#allen todd

[odinsblog]

Good!

👉🏿 https://abcnews.go.com/amp/US/3-charged-assault-alabama-riverfront-melee-bias-charges/story

[lovelylonelymoonlight]

Bruce unintentionally dissing the league while praising his kids is so funny to me

Bruce: we need an expert marksman for this job

Oliver: *getting ready to stand up to fully accept Bruce’s praise*

Bruce: Redhood will be here shortly. We also need someone quick on their feet. Luckily Cass is working on a case nearby so we can ask her

[batcavescolony]

I never understand people who are like "I love this character but I hate this other one" and the two characters are best friends. Your favorite character loves them, that's THEIR blorbo, their little shit, their sun and stars, and you want to hate them?

[violent138]

More than half the League is betting at any time that they know when it's actually Batman under the mask, or someone else. Unfortunately, they were wrong when:

Dick was doing a phenomenal job of playing Bruce (didn't give himself away even once by smiling), because he fell asleep

Batman stubbed his toe against a table and swore like a sailor which led to cash exchanging hands as several people figured it was Jason, but Bruce had recently switched out of Matches Malone to dress up as Bats and hadn't shaken the Mindset yet

Batman's suit sat weirdly empty at the table and Oliver, annoyed, tried to tell Damian that this was too serious a meeting for Bruce to delegate, but it was Batman, hit with a de-ageing spell and too stubborn to sit out

After sustaining pretty serious injuries, Batman was whiteknuckling the table, in an awful mood, and nobody thought anything of it. Barry offered to help Bruce up (if the pain was keeping him trapped, trying not to insult Batman too much), and Jason tightly replied that if he moved the suit was going to tear.

Clark and Bruce had a bet for how long they could replace Bruce with a mannequin without anyone noticing, and because Clark kept looking over at "Bruce" and giggling (pretty par for the course for them), nobody noticed for five hours.

[incorrectbatfam]

Does the Batmobile ever get ticketed or does the GCPD just ignore it

Bruce: *puts a box on the table*

Bruce: Gather around, everyone. It's time for our monthly ticket review.

Bruce: First up, Steph. Can you explain what happened last Friday?

[earlier]

Steph: *looking for parking in a full lot*

Steph: Screw it, I'm going around back.

Steph: *parks in front of a fire exit*

[present]

Steph: I just needed to use the bathroom.

Bruce: And in those three minutes, the Joker released a giant water balloon forcing everyone to evacuate through one less exit.

Steph: It said "fire exit." That technically wasn't a fire.

Bruce: Well, the penalty is $100 plus the towing cost. I can pay it off but you have to help Alfred in the kitchen for a month.

Steph: Yeah, that's fair.

Bruce: Next up... Cass and Barbara? Color me surprised.

Barbara: Oh yeah, I had to remotely pilot the Batmobile the other day because Cass needed a getaway.

Bruce: Then why am I being charged $250?

[earlier]

Cass: *fighting a gang*

Barbara: Orphan, ETA thirty seconds. Prepare for extraction.

Cass: *knocks out the last henchman and runs to the car*

Comm. Gordon: *writing a ticket*

Cass: ?

Comm. Gordon: You're in a disabled parking spot without a permit.

[present]

Barbara: Well I am disabled.

Bruce: Understandable. I'll let it slide since it's the first time. Just file the paperwork for a permit.

Bruce: Dick, you went thirty-five over the speed limit when you weren't pursuing a suspect. Explain.

[earlier]

Wally: Race you to Keystone?

Dick: *revs the engine*

[present]

Bruce: You're better than this. I'm disappointed. Next up: Tim. Driving without a license plate. What happened there?

[earlier]

Tim: I wasn't supposed to take the Batmobile since Bruce benched me for my wrist, but my other ride is in the shop.

Kon: What about cameras? Can't your dad tap into the city's surveillance system?

Bart: Traffic cameras read license plates, so if we take them off, no one will recognize us.

Kon: Now that's an idea.

[present]

Tim: That's on me. I shouldn't have listened to them.

Bruce: Put them back on, plus you're benched for another week. Damian, on to you.

Damian: What on Earth could I have done? I followed the speed limit, parked in the correct spots, and never so much as changed lanes on an empty road without signalling.

[earlier]

Damian, a middle schooler: *driving*

[present]

Damian: Tt.

Bruce: Don't do it again. Duke...

