#bruce wayne is a simp

[prlssprfctn]

Batsiblings convince Jason to get himself a cooking Tiktok account, and he gives in. To his surprise, he quickly gains millions of followers and a loyal auditory. The only problem? Jason has no idea that these people came here not necessary for recipes.

Jason: Geez, my followers had been pissing me off lately.

Dick, confused: Huh? Why?

Jason: They keep commenting ATE. Like, dude? Fucking where? I am not eating in my cooking videos. What is the fucking point?

Tim, choking: Oh my fucking God-

Jason, making an angry text post for his followers: YOU ALL. STOP COMMENTING "RAW". MY MEAT IS NOT RAW. I AM A PROPER COOK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Cassandra: Maybe it is time to tell him...

Tim, Steph, Duke, in unison: NO

Bruce, awkwardly trying to have a conversation with Jason: Hey, lad, how is your cooking blog is going?

Jason: Uh, people keep commenting cryptid messages. Like, the last time I was showing the right way to tenderise meat for chops because apparently it wasn't clear and someone requested the whole video? Anyway, I did it, and the whole comment section was writing me "in bed, on the floor, on the couch, on a chair, against the wall, against the window, against the door"... Like, why would I do that, not in the kitchen?

Bruce, no less clueless: Maybe it some kind of challenge. Kids love trying new stuff in extreme places nowadays.

Jason: Huh. Maybe. Thanks.

Bruce, just proud to have a proper conversation and somehow a help: Anytime, Jaylad!

Damian, who was unblissfully educated on the slang matter by Tim (because it was his responsibility as a big brother to traumatise him), with his eye twitching: ...None of these words were in Quran

[zhelin-thames]

Danny as a popular ghost-hunting streamer and Tim as his (secretly smitten) tech-savvy boyfriend

Danny: Soooo, how did the new setup look on stream? 👀 Tim: Flawless. Your transitions are smoother than Nightwing on a trapeze. Danny: Thanks! …Wait, was that a compliment or shade at Dick? Tim: Yes.

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Danny: Dude, someone in the chat said my ghost puns are cringe. Tim: They’re right. Danny: Rude. I thought you loved me for my humor. Tim: I love you despite your humor. Big difference.

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[Group Chat: "BatFam + Phantom"]

Dick: Wait, Danny’s a streamer? Like… famous famous? Danny: Yeah, just hit 1M subs last week! 😎 Jason: How do you even ghost hunt on stream? Danny: I vibe with the ghosts. Sometimes literally. Tim: [uploads spreadsheet of Danny’s analytics] His audience engagement rate is 37%. Insane. Damian: You’re dating a YouTuber. Have you no dignity? Tim: Says the kid with a secret animal rescue TikTok. Damian: …

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[Danny streaming with Tim in the background]

Danny: Alright chat, today we’re exploring an abandoned warehouse! Should be super haunted. Tim (off-camera): Or just structurally unsafe. Danny: …Ignore my very responsible boyfriend. We’re doing this. Chat: WE LOVE TIM!!! Danny: I thought this was my stream. 😒

Tim: I saw you fell through a floor last stream. Care to explain? Danny: Ghost-proof floors aren’t a thing, babe. Tim: And neither is common sense, apparently.

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[Chat watching a rare collab stream]

Danny: Okay, Tim is joining us for this stream because chat kept asking! Chat: TIMMMMM!!! 🥰🥰🥰 Danny: What the heck, I’m literally right here. Tim: [flawlessly hacks into ghost-detection software on stream] Chat: TIM IS THE BEST. 😍 Danny: I can literally fly.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Bruce: What do you do if you wake up to one of your wards standing over your sleeping body, checking your heart rate while holding an Anti-creep stick?

Barry: Im going to take a wild guess here and ask: Was that Danny?

Bruce: Yes! He wanted to make sure I wasn't a vampire.

Clark: Where was Dick?

Bruce: Digging a hole.

