#source: Young Sheldon

[vivianthepigeon]

Tim: “I need to tell you something”

Bruce: “What did you do??”

Tim: “when Alfred was doing our taxes he noticed a missing check”

Bruce: “what did you do???”

Tim: “Before I answer do you trust me enough to understand that it was for a good reason and just leave it at that?”

Bruce: “What. Did. You. Do.”

Tim: “it’s all Jason’s fault! He is a BAD person, I’ve been telling you for years!”

—————

Bruce to Jason: “WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Jason: “okay now before I answer that-“

Bruce: “just tell me whatcha did”

Jason: “I got a DUI”

Bruce: “Jason!”

Jason: “it’s not as bad as it sounds”

Bruce: “How is driving drunk not bad???”

Jason: “I wasn’t exactly driving”

Bruce: “I don’t follow.”

Jason: “I was at the bar with Damian and I had a few”

Bruce: “DAMIAN?!”

—————

Damian: “With God as my witness I’ve never been to that bar in my life.”

Jason: “He knows.”

Damian: “Oh I’ve been there a bunch”

[batfamgalore]

Jason: You’re gonna believe Catwoman over your own brother?

Dick: Well one of you called me super smart and the other one is yelling at me right now.

[liv45no]

Sirius, brushing his hair: ...98, 99, 100!

Regulus: you missed eleven numbers.

Sirius: I don’t need to be good at math. I have BEAUTIFUL hair.

Regulus: that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

[minimarvelh]

*Avengers meeting*

*Peter, bursting into the room*

Tony: kid, how-

Steve: you late

Tony: Steve, shut the f-

Peter: I kNoW I Am lAtE, thank you so much. My training wheels broke.

Steve *confused* training wheels?

Peter: yes, STEVE!! My training wheels. I have training wheels like a child! I also have a job like an adult. I aM a vErY cOmPlIcAtEd pErSoN.

[dead-sane-stuff]

Batsis: you guys, I just bumped into Damian's Mom on the way over here.

Damian: WHAT!? Are you Insane?

Batsis: nah, Bruce had me tested.

[mackerel22]

Dazai: And then Chuuya walked by ignoring me like I wasn't there.

Odasaku: Does he even know you like him?

Dazai: Idk, I've been ignoring him, been mean to him. What else can I do?

Odasaku:

Ango:

Odasaku: Sounds you've tried everything.

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Karai, about Mikey: It's my only brother's birthday!

Leo, Raph & Donnie: Excuse me??

Karai: Fine. It's my FAVORITE brother's birthday!

Leo, Raph & Donnie: Better.

[pooks]

Charlie: Oh no, we're going to jail! Percy: Bill's going to jail. I'm saying I was kidnapped. Charlie: That's a good plan. You and I were kidnapped. Bill: If I'm going to jail, we're all going to jail!

#disaster older siblings

[imbadatwrighting]

Darry: Have you lost your mind! Going out into Soc territory!

Curtis!reader: Ok in my defense—

Darry: You have no defense! You’re an idiot.

Curtis!reader: That was my defense!

[raphael-angele]

Tummy Ache

Nico: *gets a tummy ache and raises his hand* Chiron: Yes, Mr. di Angelo? Nico: I have a tummy ache, I'd like to see the doctor. Octavian: A tummy ache? Nico: Yes, OcTavian. I have a tummy and it aches, ergo, tummy ache Octavian: Ergo? Nico: It's latin, OcTavian.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Halsin: That reminds me of the time when there was two frogs on one of my nature walks and I accidentally licked the hallucinogenic one.

Wyll: Why lick either?

Halsin: Low blood sugar combined with an insatiable curiosity.

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

Lily: Have you lost your mind? James: Okay, in our defense... Lily: You have no defense. You're idiots. Peter: That was a big part of our defense.

[liv45no]

Sirius: how come math is easy for Reg but hard for me?

Andromeda: I don’t know, Sirius, but you have your own gifts.

Sirius: like what?

Andromeda:

Sirius:

Andromeda:

Andromeda: you have very pretty hair.

Sirius: true.

[thehungergamesmemes]

Finnick: Okay, in my defense-

Johanna: You have no defense, you're an idiot

Finnick: That was a large part of my defense...

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Kate: I’m looking after Nate.

Yelena: Where is he?

Kate: I didn’t say I was doing a good job.

[mackerel22]

Kunikida: Why is Dazai late, again?

Atsushi, writing Dazai's report: He said he's going through an existential crisis and won't get up of his futon cause he doesn't know what's real anymore. 😅

Kunikida: 😡