Tumgik
#Source: New Girl
Text
Feyre: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. 
Cassian: Mine just says "Cass, no." 
Feyre: I want you to apply it to every possible situation
47 notes · View notes
incorrectbatfam · 3 months
Text
Bruce: DON'T BE SORRY! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT AN ANGEL! YOU TRIED TO HELP US WHICH IS A SWEET MOVE!
Tim: You’re yelling nice things at me again and it’s very confusing!
2K notes · View notes
moondustinfj · 3 months
Text
Sirius *looking into the bathroom mirror* : Hey Moony...I know it's unexpected that I'm here. But I wanted to tell you something...You're my boo...You're my boo and I'm- and I'm...I've been missing you...I've been missing you oh so long-
James *appearing behind Sirius* : You know what's weird?
Sirius: *high pitched scream*
James: I don't find this weird anymore
Sirius: What's your problem James?? How much of that did you hear?? How long have you been standing there??
James:
Sirius:
Sirius: I'm in love man...I'm in love with Remu-
James: EVERYONE KNOWS THAT EXCEPT YOU DUMBASS
2K notes · View notes
incorrectquotesmcu · 3 months
Text
Natasha: I'm so sorry we put you in the middle of this Carol. But I'm also glad you were here.
Carol: It was one of the most frustrating days of my entire life. I'm exhausted. I feel like a single mom in a mop commercial.
Rhodes: Welcome to the Avengers compound.
Tony: [pops champagne]
363 notes · View notes
incorrect-dnd-classes · 6 months
Text
Paladin: Warlock is a good person, if you ignore all the things they do on purpose and concentrate on all of the things they do by accident.
454 notes · View notes
hunterbunter3000 · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Price, sighing: Bad news, Team. We're stranded.
Sweetheart: WHAT!?! NOOOOO WE CANT STAY HERE WE NEED TO LEAVE
Alex: Sweetheart--
Sweetheart, franticly pacing: The WEREWOLVES come out at night, man.
Sweetheart: I DONT WANT NO BODY TO EAT ME
Sweetheart: I GOT THICK THIGHS
Sweetheart, pointing: I GOT A FAT ASS AND TITS MAN
Gaz, worried: Relax!
Sweetheart, flailing her arms: WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT AND NO ONES GONNA FIND OUR BODIES
Price: Come 'ere.
Sweetheart: WHAT
Price, pulling her in for a hug: You're having a nervous breakdown.
Sweetheart, whining and crying immediately:
1K notes · View notes
fireflaked · 22 days
Text
jesper: we're worried about you, kaz
kaz: you're worried about me?
wylan: we're worried you're not going to make it
kaz: make it to what?
inej: just in general, because you don't take care of yourself
204 notes · View notes
ironmandeficiency · 10 months
Text
bilbo, after thorin’s death: i have decided to give up on love and put all of that energy into tomatoes
640 notes · View notes
gardentool · 24 days
Text
Nanami: Satoru said he thinks about you sometimes when he's making love to himself.
Y/N: What?
Gojo: One time.
Y/N: What?!
Gojo: I thought about something hot and your face just appeared. Okay, by the way, like I'm the only one. Suguru told me it happened to him, like, like, a bunch of times.
Geto: Nanami, you told me the first week you got back to Jujutsu High, you had a sex dream about Y/N, and they had raccoon hands.
Nanami: Dreams do not count.
Y/N: You've all thought about me while self-completing?!
189 notes · View notes
Text
Edwina: One day, you could be a mother.
Kate: One day? I am a mother.
Edwina: IT’S A DOG, KATE!
Kate: HE’S MY BLOOD!!!
299 notes · View notes
mamaspidershit · 7 days
Text
Natasha: DON'T BE SORRY! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT AN ANGEL! YOU TRIED TO HELP US WHICH IS A SWEET MOVE! Peter: You’re yelling nice things at me again and it’s very confusing!
127 notes · View notes
incorrectbatfam · 5 months
Text
Tim: We are going to Best Buy for Black Friday.
Duke: Or as I like to call it, Friday.
806 notes · View notes
moondustinfj · 3 months
Text
*Regulus fake dating Barty to make James jealous*
Barty *in a fake accent* : Regulus, love, you'll have to introduce me
Barty: *wraps his arms around Regulus' neck*
Regulus: Of course. This is James
James *looking between them* : Hi
Barty * taking James' hand* : Sorry, Jim?
James *annoyed*: It's James.
Barty: Jacob? Jacques? Giacomo?
Regulus: James
Barty: Ooooh ok, fancy
James: It was...nice to meet you
Barty: So nice to meet you too Hamish
1K notes · View notes
Text
Jamie: Hey Coach, are you wearing your running bottoms…and your hoodie?
Isaac: Coach are you going for a run?
Ted: *nods*
Trent: Have fun!
Keeley: Oh my god what is wrong with Ted, Trent?
Rebecca: Yeah, what happened, are you guys okay?
Trent: Ted is going for a run. If anything we should be asking what is right with Ted
Sam: He only goes running if he’s upset
Colin: And he’s wearing his sad hoodie
Zoreaux: and by the looks of it, it’s been washed
Dani: which is bone chilling
Trent: He’s fine, everything’s okay
Beard: I JUST PASSED TED ON THE STREET! RUNNING! ON PURPOSE! OH MY GOD
Trent: Maybe I was wrong
Beard: TED! ARE YOU OKAY?! I SEE YOU!! AND I LOVE YOU
Trent: In my defense, no one here emotes in a normal way
Roy: That’s fair
838 notes · View notes
harringroveera · 2 months
Text
Steve, answering the phone: Hello?
Billy: Where the hell are you, Bambi? This place is fancy and I don't know which fork to kill myself with!
139 notes · View notes
incorrectquotesmcu · 2 months
Text
Kate: Without you Sam, we’re just idiots who live together.
Bucky: You make us a family.
Sam: Well, I’m like the cool rebel sibling of course.
Yelena: No, you’re the mom.
Kate and Bucky: Yeah, definitely the mom.
Kate: Look, Sam, if you come back to us, I’ll let you clean my room.
Sam: Deal.
303 notes · View notes