Diana: Why was he digging a hole?

Bruce: In case I turned out to be a vampire, they needed somewhere to hide the body after Danny killed me.

Hal: Spooky, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I think those kids you took in are a danger to the public.

Bruce: They're good kids! Dick is just going through a lot with his parents being killed in front of him and Danny.....well, Danny escaped a lab that his parents sold him off to. Both of them are having some trust issues right now and are acting out. That's all.

Clark: Bruce, last week Danny broke into my apartment and held me at knife point demanding to know what my intentions were with you. He wouldn't accept that we're coworkers.

Bruce: He probably thought you were a vampire. Danny doesn't like those.

Hal: Didn't Dick break into your house too Barry?

Barry: Yeah, but that was more so he could cuddle with Wally then to make threats at me. Danny, on the other hand, showed up at three am. after rumors about Batman and Flash sleeping together went around. He threatened to cut the muscles in my legs so I could be " The fastest crawler in the world" if I didn't offer Bruce a ring by morning.

Bruce: Why is this the first I'm hearing about that?

Barry: *shrug* I figured you knew since the next day you showed up and apologize for the boy's behavior.

Bruce: I did not know. I was apologizing for him breaking into what I assumed was to see Wally while grounded like Dick. Great, now the boy is going to kill me in my sleep and/or ensure I never get a lover again.

Diana: I think it's rather sweet. Danny is placing a challenge for your would-be suitors. It's like a wolf pup attempting to scare away mates from his father. No real harm was done.

J'onn: He set me on fire.

Bruce: What? Why?

J'onn: Apparently, my eyes were on your back for too long. I was admiring your cape, but Danny believed my eyes were focused too low, and I was instead admiring your bottom. Dick threw glitter in my eyes a few hours later.

Bruce: *sigh* Danny is overly protective, and Dick does whatever his big brother tells him to. I don't know what to do anymore.

Oliver: Tell him you're a vampire but like a sluty one that feeds on lust instead of blood. He'll get scared and leave your dates alone.

Bruce: That's an incubus. What you just describe is an incubus. Also, that's a terrible plan. I would be in a hole so fast.

Hal: Yeah, but they would cry while they buried you so there's that at least

[bruciemilf]

Damian recognises his mother as a symbol of strength; she’s been sharpened perfectly, like a sword by blacksmith, to represent power in every definition of the word.

You simply, plainly, do not command power. It’s the law of things.

It comes by no surprise to him that she defends him passionately when parent’s night arrives at school.

Apparently, drawing your idiot classmates in various torture scenarios for calling him slurs isn’t a healthy outlet for aggression. Apparently.

“He could recreate these very easily,” she snarls, gem green eyes full of fire, “Would you like a demonstration? Because I’m positive my habibi would be more than happy to,—“

His father is winter rain, Damian learned. Unlike Talia, Bruce’s power is quiet.

Not meek, but timid, in a manner only shadows are. He’s dangerous as he is beautiful, which says everything.

Usually, his voice is soft, but when he watches his teacher with such scrutiny, there’s a sternness to it that has Damian’s back straighten.

“Sit down.”

Damian is absolutely shocked, because Talia just does. Huffing and puffing and crossing her arms with a sneer, but she does.

His bullies get expelled the next day.

—

Stephanie snorts when he tells his stupid idiot siblings about it. “Yeah, alright, little man. Did they give you a unicorn too?”

“It HAPPENED! I saw it with my own eyes!”

Graysons tuts, as if disappointed, “It’s not good to lie, Dami.”

“May ALL your children inherit your bad posture.”

[sparrows4bats]

Damian as Selinas Sidekick AU

This can go one of two ways. Either Damian gets left with Selina instead of Bruce by Talia for some reason and is a little shit. There's a few fics about this, and I love them.

But maybe funnier and more interesting is that Damian becomes Silenas apprentice out of rebellion and spite.

