this just to see his satisfied face and his tail moving left and right when you thank him.

• You're not as fit as he is. If you go for a morning training session in the forest on the school grounds and fall down along the way, you can be sure that he will take you ona piggyback ride. He doesn't take you in his arms because he's a little embarrassed that you'll see him blush. But you know what's going on in his head because his ears give him away.

• You especially like it when Jack's favors include manual labor. You then have the opportunity to take a closer look at his muscles. And there are many of them...

Floyd Leech • Physical touch

• Floyd is a walking fan of touch. In various forms. Mostly squeezing, which most Night Raven College students don't like. Fortunately, he doesn't threaten you with anything terrible in this matter.

• It started with Floyd simply throwing his arm around your shoulders. He would always tell you that he was extremely bored as he led you to Mostro Lounge. It wasn't long before he started literally hanging on to you if you weren't paying attention to him.

• Nowadays, a boy loves to give you surprise hugs. Sometimes you have to remind him that he has a lot more strength than the average person and that you need a little more air in your lungs.

• He likes to grab your hand unexpectedly when you're passing the school corridors. One time it got to the point that he didn't want to let you go and went with you to Professor Trein's class. You felt a lot of shame then, especially when he told the teacher that he couldn't be separated from his shrimpy. Only when Jade came to talk his brother out of the idea of starting an argument with Trein, he announced that it was over for the day because he was tired of sitting in the stuffy atmosphere. He then got a week's punishment.

• You once bought him a tiny rubber ball so he could squeeze it when you weren't around. He liked it so much that now he won't part with it. You can meet many dissatisfied people on campus who were hit in the head with such a ball.

[howlingday]

Lord Taurus

Adam: Hello, ningen~!

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Adam: Ha ha... Your threats are as empty as your title.

Adam: All hail Weiss Schnee, heiress to nothing!

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Adam: Well, well, this could be quite salubrious for me.

Corsac: I'm not sure I...

Fennec: ...know what that means.

Adam: It means "beneficial to one's health and well-being," you dolts!

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Yang: Thanks for the assist, Ozp-AGH!

Adam: ...Oops! How rude of me. The pommel of my sword has slipped into your chest~.

Yang: Heh heh... No problem.

Adam: HURGH!

Yang: Sorry 'bout that. My fist just happened to punch your chest "on accident," too.

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Harriet: It's a simple fact; I'm the fastest member of the Ace Operatives!

Adam: So you're a master of retreat, eh? You must be so proud.

Harriet: (Activates Super-Speed) Get ready for a surprise!

Adam: ...

Harriet: (Running in place) My semblance will allow me to dodge your sinister and nefarious attacks with the greatest of ease! JUST TRY AND HIT ME! (Blinks out)

Adam: ...I'm just going to let that play out.

Harriet: (Attacking Adam, Missing)

Adam: (Backhands Harriet)

Harriet: Rgh! B-But how?!

Adam: That's funny, because I was about to ask the same to you. As in, "But how do you expect such pitiful attacks could do any damage to topple a top tier titan like me?"

Adam: (Grips sword) A grievous insult I intend to pay back tenfold.

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Adam: Is Yang not here yet?

Penny: No, but she's on her way!

Adam: Oh, look at that; the toy robot from Atlas. I remember watching you die on-screen before Cinder took over. I guess the Maiden's powers can bring back both the powerful AND the pathetic!

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Weiss: YOU'RE ACTUALLY MAKING ME HOLD ADAM'S HAND?!

Adam: Heh heh heh... There's nothing for you to be scared of Schnee. I won't bite.

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Adam: Well, well, it seems the woman of the hour has finally arrived! I've been waiting a long time for you! And I see your Schnee friend is with you, too. I would be surprised, but ningen never were good at fighting alone, were they?

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Ruby: Huh? It's you...

Adam: Salutations, ningen~!

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Adam: I remember when Nikos' partner was just a shrimpy, little thing. It's so touching to see boys becoming men.

Jaune: Adrian, stay back!

Adrian: But Uncle Jaune-

Jaune: You don't stand a chance against him, so just leave him to me!

Adrian: (Pouts)

Adam: What tender love~! I can barely stomach it. When I'm done with him, I'll kill the brat, too, so you can hold hands together in Hell. (Blinks out)

Jaune: Huh?!

Adam: (Behind him) NOTHING PERSONAL, KID.

Nora/Ren: JAUNE!

Jaune: AUGH! (Falls to the ground)

Adam: ...I'm sorry, but I don't think you understand how this works. Once you're on the ground and can't move, you're supposed to beg me for mercy! Say you'll do anything to spare your nephew's life!

Jaune: Ngh!

Adam: Come on! Let's hear it, boy! Cry for me! Scream! SOAK YOUR FACE IN TEARS AND TEAR OFF YOUR ARMOR IN FRUSTRATION! AHAHAHAHAHA! Not that I would let you live, but it's all part of the fun for me!

