#incorrect quotes

[charlesoberonn]

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Soap: Aww he's so cute! Y/N: Thanks, he's a rescue Ghost: Stop calling me that

[pandapool]

*at Wolverine's grave* Deadpool: hi everyone and welcome to another unboxing video

[incorrectbatfam]

[texting]

Tim: Hey are you home?

Dick:

Tim: Are you home?

Dick:

Tim: Hello?

Dick:

Tim: I'm locked outside, can you open the door?

Dick:

Tim: ANSWER ME.

Dick: Yeah I'm home, what's up?

Tim: Where have you been?!

Dick: My fault, I was in the shower.

Tim: It's been THREE HOURS.

[mackerel22]

Dazai: *on the phone* Hey, Chuuya~

Dazai: Do you know my blood type?

Chuuya: Of course, its AB.

Dazai: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-

[loveanddeepthroat]

Sylus: *kissing the top of her head* I’m heading out. I love you.

MC: *with a mouthful of toast* M’kay.

Sylus: …

Sylus: I love you.

MC: I heard ya. *takes another bite*

Sylus: *takes the toast out of her hand and walks away*

MC: Mmph!

Sylus: Now we can both spend the day empty and unhappy.

MC: *hurrying after him* I was kidding! I love you! Sylus!

[ducktu]

Duke: WOW, how can you even say that about my people-

Jason: Hold on, being black doesn't have anything to do with it-

Duke: BLACK? MY PEOPLE ARE BAT VIGILANTES, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?, CAN YOU ONLY SEE RACE?

Jason: *screams*

[cod-dump]

Ghost: Cap, what was Rome like?

Price, having gotten back from a mission in Rome: Well-

Soap: You were in Rome? DID YOU STAB CEASAR!?

Price: Did I WHAT!?

Gaz: HE FUCKING STABBED CEASAR

Soap: OH MY GOD

Price: What- What is this??

Ghost: Oooh. You're old, that's what this is

Price: I'M NOT THAT BLOODY OLD YOU CUNTS-

[theocddiaries]

Clark: Gosh, I had the opportunity of a lifetime and I wasted it. I'm such an idiot… Bruce: Oh, honey. You're not. Hey, what do you need? Anything, you name it. Dick: You could turn on the air conditioner. Bruce: I wasn't asking you. And I haven't gotten it fixed yet. Dick: You kidding? What does this family have against comfort? Bruce: The day has 24 hours, and I have 5 kids, the assholes in disguise who go out every fucking night to wreck this goddamned city, and now Clark's life crisis to add, okay? Do the math. Jason: He can't. He failed math. Bruce: You what? You failed math? Dick: You are dead. Jason: And you are dumb. He has to make it up in summer. Bruce: Summer? We're supposed to go to the lake next month! You just messed up the whole summer, Dick! Tim: I got all A's! Bruce: [soft]. Oh, baby, that's great. But I'm yelling at Dick right now. [Yells]. What the fuck is wrong with you?! How could you fail math? Dick: Because of the absences. Bruce: Absences? What absences!? I drop you off every morning! Dick: Yeah, you drop me off at the door. It’s another thing that I actually cross through the door. Bruce: Oh, you want to be a smartass? That's it. You're grounded without Nightwing, without Barbara, without acrobatics, and without anything you like. Want to make me miserable? Let's be miserable together! Dick: That's not fair! Bruce: Like hell is not! You're gonna have your nose in a book this whole summer, if I have to glue it to your goddamn face! You understand me? Am I speaking plain English, or did you flunk that with absences, too? Dick: No, I went to enough classes and I got a D-plus in English! Bruce: Oh, a D-plus! Well, let's have a fucking parade! Clark: Bruce… Bruce: I'm gonna hire a whole band for you, darling! [Imitates drums]. ♪ Three cheers for my D-minus son! ♪ Dick: D-plus! Damian: I'm sure your crisis seems insignificant now, right? Clark: Yes, that's why I moved here in the first place. Jason: So did I.

[caitlynskitten]

WELCOME BACK WENCLAIR

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Y/N: Slender, there’s something we need to tell you. Toby and I are dating.

Slender: I’ve known for the last few years, you two are inseparable.

Toby: Years? We’ve only been dating for a few months!

Slender: Then what the hell were you doing before that?!

[redvexillum]

Y/N: You haven't seen me really, really, angry! You have no idea what I'm capable of!

Alastor: My dear, I hope you don't take offence to this-

Y/N: I'm immediately offended-

Alastor: But, I honestly feel like I'm being threatened by a beignet!

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Y/N, calling Ghost: LT do you know my blood type? Ghost: Of course, it's A positive Y/N: Oh I guessed wrong, excuse me Nurse- Ghost: YOU DID WHAT-

[achromatophoric]

Enid: I’ll have the French Dip, please.

Server: One French Dip. And you, ma’am?

Wednesday: I’ll have a sandwich.

Server: Which?

Wednesday: No, I am an Addams.

Server: I mean which one?

Wednesday: Wednesday.

Server:

Server: It’s… Monday?

Wednesday: How observant of you.

Server: 😟

Server: Uh— I meant which sandwich, ma’am?

Wednesday: A witch sandwich? Intriguing. I accept.

Server: 😧

Enid: *cuts in* She’ll have the spicy veggie wrap!

Wednesday: That will suffice.

Enid: *whispers to server* Sorry about her. She doesn’t eat out very often. You’re doing great.

The server replies with an appreciative smile and turns to leave, only to remember the day’s dessert special. She hesitantly looks back to the seer.

Server: Ah— pardon me, but I forgot to ask. Could I perhaps interest you in a sweet date—

Enid: BITCH BACK OFF SHE MINE!!!

Wednesday: *under Enid* Mmph mmphmphd. (Translation: Not interested.)

Server: 😭

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: *gets down on one knee*

Barbara: It’s finally happening!

Dick: *ties his shoes*

Barbara, tearing up: He finally stopped wearing fucking Velcro sneakers.

[incorrectjjkquotes]

Shoko, to Gojo: Can you guys be serious for five minutes? Geto: Our record is three.