So in those first few weeks after he arrives, where Bruce avoids him, and the other batfam members treat him like a ticking time bomb. Damian, who is ten, traumatised and fresh from a cult, is left alone in a strange country. He only has Alfred the butler and his new kitten to keep him company.

So, in his loneliness, his talks to his kitten about how he is feeling and all the things he learns about this weird new city and people. The kitten sits on his chest and purrs while he wonders why his father doesn't love him when he's supposed to be the perfect blood son.

It's during one of these conversations that he meets Silena Kyle. She just snuck into the Manor to see Bruce about a case when she comes across a little boy who sounds like he should be crying but doesn't let the tears fall, pouring his heart out to a sleeping kitten. Silena decides she is going to steal this precious boy from Bruce until he learns to treasure him properly.

Damian, understandably, attacks her, but is hindered by the fact he won't risk Alfred the Kittens' safety around a stranger, so Silena manages to pin him after a long struggle.

The boy hisses threats and demands to know why she's here in his fathers house. When she lets him up, he asks whether his mother sent her.

Silena stays quiet and assesses the kitten he keeps bundled up carefully and protectively. When Damian notices what she is looking at, he tells her that her fight is with him and only scum harm the defenceless.

Silena smiles and agrees. She uses what she has overheard and makes Damian an offer she hopes he won't refuse. Come with her, and she will let him go wherever he likes and she will train him properly. Damian, who is reluctantly impressed by her skill and so isolated, agrees after she lets him bring the kitten. He figures that Bruce will come for him eventually, so what's that harm in getting a small reprieve from the Manor in a way he won't be blamed? (This is technically a kidnapping. Father can't berate him for that.)

Silena helps Damian pack his belongings. He has very little in Gotham enough to fill one bag, and she takes note of his sketch book and other art supplies. After she explains that she is the world's greatest thief, he asks her to liberate his swords from where Bruce has locked them away. She does so gladly while he tells Alfred the plan.

Alfred promises not to say anything unless Bruce asks. He smiles at Silena when she comes in with Damians swords and sends them on their way. (Bruce goes on his mission without asking Alfred where Damian is, not because he doesn't care, but because he is not used to having to anymore. Damian isn't Robin, so how much trouble can he be getting into without Bruce knowing?)

Damian settles in with Silena quickly and begins to train with her, getting good at using a whip and practising his swordsmanship. Silena compliments his technique but makes him rest after every session. Eventually, Damian starts honing skills in infiltration and social exploitation. He learns to assess people without as much trauma clouding his judgement. He gets so good at it that interacting with strangers feels less like a minefield and more like an opportunity to learn. Silena praises his patience and progress.

He loves Silenas' never-ending parade of Strays, and after a few weeks (Bruce is still away), he doesn't want to leave. Silena is patient and kind in the face of his insults and listens when he tells her that at Nanda Parat, things worked differently. If she can, she alters her language and home to suit him better and explains those differences to him without making him feel like a monster or an idiot. The first time he makes a mistake and expects punishment, he shouts at her. He makes himself look larger and stares her down like an abused cat expecting to be hurt, and Silena, she understands. So she sits with him, and they talk about what he considers fair rules and boundaries, and they negotiate relevant and just consequences.

He opens up to her about how he misses his mother but doesn't want to be an assassin anymore, how he never chooses to be violent without cause but still does not understand his fathers refusal to kill. Silena hugs him gently, and he just melts. The cats join their cuddle pile.

He goes outside and finds restaurants that serve dishes from his home and buys clothes that keep him warm and dry in Gothams permanent overcast weather. He goes to school and gets the teachers to give him advanced work while he interacts with people his age for the first time. He decides that he wants to be a doctor like Talia and Ras and provide health care for the people of Gotham who are not as lucky as him and Silena.

Silena brings him on jobs after he asks to join and agrees to her rules. They are gone with jewellery long before they need to be, and Damian finds it fun? Like an adventure, no one gets hurt, but he still scratches that itch to challenge himself and grow more competent. He starts to have real fun!

