#tim drake x bernard

[totallynotashieldagent]

Kaleidoscope

Masterlist

You stood on the roof with Commissioner Gordon. You held the files to your chest and were a mess of nerves. You could feel the tension brewing inside your bones but Jim stood casually, dragging puff after puff from his never-ending cigarette. 

"Commissioner-" A deep voice startled you and you yelped, hiding behind Gordon 

"Calm down, will you?" Jim chastised Batman, "She's still new-"

"The reports," Your shaky hand extended towards the sword-wielding Robin 

He snatched it from your hands, and you shrank back behind Jim. He flipped through the pages and made a sound. 

"This one isn't incompetent, Gordon," Robin commented, "Decent job, Doctor," He looked at you

"T-Thank you-" You swallowed 

"Red Robin would like some details on this case-" Batman handed you a USB

"Yes, sir-" You said shakily 

"Go back down, kid-" Jim told you and you didn't need to be told twice 

It didn't matter that you'd met the Batman before. He still scared the crap out of you.  "Nice to meet you," You nodded and quickly left 

"Are you crazy?" Jim stared at Bruce, "She's been in this city for five months- You can't have her running intel!" 

"She's competent," Robin added as he went through the file, "She'll run intel because she's qualified," 

"Just-" Jim's voice dropped as he stared at Batman, "Don't let her get hurt, okay?" 

"I never intend to," He answered in a low, gravelly voice

[shyjusticewarrior]

Bernard: Is Red Hood a vampire?

Tim: No.

Bernard: A zombie?

Tim: Getting warmer.

[gothamitee]

Nothing keeps this boy off of the job...

[alyakthedorklord]

Au where the Drake’s don’t die (they’re just bad parents) and as Tim gets older they start spending a SLIGHT bit more time with him to train him to take over Drake industries. They start trying to set up a marriage to a daughter of a good family for Tim, but he’s dating Bernard, who is not only a man but from a “subpar family.” They demand he break it off.

Tim refuses to break up with his boyfriend, threatens causing a huge scandal and making out with Bernard in public if they engage him to anyone.

Jack and Janet threaten to disown him, bc they think Tim’s been living the soft cushy house (manor) life hidden away from the world on thier money this whole time, so they’re all, “You’ll come crawling back, you need us and our money, this will teach you a lesson.”

Tim, who has been practically independent since he was four, has extensive robin training, access to zetatubes, powerful friends (and enemies) in every major city across the world, at least eight fully stocked safehouses in Upper Gotham alone, a personal bank account under his own name with combined Drake and Wayne allowance, at this point is only in Drake manor when his parents are here (a week with an important gala every four months maybe) and has LITERALLY had a discussion with Bruce about a custody battle due to negligence so he can call himself a Wayne on paper not even a week before, just laughs.

“This is Gotham. I’ll get Bruce Wayne to adopt me.”

That makes them mad. His parents show him the disowning paperwork and kick him out. Tim doesn’t even run to Wayne Manor, he meanders over while tapping at his phone.

Bruce already had the paperwork ready. The Drakes don’t know what’s happening before it’s too late. Tim is a Wayne. They try to challenge it but they relinquished all rights and Tim has receipts of parental neglect and also he already has a room at the manor.

Tim takes over as Wayne Industries CEO (the sooner the funnier) and immediately starts being awesome at it, smug ass grin in every photo, the other Waynes cackling in the background as the Drakes seethe and thier stocks plummet. The next gala they go to, Bruce makes absolutely sure to turn to Tim and go, “So son, when is your boyfriend coming over for dinner?”

Bernard comes back from a family camping trip to find out his boyfriend started an upper crust civil war for the right to date him. And also he’s invited to Wayne Manor. Wtf Tim.

[arcticlutra]

Bernard: Hmm...

Jason: What?

Bernard: You look an awful lot like Bruce Wayne's dead son Jason Todd.

Jason: -blue screen-

Bernard: I mean add a few years and pounds.

Jason: Wait. What?!

Bernard: Hmm. -prods Jason- I suppose Wayne Enterprises would have the tech. It would explain a lot...

Jason: I...I have no idea what's going on right now.

Bernard: -dialling Tim- Hey Babe.

-indistinct phone noises-

Jason: Who even are...

-Bernard puts a finger to Jason's lips-

Bernard: Shh, I'm checking something. No sorry Babe, I was shushing the clone.

-loud, angry phone noises, and confused Jason noises-

Bernard: Tim, of course I'm not talking to a Robin, it's daytime. I'm talking to the clone of your adopted brother Jason Todd who I bumped into at the Farmer's Market.

-very angry phone noises-

Bernard: -sighing- Tim I love you, but we all know that Bruce Wayne dated the Batman, which is where the Batman clearly stole the Robin Cloning Tech from...