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Pyrrha: (Struggling)

Adam: Oh, I do respect powerful fighters. But there's one other facet to my character, which is...

Adam: THERE'S NOTHING I DESPISE MORE THAN NINGEN.

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Adam: That's it, Xiao Long! Keep getting stronger! Be your best lizard!

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Adam: Care to put her to the test?

Adam: (Draws blade)

Willow: (Shakes head)

SHKT!

Adam: (Sheathes, Ahem)

Adam: ...WINTER, LOOK! IT'S SUCH A TRAGEDY!

Winter: Huh?!

Adam: IT'S YOUR MOTHER! SHE'S BEEN FATALLY WOUNDED BY A STRAY ATTACK!

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Ozpin: There must be something you care about! The White Fang?! Loved ones?! Memories?! Everyone has SOMETHING they want to protect-

Adam: You're pissing me off! I don't care about anything or anyone. Hm... Except for myself, of course.

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Adam: I can't stand the sight of your pitiful, broken faces wearing MY masks...

Adam: (Grips handle)

Blake: (Eyes widen) EVERYONE RUN, NOW!

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Yang: You're definitely not a pushover, that's for sure. If you weren't so evil, you'd actually be a fun sparring partner. What a waste of talent.

Adam: It's exactly that kind of small-minded drivel that makes ningen like you so especially intolerable.

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Adam: WAKE UP! Torture isn't any fun if I can't hear you scream! (Stabs Yang's prone body)

Yang: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

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Adam: Attention, brothers and sisters of the White Fang...

Adam: (Points)

Penny: Huh?!

Adam: I will grant ownership of any human settlement to any one of you who can slice that Atlas toy in half!

Penny: What?!

Adam: Ha ha ha! History repeats, with only certain details that change. And when Xiao Long shows up, she'll give in to her rage again, leaving her wide-open for me cut not just her arm, but her head off, too!

[bluesylveon2]

A Twisted Adventure (700 special ft the second years)

This is late but thank you for 700 followers!! You guys are the best :)

Summary: Who are the heros who can save Yuu's life? The second years, of course!

Note: platonic second years x Yuu/reader, crack, chaos, humor, and Grim breaking the fourth wall. Loosely based on the LEGO Disney Princess Castle Quest

Warning: fem Yuu/reader, not beta read, and possible ooc characters

Word Count: 5.6k

Masterlist: here

Hear me, whoever is out there. Send me your greatest heroes to grant my wish. My master's life is in their hands. 

If there's one thing that went through the second year's minds right now, they understood how Yuu felt being transported to another world. 

The second years groaned from their spots on the floor. They looked up to find themselves in a vast room. There were multiple bookshelves surrounding them and papers scattered on the floor. On the other side was a large dome that reminded the students of a coffin.

"Where are we?" Silver groaned. His eyes landed on a window that had a purple aura outside of it. The last thing he remembered was walking to class with Kalim, and now he was here. 

"I have no idea." Jamil brushed the dust off of his school uniform and scanned the room. Floyd landed on top of Riddle; Jade was helping Azul stand up; Silver had a guarded position in front of Kalim, and Ruggie was fixing his hair next to Jamil. 

"Finally, you've arrived! I have been waiting a long time for you all." A familiar voice called out. The group turned to see Grim walking into the room with a relieved look. He was wearing his ceremonial robes instead of his bow. 

"What do you mean, Grim? I thought you were in Ramshackle?" The first in the group, Azul, asked while wiping the dust out of his school uniform. He recalled the cat monster sleeping there with the ADeuce duo. 

"Ramshackle? What's that?" Grim tilted his head. "That's beside the point. My master was hit with a curse, and she won't wake up. Her magic seems to be weakening too, which also affects me as her familiar."

Riddle pushed Floyd off to the side and stepped towards Grim. "Did you use your magic to summon us here?"

"I did. I called for heroes, and it summoned you all."

"Hero, you say?" Jade's smile looked polite, but there was eerie about it. "We are far from that except for Kalim and Silver." His eyes turned to the duo. 

"We would be happy to help!" Kalim exclaimed, but Jamil held him back. 

"Oh no! We don't know anything about Grim's master."

"Let me show you." Grim ran towards the back of the room with the others trailing behind him. He stopped once he was in front of a glass coffin (that looked very familiar to Riddle, Azul, and Jamil) and opened it. Inside was a very familiar Prefect lying on a fluffy cushion. Instead of her NRC uniform, she wore a blue and yellow dress and had a red ribbon on her hair.

"Is that Yuu?" Ruggie asked as he placed his hand on the glass. He inspected Yuu's chest (not in a perverted way) to see if she was breathing. Luckily for everyone, she was. "But she does not have magic."

Grim jumped on Yuu's lap and looked at them questioningly. "What do you mean? Yuu always had magic. Anyways, are you all going to help out or what?"