After a few jobs, and a camera catches a photo of him, he decides his name will be Stray. Silena helps him design his cat themed costume.

When Bruce gets back from space or wherever he is, he is stressed to find his son missing, and no one knows where he is!!

He searches everywhere before Alfred has enough of seeing him brood and gives him the lecture of a lifetime. It has been over two months, and Bruce only noticed now?! Only after hours of berating and forcing Bruce to make several therapy appointments does Alfred tell him where Damian is and what he has been doing. He's both relieved to see Damian alive and with someone he trusts but also jealous of the fact he looks so happy in his little cat hood and goggles

Bruce is prepared to plead and grovel for Damian to come back. But Silena denys him. Damian doesn't want to leave, so he won't. The rest of batfamily receive their own lectures and start trying to meet Stray during his robberies, where he easily escapes capture (or attempts at apologies for how they treated him).

It's not until Tim hunts him down that he has a proper conversation with any of them. Damian apologizes to Tim for hurting him and explains how what the League taught him about his family and how he knows now that it was wrong and cruel. He tells Tim how he is trying to find his own path, with Catwoman to guide him. He may not be a bat, but he is also no longer an assassin. Tim is confused, feeling a little guilty, but touched as he stares at this small child with cat ears on his hood and paw pads on his gloves.

Tim knows what neglect feels like and is horrified that he let it happen to another kid, even one that tried to kill him. Tim accepts the apology and, on the advice of Alfred Pennyworth, asks to visit him soon. Damian allows it as long as he teaches him how he tracked Damian down in the first place.

Tim and Damian become friends in no time, with Dick joining them later, after he convinces Tim to help get Damian to trust him so he can say sorry for not trying harder to get to know him.

Silena still will not return her kitten no matter how much Bruce begs. He eventually argues for visitation roghts and makes up with both Silena and Damian. A lot of bribery is involved, and large donations are made to all Gotham no kill shelters.

When he and Silena start dating again, Damian holds him at sword point and delivers a horrifying shovel talk. Bruce pouts about his own son telling him he will never deserve the gift that is Silena Kyle, so he better work every damn day of his life if he stands a chance in keeping her. When he proposes Damian battles Harley and Ivy for the right to be her best man. Years later, Catwoman and Stray are common members of the Batfamily.

Talia accepts Silena in time after she sees how at peace her baby is. They have tea every few months and swap stories about their favourite men. Damian grows up so pretty with both his moms, influcing his looks and style. He is a beauty, and it makes him even more dangerous.

The Justice League meets Damian after Tim calls him in on a mission that requires infiltration and recovery of highly delicate materials. Stray gets the job done in a few hours and strides into the hall of justice and the Watchtower with a grace only a cat possesses. He waves at Tim and Dick. Bruce thanks him for a job well done, and even after all these years, Damian preens under his praise. He gives his report and the stolen material over and charms everyone before disappearing back into the shadows in front of everyone. How?? Only Cass can do that? Right? (Damian insisted on training with his family for them to earn his forgiveness, and now his siblings know that if they need a favour, they muster offer a skill.)

The younger members of the League develop a collective crush on Stray, much to the horror of his family.

Jon Kent meets Dr Damian Kyle-Wayne a week later when he brings a teammate to the hospital and recognises his hypnotic heartbeat and pretty green eyes.

Jon then does his level best to court the cat themed anti hero without being found out by his overprotective family. Jon is a simp for this man, and it's not long before Damian returns his intensity.

He showers Jon with gifts and flirts shamelessly. Jons' poor Midwestern heart can only take so much. Jon teases him back, of course, but is a lot more physical. He hugs Damian and runs his hands over his cheek before kissing him. Both delight in trying to get each other to blush and often end up in a state themselves.

Damian charms all the Kents and has fun getting to know them all after bringing him to a family dinner. After a while, Damian brings Jon home to meet the family, and Jon survives the gauntlet that is the bats and cats.