-angrier phone noises-

Bernard: Look Tim, don't get angry at me that your adopted father's ex doesn't understand boundaries. Anyway, I have to go as your Brother's clone is malfunctioning and a hot red head with a kid is trying to drag him away from my citizen's arrest. Love you!

[usagi-t-suki]

*tim's not out to his siblings yet*

batkids: *comes to the manor* what the...?

alfred:

(art by meruz)

batkids: hey alfie... what you got there?

alfred: oh hello, master/miss. i’m just ironing master timothy’s new bedroom decor that he bought

batkids: tim’s what that he what?

[incorrectbatfam]

Something happens and now the batkids'partner needs to babysit Damian Wayne - idk maybe Ras is in town, or the babybat is injured, whatever the motive - how Wally, Roy and Kon/Bernard take care of the situation? (This can be made separately or all of them together, this will be your choice)

(I said Kon or Bernard because this can be your choice too, but also both if you want, Tim Drake has two hands anyway)

Also I love your blog 💖💖💖💖💖

Roy: Soup's up! Where's Damian?

Wally: Um... about that.

Roy: What's it this time, assassins?

Wally: Not exactly. Long story short, he wanted to see dinosaurs so I took him to the Jurassic period but I sorta dropped him on our way back.

Roy: You WHAT?!?

Kon: Hey guys, what's going on?

Roy: Wally lost Damian in the timestream.

Bernard: That's a new one.

Kon: Do you remember where you dropped him?

Wally: Somewhere between the Cretaceous Period and Mesopotamia.

Izzy: You do realize that's a long time, right?

Roy: Who are you and when did you get here?

Izzy: Isabela Ortiz. I've been here the past ten minutes.

Everyone: ...

Izzy: I'm Duke's girlfriend, and unlike most of you I'm canon.

Roy: Whatever, can you help us?

Izzy: Nope, I just left my charger. See ya!

Kon: We're dead.

Bernard, sighing: I'll get the kiddie pool and Lazarus hose.

[meanwhile]

Damian, petting a wooly mammoth: I shall name you Father for your size. Except you're not as hairy.

[fandom-lover-extra]

DP X DC Prompt: Conspiracy Cryptids - Soultouch

Soulmate bonds were looked upon as a blessing. For they were rare and few and far between.

With the added presence of extraterrestrial lifeforms, there was a guarantee that it made it even more difficult to find any potential Soulmate that someone might have. 

And of course, not all Soulmate bonds were the same, most differing in variety. The point being, it was very difficult to find one's soulmate if one did have them. 

However, the media stated that it was always worth the effort. Soulmate bonds always worked out, either that be platonically or romantically, soulmates would be with each other for life.

So, what exactly did one do if their soulmate kept dying over and over again?

Tim, Bernard, Danny, and Wes all shared a soulmate bond. A touch-bond based Soulbond. They could feel anything their soulmate physically came into contact with. Skin on skin. And they could also feel any injuries their soulmate acquired.

Which, wasn't inherently an issue.

At first, the group couldn't actually tell how many soulmates they had once they realized what the soulbond was. The general consensus amongst them all was that they at least had more than one soulmate.

Danny didn't look to deeply into it. Wes and Bernard had been curious but had also left the detail alone. And Tim was the one that had been the one that had actually spent hours upon hours of sleepless nights trying to figure out just how many he had.

(He had even learned morse code in the hopes of communicating with his soulmates, but not being able to actually get his soulmates to do the same thing had more or less ruined the point.)

Everything, other than that, had been fine for the most part. Besides the general occasional scraps and bruises, everything had been fine. That was a normal occurrence amongst a touch-bond based Soulbond.

And then, Tim Drake became Robin at thirteen years old. And the injuries got a bit more severe. They were much more serious. 

This started Bernard down the path of looking into Gotham's vigilante's. It was no secret that Batman took on Young prodigies, that other heroes at times would do the same. With the injuries his soulmate was receiving, Bernard began his search.

Danny and Wes had considered that their soulmate might be apart of an abusive household. But besides hugging themselves, they couldn't add much for comfort.

And then, Danny died when he was fourteen. His end of the bond going quiet. Tim, Bernard, and Wes all assumed one of their soulmates had died. That was until Danny's end of the bond came back as if nothing had happened. Sometimes with even more bruises they didn't feel happen originally, or completely unharmed.

Tim and Bernard assumed their soulmate was in the hospital, going in-between life and death. Tim doing more than a few illegal things in an attempt to find one of his soulmates. Wes had thought the same until he had saw Phantom bleed once. Noticed how Phantom always appeared when that end of the bond went quiet and was nowhere to be seen when it came back. He drove himself insane looking for Phantom.