"Is Shrimpy trying to do a Magicam challenge?" Floyd suddenly stood up, excitement in his eyes. "I've heard of one where you slap someone awake," Floyd said as he ran up to the coffin, pushed Ruggie aside, opened it, and grabbed Yuu. "Oi! Wake up, Shrimpy!" He yelled at her sleeping face while slapping both of her cheeks. Grim could only watch in horror. 

"Stop hitting my human!"

Feeling the second-hand embarrassment, Riddle attempted to stop Floyd with Grim but was unable to.  

"I don't think that's how it works, Floyd," Jade said while trying to hide a laugh after watching Riddle. 

"Oh, I've heard of a situation like this!" Kalim jumped with joy. "I heard of a princess who slept in a forest, and a prince had to wake her up with a kiss! Does that mean we have to do that to Yuu?" 

"Is that what I need? A princess to wake me up?" Silver muttered to himself. Meanwhile, Floyd stopped slapping Yuu, and his mood shifted. 

 "No thanks," Floyd said nonchalantly, letting go of Yuu. Her body fell down in a plop, and the ribbon on her head was askew, 

"Floyd! Why did you do that? Don't you know how to respect women?" Riddle said through gritted teeth. 

Floyd rolled his eyes. "Of course I do. Yuu is sleeping anyways, and her bed looks pretty soft to me." He pointed at Yuu's rhythmic breathing in her chest. "See, she is still alive."

Riddles's face turned red from anger. "That is not the point!"

"Look, people! Let's just try to find a way to go home." Ruggie held his magical pen out and pointed it to a door. 

Nothing happened. 

Ruggie swung his arm again. "What the heck?! Why aren't you working?" He kept swinging his arm around and yelling. “Bibbidi bobbidi boo!” No sparks were coming out of the pen. 

"Maybe mine will work?" Silver walked up to Ruggie and mimicked him. "Ha!" He exclaimed, but nothing happened. "What is going on?" He brought his pen close to his face and examined it. "I thought you said that Yuu could do magic? Our pens should work if she does."

Grim shook his head. "Her magic is being used to protect this castle from outside threats." He pointed at the window that showed the purple aura. Silver looked out the window once more and looked more closely. 

"We are in a dome?"

"Mhm, and magic is limited here. This dome is Yuu's Unique Magic, Fantasia. Because of that, you all are limited to what magic you can use."

"I see." Jade hummed as he held his chin in his hand. "If Ruggie's normal magic did not work, perhaps we need something like our Uniue Magic?" He looked to Grim, who nodded. 

"Great. Just great!" Floyd wailed and threw his arms up in the air.  

Jamil only rolled his eyes. "Does waking up Yuu mean we can go home?"

Grim nodded, and Ruggie frowned. 

"Hold up. I ain't doing this for free. We deserve an award!" Ruggie exclaimed, causing Riddle to side-eye him. 

Grim felt a headache forming. "Fine, you humans. I have some great treasure lying here in this castle…"

Ruggie grinned and threw an arm over Jamil's shoulders. "Well, why didn't you say that earlier? We should help our dear friend out. For her safety, of course." 

Azul pushed up his glasses and joined the duo. He had a gleam that screamed thaumarks in his eyes. "I agree. What do we need to help the angelfish?"

Grim excitedly jumped out of the coffin and ran towards a big map on the wall. "You need to gather three ingredients. A rainbow pearl from a cave in Coral Beach, a golden flower from the Haunted Forest, and a dragon's scale. Those ingredients can make the potion to wake Yuu up."

"I see." Jade walked up to the map to study it. He turned to Grim, "Where might the dragon scale be?"

Grim shrugged. "I don't know. I never found the location."

"Really?" Jade leaned down and smiled, which sent shivers down Grim's fur. "I think you might know it."

"Nya?!"

"Jade, that's enough." Riddle said sternly. He turned to address the others, unaware of the eerie smile Jade sent to Grim. "We need to find these items so we can go home."

Silver crossed his arms. "And how do we do that?"

"Three of us have been in a similar situation before." Riddle briefly made eye contact with Azul and Jamil. "We just need to split up to find the ingredients."

"But we don't know where the dragon scale is." Silver countered. 

"I agree," Azul nodded and turned to Riddle. "As housewardens with experience in this situation, we should lead two groups instead. We know where two of them are. Let's find them first and then find the dragon scale after."

"I agree with Azul. Let's split up based on the locations. Jamil, Silver, and Ruggie, you all go to the Haunted Forest with me. I trust your magic will work in this area."

"No way am I leaving Kalim with them." Jamil protested and pointed at the Octotrio accusingly. "Who knows what they would do?"

Floyd suddenly perked up and joined the group. "I don't see what you should be worrying about Sea Snake. Sea Otter was fine with us before. Plus, his Unique Magic is suited for finding the pearl."

"I agree." Azul nodded with a smile on his face. "Kalim would be in good hands."

Jamil frowned, clearly not trusting Azul, and turned to Kalim, who only smiled. 

"Everything will be fine, Jamil. Focus on working with the others."

"Fine, but if something happens, then let me know."