Superboy is a clingy little puppy the next time Stray visits the Watchtower, much to the confusion of most other hereos. But no one is stupid enough to risk trying to get close to Stray with his guard dog nearby. Bruce, while hesitant about their relationship at first, (he wept at the idea of losing his darling baby boy to a super of all people). Looks at Jon approvingly all meeting long.

Bruce, Talia, and Silena all give Jon permission to marry Damian after he saves him from a hostage situation at the hospital. Tim and Dick never let Jon forget they will destroy him if he ever messes up while Jason and Stephanie welcome him to the nut house.

Stray and Superboy are the JL OTP after they announce their engagement, even if a few people glare at Jon with envy. Jon knows and is so proud of himself for landing such an incredible husband.

[caffeinatedvigilantewriter]

This is a mashup of various tropes. Don’t like don’t read. May include

- deaged danny

- Damian x Dani (serious chaos)

- dead Jazz

- dead Sam

- dead Tucker

- not-shit parent Vlad (kinda)

- the Waynes have a strength kink

So when Danny is 18 and have safely moved out, has financial security and can go no contact with his parents he decides to tell him that he’s Phantom.

It doesn’t go well.

By the time Jazz Sam and Tucker find him he is deaged to around 6. The fentonworks lab explodes.

Dani, who is 16 and was on her way to visit, came just in time to sift through the rubble and find Danny, who has only had enough memory to recognize her as his sister. She also finds three dead bodies. Jack and Maddie survived.

Scared and mourning, she takes Danny and runs to Vlad, who realizes how terrible and obsessed Jack and Maddie were and gives Dani lots of money to hide somewhere where the Jack and Maddie wouldn’t dare to look- at least not for a little while.

Gotham.

So she takes Danny and changes their names.

Elliot ‘Elle’ Jasmine Nightingale and Daniel James Nightingale, brothers and sister duo.

Dani- now Elle- still holds a grudge on Vlad, coupled with the Fenton stubbornness, she insists that she can pay rent/bills/groceries/etc. she gets an apartment in crime alley.

Because Elle doesn’t want to leave a paper trail, she does a less-than-legal job.

She joins a fight rink under the name of Phantasm.

And she’s great at it.

Shes spend the money on education for Danny, ignoring her education for the moment until Danny is old enough to join school.

Damian and Bruce were having major arguments, mostly about his violence and Damian quits being Robin and becomes Nocturne. (Bc I love that name)

He undercover a fight rink and thinks if he busts the rink Bruce will trust him enough.

He does recon and quickly realizes that one of the fighters was incredible, winning fight after fight without causing major injures to her opponents. Her name was Phantasm.

He decides that in order to find out more about her, he has to join undercover. It was only to take down the fight rink and learn more about the beautiful fighter that could bend him in half and nothing more.

Damian joins under the name of Ghoul and swipes some DNA from Elle, learns her (fake) name her (fake) backstory (family died in an heated lab explosion) but doesn’t understand why a chunk of her DNA was unreadable (ghost part of her DNA)

After a bit of digging, realized she didn’t attend school and the next morning Elle waked up to a letter starting that her full-ride scholarship to Gotham Academy has be approved (GA offers a afterschool care for students with younger siblings)

Elle never applied and is confused but accepts after Vlad, Ember, and Kitty convinced her.

She coincidentally is put in the most of the same classes as Damian, who she eventually crushes on befriends because he’s hot she’s suspicious of his faint and funky ecto signature.

