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#incorrect flash quote
tiger-grace · 10 days
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Flash: what the hell happened with no metas in gotham?
Batman: Signal is a special case, I trust him solely as one of gotham’s vigilantes-
Flash: What? No. I’m talking about the blue one. I saw him lift like, 1000 pounds the other day.
Batman: … it was that or therapy
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percythejedi · 1 month
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never made one of these before but it seemed fun ^_^
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ahfrickenfrick · 4 months
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jason: i physically cannot believe you’re the oldest
dick: wtf why not
jason: i literally heard you ask alfred if you can have wally over for a playdate, you’re 27 years old!! wally is 28 for gods sake, you have your own place!!
dick: …you are NEVER too old for a playdate with your homie
jason: YOU’VE BEEN DATING FOR SEVEN YEARS!!
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d3jha · 4 months
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I feel like the bats have walked off Life threatening injuries like
Clark: batman ermm... he got a hole there
Bruce: And? *beating The belief he is God into an alien.*
Wally: NIGHTWING!
Dick:what
Wally WHAT? YOU JUST GOT SHOT
ROY: Did I just here your bones crack!?!
Jason:oh yah just my ribs
Roy:Jason why do I see a gunshot wound near where your rids are Broken
Kon:...
Tim:what?
Kon:how the fuck are you alive.
Tim: <who just fell of a cliff> Spite and pettiness
Jon:Damian... there is a knife in your back
Damian: it's not important
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Gotham city wide blackout
They have to figure out what to do with the fridge
Alfred: Before all this spoils. Somebody had to eat it.
Dick: that’s a a lot of food A.
Wally: I can do it. I was born for this job.
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batfamgalore · 7 months
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*The Justice League reaches out to Nightwing and tells him they need help on a case. Dick asks Bruce why they asked him*
Bruce: I might have mentioned to the Justice League, accidentally, that you… might be able to help.
Dick: Whoah. Time out. Flag on the play. Did you vouch for me?
Bruce: No. I wouldn’t say exactly I vouched for you.
Dick: Wally, Bruce vouched for me.
Bruce: I did not vouch for you.
Dick: You were bragging on me. You have a dad crush on me.
Bruce: Dick, I was not bragging on you. I was merely stating facts about your track record that are in the newspaper.
Dick: Let’s hug it out.
Bruce: Put your arms down.
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gardentool · 2 months
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[Another Itadori training session]
Nanami: You couldn’t use Black Flash fast enough. You just killed Y/N.
Y/N: Honey…
Nanami: I can’t hear you, Y/N. You’re dead.
Nanami, to Yuji: They bled out in your lap. How will you break the news to me? Let's see.
Yuji: We don't have to do this.
Nanami: Ah, Itadori, how are things going with Y/N, the love of my life? Wait, why are you here at this late hour? And whose blood is that?
Yuji: Okay, I get it.
Nanami: It's Y/N’s? This is devastating. I'm inconsolable. And…
[Nanami snaps his fingers]
Nanami: I’ve killed myself.
Yuji: Cool. I can see this is gonna be fun…
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incorrectbatfam · 3 months
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[Dick and Wally's wedding]
Jason, officiating: Dearly bruhloved, we are swaggered here today to join these two bros in holy matrihomie.
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celaenaeiln · 1 year
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Damian: These colors for Robin are terrible. I simply refuse to believe father chose red, yellow, and green to hide in the night. The tactical planning behind this suit is abhorrent. Who in the world picked it?
Tim: *not even glancing up* Dick.
Damian: These are exemplary colors, truly no one could have chosen better. Red to represent passion, yellow for happiness, and green for new beginnings- as expected of Grayson, only he could come up with such a brilliant and thoughtful design. Not to mention, it’s a test in blending into your surroundings despite your attire which is extremely useful in the field for other missions. Marvelous planning and insight.
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wondersinwaynemanor · 5 months
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let's pretend that this is the right timeline because what if Dick becomes Batman at the same time when Wally becomes The Flash?
let's also say that this is just like the Justice League animated series wherein the League members don't know each member's identities (except of course Bruce, he knows everybody).
how funny would it be if Dick and Wally are together and the rest of the League are confused because all of a sudden Batman and Flash are close like super close? i mean they have witnessed how Flash gets intimidated by Batman. now, that's not the case anymore.
during a meeting:
Hal, leaning to John during a League meeting, whispers: I'm not losing my mind, right?
John, whispers back: I think I know what you mean.
Hal: Why is Flash making heart eyes to Bats????
John: I know??? Flash doesn't even look him in the eyes before.
Hal: That's so odd, dude.
Batman glances at the two Green Lanterns which makes them shut up.
meanwhile, across the table, Martian Manhunter has a light smile on his lips and Superman covers his laugh with a cough.
-
at the cafeteria:
Ollie: Hey, Dinah. Have you noticed something unusual between Batman and Flash lately?
Dinah: It is quite unusual, huh? I was talking to Hawkgirl the other day and she said she saw Flash bridal carry Bats.
Ollie: What the actual fu-
Flash, approaches the couple's table with a big bowl of nachos on his hand: Hey, guys! Mind if I sit with you?
Ollie and Dinah give a knowing look at each other. a conversation they definitely will finish later.
-
during in an another planet mission:
Batman, after announcing everyone's partners for the mission:... And lastly, I will pair up with Flash in today's mission.
Flash grins widely, that has Arthur thinking his cheeks might be hurting after that.