Grim clapped his paws, and they began to glow. "Good, now let's focus on saving my human. I will give you two a bracelet to wear. Break it so you can come back here." A purple and black bracelet appeared on Azul and Riddle's arms. The group was surrounded by blue light, transporting them to the next part of their quest. 

Somewhere near a sunny tropical island, Jade, Floyd, and Kalim finally landed in the water. 

"Ah, this water is so refreshing," Floyd sighed in his merform.

Jade nodded. "I agree. It feels like we're back home." He swam around the coral reef for good measure. 

"Has anyone seen Azul?" Kalim asked, looking around. A very girly scream could be heard coming closer to them at that moment. A familiar silver-haired figure fell ungracefully into the water. 

"I HAVE BEEN FALLING FOR 30 MINUTES!" Azul yelled, causing the others to snicker. "Don't laugh! It is embarrassing that you all look unscathed compared to me!"

"Couldn't be me," Floyd smirked. 

Luckily for Azul, he had Kalim by his side. 

"Look on the bright side, Azul. Now, all we have to do is find the pearl, and then we can go home." 

Azul groaned. "My poor business is probably in flames by now."

Ding…ding…ding

"What is that?" Kalim asked, unaware of the looks on the other's faces. 

"I know that sound."

"Man, it's been a while since I heard that."

"I have a strange feeling about this." Azul turned to find the once-sunny sky disappearing as the fog rolled in. The bell chimed louder, and a giant shadow appeared. The sound of people's voices grew louder by the second. 

Floyd quickly grabbed Kalim. "We gotta hide Sea Otter." He said and dived down; Jade followed behind with Azul. The group hid behind some nearby coral to watch without being spotted. 

"What is going on?" Kalim whispered; his eyes watched the ship dock, and a figure with a big hat walked out. 

"Pirates," Azul replied. "People in the Coral Sea are not big about pirates themselves. I heard a former Queen met her tragic fate after accidentally running into some."

Jade nodded in agreement. "I heard she was valiantly trying to save her children, but she did not make it back."

"Pirates are not common now, so merpeople don't care about them anymore," Floyd added. "We prefer to explore their sunken ships instead."

"I see," Kalim replied. Suddenly, his eyes widen. He knew that gray and gold coat anywhere, having seen that once for Halloween. The smug look and the lion tail tied it all together. "No way! Why is Leona here?"

Azul glared at the beastman barking orders at his subordinates. In a typical Leona fashion, the crewmembers scattered across the island as Leona lazed around with a smirk on his face. Azul turned to the others. 

"Everyone, we must move before Leona gets the pearl."

Floyd raised an eyebrow. "And how did you come to that conclusion?"

Azul gestured to the beastman. "Look at his face. That is a face you typically see on Ruggie. Yet, Leona has it here. I'm certain he is looking for the pearl as well."

"Probably to sell it!" Kalim's eyes widen.

Azul snapped his fingers. "Exactly, and I refuse to retrieve that pearl by buying it out of his hands. I have more priorities than falling for his scheme."

"And how are we going to find the pearl? It could be anywhere on that island." Jade asked with an inquisitive look.

Azul glanced at Kalim and smirked. "I have an idea. But first, we need to get to the other side of this island."

"We're here," Jade told Azul as the group entered from the other side. Kalim let go of Floyd, and the two walked up to shore. 

The group headed inside the jungle. "We should be able to find the cave before Leona does. We just have to be sneaky about it."

"Maybe when we find it, Azul, we could camouflage and grab it," Kalim said aloud. 

Jade shook his head. "Leona has a heightened sense of smell. He would be able to track Azul before we know it. Plus, Azul is not the fastest on land."

"I can hear you!" Azul hissed at the twin behind him.

Jade smiled innocently. "I know."

The group continued quietly navigating through the jungle until they reached a clearing. They saw a cave with a lake surrounding it. There was no one in sight, and it was eerily quiet. 

Azul signaled to Jade with his hand and turned to the other two. "You two know what to do?"

Floyd rolled his eyes. "Duh, I was listening the whole time."

Azul sighed. "I want to cover our bases before we go. Remember what to do when you hear the signal." 

"You got it," Kalim whispered. With that, the group went their separate ways. Floyd jumped into the lake, and Kalim hid in the foliage. Meanwhile, ade and Azul walked inside the cave. 

"This cave seems small. I say we find the pearl and get out of here." ade said as he examined the interior. The cave was small enough for the two to stand side by side. It was dark, like the depths of the Coral Sea. 

"I agree. It should not be long before we do." Azul replied. 

The two continued their trek until they saw it. Not far from them was a clam about the size of a palm sitting on top of a rock. Although there were many clams nearby, the two knew that was the one they were looking for. 

Azul picked up the clam and began to put it in his pocket, but he suddenly froze. 

Jade chuckled. "I had a feeling this was too easy." He felt a sharp object hovering over him. 

"Indeed." A familiar voice said. His sword pointed at Azul's throat. "Now, hand over the pearl before I turn you into sand."