So shenanigans include (not in this order and are optional)

- GALA where Vald announces her as Vlad Co heiress and the are invited to the gala and get a bit sus of Elle bc Vlad is sus

- JASON AS ELLE’S NEIGHBOR is actively trying to set up/prevent Damian and Elle getting together (either one works, as long as the plans fail comically)

- PRINCESS ELLE OF YHE INFINITE RELAMS + SUMMONING

- TALIA ATTEMPTING TO KIDNAP DANNY because he looked like Bruce/she wants another son and Elle absolutely beating her 7 different ways to Sunday and Talia telling Damian that she approves of her

- ELLE DESTABILIZING/GETTING REALLY SICK and Danny calls Damian in a panic because he knows Elle trusts him even if she won’t admit it

- ELLE GETS SAVED BY NOCTURNE and Elle instantly clocks him as Damian bc of his ecto signature and rips him a new one because look how vigilantism turned out for Danny

- THE BATFAM THINKING DANNY IS THE CLONE OF ELLE and investigating Cadmus, who could have ties to the GIW somehow

- ELLE BECOMING A SORT OF SERIAL KILLER to protect Danny (check the comments @emerald-fox-93 linked it :)))

- DASH BECOMING A GCPD COP AND HAVING TO ARREST ELLE because she killed someone who tried to kidnap Danny. Damian picks her up from the station after she calls him.

- PAULINA BECAME A LAYWER FOR WE bc I saw a post like that and it was fire. She eventually fights for the removal of the AEA (anti ecto acts)

- THE OTHER BATS GENUINELY BECOMING CONCERNED and began to think that Elle is mind-controlling Damian because he keeps brushing them off to hang out with her

- DAN JOINING THE JLA and calling up Elle when he needs her help and Damian being there and being like ‘wtf??’

Jack and Maddie eventually find Danny and Elle and Elle vanishes. Danny- who Elle hid when the Fentons stormed the apartment- calls Damian sobbing and pleading for him to find Elle because the bad people are going to hurt her.

Damian, knowing little to nothing about her situation, basically goes ballistic trying to find her. The family, titans, and the League gets involved because one 15 year old doesn’t realize he has a massive crush on his classmate. He calls up that every favors he is owed (and some that is not) so now basically almost the entire LOA is after a 15 year old girl who was kidnapped by the two mad scientists who are committing around 16 wars crimes.

They find her after the ghosts she’s Still in contact with realize she hasn’t texted in a while and they’ll help Damian on his manhunt

And because Elle is the high princess, the entire ghost zone is ready to help Damian get their princess/queen/regent back

Jack and Maddie never stood a chance.

Any more ideas?? Please tag me and comment 🙏 :))

[onthegoodsideofthings]

Bruce Wayne x GN! Reader Headcanons.

-Bruce Wayne is…new ish to the dating pool, I mean, it’s not like he has a lack of woman whom would date him, but still, he doesn’t ACTUALLY go out of his way to ask someone out. 

-So when he meets you he knows he’s whipped. All he wants to do is ask you out, introduce you to his kid (Damian) and all the strays he houses (his large amounts of wards.).

-He’s never really been the ‘I’ll show you how much I like you’ when it came to partners he’s had in the past, after all they tend to be short and fleeting, but when he saw you interact with Damian and get the boy’s approval he knew, ‘this’ll last.’

-So his ‘showing how much he likes you’ arch has begun. 

-The flowers he leaves you in the morning every Friday before work because he knows you love them.

-The small notes you find with them (the flowers) on occasion that you love and stick to your fridge, when he finds this out he leaves you a new note every day, he just quickly leaves you a hand written note and slides it in your door so you find it in the morning.

-He will call you after work before he goes on patrol to check on you, make due to remind you to stay safe and ask if you have anything going on this weekend, (he likes to take you on dates on Sunday nights. It’s like his favorite thing ever-)

-When you do meet his strays- sorry his wards, he prays they like you just as much as he does.

-And they do. First to trust you is surprisingly Damian, after all you were his teacher. (That’s how you and Bruce met in the first place.) it was awkward at first but Damian always enjoyed the way you taught and treated others so he was down to make you his Zaza. 

-Jason was next, he figured, hey Damian of all brats likes you so will he. He also likes that you know how to shoot a gun, when he found out you went to gun ranges he knew you were great, that’s how you hang out actually. #beingbestieswithJasonstart.

