#Source: b99

[incorrect-thunderbolts]

Bob: How are we going to get past them without a gun fight?

Ava: I'll tell you how Yelena would do it - the vents.

Bob: Blast the A/C, they get chilly, they leave to find sweaters.

Ava: ... No. We're going to climb through them.

Bob: Even better, classic use of vents.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Damian: We need your help.

Rose: Great, who are we killing? I won't do kids, that's a rule. But that rule is negotiable if the kid's a dick.

Jason: No, babe, we don't want you to kill anyone.

Rose: What? Really?

[incorrectteyvatism]

Xilonen: Rules are made to be broken.

Mavuika: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Kinich: Piñatas.

Mualani: Glow sticks.

Chasca: Karate boards.

Iansan: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Ororon: Rules.

[fourdollarwords]

[deviantchicken]

Hank: [does something sketchy while working a case] "procedure" is just a fancy word for proper order to do things Connor: yes, that is its definition

[holy-incorrectquotes-batman]

Damian: I’ve only said “I love you” to three people; Mother, Father, and Richard. And one of those I regret. Jon: Which one? Damian: Richard. He didn’t die, so now I look like an idiot.

[somecluelessidiot]

Remus: Keep an eye on James today. He's going to say something stupid to Regulus and get punched.

Sirius: Sure, I'd love to see James get punched.

Remus: Try again.

Sirius: I... will stop James from getting punched.

Remus: There you go.

[hello-waffles-are-good]

[Young Justice just chilling, writing up cases and such]

Bart, abruptly getting up: omg I've gotta go-

Tim, unbothered: aren't you forgetting something??

Bart: ???

Bart, hesitantly: uh... *Kisses forehead, then speeds away*

Tim, calling after him: No! Sign your REPORT! Damn, who taught you?

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: Barty, can I talk to you for a second? Barty: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and James are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Regulus: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

[incorrectpeterparker]

Peter: I wasn’t injured. I was lightly stabbed

Tony: I’m sorry, you were stabbed?!

Peter: LIGHTLY stabbed. I didn’t want to worry you

[everwalldigan]

Bruce to the JL while Dick is using him as a jungle gym: this is Robin. I’ve only had Robin for 5 days and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room then myself

[incorrect-thunderbolts]

Walker: I was born for corporate politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

[mysterylilycheeta]

Xaden: Why are you wincing? Did you get injured? Violet: I wasn't injured. Xaden: Oh then- Violet: I was just lightly stabbed. Xaden: I'm sorry, YOU WERE STABBED?! Violet: Lightly stabbed, I didn't want to frighten you.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Kaveh: Cyno, please keep an eye on Alhaitham today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get himself slapped.

Cyno: Sure, I'd love to see Alhaitham slapped.

Kaveh: Try again.

Cyno: I will stop Alhaitham from getting slapped.

[bunny7567]

Sometime after the war ended Fox: I’ve only said “I love you” to three people - Ponds, Thorn, and Rex. And one of those I regret. Cody: Which one? Fox: Rex. He didn’t die, so now I look like a di'kut.

[unicornblossom13]

Optimus [easily lifted into the air by just one of Megatron’s hands around his waist]: Do I even weigh anything to you?

Megatron: No, it’s like holding a single grape.