"Why am I not surprised?" Azul glared at Leona. "You would use us to do the dirty work to get the treasure yourself. How ironic."

"You could run, but that would be pointless. My men are outside waiting for you, so you either hand me the pearl scotch free, or you and your friend die right here." He pushed the blade closer to Azul, enough to draw a drop of blood. 

Azul chuckled. "You really cornered us…Alright." He put his hands up in surrender. "You win." He put his hand in his pocket and handed Leona a clam. 

Leona eyed the clam suspiciously. "Open it."

Azul's eyes widen in shock. "What?! You don't trust me?" He sighed dramatically. Leona gave Azul an unimpressed look. "Fine, I'll do it, but you must move the sword away first." Leona pulled his sword back as Azul placed his hands on the shell and glanced at Jade. "NOW!"

Leona narrowed his eyes at Azul as a chirping sound resonated through the cave. He pushed his sword back at him. 

"What did you do?!"

"Respite in the scalding sands, a neverending party. Dance! Sing! Oasis Maker!"

The small cave quickly filled with water, shocking Leona and his crew, but gave Azul and Jade the needed window. The eel kicked the sword off his enemy's hands and used the end to knock out the pirate. Jade quickly changed into his eel form and grabbed Azul as the water reached their shoulders. 

"You want the pearl? Well, here you go!" Azul threw the clam towards Leona, who was treading through the water like a wet cat. 

Azul and Jade swam out and met with the others, who were busy running away from their own pursuers. 

"Try and catch me, losers!" Floyd laughed as he used his Unique Magic to deflect their attacks. Meanwhile, Kalim used his water to knock out some pirates. 

"Let's get out of here!" Azul yelled, causing the other two to stop and make a run for it. The group did not stop until the Tweels were in their merforms carrying the others into the ocean.

Everyone knew that Jamil did not stand out in class. They did not expect him to scream the moment he "thought" he saw a spider. 

"Jamil, everything is going to be okay," Silver said reassuringly as he attempted to comfort him.  

Jamil let out a yelp when he felt something run across his arm. "No, it's not as long as we are stuck in this forest! Let's find the flower and go!"

"Maybe he should've gone with Kalim's group?" Ruggie asked, but Silver shook his head no. 

"That would be bad too. Sebek once told me that if Jamil ever got stuck on a deserted island, he would want to leave because of the bugs."

Ruggie groaned. "Great! Just great! So we're stuck with him instead!"

"I am literally right next to you!"

Riddle felt a vein pop out of his forehead as Jamil screamed for the nth time. "JAMIL IF YOU SCREAM ONE MORE TIME, IT IS OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"

Owwooooo

"What was that?" Jamil asked. 

"It sounds very familiar…" Silver trailed off. 

Everyone looked around cautiously except for Ruggie. 

"That sounds like a wolf. Maybe it's Jack?"

A pack of three wolves that were smaller but more vicious than Jack jumped out of the bushes. They eyed the group suspiciously. 

"You think they are nice like Jack?" Silver asked.

Grrrr…

"Definitely not!" Ruggie grabbed Silver's jacket and bolted in a random direction. "Everyone, run for it!"

Riddle panted as he leaned against a tree for support. The others rested on the ground to catch their breaths. 

"Did we," huff, "lose them?" Jamil turned to where they ran from. The forest was quiet once again. 

"I think so," Ruggie said, looking around the area.

"I hope so. I'm winded!" A soft voice added.

"Silver, you need to speak up."

"That wasn't me."

The boys froze, now alert, and scanned their surroundings. 

"Who goes there?" Riddle commanded and held his pen like it was his scepter. 

"Over here!" A skunk with honey-brown eyes waved his paw to get the group's attention. "Hi everyone! I'm Neige!"

Riddle blinked once. "Silver, please tell me you are the only one who heard the skunk talk."

"I heard it," Silver said, and Jamil nodded. 

"I think everyone heard him, Riddle," Ruggie whispered. 

Neige giggled (giggled for crying out loud!), "I overheard you are looking for the enchanted flower. If you want, I could lead you to it. This forest might be too confusing for tourists."

"Oh, we are far from tourists." Jamil scoffed quietly, and Riddle elbowed him. 

"That would be wonderful. Now, is there any way we could avoid the wolves?"

Neige tilted his head. "The wolves? I have not met any wolves here. I usually spend time with my forest friends in an abandoned cottage." He smiled, and a bright aura formed around him. 

The boys groaned. 

"I don't mind making the skunk my meat shield then," Ruggie muttered, causing Jamil to snicker. 

Neige was too unaware to notice. "Just follow me, and we can help your friend in no time!"

The small skunk leads the group through the forest. Luckily for everyone, they were moving fast enough to not let a spider crawl on Jamil (again). Neige eventually stopped moving when they got to a lake. 

"There it is!" He pointed to the center, where a golden flower lay on a small piece of land. 

"Well, that was easy," Ruggie chuckled. 