-Obviously Tim and Dick followed not to long after, Tim enjoyed that you didn’t mind the quiet or feel the need to fill it, he also enjoyed that you loved helping others (especially him, he wants to learn how to cook but Alfred is scary let’s be real so it’s nice to have someone who won’t judge him for not being perfect- not that Alfred would but he would give the vibe unintentionally.)

-And Dick liked that you were super supportive. Helping him rehearse how he wanted to propose to Barbra, (like bro him and Babs are so cute like AAAGHAGAGA) 

-So everyone liked you.

-It was nice being with such a large found family, You loved Bruce and you loved his family.

-And he loves that, he loves you, and he’s happy everyone else loves you too. 

-He knows that one day he’ll ask you to be his forever, his Mx. Wayne, but he’s not in any hurry. (Well he is, but he knows you value his company and love without having to be married, and you haven’t really talked about it-)

-TLDR He loves you and so does his family and that makes everyone happy.

-Welcome to the family!!

[whipbogard]

Two-Face @ Batman before knowing who he is

vs

Two-Face @ Batman after knowing his real identity

[catwomanarchive]

every selina kyle/catwoman appearance in comics (8/??) - batman (1940) #35

[shinyspanishgem]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Justice League & Bruce Wayne, Batman/Superman, Batman & Hawkgirl, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Minor or Background Relationship(s) Characters: Bruce Wayne, Diana (Wonder Woman), Justice League (DCU), Barry Allen, Hawkgirl (DCU), Calvin Swanwick | Martian Manhunter, Hal Jordan (Green Lantern), Alfred Pennyworth Additional Tags: Bruce Wayne is So Done, Wings, Misunderstandings, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, wing phase, batman has wings, Getting to Know Each Other, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Justice League Doesn't Know Bruce Wayne is Batman, Alfred Pennyworth is a Saint, pre-identity reveal, Worried Clark Kent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, In a way, Pining Summary:

Batman had made many mistakes during his early years, some bigger than others, but he learned his lessons along the way. One of those mistakes had been adding artificial wings to his suit, which only lasted for two weeks before he retired them, Bruce decided gliding was more than enough for him.

But then, he lets it slip he knows what flying is like, and the Justice League notices, and sleep-deprived bat responds less than eloquently.

Or

The Justice League believes somebody clipped Batman's very-real-biological wings, some are out for blood.

[theglidingbat]

Why did he zoom in on bruce shirtless like that-

[ghosttownheart]

Fuck me, choke me, eat me out-

[junespriince]

Hacking your way into my heart au

Dick, not on webcam: Wally, would you do anything for me?

Wally, always on webcam: of course, I'd do anything for ya Rob!

Dick: good, I need you to hack into Bruce Wayne's website and mess it up, I want that website to crash and you know what, add to every computer in his office as the autism creatures in it, go ham.

Wally: okay, but what's with the weird beef with Mr. Wayne? I know why uncle Ollie has beef with him, but why do you have beef with him...

Dick, hasn't told Wally his identity yet: well, it's complicated, I'll tell you it all later, just, can you do that for me please?

Wally: I already said yes.

The next day

Bruce: okay, okay! You can go see him, ugh having kids is so much harder than it looked like on TV.

Dick: Thanks dad your the best!! I'll reverse it on the airplane! *Grabs his stuff and texting Wally they're finally gonna meet in person*

[ijustthinkhesneat]

You know that one snl skit where they give there son the talk and he comes out as bisexual?

That would be Martha and Thomas Wayne if they didn’t get iced in that alley.

[myreygn]

what it feels like to be 20 years late

[batcavescolony]

Let me summarize Batman's monologue in Batman: Hush (in what I've read so far)

Batman: I need to figure this out

Batman: I kissed Catwoman

Batman: someone is out to get me

Batman: I kissed her

Batman: Tommy Elliot

Batman: I kissed Catwoman.