Arthur: Yeah, yeah. At this point, we already know, Bats!
the Green Lanterns, along with Captain Marvel and Booster Gold, snicker at his comment.
Batman ignores Arthur's comment and the rest of the members scatter to their assigned locations.
Victor, who was paired with Arthur: Was gonna give that comment too.
Arthur: It's like they are inseparable all of a sudden.
Victor, shakes his head: Well, I have seen weirder things.
-
in the meeting hall:
Wonder Woman, pulls Batman in the corner of the room: Okay, that's enough. You are truly ignoring me. What is going on with you lately?
Batman: Did the rest of the League put you up to this?
Wonder Woman, has her hands on her hips: They didn't need to. So, tell me. And don't you ever lie to me, I can see right through you, Batman.
Batman, sighs: It's hard for me to explain. I can't-I can't tell you right now.
Wonder Woman: Hera! Now, Bru-Batman.
before Batman responses, the door of the meeting hall opens and in comes Robin with his katana. the conversations between the League members come to a stop as they stare at the young hero.
Robin, glances at everyone, before approaching Flash: I need help with an important matter.
Flash, smiles and ruffles Robin's hair, as if that's second nature: Of course, little dude.
Hal, stands up from his seat: THAT'S IT! Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on????
Ollie, stands up with him: Are we in another dimension that I don't know about?????
Dinah pulls Ollie down by his arm to make him sit again.
the rest of the League members start to converse against each other.
Superman, floats a bit from his seat: Why don't we all settle down? There's nothing to be alarmed about.
Robin, shakes his head: Tt. Absolute fools.
by the time Bruce and Barry are back:
-
Bruce, pinches the bridge of his nose: Chum, you could at least be discreet with Wally.
Dick: It's not my fault, B! I swear I was going to explain to Aunt Diana then Dami entered the room.
Damian: Tt. Don't blame me, Grayson. Why don't you lecture West on how to be more responsible? He left me on read when I asked help for my Science project.
Dick, sighs: And what about Timmy? He could have helped.
Damian: I don't want anything to do with Drake.
Bruce massages his temples as he feels a headache coming up.
-
Barry: Wally!!!!
Wally, zooms right in front of Barry: I couldn't help it, okay?? Dick is just irresistible.
Iris giggles as she prepares the table for dinner.
Barry, sighs: That's alright. I'll talk to Bats on how we can explain it to the team.
Wally, grins and sits down by the table: It was hard not to laugh at them. They were so confused.
Barry, chuckles: I'm sure Hal's expression was the funniest.
Wally, laughs: You have no idea, Uncle Barry.
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tiger-grace · 2 months
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Bruce Wayne, being the worlds greatest detective, psychoanalyzing every teammate/hero around him in the JL yet somehow is incapable of doing such to himself
Flash: I feel like I can never open up to the team
Batman: Maybe it’s your problems with emotional intimacy because you maintain a purely comedic relationship with your closest friends and never speak about your serious grievances.
Alfred: sir do you ever think crimefighting directly after the death of Jason may lead you to be more aggressive
Bruce: no why would you say that (slamming fists into low level criminals face)
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superbat-love · 7 months
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Barry: Hey Clark, we heard about your recent breakup. Really sorry to hear that, man.
Clark: [gloomily] Yeah...
Bruce: [stares out the window]
Arthur: You will meet someone better suited for you one day—your destined soulmate.
Clark: I hope so.
Bruce:
Hal: I mean, who wouldn't go for you? You're strong, smart and handsome!
Clark: Thanks Hal.
Barry: Yeah! I’m sure you'll meet someone who's just as kind and attentive and knows how to cheer you up whenever you're feeling down.
Clark: Mn.
Hal: Hey, there's this new bar that just opened up in downtown Metropolis! We should go and check it out this weekend! Whaddya say?
Arthur, Hal and Barry stare expectantly at Bruce.
Bruce: [slowly turns to look at Clark] I like the look of your bleeding heart.
Arthur, Hal & Barry: ???
Clark: [visibly cheers up] Thanks Bruce! You know, it took a few attempts to grow those flowers in outer space, but I finally got it right! They look slightly different from those cultivated on Earth, but I find them unique. I'm glad you like them too!
Arthur, Hal & Barry: It worked?!
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burning-quesadilla · 2 years
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Wally: I need life advice.  Dick, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.
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cod-dump · 7 months
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Alex: You can’t get married, the Bible said Adam and Eve not Simon and Johnny. Come back after you legally change your names
Ghost:
Ghost: Do you realize how close I was to stabbing you?
Alex: Honestly thought you were going to before I even finished the joke. I am pleasantly surprised
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Damian: Like I said, we need more help. Maybe I should call my friends
Jason: Your what?
Damian: My friends
Jason: Is he saying ‘friends’?
Dick: I think he’s being sarcastic
Y/N: No, no, no. This is delirium. He's cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Dami, all of your friends are in this room
Damian: I have other friends. You asked me to make new friends. I made new friends. It was a task. I complete tasks
Dick: That’s so great! I can’t wait to meet them!
Y/N: *happy crying* Dami, you listened to me. I’m so proud of you
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batfamgalore · 1 year
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Oliver: I knew you two couldn’t stay mad at each other.
Dick: Oh yeah. We’re closer than ever.
*Dick and Roy hold up their hands and they are both handcuffed together*
Bruce: You wanna tell me how this happened?
Roy: Well, Wally thought-
Bruce: Oh man, I wish that boy would stop doing that.
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