"We should get the flower and head out of here," Jamil said and started discussing a plan with Riddle, unaware of a comically large spider coming down from a tree.  

This was noticed by Silver. "Uhh.." His eyes watched as the spider crawled down from its web and landed on Jamil's shoulder. 

Ruggie looked at Silver questioningly. "What are you-" His eyes widened when he saw what Silver was looking at. "Holy shi-"

"Shhhh," Silver quickly covered Ruggie's mouth with his hand. "We need to get it out before Jamil notices."

Ruggie pushed Silver's hand away. "Who's we?" he whispered. "You saw it first! You should get it!"  

"Fine, but distract him and Riddle before either one notices."

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Riddle walked up to the two, a frown etched on his face. Meanwhile, Jamil only watched, unaware of the spider happily dancing on his shoulder. The sight would be hilarious anywhere else but where they currently are. 

Both Ruggie and Silver let out an audible gulp. They prayed to the Great Seven that Jamil would not notice. 

"Well?" Riddle asked, tapping his shoe against the dirt. 

"Oh, they're just looking at that spider on your friend's shoulder. The one with the long hair," Neige smiled, causing Ruggie and Silver to glance at each other. 

"What?!" Jamil looked to his left and saw the enormous spider grinning at him. "GET OFF OF ME!!!" He slapped his shoulders multiple times in hopes of getting it out. Meanwhile, Silver joined Jamil to stop him from hurting himself. 

Riddle felt a vein pop out of his forehead. "THAT'S IT! NOW THE WHOLE FOREST KNOWS WHERE WE ARE BECAUSE OF A SPIDER!"

Grrrrr

Ruggie sighed. It looked like Jamil was one of many who let everyone know where they were. 

The wolves came back, their eyes focused on each student. Riddle was not having it. 

"OFF WITH YOUR-"

"Wait!" Silver put his body in front of Riddle's pen. "Let me handle the wolves. You and Jamil focus on getting the flower."

Silver ran up to the wolves. "I know we are in your territory, but my friends just need that flower over there." He explained calmly and pointed to the gold flower. "And we will be out of your way."

The biggest wolf, whose fur color reminded Silver of Vil's hair, looked at Silver suspiciously and growled again as a warning. 

"Here, let me." Ruggie patted Silver's shoulder and walked to the giant wolf. Ruggie started using a mix of growls and barks, to which the wolf responded by doing the same. Minutes had passed when Ruggie turned his attention to Silver. 

"This wolf said that he will allow us to take the flower as long as we leave after."

"Alright, Jamil, come with me." Riddle said and made his way into the lake. Jamil sighed, holding his pen out in a protective stance as Riddle carefully picked the flower. 

The wolf's growl brought Silver and Ruggie's attention back to them. 

"The wolf wants us to go now," Ruggie said, slowly backing away as the wolves advanced toward them. "Riddle!"

"On it!" Riddle threw his bracelet on the ground and stomped on it. Suddenly, a familiar light enveloped the group, causing the wolves to stop moving and Neige to jump away. Everyone felt light as they floated up until they disappeared with a poof, leaving no trace of them behind. 

It was cold and eerie. It was far different from Yuu's warm and inviting castle. 

Riddle felt exhausted as he sat up. His grey eyes scanned his surroundings. Instead of a castle, they were in an empty field surrounded by thorns. "Where are we?"

"Perhaps we came here after getting our ingredients?" Azul said, pushing up his glasses. 

Jade rested his fist on his chin. "It seems like the bracelets brought us somewhere else."

"Maybe Grim brought us here?" Kalim asked, but Floyd shook his head. 

"Can't be. Even Grim didn't know where the place was."

Jamil frowned. "But where are we supposed to get the scale from?"

Silver felt a familiar feeling in his chest. He could not explain it, but their area was ominous and filled with black thorns. The sky was dark, and the only light sources came from the multiple torches with green fire. It looked like Diasomnia, except there was no dorm in sight.

"Guys, where are we?" Ruggie asked; he felt his hair sticking up like he was a cat. 

"This looks a lot like Diasomnia," Kalim said while examining the thorns. "Maybe we are in another part of the dorm?"

Silver shook his head. "No, I don't recognize this."

Stomp 

Stomp

Azul's eyes widened, and he felt a chill down his spine. How hiding in his octopus pot would be more ideal than now. "What is that?" He turned to the Leech twins, who both looked startled. 

Suddenly, a green fire headed towards the group, barely missing Kalim, or else he would be on fire (again). Loud stomps filled the room in a steady rhythm that grew louder by the second.

Stomp

STOMP

"Get ready!" Riddle pulled out his magical pen, and everyone huddled around each other. Their eyes trained on the fog, and a giant shadow emerged. The shadow grew bigger until it became draconic. A huge dragon with purple-black scales appeared. Its green eyes focused on the group like it looked at its next meal. Everyone had a mix of fear and alertness on their faces. 

All except one. 

"Wait, I know this dragon," Silver broke formation and started walking towards the dragon. 