Duke: *cringes and remembers what he did*

[earlier]

Duke: *hooks the Batmobile to a freezer trailer*

Duke: *starts driving around with a megaphone*

Duke: Ice cream! Get your ice cream!

[present]

Bruce: Fantastic job. No complaints.

Jason, muttering: Teacher's pet.

Bruce: And finally, Jason.

Bruce: *empties the rest of the box*

[oldmannapping]

HC: Bernard knows Tim is Red Robin, that’s fine, but he’s absolutely useless at guessing anyone else.

Bernard: “l know Jason is Batman.”

Tim: “You who the what”

Bernard: “I know your friend Bart is Robin.”

Tim: “Bern.”

Bernard: “I know Bruce is Aquaman. I know Connor is Nightwing.”

Tim: “Babe please stop.”

Bernard: (getting manic) “I know Damian is Orphan. I know Duke is Superboy”

Tim: “Wait how would DUKE be-“

Bernard: “DICK IS CATWOMAN!”

[frappegoddess]

I originally said this in a reblog but, picture this

Bruce Wayne gets invited by BuzzFeed to read thirst tweets. They are all from his Justice League coworkers.

-------------------------------------------

Bruce, in a completely monotonous voice: @Superman says: I wanna suck Bruce Wayne's soul out through his dick and spit it back in his face.

Bruce, with a completely straight face: Poetic

--------------------------------------------

Cue the batkids watching this video after its been uploaded and gone viral on Twitter: Remember when Uncle Supes wrote that tweet about you when he was stoned off his ass??

------------------------------------------

Said video was further used as blackmail by Tim, Jason and Steph. Duke couldn't look him in the eye for a week straight. Damian is yet to understand why the kids at school keep making jokes about his dad.

------------------------------------------

The Justice League will never live it down

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

"My favourite superhero is Green Lantern!"

"My favourite is the Flash!"

"Mine is Robin!"

[camo-wolf]

I don’t care what anyone says I’m looking forward to it

[batfamhastwitter]

Part 16! Tim really needs to get better about telling people where he's going instead of just disappearing lol

Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next

[mikeluciraphgabe]

I never really wanted the heroes to be in this but I thought this time it would be funny. You may or may not see them again idk yet

Part 6 master-post

[if-i-hate-the-headline]

wayne family adventures moments that i love dearly (pt. 1?)

roy harper? he's so chill about it too like damian you're struggling with making friends here's my advice i love jason

he's so sparkly

each of their faces gets me every time

jason just looks annoyed

dick just looks apologetic, like batman will be pissed at him

damian looks downright angry

tim, poor tim looks so uncomfortable

he's just cracking some guys skull!! (i love jason)

this is my favorite quote in history

bart is so flash, like hes just vibing and not at all caring about how stressed his friend is about him being there

he's the angsty one not jason

[garpen]

PT. 9.

Pls tell me who you guys think their godly parents would be. I struggled on them tbh

Also who were yalls gay awakenings?

<<Part Eight<< Master List >>Part Ten>>

[neuro-psyche]

I think there would be a major disconnect between the bats and the rest of the JL/super powered folk due to injuries and pain.

Let me explain.

I saw this post and it made me think of the healing factor/invulnerability of most of the JL. Clark is practically impervious, Diana’s worst injury is a paper cut at her day job, and the Green Lanterns have a passive force field, so on and so forth. But Batman bleeds. The only one who’s got any sort of healing factor is Jason, but it’s nothing compared to the flashes.

I can imagine Batman nursing some sort of injury like a broken rib from a punch he took from some super villain of the week, whereas Diana, who took the same punch, just shook it off. Batman isn’t jealous. He’s not bitter or angry. He just notices it. He knows he’s not as unmovable as them. But no one else sees that.

But I think it would really become an issue with his kids. Seeing all of his kids participate in a superhero team at some point, most of which start those teams or lead them at some point, because he trained them harder than anyone else. Because they’re not invulnerable.

And the turning point would be if one of those kids gets hurt. Like if Dick broke a bone or something and needed to have it reset in the field, Batman telling him “Scream if you need to” and it actually happening would really make the supers around them take notice. The bats aren’t invulnerable. But they’re the most dangerous of the JL.

Idk I just thought it would be interesting. I might write something with the concept because I could go on about it.

[scarareg]

Spin the wheel and get a DC character

[robinsleeping]

Gotta love low resolution