Danny decidedly, did not in fact know of the frenzy he was putting his soulmates through. Or the fact that he was apart of making his soulmates as insane as they are about their conspiracy theories.

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

Someone: Cute boyfriend

Bernard pointing to Tim's third stab wound of the week: Thanks, he has pockets

[preyofolympus]

Bernard: I always saw him as like a kind of funny little man.

Tim, trying to contain himself but Bernard loving the Red Hood is pushing his limits: he’s a fucking criminal Bernard.

[nicomoon69]

that awkward moment when ur conspiracy bf doesn’t support your conspiracies >_<“

[queenofthequillandink]

Tim and Steph are both The Nightmare Ex™ to me. The sniping-match-to-shouting-match-in-30-seconds-or-less kind. And then they just like. Get over it and go back to being best friends.

But the best part of this is trying to explain their relationship to people who only got there after they got back to being best friends.

Tim: Oh, and this is my best friend Steph. She's my ex, but she's dating Cass now. Steph, in her PJs eating orange juice concentrate out of a can with a spoon and 3pm on a Tuesday on Tim's couch while she plays Mario Kart by herself: Sup. Bernard: Oh. Uh, hi? Amicable breakup then? Steph: Lmao, no, I cut his brake lines. Tim: I erased her social security number. Steph: Oh I poisoned his food that one time. Tim: I told the press she was carrying Bruce's secret lovechild. Bernard: babe, wtf? Tim: in my defense they were both dead at the time, I wasn't doing well. Steph: Yeah, I was dead, and STILL doing better in the breakup.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Jason: Has Bernard always looked at you like that, and if so how did you think he was straight?

Tim, to Steph: Stop telling Jason things.

Steph, ignoring Tim: I took Tim's gaydar cause he's not worthy.

[connorsbonez]

Stalkers and Cryptids

Incorrect Quotes #3

Tim: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.

Danny:

Bernard:

Wes:

Everyone Else At Tim’s Surprise Birthday Party:

Danny: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

0000000000

Tim: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Danny: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Bernard: A realist sees a freight train.

Wes: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

000000000

Danny: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Bernard: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Danny: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

Bernard: But I heard a siren.

Wes: That was Tim.

Tim: Sorry, I got nervous.

0000000000

Bernard: What if people had food names and food had people names?

Danny: Hey, spaghetti, we're having Wes for dinner.

Wes: What is wrong with you people?

Tim: Shut up, chocolate.

0000000

Wes, banging on the door: Tim! Open up!

Tim: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

Bernard: No, they meant-

Danny: Let them finish.

000000000

Tim: What's it like being tall?

Danny: Is it nice?

Bernard: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Wes: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

000000000

Wes: Christmas is cancelled.

Tim: You can't cancel a holiday.

Wes: Keep it up, Tim, and you'll lose New Year's too.

Tim: What does that mean?

Wes: Danny, take New Year's away from Tim.

000000

Bernard: Why is Danny crying on the floor?

Wes: They took one of those 'which Amity Park ghost are you?' quizzes.

Bernard: And?

Wes: He got Plasimus.

0000000

Danny: Wes isn't answering his phone

Bernard: I'll call

Danny: Tim and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Wes: Hello?

000000

Wes: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

Danny: Put spaghetti in it.

Wes: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.

Tim: Put spaghetti in it.

Wes: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.

Bernard: Put spaghetti in it.

Wes: I am no longer taking suggestions.

[batfamgalore]

Tim: Okay, let’s get to the table before Jason gets here. Bruce loves an early bird.

Bernard: Hey, Tim, before we go in, I know I said I was gonna do the whole hypeman thing, but-

Tim: I know. I shouldn’t compare myself to my brother. We’re all on our own journey.

Bernard: What? No. Who told you that garbage? I was gonna say we need a backup plan so you can win this thing.

Tim: Aw, thanks for not trying to make me a better person.

[arcticlutra]

Bernard: Do you know what's weird?

Tim (sighing): No Bern, what's weird?

Bernard: Well, it's just that...a quadruple somersault is nigh on impossible to do right?

Tim: Ahuh, yeah the physics are insane.

Bernard: Right?! But there are only two people who can do it: your brother and Nightwing!

Tim (panicking): so what are you saying?

Bernard: Isn't it obvious?! Batman stole your brother's DNA to clone him, and set up a station in his government sponsored hideout to have a constant supply of acrobatic Robins!

Tim: Bern...that's a pretty extreme hypothesis.

Bernard (contemplating): You're right, the power drain and resource consumption alone would be conspicuous. Therefore, the only obvious explanation is that...Tim...your brother must be the first Robin! Likely Nightwing!

Tim (scribling on his tablet): Hey look at this...somehow I'm aware that the electricity costs for cloning tubes are surprisingly affordable. Batman must be cloning kids...

Bernard: I knew it!