Jamil grabbed his wrist before he took a step. "Silver, are you crazy? You could get killed by that thing!"

"I know what I am doing. Trust me." Jamil let Silver go, and everyone watched him slowly walk to the dragon. Silver remained neutral as the dragon stopped and looked down at him. "Your Highness. It has been so long since I've seen you. I hope that you are doing well."

Everyone's jaw dropped.

"No-"

"Way."

"Wait, so you're saying that dragon is Umiushi?!"

"How interesting."

Malleus ignored the group. "You are not Lilia, yet you remind me of him. Why is that?"

Silver briefly glanced at the group before answering. "Lilia is my mentor."

"A human? Please. What do you want from me?"

Silver's expression remained neutral, already familiar with the term. "My friend is cursed with a sleeping spell, and we need one of your scales to help wake her up."

Malleus frowned. "Why should I give one to you? A mere human." He said with disgust. 

"But Lilia is my-"

"Lilia is not here to defend you." Malleus cut him off, causing someone, probably Kalim, to gasp behind them. "Why should I hand my scale to you?"

"You'll see," Silver turned around and returned to his friends. "Azul, I need to make a contract with you."

Azul blinked, clearly taken aback. "Of course. What's in it for me?"

"I promise to work at Mostro Lounge for the next month if you can conjure a Gao-Gao Drakon-kun with your contract."

"Aren't those things for little kids? Would Malleus like that?" Ruggie piped up and glanced at the waiting dragon. 

Riddle shook his head. "Deuce once fixed Malleus' before. Malleus was so grateful that he gave Deuce a rare ore found only in Briar Valley."

Both Ruggie and Azul's eyes widen. "A rare ore, you say?" Azul snapped his fingers, and a bright golden contract and a fishbone pen appeared. "Just sign here and help our friend in need." He smirked with a gleam in his eyes.

Once the contract was signed, the contract disappeared, and a small purple and black device appeared. Malleus watched with a curious gaze as Silver returned.

"What is that?" Malleus' eyes glowed in interest. 

“This is Gao Gao Drakon-kun. It is a virtual pet that you take care of."

Malleus eyed the device with curiosity. "Give it to me, human."

"Not until you give me the scale, then we can trade."

"Very well." Malleus plucked a scale off his body and transformed back to the familiar form the second years were used to. He looked exactly the same, except he wore a long black robe with purple lining the inside. He held out the scale for Silver and examined the new device. "How does this work?"

"You press this button to turn it on." Silver explained. Meanwhile, the rest of the second years moved closer but remained cautious in case Malleus transformed again. "It can help keep you company until Lilia returns."

"I see." Malleus looked at the group and smiled. He waved his hand, and a door appeared. "You wish to return to your friend, right? Use that door, and you will be with her."

Grim's face lit up as a bright door revealed the second years and the needed ingredients. The cat monster rushed to greet the group. 

"You guys made it, and no one got hurt in the process!"

"Luckily," Riddle mumbled. 

"Is it just me, or does this Grim remind me of those RSA guys?" Ruggie whispered, to which Kalim and Silver agreed. 

Grim did not seem to notice Ruggie's remark. "You can drop the ingredients in there. It should take a few minutes for the potion to be ready," Grim said, pointing to a cauldron with an unknown liquid already boiling inside. Riddle, Silver, and Azul added their respective ingredients to the pot and turned to Grim with a pointed look.

"So where is the treasure you promised for helping Angelfish."

"That's right!" Grim beamed and ran off towards a curtain hanging on a wall. "How could I forget your gift for helping me."

Ruggie and Azul's eyes widen in anticipation. They could imagine the amount of gold and jewels they would receive and how much money they could make. 

"Ta-da!"

Only for their faces to fall flat. 

"THAT'S IT?" "WHAT?" Ruggie and Azul yelled out. "Where's the treasure?" They both turned to the cat monster.

"What do you mean?" Grim exclaimed. "The treasure is right there!" He pointed at the pile of tuna cans, causing Ruggie and Azul to tear up. 

"Typical Grim," Kalim laughed. "Of course, he would give us a mountain of tuna." 

Jamil and Riddle sighed and sat on the sofa. Of course, the greedy duo would think about money when the gift was from Grim. 

"This is some premium tuna," Silver said as he inspected a can. 

"Man, Baby Seal would go crazy if he had this in our world! Shrimpy would have money to spend on other things." Floyd laughed as he threw an arm around Azul. Meanwhile, his brother only patted Azul on his back as the octomer wailed with Ruggie. 

Grim stared at the scene and then at the roof. "These guys are annoying. Why did the author put me in this role? Was the one with the horns or the model not available?" The cat monster sighed and looked to the sky. "What do you mean it is not their story yet?!" The unaware second-year's voices drowned out the one from above as she replied to Grim. Grim sighed and faced the group. "That's it, I'm tired of them." Grim's paws glowed again. "They can go back home. I'll eat this tuna with Yuu instead."

"AH!" The boys collectively screamed as they sat up. All eyes wandered around to see the familiar colors and furniture of the Scarabia common room. 

"We're..back?" Silver asked, looking bewildered. 

"At least we're away from the tuna," Azul sighed. 

"It seems so," Jade said while brushing dust from his uniform. 

"HA HA, YOU ALL LOOK RIDICULOUS!" Floyd laughed at everyone's current state. Riddle and Silver had a trail of dried-up drool on their mouths, Jade and Azul's hair was disheveled, and the Scarabia duo plus Ruggie had marks on their cheeks from the pillows they slept on.  

Riddle turned as red as his beloved strawberry tarts as he wiped his face with his sleeve. "Shut it, or it is off with your head!"

"Oh, I'm so scared!" Floyd continued chuckling while clutching his stomach. 

"Oh, there you guys are." A new voice, Yuu, called out, entering the common room while wearing the same dress as the other world Yuu. The second years froze. "I thought you guys were studying? I didn't know it was nap time." The guys just stared at her like she was a ghost. "What? Is there something on my face?"

"You are the actual Yuu?" Jamil asked with suspicion while eyeing her dress. 

"And not another version?" Ruggie added. 

Yuu rolled her eyes. "Of course, it is me, or else I could not tell the Three Musketeers here." She pointed at Riddle, Azul, and Kalim, respectively. "That Crowley wanted me to remind them about tomorrow's housewarden meeting." She glared at each of them before returning the way she came. "Now, if you will excuse me, I must get back to shooting Vil's movie before he sends Ortho to hunt me down. I want to get paid for being on time, people!"

The group watched Yuu pick up parts of her dress and walk off, unaware of the shocked look on their faces. They sat in silence to process and question everything until Azul stood up. 

"Well, we had enough adventures for the evening. How about we all eat dinner at Mostro Lounge? Not for free, of course."

The boys sighed and agreed with Azul for once. It had been a very peculiar day. As the group left the dorm, Kalim could not stop thinking about something Yuu had said. 

"If we are the Three Musketeers, Can I be the one that looks like a mouse?" 

"Kalim!"

Disclaimer: I do not own Twisted Wonderland and its characters. Those belong to Aniplex, Walt Disney Japan, and Yana Toboso.

©: This story belongs to bluesylveon2 2020-23. DO NOT modify, republish, or plagiarize my work.

[p-redux]

From Anon that made me spit out my coffee this morning. 🤣

I didn't reply since I've answered this MANY times. Google Search is your friend, my friends. I am not Google, please, for the love of God, SEARCH my blog and/or Google before you come an ask me things I've answered over and over. Anyhooo, as she promised, the Anon didn't give up and sent another Ask this morning. 👇

Before I answer...🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 OMG, "Sam's penis seizure" will go down in fandom annals as one of the funniest autocorrect fails ever. "Sam's penis seizure," I'm still laughing. Needless to say, I think the Anon meant "size," not "seizure." But, hey, she's not far off, many penis do look like they're having seizures when aroused hahaha.

So, to answer your question, Anon. The shrimp comment Sam and Cait made years ago was this. They were having fun with Brazilian fans, tweeting in Portuguese. 👇

And Caitriona one upped Sam with 👇

They were OBVIOUSLY kidding and bantering together, as has always been their style. IOW, they were joking around. Anyone who actually thinks Cait was saying Sam has a small peen literally should go to Walmart and return their brain and get a refund.

Here's an old post where we all laughed about how funny Sam and Cait were being. 👇

As for the size of Sam's dirk, I've already discussed this MANY times. Here's an old post, where I mention it briefly, and what Sam himself said about it. 👇

And here is a longer post showing evidence that Sam Roland Heughan ain't shrimpy. JS. 👇

And finally here, conclusive scientific proof that TMGD aka The Magical Golden Dirk is so magical it makes grown women lose their dang minds. That doesn't happen with small dick. It just doesn't. 👇

I've seen lots 'o penis in my day, and small peen does NOT show from the side like this. 👇 It just doesn't.

Some men are "showers" a la Jon Hamm 👇 Meaning, their peen "shows" even when not erect.

But most men are "growers," like Sam. Meaning their dirk is well hidden and sleeping until it's gets woken up, and then it GROWS.

I hope that answers your question, Anon. But, please don't come back demanding I answer you and if I don't, you will keep bugging me until I do. I don't take kindly to people telling me what to do. Do it again, and I'll block you. I do thank you for my much needed laugh for the day, though. ❤️

[mochinomnoms]

Follow up question to the ask about a new nickname besides Shrimpy since the OP asker is allergic to shellfish…

Does Floyd’s nickname dictate Yuu’s merform?

Floyd: Nickname God, Master of Merforms! 🙌🤣

Malleus would be a seaslug mer oh god help 😭

No it doesn't, but I thought it would be funny as hell skjalsjflaskjf

I like to think that if any of the cast gets turned into mers, Floyd will get visibly distressed and annoyed if they aren't what he mentally assigned them to be.